Chapter 11
CHAPTER 11
Ezra
On top of Renee, I kissed her shoulders, breasts, and arms. She’d passed out cold, and I was using my body to warm her up. I had us underneath the comforter, tucked in my bed, and was ready to take care of her.
I stroked the side of her face, admiring how beautiful she was. Something inside warned me about falling too quickly for her. But ever since I’d run into her, all I could think about was our future. I didn’t believe in coincidences, only fate. In all the places in the world and all the people, what were the chances that we’d both end up here, single, and emotionally available? We were both working on ourselves in different ways, but it honestly sounded as if this was the best she’d been in a long time. I would say the same for myself as well.
Talking feels good, teasing feels appropriate, the way we laugh and interact. Not even dating Tammy felt this good. The only concerns I had were ones that made me wonder if we were moving too quickly. Other than that, I had no worries.
“You’re staring at me,” she mumbled.
“Well, who told you that now was the perfect time for a nap, Sleeping Beauty?”
“Did you think I made it in life by following the rules? Pssh!” She weakly waved me off, and we both laughed at her joke.
“How are you feeling?”
“Used, Sir. Beautifully used.”
“Mhm. Fucking perfect. When you’re all the way back with me, I need to check you. I found a bit of blood on the condom.”
“Bleh. Well, at least she gave me today to enjoy you.” Her smile didn’t waver.
“Yeah. It’s nothing heavy. I bet we could go another round before she starts flowing,” I offered.
“Not afraid of swimming in the Red Sea?”
“Water is water, no matter the name or the color of it.”
“Mmm… good to know. Because on day three, I’m usually trying to hump everything in sight.”
“Noted. I’ll get more condoms.”
“A man after my own heart,” she feigned.
“I am. The rest of you, too.”
“Ezra… you said slow.”
“Yeah, I know.” I sighed. “I don’t know how to describe it. It’s like I know where this is going. I feel it in my gut.” I rolled over, lying beside her. She curled against my side, and I held her in place.
Renee nodded but didn’t say anything. I knew it seemed intense, and I didn’t know what to do about that. I was blown away by this, too.
“Do you think it’s over between you and Tammy?” Renee asked.
“I know it’s over.”
“Then why did she show up here?”
“Because she still thinks that she can win me over.”
“Can she?”
“No.”
“What if she’s pregnant?” she asks.
I could feel her eyes assessing my response.
“Then we’ll figure out how to co-parent. Though she doesn’t want children, so talking her out of custody should be easy.”
“Not everything works out the way we think it will. She was persistent, and that makes me assume she’s not finished with you. I know Tammy and she’ll do whatever she needs to in order to get what she wants. She’s dedicated to her causes that way.”
“What she wants has nothing to do with what I want. She can keep her sick ideas in her head. My decision was made long before you were a factor. She chose today to come because she must’ve seen the email that Kelly sent out, letting people know about the course being here this year. Nobody else knows where I am and Kelly hates her and would never give out that information.”
“Okay. I don’t know what else to say other than, I don’t like it.”
“Trust me, I hated every part of her being here. I can forgive a lot of things, but not lies. She had so many years to tell me the truth. She chose violence.”
“How is that violent?”
“To be completely honest, I was very much in love with her. I was mostly happy. The missing element was the factor of children. However, learning that she pretended to be everything I needed in order to keep me is crazy. I can’t sit here and ever say that I knew her because there’s so much of it is a huge lie. I could never go back to a situation like that.”
“I understand.”
“Change of topic. I wanted to come back to what you told me earlier. The suicide and cutting. A few things… one, I’m glad you’re still here. You have so much to live for. Two, I’m happy for you that you have gotten help. That takes so much courage to do and to stick with it. Three, at some point, I’d like to sit down and talk about the signs of depression for you and how it looks. That way, if a crisis arises, I know how to help if you need it.”
“You’d be there?”
“Oh, baby.” I chuckled. “Every step of the way. If you’ll allow me to love you, it’s not that easy to get rid of me. I told you, lies are my deal breaker. Don’t do that and you’ll be fine.”
“You’re only saying that because you want more pussy,” she muttered.
“Not a chance. I’ll get that, anyway. Also, the word is cunt.”
“No, it’s not.” Renee climbed on top of me and reached into the drawer on my side of the bed. “Typical man.” She retrieved a condom and opened it. “I’ll do whatever you want, but you have to call her what she is.” She worked it onto my stiffening erection. Then she lifted enough to ease it inside her. “Pussy.”
“Only if I get to put the word ‘my’ in front of it,” I challenged.
“You’re the one inside her.” Renee moaned and closed her eyes. “It’s always yours when you’re pleasing her.”
“That’ll work for now. But when you’re completely mine, you’ll both learn your place.”
“My place?” She raised her eyebrow and slowed her pace.
“Yes.” I rolled her over and pinned her to the bed. “Wherever the fuck I want you to be.”
“Mmm… yes, Sir.”
“Good girl.”
We spent most of the weekend inside since it stormed. I didn’t mean to spend as much time with her, but I wasn’t going to reject it either. I welcomed her company. It was easy to enjoy and brought happiness my way, too. Sunday, I worked in bed while she watched some reality show. That wasn’t my thing, and it was easy to get things done when I wore earbuds and blocked everything else out. I still got to see her wiggle when she inched closer, smile when something intrigued her, and feel her warmth next to me. It didn’t get much better than that. And when she wanted attention, she let me know. Meanwhile, she brought me snacks, kissed me whenever she wanted, and even cuddled my legs. It was the kind of shit I could easily get used to.
Thanks to Kelly, I’d have to go back home to show a few houses and to look at a few condos for myself that she’d arranged. I needed a few course materials for the apartment and would have to stop by there as well. Most of what I was doing was research and playing matchmaker with houses and owners. Taking what they needed and finding the closest thing to it to make them happy. For some of them, it included getting them better financing to cover the extra things they wanted.
The part I was least looking forward to was looking at the condos for myself. I was still tossing the idea around about finding a new place or keeping the old one. Looking at the possibilities felt wrong because I hadn’t decided. The old place was filled with memories of my previous life, but a new one meant breaking everything in again to adjust to my needs. Losing some amenities was a possibility that sucked when I’d been lucky enough to find what I wanted in the one I had now.
It’s time for a change.
That was true, but did that mean uprooting my life and settling for the second choice? I didn’t know. But since I was leaving this Friday after class, I didn’t have much time to figure that out now, did I?