24. Nathan
24
NATHAN
By the time Candice emerges from her nap a few hours later, my brothers are both home and everyone is packed into the eat-in kitchen.
“So you’re the sister Beau has been hiding away all these years,” my younger brother Riley asks Candice as soon as she walks into the room.
She’s washed her face and put her hair back and she looks startlingly young. Many people would be intimidated by a room full of Booth siblings, all of us tall and with even bigger personalities.
But the girl’s got a spine of steel so she says, “I wasn’t hiding away. I didn’t care about meeting any of you.”
Riley whistles and looks her up and down appreciatively.
“Stop looking at her like that,” I grit out. My younger brother is a flirt—an even worse one than I am.
“Like what?” he asks innocently.
“Like a piece of meat, Riles,” Cassandra supplies. “Candice is a guest, so stop being an ass.”
“Yeah, Riles ,” Candice says, somehow knowing instantly that he hates that nickname. “I’m a guest. And if you look at me like that again I will introduce your throat to my fist.” She gives him a cheerful smile, but her eyes are all business.
“Riley can’t help it,” Cameron says. “He’s defective.”
“Boys! Don’t speak to one another like that,” my mother shouts from the stove.
“Yes, Ma,” Cameron grumbles. But I can tell my brother has it out for Riley tonight, just by the gleam in his eyes. He’s not done fucking with him, and I’m going to do my best to stay out of it.
Candice and Cassandra start talking at the table and I go over to help my mom with dinner.
“Natey,” she says. “You can always be counted on to help me.”
I don’t say anything, just finish draining the potatoes and get out the milk and butter from the fridge.
“Tell me how you’ve been,” Ma says to me as I get to mashing.
“Fine,” I say. “Okay. Good? I don’t know. I like working with the rescues.”
“It sounds like you’re confused.”
“A bit.”
“I haven’t seen you confused since before you started competing. From that moment on, riding and winning were your compass and your way out of the chaos of this house.”
“It wasn’t like that,” I say quietly, though my brothers are making such a ruckus it’s not likely anyone will hear. “I loved this house but…”
“Your father made it hard for you kids,” she says, finishing my thought. “I should have made him leave sooner.”
“He left when he left. It’s okay,” I say gently. “We all did what we could.”
She stirs the huge piece of meat braising in the soup pot on the stove and then sets to taking it out to shred. I’m reminded that Candice is a vegetarian, so I grab a few extra things from the fridge, and start to make her a cheese omelet. It’s not gourmet but it will have to do.
“After we eat, you’re going to tell me what happened to have you so unsure of yourself,” she says.
I wince. “I hadn’t realized it was that obvious.”
“It’s not,” my mom says. “At least not to her.” She tips her head towards Candice. “But I’m your mother. I can tell when one of my babies is hurting.”
“Why would I care what uh, what she thinks?” I say.
“Because I see the way you two look at each other.”
“You’ve seen us interact for all of ten minutes. Don’t play matchmaker,” I say under my breath.
My mom has wanted to see me and Cassandra settled down since we were in our late twenties. Riley and Cam get less heat since they aren’t yet thirty, but Ma worries that Cass and I will never find anyone.
The thing is, Cassandra probably will find someone. She’s not nearly as allergic to relationships as I am. She just refuses to leave this damn ranch for more than a few hours, so she never meets anyone.
We bring the food over and my siblings immediately dive at it, acting like they are still fifteen. Though, they all pull long days on the ranch so I guess they’ve earned it.
Candice just puts potatoes and green beans on her plate, and my mother immediately notices and reaches for the beef.
“Oh,” Candice says. “Please don’t. I’m, um, a vegetarian.”
A hush falls over my siblings and they all turn to stare at her like she’s some sort of alien life form.
“A vegetarian? Nate, you finally bring a girl home to meet us and she’s a vegetarian?” Cam asks, seeming genuinely aghast.
“I work with animals,” Candice says by way of explanation.
“So do we,” Riley says.
“Not like I do. I don’t raise my horses just to send them to slaughter eighteen months later,” Candice shoots back. She’s smiling her viper queen smile, the one she wears when she’s ready to play ball. I need to diffuse this situation before they murder one another.
“Relax you two,” I say. “Candice, we’re ranchers. You know that. And your family eats meat, too.”
“I know,” she says, crossing her arms and glaring at me.
“Riley and Cam,” I say, turning to my younger brothers. “Candice doesn’t eat meat. She spends too much time rehabilitating animals to enjoy eating them.”
“But what will we serve at your wedding?” Cass says in a teasing voice.
Candice bursts out laughing. “Oh, Nathan and I aren’t together. So no worries there.”
“Ouch,” Riley says.
I say nothing, and instead take Candice’s plate and put the omelet on it for her.
“Here,” I say. “I made this for you instead.”
