9. Raven
Raven
Iroll my shoulders and stand upright, the heat and scent dissipating within seconds. Quickly, I grab my T-shirt, tear the hem, dab between my breasts, underarms and glands. Then I put it all in a sealed bag, while the alphas struggle with Pix.
“Right, that’s better.”
Rose’s head snaps in my direction. “Raven,” he whispers reverently.
“Get him. Let's get moving,” I say, ignoring Roseland and the temptation he offers.
“It’s going to be dark soon,” Sage protests.
“We move,” I say, marching to Pix’s pack and hoisting it up on my shoulders. I turn back and find them all standing there, staring at me. “Get your asses together, alphas, or we’re all dead.”
That gets them moving.
I lead the way to the river and the raft. There’s enough light. Just enough. I turn back, watching as they file toward me. Rose has Pix in his arms. I stare at the omega intently. I want to check on him, but I can’t. Survival is about doing the hard things, not the things you want to do.
I help shove the raft out and hop on, casting a quick glance at Blaze, who seems to be studying me with intense interest.
“The last time we saw you, you locked us in our cabin. Is there going to be a repeat?”
“Do you see a cabin anywhere?” I ask him.
He grins wider.
King and Rolly are a bit stand-offish with me, but Sage is staring at me in fascination. It's unnerving.
“Can you just focus on not drowning us?” I snap in exasperation.
“I am excellent at multitasking.”
I huff and glance up to find Rose looking pained.
“I’m sorry,” I say to him. “I didn’t know. It was a miscalculation.”
He swallows and dips his head in acknowledgment. It’s not enough, and we’ll have to talk about it, but not now.
“So, you are out because…”
I turn a furious look on Rolly. “This body is mine.”
He flinches. “I’m not saying-”
“I can come and go as I please.”
“Of course, you can-”
“Furthermore, I do not answer to you. I’m not your omega.”
Blaze, Rolly, Sage, and King whip their heads towards me.
I watch the alphas inhale and catch the muted scent.
“Beta,” I say slowly, enunciating the word almost like I’m mocking them. “I’m here because she went into heat, but he needs our help. Therefore, the heat has to wait.”
“You would put off having your heat to protect Daega?” Rose whispers.
Shit!
I tear my gaze from him, shaking my head at my stupidity. “Guide the raft, the damn sun’s setting, and I refuse to die here.”
“You’re very bossy, Raven. I like it,” Sage murmurs and winks at me.
I scoff and shift my weight, watching the whitecaps. We just need to get through this next bit, and we’ll be much deeper in the park. It’s safer there. The maps I’ve memorized are coming in handy.
So are all the lessons I made us study. I read the water and murmur directions to Blaze. He relays it to the others, not even questioning whether I know what I’m talking about. He’s either an idiot or he trusts me, but why would he trust me? What have I done to earn that trust?
The canyon walls build up until we’re almost squeezed in. The rapids get quick. Doing it in near dark is dangerous, but certain death awaits us back there. I’m sure we were being followed.
There’s no sign, there rarely is, but it’s a feeling, something that just hits all the alters but few seldom recognise what it is.
I grip the safety rope of the raft and watch the river. I don’t pray. There’s no point; no one answered us before. Instead, I prepare myself to fight my way through, to survive as I always do.
It’s always like this.
An eternity passes, and then suddenly, we’re on the other side, and the water slows. Blaze says something, but I’m still trying to grasp the concept that we survived. We continue to float down the river in the dark until Blaze points.
“That’s the spot.”
They steer the raft to the left side of the river. We hit with a soft bump. I stand up and jump out, catching the rope that’s thrown to me.
In minutes, the raft is hidden, and we’ve melted into the dark, disappearing like we were never here.
Still, I cast a look back. We’re going to be at our most vulnerable, I have to make sure there is no chance of us being found. They pick a camp, and I melt away, dragging that bag out. I make it back to the river and strip until I’m naked, the bag clenched in my teeth.
The water is icy, but I keep going until I’m thigh-deep, then I plunge in and swim across as fast as I can.
Once I’m on the other side, I look back, seeing no one there.
I turn and plunge into the forest, running barefoot back the way we came.
Every now and then, I open the bag and drop a rag that is coated in our omega scent.
It takes most of the night, but I manage to leave forty scent trails that go deep into the forest and end at various places. It will buy time. That’s all I can hope for.
I wearily stumble back to the river and slip back in. It’s colder this time, deeper, faster. I’m tired, and my arms and legs ache. The urge to just let go and let it take me to the bottom is strong.
I miss the bank and groan as I’m slammed into the side of a massive rock. Water gets in my mouth, and I cough, struggling weakly.
I’m plucked out of the water and into massive arms. All I can feel is relief.
