Chapter 13
CHAPTER 13
Ezra
I slept like shit, wondering what to say to Renee to fix things. Everything I wanted to verbalize to her felt as if I was digging a deeper grave. In a lot of ways, she was right. In some, she was wrong. I understood how she felt, and that’s the part I didn’t know what to do with. I never meant to make her feel so unsure about us, especially since I was all in.
My phone rang and Kelly’s name was on the display screen. I guess it was time to start my day after all.
“Morning, Captain,” Kelly sang out.
“Morning. What’s on the docket for today?” I asked.
“You received an email from Renee. Seems she wants to do some kind of a burlesque show with the rest of the submissives as their final grade. She wants approval before she begins organizing it.”
“Sounds interesting. I like it.”
“The second email from her is a personal one. I guess she doesn’t have your non-business email address.”
“What’s it say?” I asked, rushing to my tablet.
“She wants a new partner. She isn’t comfortable executing the project’s agenda with you while she’s taking space from ‘whatever it is that we’re doing’.” She chuckled, and it rubbed the jab raw like peeling the scab off of a fresh wound.
I read the email she was referring to and hated that Kelly hadn’t been exaggerating what she quoted.
“Words of advice, woman to man?” she asked.
“Yeah.” Because I was failing on my own.
“Grant her request. Figure your shit out without the course work as a buffer. If you want her, don’t respect what she’s asking. Though we both know she asked because she needs you to care that she’s requesting it. She also has to be woman enough to say whatever it is she needs to say without being passive aggressive.”
“So you think she’s trying to pull one over on me?” I plopped down on the couch and massaged my temples. I couldn’t handle another Tammy situation.
“No. I think she’s hurting from whatever it is you did. You probably didn’t handle it the way she needed you to and so naturally, she’s checking to see if you care or if you’re going to keep giving her space. Space is bad in this situation. She needs reassurance that she matters. However, it’s a double-edged sword and you need to figure out which angle you’re going to play. One side or the other, both, or none. Depends on how you feel about her. I suggest honoring the request but showing up, regardless. Letting her win the class assignment requests, but still being in her space. Reassure her another way. She has to understand both tactics, though. Yes, I gave you what you want, though it’s not really what you need. However, I still want you.”
“That’s so fucking confusing.” I sighed. “Maybe I should have coffee first.”
“Maybe. How’d you like the condos I set up for you?”
“The last one was”—I kissed the tips of my fingers at once and made sure she heard the smack of my lips affiliated with the gesture—“chef’s kiss.”
“Are we making an offer?”
“No, I think I want more time. Can you keep looking?”
“What was missing?”
I went over the layout in my head and tried to figure it out.
“I don’t know.”
“Then I don’t know either.”
“Kelly, maybe it isn’t the right time to be making that decision.”
“Okay. I respect that. We’ll chat about it again tomorrow.”
I grunted. “That’s not what I was saying.”
“Are you ready for today’s lesson?”
“Yes. I’ll reach out to see if Sasha is still available to take Renee. If so, then I’ll have her reach out.”
“Good. What else?”
“You sent out this week’s overview?”
“I did. Oh, and I messaged Sasha. She’s good, and?—”
“Already? I just asked like five seconds ago?”
“What can I say? I’m a very good multi-tasker. Anyway, I informed Renee. That leaves…”
“Me to get coffee and a shower.” I stretched as I stood.
“Talk to you later, Captain.”
I disconnected the call and felt heavier now than before we’d talked. The distance was already setting in between Renee and me.
“It’s a double-edged sword and you need to figure out which angle you’re going to play. One side or the other, both, or none. Depends on how you feel about her. I suggest honoring the request but showing up, regardless. Letting her win the class assignment requests, but still being in her space. Reassure her another way.”
“How am I supposed to do that?” I asked the universe, hoping for an eye opener–an epiphany.
My phone rang and Derek’s name and a goofy photo of us popped on the screen as the background. I smiled and answered.
“What’s up, bro?”
“How’s it going?” he asked.
“Good.”
“Yeah? I heard really good things about week one and how the class can’t wait to see how you’ll elevate the experience in week two.”
“No pressure, right?” I joked.
“All the pressure. If you really did break them down the way I heard you did, it’ll be nice to see how you’ll build them back up. I also hear there’s a burlesque show happening?”
“How did anybody find out so quickly? I just approved the idea ten minutes ago.”
“Excitement travels fast. I’m going to reach out to Renee to see if she needs any help. How are the two of you doing?”
I sighed, hating his sixth sense. “When will you stop being creepy?”
“Who knows? So, what’s going on? I know the two of you are compatible. Almost perfect. What’d you do?”
“Why was it me?”
“Because you’re supposed to be the rational and sound mind in the relationship. The oar who keeps the boat moving. If it’s stalled, who else do I ask?”
I didn’t argue, I just filled him in. Going in circles with a man who knew too much for his own good was pure insanity.
“She’s right,” he said when I was finished. “Subconsciously, you’re still holding on to Tammy. We all know she was never the one for you. She was always trying to outsmart you. You happen to let her do it every time. Love makes everybody blind.”
“I wasn’t looking for a lecture, bro.”
“Close the chapter with Tammy once and for all. Show Renee you mean what you said. But continue to be consistent. Show up for her or you’ll lose her. She’s used to being alone and afraid. Be there for her and let her see she’s not. Actions are louder. Be where she is. Court her. Surprise her. Stop talking about yourself because you’re six feet under at this point.”
“I have closed that chapter with Tammy. We talked!” I sighed loudly.
“I said close it, not pause it. Get her out of your condo or find another one. It’s still in limbo and Tammy can keep playing that card of her new place isn’t ready until the wheels fall off. Move the hell on, E.”
Words said by Renee, Kelly, and Derek. Different verbiage, but it all meant the same.
“I hear you, bro.”
“Good. I’ll be checking in to see how the rest of the weeks are going. Keep doing what you do.”
When the call disconnected, I called Kelly back.
“Yes, Captain.”
“Condo number three.”
“I’ll send over the bid information.”
“And can you put my condo up on the for sale list?”
“On it. What about the current tenant?”
“It’s time to serve her with a thirty-day notice.”
“Understood. Captain?”
“Yeah?” I paused in the doorway of my bathroom as if she could see me.
“I’m proud of you.”
Unable to help it, I smiled. I felt lighter for making the decision. It took a little push and to be called out, but I did it.
“Me, too. Thank you, Kelly.”
“No problem.”
Now I had to figure out how to give Renee her space and be present at the same time. Double-edged sword and all.
That’s when an idea struck, and I knew it was the answer to all my problems. I sent a text to Derek and waited for him to seal Renee’s fate. Meanwhile, it was shower time.