28. Chapter 28
Michaela
I bonded with two little girls early on. They loved Ring Around the Rosie , with all the extra verses, and then recruited three friends to join in with London Bridges , though Macie, the smaller one, wanted to be the other half of the bridge so the rest of them had to duck awfully low to get under our arms. I read stories, careful to do all the voices and show the pictures. We ate lunch together and then made a puppet show for their friends. I laughed harder than I had in months. Spending time with them brought me out of my own issues, my mother’s frustrations, and the problems with Fitz. For a moment, it all became incredibly small compared to what they were facing.
I wasn’t the only one enjoying myself either. Dagny had enlisted every kid she could into some miniature army, fitted with strange weapons like plush snakes and oversized flowers that were once a part of the décor on the walls. I swear I saw a kid wielding plastic bananas like throwing stars. But for as much chaos as she created, when she called attention, they all fell in line.
Chantal was the big surprise. I don’t know why I assumed she would be awful with sick kids, but she was amazing. When she commandeered the other reading nook, she had no less than eight children on her lap or used her skirt as a place to sit. I could do the voices, but she had a narration talent like I’d never known. I found myself distracted by the tales she weaved without a book to help her. More than once, I noticed Fitz enamored with his ex-girlfriend. And who wouldn’t be? Gorgeous and great with kids? Her stock was definitely moving up in his eyes.
It was Gwen who struggled. The kids tugged on her hands to come play, but she shook her head and stayed close to the wall, unwilling to engage. It wasn’t until Sadie and Blair convinced her to join in with them that she finally got involved.
“Higher Lady Mick, please?” Macie’s voice carried back and forth as the swing moved. Strange to have a play structure indoors, but with all the snow outside so much of the year, it made sense. I pressed my palms against her back and pushed with more force this time, sending the swing soaring. Her giggles carried over all the chaos in the room.
“Lady Mick, huh?” Fitz filled the space beside me, casting a cautious glance in my direction. “Not Lady Coco?”
“No, Coco is just for Mom and—” I stopped before I admitted he was the only other person allowed to use my nickname. “Coco is special.”
“Coco is special,” Fitz agreed after a moment. I thought he might leave, but a little boy tugged on his coat and asked if he would push him on the swing next to Macie’s. Of course, he agreed because saying no to them was pretty much impossible. We stood side-by-side, awkwardness swelling exponentially as time passed. Something needed to be said, but try as I may, I couldn’t think of anything. Certainly not anything I could say out in the open where a camera or a fellow competitor could pick it up.
“I was wrong,” Fitz broke the silence between us first. “I overreacted to…” He looked around before he shook his head. “Well, you know. And I’m sorry. I’m glad you’re still here.”
“Nothing happened,” I reiterated again.
“It wouldn’t matter if it had,” he cleared his throat, “and while it certainly looked like it was about to,” I started to speak but he pressed on over me, “it doesn’t matter if it was or not. I was in the wrong. I acted like a child, unwilling to share, and I apologize for that behavior. I hope we are still friends.”
“Of course, we’re friends, Fitz. If that’s what you want.” Macie’s swing swooped away from me, so I took the brief pause to look at him. He felt my stare and met it, but the pain etched into his features drove a dagger into my gut.
He wouldn’t say it, but I could see it.
No, friendship wasn’t what he wanted, but with all the obligations he faced, that was his only choice.
We both returned to our duties as the swings returned, kids ready for another push. I sent Macie soaring again and her laughter helped to take the edge off the sting of what I could never have with Fitz.
“Mom says hi,” I said awkwardly as the silence filtered back in. “Also, international calls are pricy.”
He chuckled at the understatement. “I’ll foot the bill. Talk to your mother all you want. It’s the least I can do, considering.” Fitz took a moment to help the little boy stop the swing and get down. Turning back to me he asked, “How is your mother?”
“Obsessed with her new boyfriend. I mean, she’s upset that I might not make it home for Christmas, but at the same time, I’m not sure she’ll notice. Apparently, Shawn wants to make some new traditions for just the two of them.”
“That must be strange for you.”
“It is,” I admitted. “It’s been me and Mom for a really long time and now she’s adding this new aspect to her life and, I don’t know, maybe if I was making my own family it would be different, but right now it feels like…”
“Like she’s leaving you behind,” he finished for me.
“Exactly.” I pressed my lips together,. “Any chance you know an eligible bachelor who might want a train wreck like me?”
His cheeks spread into the kind of smile that melted my knees. “I’ll keep a look out. Bludgeon him on the head and lock him in the tower for safekeeping.” Turning like he meant to survey the rest of the room, he watched the others for a moment before he said, “Bishop is available and interested.”