He puts me down, helping me to stand, and I find myself face to face with Rolly. He’s not who I thought would be out here saving me.
“You want to explain?”
“Decoys?” I croak.
He grumbles but pulls a towel and starts rubbing my naked body down. When I’m dry, he helps me dress. It’s harder than I thought it would be because I’m so cold. He grabs my wrist and drags me back to the camp. I’m stumbling and barely able to stay upright, but he refuses to slow down.
We reach it, and he places a finger to his lips. I stand there, shaking and feeling like a drowned and scolded rat while he dries off and changes his clothes. Only then does he grab me and pull me into his arms.
With a growl, he wrenches open the tent and drags me inside, closing it and pulling me down into a nest of sleeping bags and alphas.
Pix’s heat scent is weaker but still just as sharp. It’s almost fully here.
“You have two hours to sleep, then we’re up and moving again,” Rolly hisses, and I know he’s annoyed with me. I could almost regret it, but this is what I do. I keep us safe.
It’s nice to be held, though. He doesn’t want sex; he doesn’t want anything but for me to sleep. It’s a strange and pleasant feeling, and I find myself snuggling deeper into his arms.
Before I can think, I’m being shaken awake. Blaze’s lips are in a tight line as he helps me up. They pack up the tent and get everything out and ready to go without speaking a single word to me.
I refuse to admit I’m wrong. I did the right thing. It will keep us all safe, they have no idea what Father is like and how far his reach is.
We set out. Rolly stays close. Rose ignores me, his jaw clenching and his eyes filled with hurt every time I glance in his direction, but it’s Blaze and King who are the most angry.
I ignore them all, focusing instead on putting one foot in front of the other. Following through, the hours blend together, and I have no idea where I am. My feet ache, my legs tremble, my brain is like cotton wool.
The others keep trying to push through, but even in this weakened state, I’m not dumb enough to do something that would end us all, so I put all my energy into holding them off, ignoring the knife-like pain in my head and the shouting of the others.
Kestrel is the only one who stays completely and utterly silent. I find that worrying. Why has she been so quiet since the whipping? Did he finally break her?
I stumble and fall hard to my knees. I try to get up, but I can’t do it. There’s nothing left. No energy, no strength. It’s just me and this path I have to follow, but I’ve been doing it so long and alone, and I don’t know how to ask for help.
I don’t know how to-
Rose swings me up and crushes me to his chest. My legs feel like jelly, and everything hurts. The feel of him, the smell of him breaks the control I always carry. I wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his chest, letting those awful tears fall.
“You idiot. Just ask. You just needed to ask. I need help. Say it with me.”
“I need help!” I whisper. “Rose, help me.”
“Stupid, stubborn idiot.”
He swings me up into his arms and turns, and I find them all there. All I needed to do was ask?
Why is asking for help so impossible?
Why are those words not even in my vocabulary?
Why can’t I even think them?
We move faster now that I’m in Rose’s arms, and soon, I’m drifting off, falling asleep.
“Are you okay?” Rose asks at one point.
“I’m okay. I’m fine. We’ve had worse.”
Someone curses, but I don’t know who, and I’m too tired to find out.
“You’ve had worse than what he did?”
I nod. “Mm-hmm. Much worse. Can’t remember it all. But that’s why there are six of us. Something terrible happened, and we just broke,” I say, and it’s strange that my words are slurring.
“Did it hurt?”
“Splitting? No. We were a mess; we didn’t even know what happened. Not until much later, and then there were just more of us. It was strange, I remember how startled we all were to find each other.”
“I’m glad it didn’t hurt you,” Rose murmurs.
I turn my face into his chest and exhale deeply. “I’m sorry I hurt you and disappeared, Rose. That I keep doing it.”
“It’s okay. It will be over soon?”
I nod against his skin. “Yes, if we don’t end it soon, he will find out all the things I’ve done, and it will be too late to save us.”
Rose pulls me tighter. “We’ll save you.”
“You will?” I ask, amused.
“Of course, you asked for help,” Rolly says from beside me.
I turn, looking at him, seeing him properly for the first time. The bleakness of the situation and just how many lives I hold in the palms of my hands is staggering.
“If it comes to it, kill me. Don’t let him take me alive.”
Rolly’s expression hardens. Blaze inhales sharply, but Rose lets out a pained sound.
“Promise me!”
Rolly stares at me. “I will free you, one way or another.”
I relax, satisfied, and look up at Rose.
“Have I told you lately that I love you?”
“Shush, you’re clearly delirious.”
I laugh softly. “We have another day of hiking, and I will go, but I will stay until everyone’s safe.”
“Go to sleep, little beta. We’ll take care of everything,” Blaze says confidently.
I believe him, so I do as he suggests.