29. Chapter 29
Fitz
S adie, or rather, Lady Sadira, was the last person I expected to accompany me to the old castle the following morning. For a brief moment, I worried that the honor would fall on Chantal, just because in all my wisdom , sarcasm intended, I had never expected her to fare so well with small children and figured the reward would fall to someone like Blair or even Gwen. Shocking turn of events later, I found that Gwen abhorred children, Chantal treasured them, and Sadie had unknown medical talent I’d never expected.
I’d meant to travel with her, but pressing matters kept me distracted an hour past our departure time. I fiddled with my watch as the car took the final incline that led to the royal property that waited inside the hills at the base of the mountain. Ages ago, Drysden Fitzborough had started the construction, but it hadn’t been finished until his son, Basilius, reigned with his bride. It had been the stronghold of the royal monarchy for generations until the last century when my great-grandfather decided the drafty halls were better suited to become a museum to our history and commissioned the modern palace be erected instead. Many criticized him for the choice, but in reality, it brought the monarchy to the people rather than being elevated on the hills looking down on them. From my balcony, I had a clear view, a constant reminder of the responsibility that rested on my shoulders.
“We’re almost there, Sire.” Galen, my driver and Blair’s father, met my stare in the rearview mirror. The title was meant for the king, and he knew that. I noticed more than one of our servants had started giving it to me ahead of Father’s death. Perhaps they knew how much I’d already taken on. I should have corrected him, but I understood what he meant. He was ready to follow me when the time came.
A pang of guilt chewed at my heart as I realized how he probably felt driving me to meet someone other than his daughter. I willed the destination to come a little faster. I wanted to praise him for his daughter’s strength and intelligence, but with a cameraman riding in the seat next to me, it wasn’t the time. And, if I didn’t choose her, was it fair to give him false hope that I would?
The grey stones of the castle came into view, imposing and massive, a symbol of the power and majesty of the crown as it was and as it would always be, God willing. Pressure over my looming decision pressed against my chest, bearing down on me. I had days until the next choosing ceremony, but I still wrestled with my choice. Who, and how many, was not what I wanted on my mind going into this date with Sadie. The cameraman twisted his angle, trying to capture my face, but I turned and looked out the window, giving my full attention to the turrets and towers of the castle instead.
This had become a circus. How was I supposed to find love with cameras recording my every move so that somewhere experts could dissect every twitch of my cheek, twiddle of my thumbs, any sigh that eased from my chest? All of this while trying to find love? Was I mad? Absolutely insane? Christmas loomed closer every day, and beyond that, the New Year’s Ball where I was meant to announce and then marry my new bride. Less than three weeks. Yes, I was clearly out of my mind.
But I had no other options.
The car slowed to a stop. I leaned forward to get a better view of where we were. The massive archaic doors loomed outside my window, but through the front windshield, I spotted another car, likely the one that had brought Sadie. Thanking Galen quickly, I stepped from my vehicle, too anxious to wait for him to get the door. Sadie had hardly said more than eight words to me during the entire competition. She’d pledged her mind to me with ancient rites, but in truth, I barely knew her. The attraction was there, but the human connection had never been made.
“Your Highness,” Tom’s voice caught my attention, calling me toward the set they’d created with lights and cameras trained on a specific spot. The weather refused to cooperate with his scene, hence the lighting. Grey clouds did nothing for the fa?ade of romance they were eager to create. This whole process had left me jaded with the concept myself. If they could manufacture romance through manipulation, how could I trust my own instincts?
Clearly, they wanted to record this as more of a spectacle than I’d ever planned. On days when nothing made sense and I doubted my abilities to rule, I would come to the castle and walk the halls, drawing on the strength of those who had come before me. In my eyes, their perspective remained true and unclouded, somehow far less muddled than the world I lived in. I often imagined what it would be like to stand in the tower, see the approaching armies coming to conquer, and issuing the command to safeguard my people. These days, the threats were a different animal entirely. Domestic terrorism, infighting, cyber wars; it all left me longing for the glint of the sun reflecting off an enemy’s armor instead.
