Chapter 53
Fifty-Three
Rymar
Zasen and Ayla went out to hunt for the meat we were stocking up to give to the Moles. They'd left right at sundown, but weren't back yet. Kanik had gone to help with the kitchens, doing his part to keep the Reaper camp running, but he'd already finished and returned.
"Just staring at the fire?" he asked, pulling up a log to sit beside me.
I nodded slowly. "They've been out there a while. Sounds like the rest of the camp is going to bed."
"The watch is in the trees," he assured me.
I murmured. "Yeah, but they didn't go that way."
Softly, Kanik chuckled. "Rymar, Ayla has both of those dogs with her. Right now, she's probably as safe as Lansin."
"You know, he has a puppy she likes," I pointed out.
Kanik groaned, rolled his eyes, and laughed at the same time. "At some point, you're going to run out of money, and she's going to run out of time to keep all of her pets fed."
"I was thinking," I said, completely ignoring that. "You know, we could build a kennel on the open lot. Put up runs."
"Better idea," Kanik suggested. "We attach it to the house. I mean, do you think Ayla would leave her dogs in another building where she can't pile them all on her bed?"
"Good point," I agreed. "She'll still need some sort of kennels, though. I've been looking around, and all the mother dogs have their own space with the puppies."
"Mhm," Kanik said, flashing me a smile. "So what kind of dog do you want?"
I scoffed. "A trained one."
"I want spots," Kanik said. "Mostly because they're no good for hiding. Solid white would be amazing, but those are so rare. But if I could have a dog like that, it'd mean there's no more need to fight Moles. It could protect me when we go to trade and be a pet the rest of the time."
"And be good with kids," I added.
He grunted. "Rymar, I don't need kids."
"Yes," I countered, "you do. The ones you teach."
"Okay, those, yeah," he relented. "But I don't need my own children."
"Need or want?" I asked.
He rocked his head from side to side. "I'm going with need, but only because I could be okay with kids if they happened.
I'm not looking for them, but I'm not out of this relationship if something goes wrong.
See, unlike Saveah, I am not enamored by babies.
I like them right around school age. Talking. Before that, they're just... I dunno."
"Kids," I agreed. "And I'm sure I'd love my own, but I'm not heartbroken Ayla isn't clamoring for them. Zasen isn't either."
"And if she changes her mind?" he asked.
I kicked at the dirt, making a line between me and the fire. "We'd be amazing dads. I know we would, but I really think we're much better uncles."
"Yeah, we..." His head snapped up and his words trailed off.
I turned to check what had caught his attention in time to see Pepper rushing toward us. The light of the fire made the red stains around her mouth stand out. There was more on her chest.
I shoved to my feet, my heart slamming to a halt - and heard the most beautiful giggle. Ayla's.
"I think she likes you, Rymar!" she said as she stepped into the light.
"Fuck," I groaned, bending over to catch the breath that had just escaped me. "What happened? Moles?"
"Bucks," Zasen said, trailing behind Ayla. "We spotted a pair, but one was too far, so Ayla sent the girls after it. We took out the closer one, the dogs chased the other back to us, and Pepper likes to use her teeth. She lamed it."
"And I killed it!" Ayla bragged. "Shot it right in the heart while it was moving." She didn't slow until she reached me, then threw her arms around my neck. "I love my new dog, Rymar! Thank you!"
I tried to tell her she was welcome, but before I could do more than lean back, her mouth found mine. There was a giddiness to the kiss, but no timidness at all.
Her fingers teased the hair at the back of my head. Her chest pressed hard into mine. Her arms pulled me close against her, and her mouth? Oh, her mouth devoured mine in a way I hadn't expected. Ayla kissed me like she was seducing me.
I could feel her breasts crushed against my chest. Full, round, and right there. My hands found her hips and held on, but only because that would keep them from roaming. The way she stretched upwards made her body grind against mine, and my blood was on a direct mission to do her bidding.
She'd kissed me like this in the kitchen once. Even when we'd gone swimming, she hadn't kissed me this passionately, and I liked it too much. I wanted to pull her in, grab her ass, and carry her into one of those beds - but she wasn't ready. She might never be ready for that.
So instead, I kissed a little slower, sucking on her tongue as she explored my mouth and slowing her down as much as I could. The hard part was keeping my hips far enough back, because the way she was shifting against me was too damned close to writhing.
"Wow," I breathed, pulling back to cool her off a bit. "You like your dog that much, huh?"
"Yes!" Then she turned - still holding me - and grabbed Kanik.
"And you helped me learn to aim so I could make that shot!"
With one arm around my neck, she all but dragged me over a half-step so she could kiss him next.
Her left arm caught his head, pulling him in, and that man did not try to resist. He caught the side of her face that wasn't next to mine, leaned in, and made it clear he had no problem with a little public display of affection.
He murmured in approval, she shifted, and somehow I ended up being crushed up against Kanik's side when her arms tightened a little more.
Against his hip. My half-hard dick was actually pressing into the fullness of his ass, and I couldn't pull away because she was kissing him the way she'd just kissed me - and I didn't want to ruin it.
My body tensed. My mind spun. Seeing her like this was the hottest thing I could imagine.
