Chapter 26
Every step sank into the mud like it was quicksand. It didn’t take long for the rain to soften the terrain until the mud came to my calves. It took more power than I could have thought to move forward. Each step was a steep climb, and I was tired by the time I’d put some distance between Rot and I.
His emotions trickled through, but were alarmingly muted. As if he was purposely shutting me out. I hadn’t realized how used to feeling him I was, but it was better that way. It would make what came next easier.
Water rose over the land points, rising to my knees fast. Then again, that was probably me falling through the mushy ground.
I knew it wasn’t just an illusion though.
Ponds that were previously separate connected together.
With enough rain, this place would turn into one giant lake, trapping me inside it.
Shit.
How did I get out of this? Quickly.
I heard splashing behind me, but when I turned, nothing was there. The rain hitting the water hid something’s movements, but I couldn’t figure out what or where.
“Rot, is that you?”
Instinct pulled me forward, and I followed it, knowing I had to do something. Moments later, I came across the opening to Rot’s den.
Where the opening for the den was, it was probably a safe hiding spot. Rot wouldn’t have put it there if it would flood with a little rain. Most animals in this type of terrain were good at finding den spots like that.
My legs trembled from the workout getting to this point and stepped into the entry. As soon as I did, the sound of water rushing surrounded me. A loud crash shook the tunnel like a dam broke or something. I’d barely made it to safety.
What if this place couldn’t hold?
The flash of light outside made me realize the rain had turned into a full blown thunder storm. I let out a sigh of relief. The thunder must have been louder in here.
A pull from behind me called to the raw spots in my chest still quivering. I turned, looking at the nest in the distance. Sitting there innocently, as if it were simply a place to rest.
The realization hit me.
Was the swamp locking me in my room?
I wasn’t sure how much power it had, but it was interesting that this storm started right as I decided to leave, driving me exactly where it wanted me to be.
My breathing stuttered as I realized I’d fallen right into a trap.
One specifically crafted for me to willingly walk into. The kind where I survive, but at the expense of myself.
I shivered from the cool air blowing across the opening. I was soaked from head to toe and mentally wrecked. That nest would be warm and comfortable. The perfect place for me to ride out the storm and recalculate my life. My throbbing shoulder reminded me that my pain would ease there too.
I even took a step toward it before I could stop myself.
No. Don’t you dare.
If I laid down, the woman who kneeled in the mud and made the decision to be more than ‘the one that survived’ would die.
But it would be so easy, the weak part of me thought.
I scanned the cavern with my flashlight, expecting Rot to appear from the other entrance. So he could tell me that he reconsidered what I said and begged for forgiveness. That he made a mistake leaving me.
That way, I could sink into the nest guilt free.
But all I sensed from him was a thought: See, she isn’t going anywhere. She’s right where she is supposed to be.
Asshole.
It was always expected for me to just accept it.
Not this time.
My finger touched the bone wall, making my eyes grow wide. I yanked my hand away like it burned me.
I stumbled backwards. When had I closed the distance between me and the nest? I’d only taken my focus off it for a moment.
But I felt it now, a cord burrowed in my chest, dragging me to the path of least resistance like a tow chain. The girl who’d survived everything knew that was the best plan to make it out of this.
I can’t live like that anymore, I reminded myself.
I had to get out. I wasn’t mentally strong enough to wait for the storm to pass. I had to decide what was more important: live broken or die true to myself.
I prepared to flee, but each step was heavier than concrete slabs tied to my ankles. Within a few feet, I could barely pick my legs up.
I went to my hands and knees, crawling out. The closer to the exit I was, the more I had to dig my nails into the dirt to keep moving, making my fingertips bleed in the process. Sweat poured down my temples despite the chill rolling over me.
Had I really betrayed myself so many times that choosing me was so fucking hard?
Stay in the nest. Eventually Rot will appear, with no apology. He’d keep me alive, cause he had too, and we’d keep in this cycle. Alive.
Outside was death.
There was death in here too. The kind that never ended.
No. I wasn’t doing that.
I used every muscle in my arms to exit the den. At one point my limbs felt like they were ripping away from my body as if something held my ankles and refused to let go.
Tears streaked down my eyes, and I screamed my agony to the swamp. It was like ripping the knife out of a wound. Painful, but absolutely necessary.
Otherwise, the wound never healed.
I laid face down in the mud when my toes left the den. The pressure came off my legs, but the throbbing in my chest made it impossible to move.
I wasn’t sure how long I laid there sobbing, but eventually I lifted my eyes to study the swamp.
The water rushed on each side of me. The hill that the den opening was at only had the length of my body of land.
But the water wasn’t rising anymore. Instead, it was a rushing rapid pouring water into the lower sections of the swamp. A placement I was sure was by design.
Every muscle shook as I stumbled to my feet, using a tree to hold me steady. An invisible pressure released off my lungs that I hadn’t even realized was there, until I could breathe evenly. At the same time, dread that didn’t belong to me punched me in the gut, making me nauseous.
Yeah, fucker. I can do this.
My best bet was swimming across the pond to my left since I knew there was higher ground that way, but the water was rushing so much that it was going to be a fight.
Apparently, I was going all nine rounds today.
I slipped into the water to find it much deeper than I remembered. The current wasted no time, carrying me downstream.
Memories of drowning hit me, but I kicked my legs and arms as hard as I could to swim across, even as I steadily moved downstream.
Come on, Talia. You got this.
Panic welled in my throat, but I poured all the energy into swimming against the current, ignoring that I was moving away from the pathway I knew.
You can track your way back. You’ve found your way through worse. Keep going.
Because I was a bad ass bitch, who’d survived through more than most people ever would.
Right as I got my fingers on semi-solid land, a huge wave of water slammed into me. I clutched my fingers, but the mud gave way as easily as paper, tossing me back into the rapids.
Damn it.
I grabbed the branches of a thick brush along the waterline, letting the thorns dig into my fingers and palm, and using it as an anchor to pull myself onto land.
Once I had my feet under me, I leaned on my knees to catch my heaving breath, and noticed another den opening beside me. I chewed over the wisdom of going in there when a threatening growl rumbled from deep inside.
The last thing I needed was a bear or something on my ass.
Thunder clapped loudly and shook the land under me as a loud roar echoed from deep within the swamp.
Keep going.