“You’ll stand here,” Tom started in on his directions without so much as a proper greeting. “Sadie will exit her vehicle. We will be trained on your face, so try to give us something to work with. We haven’t had too much footage of the two of you together and the predictive chatter is somewhere between disaster and disgrace.” His eyebrow lifted a quarter-inch to drive his point home. “If you could prove them wrong, the ratings will be phenomenal.”
I couldn’t speak for a moment. Too befuddled that he would ask that of me. This was supposed to be my chance to find love and he was essentially asking me to not only deceive my people, but the world, and more importantly, Sadie. Thankfully, Tom didn’t wait for my answer, which was for the best, since quitting the whole competition perched on the tip of my tongue.
The footmen saw Tom’s cue and hurried to open the door for Sadie. I shook my head, feeling too much like a trapped animal. What would we talk about for the next three hours? I could only mention the weather so many times. My heart pounded with panic. This had all become too much. Father was failing fast and I had a country to run, with or without him, and I didn’t have time for—
She emerged from the car, a vision in soft blue fabric draped around her frame as if she were Athena reincarnated. Her head ducked, timid, as she took steps toward me. Playful slips in the arms displayed peeks of skin covered by the sheer chiffon. Now and then, the slit in the front would betray a glimpse of her slender and elegant legs as she strode toward me. My palm covered my heart, feeling too much like I’d been struck, quite literally, by her beauty. Where she normally had her hair in a braid or tied back off her neck, the dark-chocolate locks hung smartly over her shoulders in tender curls. When she finally looked up and met my gaze, I swallowed back the gasp at the transformation in her loveliness. It wasn’t that her face looked any different, but her handmaid must have taken great care to elevate all her features that made her naturally beautiful. From her round, dark doe eyes, to her high cheekbones and full and supple lips, even her lashes, while always longer and darker than most, added to the mysterious allure that bespelled her.
She sank low, a curtsy that showed not only her dedication to the crown but hinted at a deeper admiration for me. I held my breath, at a loss for words over the transformation she’d taken. Yes, she’d been beautiful at the choosing ceremonies before, but something new had sparked to life in her today. Something I found impossible to ignore.
“Lady Sadira, arise.” My hand took hers, lifting her back to her full height. “You have simply entranced me. I find myself speechless at your beauty.”
“All praise is due to those who helped me, Sire.”
Like Galen, she used my father’s title. I glanced away, overcome by the emotions that ravaged me for a split second. Again, I knew my place was to correct her to use Your Highness, but for a moment, I allowed the whole kingdom to view me as their king. Within less than three weeks, I likely would be.
And would it be Sadie at my side when I was?
“Then tell me who to praise,” I held her hand higher and stepped back as though to admire their work, “because they have truly outdone themselves with highlighting your best traits.”
Her dark eyes shifted away for a moment, reticent to answer. “It is Lady Michaela’s dress, Your Highness. She helped me prepare this morning.”
I faltered at her name. The pang of everything that had happened still too sharp to swallow. I forced a smile onto my face. “She is a woman of many talents, but even the painter is only as good as the canvas.” I stepped closer again, relishing the way my nearness stole a breath from her. “And you’re more beautiful than any work of art I have ever set my sights on.”
Behind her, I heard the rustle of Tom and his underlings, making plans, talking about editing. The line would likely run in every promo before the episode aired. But I found myself questioning my motivation.
Had I said it because I meant it, because I knew the kingdom would love it, or because I had become desperate to erase the feelings I felt for the one I couldn’t have?
Michaela
With Fitz gone for most of the day, the rest of us had very little to do. No one wanted to talk, not even for the sake of gossip. Dagny had taken to trying to find some rope, determined to see if she could scale the walls in the entryway, bottom floor to third. Chantal got into it early on with Gwen, and the two of them had retreated to their corners to lick their wounds. Esme had found a book and a sunny window, and Blair had received permission to go home for the day to check on her ailing mother, leaving me alone and bored out of my mind.
