35. Afterthought
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
AFTERTHOUGHT
Payne
The first ray of sunlight peeks through the crack between the curtains. Once we got home from the hospital, we went to bed, but there was no way I could sleep. She tossed and turned enough, so when she finally settled, I crawled out of bed so I wouldn’t wake her.
But I couldn’t leave. I’ve been sitting here staring at her for the last two hours.
I think it’s safe to say, Ruby and I have given the town plenty to talk about. My mom checking into rehab is nothing compared to me killing my father and the son of a New York mob boss almost killing the love of my life.
Nothing would make me happier than to marry Ruby, have a shit ton of babies, and never leave this property for the rest of our lives. But the free-spirited girl I fell in love with who grew into a beautiful, creative, and exuberant woman would never have it.
And the last thing I’d ever do is keep Ruby from being anything but her true spirit.
I’ll get over it ... someday. I hope sooner rather than later since every human who was a threat to us is dead.
Telling her about my dad felt like a big fucking afterthought given what she went through. And just like me when we ran up on the scene where Enzo had a gun pointed at her, she was as haunted by the thought of losing me as I was of her.
A small moan seeps through her lips when she tries to roll in her sleep and forgets that she has a fractured arm.
Her beautiful blue eyes flutter open. It pains me to think about what she went through.
The skin on her face is scratched. Bruises have already started to form up and down one side of her body, but what the fucker did to her back was the worst. With a broken arm and bruises, I’m not sure when she’ll sleep well again.
Her eyes dart around when she realizes she’s in bed alone until she finds me sitting on the other side. She licks her lips and tips her face to me. “What are you doing?”
I tell her the truth. “Staring at you. Thanking God you’re here. Obsessing over the fact you almost weren’t. Torturing myself for the fact I wasn’t with you. Do you want me to keep going? The list is endless.”
She reaches out for me with her good hand. “Come back to bed.”
I shake my head. “Every time I moved, I felt like I was hurting you. And since you refused the good drugs, I’m extra worried.”
She pulls in a slow breath. A dagger slices through my heart to see every move she makes give her discomfort. “But what if our fuck it plan worked? I can take a little soreness to protect our baby.”
The moment the doctor suggested prescribing her the hard stuff, she put a stop to it.
She announced that she may or may not be pregnant, and that our future child will not only be the president of the National Honor Society but also lead the drama club, so she would not be taking any medication to fuck that up.
I don’t have to reach far to brush the blonde hair from her face. “Baby, I didn’t know I could love you more, but I do.”
She manages a small smile. “I hear that’s what good mothers do. Not that we’d know. We’ll have to rely on the internet to teach us how not to fuck up our kids.”
I lean down and kiss the tip of her nose. “The way I see it, if we stick around and stay sober, we’ll be batting a thousand.”
She threads her fingers through mine. “Come to bed.”
“I’m afraid I’ll hurt you.”
“Please. If anything, you’ll warm me. I need you, Payne. I want to wake up and feel you against every inch of my body.”
I stand and walk around the bed to climb under the covers with her. “You make it very hard for me to say no to you. The only part of this that I’m looking forward to is giving you a sponge bath.”
“Of course you’d look forward to that.” She rolls to her good side. Slowly, I fit my chest to her back, my groin to her ass, and tuck my knees behind hers. When she exhales, it sounds like a relief. “Thank you. You’re a human-sized heating pad.”
There’s no way I’m draping my arm over her, so I cup one cheek of her ass and let her settle into me. “Go to sleep, baby.”
She sounds drowsy but keeps talking. “We haven’t even talked about your wedding proposal. Yes, by the way, I will marry you. I’d do it tomorrow, but I don’t want to look like I just took a beating in our wedding pictures. And there’s the guilt of doing it without your mom.”
I press my lips lightly to the crown of her head. “The minute that cast comes off, we’re saying I do. That’s also on the list of things I’m obsessing about. I’ll take you to pick out a ring as soon as you feel like it.”
She yawns. “Surprise me. There are too few surprises in life. I’ll love it more that way.”
It’s my turn to pull in a deep breath. “This is it, Ruby. The start of our lives together. I’ll never let anything or anyone get in our way again. I love you, baby.”
She wiggles her ass into my groin—slowly, but she does it. “I love you too.”