She looks down at the omelet like she’s never seen an egg before, and then looks up at me, eyes wide, cheeks pink. “You cooked for me?”
“You’re our guest,” I say gruffly, well aware that all eyes in the kitchen are resting on me and Candice.
“You cooked for me,” she repeats, almost to herself. “Thank you.”
After dinner, Candice decides to visit the horses with Cassandra, and I get the chance to talk to my two idiot brothers alone. Unlike my mom, they’ll be honest with me about how the ranch is doing, and whether or not I need to inject more cash into it. Even though I’ve lost some endorsements, I’ve got enough in the bank to keep things going for a while.
We’re seated in the living room, which my mother had redone recently. She chose comfortable leather couches, plush carpeting, and a thick oak mantle piece. It’s not the living room I grew up in—the one I spent countless nights in with Cass, ignoring our father’s drunken yelling and trying to distract Riley and Cameron—but it’s homey. It feels safe in here.
“Tell it to me straight,” I say to my brothers.
“Things are going fine,” Cameron says, swirling the whiskey in his glass around.
“Don’t lie to me,” I say.
“He’s not. We are fine,” Riley says. “Promise.”
“ You might be fine, but the ranch isn’t doing great, is it?” I ask.
“Cassandra runs a tight ship, and we’ll turn a small profit this year,” Cameron says. “But we don’t have much room for error.”
My gut clenches. My dad mismanaged the ranch for years, and when Cassandra took over running the place, it was in deep financial trouble. Together we dug this place out of the hole he left it in and paid off all the loans, but it’s still tough making money off of a small family ranch. I’ve made sure my family has enough money to live comfortably, and I invest in the business, but it took a huge sum initially to pay off the debts our dad accrued.
“Hey, well, what does it matter? You’ll win another buckle and a fat check soon anyways,” Riley says.
I sense a note of anger in my brother’s voice, and I get it. I really do. They toil away on this ranch every day, doing the same shit that we all did as teenagers, day in and day out. Sacrificing their lives in service of a business built by a man we hate. Meanwhile, I’ve been posing for boot advertisements and winning five-hundred-thousand-dollar buckles. I’d resent me, too.
“I won’t be able to compete forever,” I say. “And I want to make sure you’re all taken care of.”
“We don’t need you to take care of us,” Cam says.
“Hey, man, not cool. Nathan’s just doing his part,” Riley says, surprising me by defending me, moments after he seemed pissed.
As the two older siblings, Cassandra and I have gotten used to our younger brothers chafing at how much we try to take care of them. But when you grow up with a father who’s a cheat and a loser, you realize you have to step up and help out. Cass and I both stepped up, in different ways.
“I don’t mean it like that,” Cam says, sighing. “Like we don’t want your help. I just mean that Cassandra has things under control here. The ranch is going to survive, and we all know it’s due to your help. But we also want you around more often. So compete less, if that’s what you want.”
Cameron, for all his gruff exterior, is as soft-hearted as I am at times.
“Cute,” I say. “You miss me.”
“Shut up,” Cam says.
“Or don’t and tell us what is going on with you and Beau’s little sister,” Riley says with a wicked grin.
“Nothing is going on there.” I focus on keeping my expression neutral and pleasant so they don’t suspect anything.
“Maybe it’s not, but you wish it was,” Riley taunts.
“Even if I did,” I say, pausing to take a sip of my bourbon. “It wouldn’t matter. I’m not a relationship guy.”
“Neither am I,” Cam says, a tad mournfully.
“Same,” Riley mutters. “It’s not even worth trying. I’d just fuck it up.”
Slow clapping sounds from the doorway and I turn to find Cassandra, who is thankfully alone.
“Wow,” she says. “That was some pity party. Congratulations on being such wet blankets.”
“Shut up Cass,” Cam says. “You’re no better than us.”
“Hey,” she protests, “I’m a relationship woman, there are just no good people around. But the three of you are pathetic. Acting like you’ll never find love when you’re all under the age of forty. It’s stupid.”
“You know why we’re like this better than anyone,” Riley says. “It’s in our genes.”
My younger brother does not mince words or pull punches, and in a sentence manages to articulate the feeling that has been hounding me for weeks—ever since I started spending time with Candice Wilson.
“Riley Booth, take that back this instant,” Cassandra says. “You three are nothing like him. And I’m not either. Being a dickhead isn’t genetic.”
“He couldn’t stay faithful to Ma for more than a month,” Cam grumbles. “What if we’re the same?”
“Well, you’ll never know unless you try,” Cassandra says, throwing the gauntlet down in front of us. “I guess you’ll each just have to test the theory the only way possible: by getting into a relationship.”
She turns around and leaves us there to mull over her words, the challenge hanging there between us, tempting us with the promise of the thing we never got from our father: love.