I thought about calling Mom, but it was the middle of the night back home. Instead, I wandered the halls, faintly aware of Kabir’s footsteps behind me. He didn’t crowd, but he also didn’t leave me to my own desires. At least I knew if I started down the wrong hallway, he would stop me before an international incident broke out.
My footsteps echoed as I entered the entryway. Dagny stood in a pool of rope, fashioning a lasso of sorts while she occasionally eyed a gargoyle that glowered from the third-floor railing. I hesitated, worried I had an obligation to stop her before she did something foolish. But, in all honesty, if the queen found the two of us with rope, I was the one who would be punished. The safer plan was to put distance between myself and the unusual friend of the monarchy.
I pushed through the nearest door and stopped short. Of course, it was the ballroom where the choosing ceremonies took place. I’d walked through the doors more times than I had any other door in the kingdom, but the stark difference of the empty hall, void of cameras, people, and the fanfare that followed a choosing, left me off-balance. My steps echoed as I moved through the open space. The door opened behind me as Kabir stepped inside.
Raising a hand, I assured him I was safe. “Can I stay in here a moment? Just to clear my head?”
“Yes, milady. I’ll be outside.” He frowned and shot a look over his shoulder at the happenings in the entryway. “I might have my hands full if she can secure that gargoyle.”
My bodyguard eased the door shut behind him and I let out a slow breath, relishing a little alone time. In reality, between lady’s maids and other competitors and, of course, Kabir, my time to think was mostly at night, and by then I was exhausted.
I’d been informed by the others that the Christmas Eve Ball would be held in the ballroom. They were all at each other’s throats over whether they would be allowed to attend. That was what had spurred the argument between Chantal and Gwen. Apparently, it was the elite ball of the season, only second to the New Year’s Ball that would decide their fates.
Not mine. Maybe for a hot minute Fitz had thought of me that way, but after the day at the hospital, I doubted it anymore.
Still, what would it be like to attend a real ball in a real palace? I wouldn’t be around for the final announcement, so the Christmas Eve Ball was my only chance to enjoy it. Maybe Fitz would save one dance for me. I closed my eyes and imagined the ballroom alive with royal dignitaries and lords and ladies. Fitz’s imaginary arms wrapped around my waist as he launched us into a sweeping waltz pattern. The swell of the music propelled us onward, even if it was only in my mind. I had a ball gown left that I hadn’t had a chance to wear. The skirts would flare and swirl as he whipped me all over the dance floor. People would watch and wonder who was dancing so beautifully with the prince. Maybe it would change their minds. Maybe he would choos—
“If you arch your back more, you’ll achieve a better frame.”
Bishop’s voice jarred me from my thoughts, driving my heart into a dead sprint. I squawked and stumbled backward. “Where did you come from? Are you following me?”
He rose from his seat in the window on the farthest side. “Hardly, milady. I was here when you entered, I assure you. Both you and your guard dog managed to miss me.”
“Ha.” I scoffed at the thought. “I think you’re a stalker. You keep following me around and acting like you’re just there by accident but you—“
“I’m sorry you keep stumbling into my world, milady.” Bishop spoke over me. “Perhaps you can give me an itinerary of your wanderings and I will vacate myself from the immediate vicinity.” He cocked an eyebrow. “After all, what would your prince say to find us together again?”
“Oh, no.” I started for the door, a call for Kabir on the edge of my lips. “You got me in so much trouble last time.”
“Oh, come now,” Bishop jogged to try to catch up, “it couldn’t have been that big of a row, not with your status in the competition.
“It was.” I whirled back to face him. “I nearly lost my friend.”
He stopped, but a grin shifted into place that made me wonder if he ever took anything seriously. “But that wasn’t what bothered you, was it?” When my brow furrowed, he pressed on. “No, you were worried about losing your chance with him, yes?”
My stupid face must have confirmed it because his grin doubled with all the triumph of a small child who’d won a prize. Still, I attempted to deny it.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” I drew in a short breath for a little courage. “You’re nothing but a troublemaker, rushing around starting fires, and then leaving before anyone can tie it to you.”
His palm covered his heart like I’d praised him. “You noticed. That’s so sweet.”
