Chapter 19 #2
“First of all, I want to thank you for the fridge magnet from Tampa. Colby told me how he forgot, but you remembered, so thank you.”
I huff out a soft laugh, remembering how stressed Colby was on the morning we were flying back to Boston because he forgot to buy Stassie a fridge magnet. I ran down to the gift shop in the hotel while he was in the shower and bought the most touristy-looking one I could get.
“You’re welcome.”
Her lips twitch in a tiny smile before her expression turns serious again.
“Secondly… Be gentle with him,” she says barely above a whisper.
“I don’t know everything, but I do know that you two have something special going on.
I saw it the night of the party and in the way you looked at him.
I get the vibe you’re a good guy, but that also means you have the ability to hurt him, and I don’t want that to happen.
Because if it does, I will have to find you, Tyler Beckmann, and I will chop off your toes and make them into a necklace, and I’ll use beads of your least favorite color to decorate it. ”
My eyes widen. Laughter bubbles in my throat, but I force it down. She narrows her eyes as the corners of my lips twitch, a smile threatening to appear.
“Uhh…” I stammer and run a hand through my hair. “I can assure you I don’t want to hurt him.”
“Good. I’m glad we’ve cleared that one up,” she states with a clap of her hands, then reaches around me to knock on Colby’s door. “I’m leaving now, boo, and you’ve got a visitor!”
She picks up her backpack from the floor and steps around me as Colby opens his door. His eyes light up the second he sees me.
“I was starting to think you got lost,” he says to me with a light chuckle, then looks at Stassie. “See you in the morning, Stas.”
She says her goodbye and gives me one final stern look before heading down the stairs. I step into his room, closing the door behind me, and let out a nervous laugh. “I didn’t get lost, but I did just have my toes threatened by your buddy.”
Colby tips his head back and laughs. “Oh, yeah, she has some wild ideas when it comes to threats. She’s harmless though.”
I glance over my shoulder to the closed door, then return my attention to him. “I don’t know, she sounded pretty serious. And something about beads? I don’t think I have a least favorite color.”
His laughter hits me in the chest, warm and comforting.
Kicking off my shoes, I let out a low whistle at how tidy his room is. There’s no clothes spilling from his closet or textbooks thrown over the floor. Have we traded places?
“Damn, were you hijacked by aliens or something?”
Smiling, he rolls his eyes and grabs two bottles of water from his mini fridge. He puts them down on his bedside table and flops onto the bed.
“No, jackass, I did it ’cause you were coming over.”
“You tidied up so I wouldn’t trip over your boxer briefs on my way to take a leak in the middle of the night?” I tease, placing a hand over my heart. “Wow, I’m honored.”
“Dick,” he laughs, throwing a pillow and hitting me on the side of the head.
I laugh too, all my tension from earlier disappearing completely.
I place my guitar down, resting it against his desk, then join him on the bed.
He opens his arms, and I fall into him, nuzzling my face into his neck.
His hands smooth over the expanse of my back, and then he tangles the fingers of one hand into my hair.
The smell of him, his warmth, how good he feels against me, all of it centers me, like nothing else matters except for this.
“I think Liam’s clocking on to us,” I murmur against his skin.
Colby tenses beneath me, and I run my hand up his side to his neck, cradling his jaw in my palm.
“He doesn’t know anything, but he thinks I have a crush on you and it’s one-sided, so he thinks you’re going to end up hurting me.”
I hear him swallow thickly. His words come out like they’re being dragged over broken glass.
“You didn’t…” He trails off.
“Tell him? Of course not.” I lift my head to look down at him. “When I said I’d take your secret to the grave, I meant it. No matter what happens between us, Colbs, I will never break your trust.”
He sighs, long and heavy. “I will come out one day, just… not yet. I don’t want to end up suffocating under the pressure. I know I won’t be able to breathe without someone clawing for an insight into my personal life until I break.”
“I get it. You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”
“I want to.” Those hazel eyes flick up to mine, and my heart lurches at the apprehension shining in them. “I don’t want to hide all the time, but I’m scared, Tyler. I’m so fucking afraid of letting people see me.”
My heart fractures in my chest. It pains me to know he’s scared because it goes beyond people finding out about his sexuality. He’s been scared since the spotlight was shone on him at such a young age and altered his life.
Knowing there are no words I can say that will make things better, I lean down and press my mouth to his.
The kiss is slow and tender. He wraps his arms around me, fingers threading into my hair.
It’s getting longer now, something I’m sure my dad is going to hate the moment he sees me, but knowing Colby loves it so much has me wanting to keep it.
When he releases me, I rest my head on my fist and run my finger around the shape of his mouth.
“I see you brought your guitar,” Colby says, his voice still thick and raspy with arousal.
“Mhm,” I hum. “Thought I’d play for you, if you still want to hear it.”
“Of course I do.”
“I haven’t played for someone in a long time. I normally just play in my room as a way to decompress after a game or study session.”
Colby kisses me again, nipping my bottom lip before murmuring, “Pretend I’m not here.”
I huff out a laugh. “Like that’s possible.”
He grins against my mouth and gives my ass a pinch. “Serenade me, Beckmann.”
I kiss him once more, then sit up and reach for my guitar. I take it from the case and sit back against the headboard. Colby shifts until he’s leaning back against the wall, his legs stretched out in front of him.
“What do you want to hear?” I ask, strumming some random chords to check it’s in tune.
“Can you play me the first song you ever learned in full?”
I arch a brow, one corner of my mouth hitching in a smile. “You want me to sing too?”
“If you want to. I’d love to hear you, but I’m not going to make you do anything you’re uncomfortable with.”
A full smile breaks out on my face. The words “I’d do anything for you, Colbs” are on the tip of my tongue, but I don’t let them free.
Instead, I reach around to pick up one of the bottles of water and take a sip to dampen my throat.
Once I put the water down, I inhale a steady breath and begin to play the opening chords of the acoustic version of “Broken” by Seether.
I don’t look at Colby as I start to sing the words I’ve had memorized since I was nine years old. It wasn’t a song that had any meaning as a kid, just a song that I heard Piper’s mom playing and really loved the melody, but as I sing it now, it resonates.
The need to relieve Colby of his fears, to the way I’m able to be vulnerable with him about how unhappy I am with the decisions made for me. How I want to make Colby happy and how happy he makes me by simply hearing the sound of his laughter.
How I’ll be incomplete without him.
My voice becomes more raspy as emotion clogs my throat, face heating as purpose grows in the words.
With the knowledge that leaving him behind when I go back to Arizona is going to break me.
When I play the final note, I let it hang in the air for a moment before risking a glance over at Colby. The expression on his face has the breath knocked out from my lungs.
His hazel eyes are glassy with unshed tears, cheeks tinted a light pink as he swallows roughly. His voice cracks on a single syllable as he whispers, “Ty…”