And with him? That half-hard dick was nearly all-the-way hard now.
This woman had no shame, because we'd managed to remove all of that.
It had taken months, but what was left? It was the most beautiful, seductive, and honest thing I could imagine.
She kissed Kanik like the world could stop for them.
She held me like she wasn't willing to let go.
I really wanted to like it, but I couldn't stop thinking about how close I was to him.
How inappropriately close. Grabbing Kanik's hip kept a little space between us, but that felt much too personal.
Too intimate. Too close to something I'd love to do, but he would not enjoy at all.
I was caught between a fantasy and the horror of reality.
I couldn't stop this because she'd take it wrong.
I couldn't encourage it because he would.
I couldn't relax because I knew I was the problem here, and I couldn't figure out how to fix it without making everything worse.
So I did what any sane man would in my situation.
Nothing.
"You're strangling Rymar," Kanik whispered against her lips.
"Oh!" Ayla immediately let us both go. "Sorry." Then she looked at me. "Sorry. I just had a really good night!" Her smile didn't slip at all.
"And you need to feed your dogs," Zasen told her. "Get the blood off Pepper, too. We don't want her to realize she can eat our game before it's given to her."
"Okay!" That woman tossed one more smile at me and Kanik, then patted her leg to call her dogs and jogged toward the cabin door.
I knew my mouth was hanging open as I turned to watch her go. Where had she learned to kiss like that, and over a good hunt with her dog? I was pretty sure I was missing something, but the sight of her heading into the cabin didn't give me any clues at all.
I could feel Kanik turn as well, but I refused to look. I didn't want to meet his eyes right now. No, I was going to focus on why Ayla had just done that. I had some questions. A lot of them, but they weren't all bad. No, most were good, because I had not expected that.
I also needed to be a few more steps away from my very straight friend.
"So, you found something?" Kanik asked, thankfully breaking the silence that had taken over when she headed inside.
"Deer," Zasen said. "There's a few clusters of them out toward the waterfall. Big ones too."
"Can we take enough to feed the Moles without depleting the herds?" Kanik asked next.
I was listening, but also making my way over to the far side of the fire. We needed more wood, or would soon enough. If I piled that up, it'd mean fewer trips later. Okay, mostly it meant I wouldn't have to pretend this whole mess hadn't just happened.
Fuck. I was going to have to explain to Ayla that she couldn't do that, and I didn't want to. We'd finally gotten her to accept it was okay to be sexual at all, so putting limits on her felt wrong, but she wasn't the only person in this relationship.
Kanik had never been interested in rolling around with men.
Zasen? He didn't mind, as long as a woman was in the middle.
Usually, that woman had been Lessa, although I refused to point it out.
But Kanik? He dated on his own. He didn't drag others into his bed.
Worse, he knew what I thought about him!
He knew I was in love with him.
The last thing I needed to do was ruin this partnership we had before we'd even settled into it. Things were still new. That would be what I'd tell him. She didn't know, I'd handle it, and it wouldn't happen again. He should be okay with that, right?
But he must've felt my dick a minute ago.
Hell, Ayla kissing me like that had an effect, and then to shove me against him?
Of all the forbidden fantasies my mind had ever created, that was the one I revisited most - and now it was going to fuck everything up!
If my skin could've changed colors, I was pretty sure I'd be as red as Jerlis's stripes right about now, but scales did have some advantages.
As I carried the wood back, I knelt to stack it up, but the other two had fallen quiet again. Worse, Kanik was watching me, and I could feel the awkwardness crawling on my skin.
"So," I said, "when are you planning to deliver that meat to the Moles, Zasen?"
He crossed his arms, watching me for a moment before he answered. "A few more days. Ayla says we need enough to feed five hundred people, otherwise they'll just come back."
"There's five hundred people down there?" Kanik asked.
"More," Zasen said. "But their portions are small, they only eat meat on holidays, and it's not going to taste the same as men."
"Yeah," I mumbled, hearing him but trying hard to care.
Kanik was looking at me again. From the edge of my vision, I could see his brow was furrowed, and his expression proved he was as distracted as me. It was bad enough that even Zasen noticed. But just when he opened his mouth, looking like he was about to ask, the door to the cottage opened again.
"Okay!" Ayla said, hurrying out. "The girls each got half a rabbit. Pepper's clean now. Holly already was, and now I'm hungry too."
"Grab some meat and cheese from the kitchen for everyone," Zasen told her. "Leave Pepper, take Holly. But before you get the food?" He grinned. "You get to tell Eriska where we left the deer. She'll send a cart to pick them up, but I think you deserve to call those kills yours, Ayla."
"Yeah?"
He nodded proudly. "Yep. You spotted them. You got the kill shot on one, and possibly the other. More than that, your dogs made sure we got both, so yes. You killed two bucks. Go brag, Phoenix."
"On my own?" she asked.
"You're a grown woman," he assured her, but one side of his mouth curled with the words.
And Ayla smiled back like they were sharing a secret, but she didn't say anything. Instead, she simply called Holly to her side and headed deeper into camp.
Yeah, I had a feeling that meant we were about to have a little talk while she was gone.