“You’re an imp.” I poked his chest. “A scallywag.” I stepped toward him and poked him again. “A—“
“A goblin with malintent ninety percent of the time.” His arm encircled my waist and pulled me against him, stealing my breath away. “And yet,” his gaze traveled around my face, carefully watching my emotions, “this time, I find myself with only the best of goals, I swear.”
Using the heels of my palms, I pushed myself free. Bishop put up no fight and raised his hands as if to claim innocence.
“Not again, Bishop. I’m not falling for your tricks. Fitz is my friend and—“
“You love him,” Bishop finished for me. My face betrayed my shock, eyes wide and stare accusatory, but he laughed as though I’d confirmed his wager in this bet. “I knew it from the first moment I set eyes on you! You love him.”
“He’s my best friend, of course I love him. Don’t be an idiot.”
“That’s not what I mean and you know it.” His eyes narrowed. “You wouldn’t have resisted me unless you had feelings for—“
“Oh, because you’re so irresistible?” I scoffed at the thought. “Like no woman could ever turn down a chance to be with you? “
He pulled a face. “I’d have to run the numbers, but have to say statistics of past ventures are in my favor. Most women fall over themselves to get to me and I really—“
“Do you ever stop talking?” Everything about him exasperated me. “It doesn’t matter anyway, does it? I can’t be with Fitz. Why should I even consider it when everything in the past has led to heartache and destruction?”
“Because,” Bishop’s arrogant features softened, “I’m going to help you get him.”
I stared, probably longer than I should have, but honestly, did he actually say that?
“How could you—What are—Why would…?”
Bishop pursed his lips, annoyed. “You have to pick at least one question and follow it through or there is no hope of a real conversation here.”
I skipped questions entirely and went straight to demands. “Explain yourself.”
Like a teenager, he rolled his eyes and turned away from me. “I have known Leonidas his whole life. I am, after all, older than he is, even if it’s less than a year. I have a duty to make sure he doesn’t destroy his future under the restraint of his impending rule.”
“You’re trying to convince me you have his best interests at heart?”
“Please,” Bishop held up his palm without turning to face me, “no questions from the gallery until I conclude my tale.”
It was my turn to roll my eyes. His pride knew no bounds.
“I heard of you for the first time when Leo came back from his adventure in America. He wouldn’t be still. Coco this and Coco that, like a train he barreled on until his parents forbade your name, in any form, be mentioned inside the palace walls. But he never stopped, did he?” He didn’t wait for me to answer. “When I learned of this ludicrous competition, I knew he would find a way to make you a part of it. But I also knew he would never have the courage to blur the lines in your relationship. So, I took matters into my own hands and applied pressure for him to act.”
“Wait,” I ignored his rule and interrupted him, “you only flirted with me to make him jealous?”
“Worked, didn’t it?” Bishop shook his head. “The second I expressed interest in the American he claimed he didn’t want, he stopped denying his feelings and acted.”
Like he’d dumped a thousand-piece puzzle at my feet, I struggled with how to put it together. “So, you and me, that was—“
“Fun,” he finished for me. “As a mark, I’m not complaining. If not for my cousin, things could be different, but even I have standards. I won’t steal a heart that belongs to someone else.”
“But how can we… It makes no sense.” I couldn’t even begin to explain my exasperation with the whole situation. “We don’t work, not if he plans to take the throne, and I can’t ask him to abandon that. It’s been his mission since he was a little boy.”
“Let me worry about that.” Bishop finally turned around. “Your focus needs to be elsewhere.”
“Like what?”
“For starters, stop helping your competition. I saw little Sadie leave this morning looking like a supermodel. You really think he’s going to resist her?” Bishop raked his nails through his hair and shook his head. “Ludicrous at best, the way you set yourself up to fail. Second, stop writing yourself off. I will be the first to tell you, that despite setbacks, you are leading the pack; we just have to make him face it.”
“And how do we do that?”
Bishop’s grin slipped into place again, like a key in a lock. “We teach you to be a real Nolcovian lady.”