“That makes one of us,” I answered, hoping he understood that my heart was already taken. Fitz turned back to me, brows slightly crushed from the effort it took to keep our confessions internal. He didn’t say a word though. How could he? Everything had been said and we still couldn’t find a way through it.
His fingers linked with mine, threading until they were wrapped together. Fitz squeezed as if he meant to put his arms around me vicariously through our matched grip. It only made it hurt more, but maybe I was a glutton for punishment because I didn’t want to let go.
As if setting off an alarm, I noted a cameraman started in our direction. Mom had told me all about the drama back home. I was being broadcast on every channel and more than one network had called her looking to do an interview with me about my possible whirlwind affair with the Crown Prince of Nolcovia. Clearly, the cameramen had new orders and my ban from camera time had been lifted.
“Thank you, Your Highness, for your kind words.” I eased my hand from his, hating the way his face betrayed my obvious rejection. To him, it looked like I was shutting him down for his effort to connect, but I couldn’t feed the rumor mills. With the slightest tilt of my head, I tried to motion toward the cameras that were heading toward us like sharks who smelled blood in the water.
His confusion snapped to understanding as he spotted them. “Yes, I’m sorry your dog…” Why did he mention a dog? Was this improv? “… was sold… to that circus.”
I froze. Circus? Who sells a dog to a circus?
“Yeah, that sucked… and it was super random… but… hey, clowns, right? That’ll be fun.”
“Indeed. Pardon me, I must check on the others.” Fitz moved away like I’d lit his suit jacket on fire. Truth be told, I might have if it meant I could have escaped that a little sooner. With a fleeting look of disapproval, the closest cameraman left.
“Higher, Lady Mick!” Macie called as the swing slowed. I quickly went back to work, trying to get it moving higher again. For a moment, I thought about the prize for the day. The lady of court with the biggest heart would get time with the prince.
Was it foolish to hope I’d proved myself worthy of winning?
Fitz
I had more to say to Coco, but with the new interest in her, it would have to wait. I still wasn’t okay with how things had transpired and I needed to understand what I’d walked in on, and what would have happened if I hadn’t. Kabir hadn’t been incredibly forthcoming that night.
After knocking on my door, all he’d told me was Bishop had taken Michaela out into the night and he’d lost them near the shipping warehouse. I don’t know what I expected, but it certainly wasn’t Bishop inches away from her lips and Coco’s arms wrapped around his body. Not after spending the evening with me and the kiss we’d shared.
In all honesty, her hasty actions had me rethinking everything. If she could be swayed so easily, if she was this fickle when it came to men, then I stood to lose too much if I gave up the throne for her, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want her in my life. Her friendship was the longest standing pillar of my existence, aside from my identity as Nolcovian royalty.
Outside the rain fell with increasing ferocity. Most of the snow that had fallen had been washed away, leaving muddy terrain and a nagging fear of mudslides. Three years ago, a flash flood had wiped out the South District because of heavy rainfall like this. With my father unable to make sound decisions, I needed to be in his place, readying for disaster, not playing Romeo to a group of courtiers.
And yet, this was where I had to be in order to fill that position.
I found the irony stifling.
“Heavy is the crown?” Chantal’s voice caught my attention and brought me out of my thoughts.
I hadn’t talked to my ex very much throughout the competition, but I also hadn’t sent her packing. She’d become a paradox for me, a stark contrast of the woman I thought I knew after dating for nearly a year.
“The rain,” I admitted. “It shows no sign of stopping.”
“You’re worried about floods?”
“After all the rain we had earlier this year…” I nodded, a little surprised that she’d read into it correctly. “Not to mention the lack of snow. Once spring comes—”
“The farmers need the snow to melt and bring the flux of water levels for summer crops.”
My eyes narrowed, instantly suspicious. “Yes.” Once again, I found myself tripping over the contrast of her old-fashioned and event-obsessed personality and the new woman who appeared well versed in the kingdom. “But how do you know that?”
She laughed lightly and waved to one of the children. “I told you before, you don’t know me, not really.”
“After the time we dated, I would—”
“And how much of that time were you actually present?” Chantal dared to cut me off, but I didn’t object.
I felt the camera lens tighten, even if I didn’t see it. This was the sort of gold they wanted. Revisiting my past failed relationship would give the viewers something to gossip about as rumors were confirmed or dispelled.
“I was busy learning to run Nolcovia, but I made time for you, didn’t I?”
Her delicate features flinched with controlled emotion. Impossible to deny her beauty, I tried to imagine her in the queen’s crown, ruling at my side. She would be breathtaking for every portrait and photograph, but I would always fear the ambition below it all. However, where I expected her to bristle at my retort, she blinked back her tears.
“Even when you did, you weren’t there, Leo. You were always focused on matters at hand, and I tried to be supportive, I did, but you never listened when I warned you about burnout.”
I scoffed. “You? Warn me? Hardly, Chantal. Stop rewriting history.” My anger kindled to life again. “You can play nice for the cameras, but I know what you are. I know about the duke and the American celebrity. I know about the earl and even the Baron of Gildan. What a joke, that one! He had to be at least eighty, and there you were running around with him behind my back, making a fool of—”
“And what was I to do, Leonidas? Wait at the palace for you, or watch from the balcony, like a doll set on the shelf waiting for my turn?” Emotion gripped her, choking out her voice as though it had wrapped its hands around her neck and squashed the sound from her. She sucked in a shuddering sob but shook her head and wouldn’t look at me. “I can’t atone for the sins of my past, but I have been here for you from day one trying to show you that I’ve changed. If you can’t see that… If you’re not willing to—”
A sharp scream cut off Chantal’s pity-me monologue. I whirled, seeking out the sound, uncertain if it was one of the ladies of court or a child.
“She’s choking!” Esme screamed. “Help! Please, help!”
A small girl next to her clawed at her throat, face red in her struggle. My heart slammed against my chest as panic took hold. I opened my mouth to shout orders, but nothing came out. As if a nightmare held me captive, my dread and panic paralyzed me.
Hospital staff rushed around, but no one moved toward the girl. Weren’t they trained? Didn’t they know what to do in this situation? I frantically searched out Helen, the administrator, but only caught sight of the last of her as she sped from the room calling for a doctor.
I couldn’t think.
I couldn’t breathe.
I could only stare at the small child as Esme cried harder, helpless beside her.
From out of nowhere, arms wrapped around the small child. Her body lurched hard, once, twice, three times, and then a projectile shot from her mouth. She dragged in a deep rasping breath as the doctor sprinted around the corner with Helen on his heels. I inhaled with the small girl, assured that she was alive, albeit upset, but breathing. She spun to see her rescuer and I realized I hadn’t thought to look either.
Slowly, as if my whole system still lagged under the strain, I followed the young girl’s gaze up to Sadie’s face. She beamed at the child, obviously relieved that the Heimlich technique had worked.
Sadie had saved the small girl’s life.
She was a hero.
Michaela
I held still as the applause sounded around us.
The girl was breathing again. That was what mattered.
It would be petty to feel upset that Sadie had beat me to her.
Because all that mattered was that she was breathing again.
Still. Two feet.
That was all that stood between me and saving her myself.
Though it felt like a thousand years, only a matter of seconds had passed while she’d choked, not even a full minute. Emergencies had a way of slowing down time to an ant’s pace, and as everyone cheered for Sadie, I forced myself to clap too.
What kind of monster felt disappointed that they didn’t get a chance to save someone? What if I hadn’t remembered my training? What if my selfish desire to be in the spotlight had cost the girl her life?
No, this was good news and I needed to back off.
Fitz spoke with the little girl, smile broad and relieved. He set his crown on her head, and she giggled through the leftover tears that rolled down her cheeks. Of course, it wouldn’t stay, but he held it there, proclaiming her royalty for the day.
He was one in a million.
And currently, I was one in seven.
My heart clenched as he stared up at Sadie, lost in wonder and admiration.
“Lady Sadira, I didn’t see anyone else so much as take a step forward, and you wasted no time in acting. Your heart is so pure. I do hope you’ll be willing to accompany me tomorrow morning on an outing?”
He should have opened his eyes, because I was right beside Sadie, eager to help.
I held my breath and pressed my lips together. Was it wrong to hope she would say no? After all, hadn’t she just told me that her heart was broken over the death of her true love?
What was I thinking?
This is what I was supposed to want for him.
She was a great choice. Sweet and caring. She knew the political underbelly of the kingdom and yet wasn’t as pushy as Blair. She would make a great queen.
Why was I clenching my teeth and wishing he’d asked me instead of her?
“It would be my honor, Your Highness,” Sadie whispered.
I looked away, unable to deal. Let the cameras see me. It would make great viewing to watch the American lose again.
I meant to glance out the window to see if the rain had stopped, but I felt someone’s stare and searched it out.
Chantal watched me, but her anger wasn’t meant for me.
No, she saw the way I’d reacted and had a message for me.
If I had to caption her look, it would be: Same, girl. Same.
I wasn’t the only one who felt robbed of my win.
But what could I do about it? I was supposed to be his friend.
More importantly, as I watched Chantal’s hands curl into fists, what did she plan to do about it?