30. Chapter 30
Fitz
S urprisingly, the time passed rather easily. When the catering crew didn’t arrive with the food, Sadie went to work, creating something stellar from the ingredients on hand in a kitchen created in the Middle Ages. With few tools, she made magic, creating a meal for not only me, but all of the crew on site. We wandered the halls after lunch, discussing the country and the perils that had befallen Nolcovia in past years. I found myself astounded with her knowledge of our country, better educated than most nobles.
The poor weather kept us inside, but Sadie never complained. We entered the library in the west wing, a lone cameraman in tow no matter what we did. Her long fingers trailed over the ancient texts, reverent in every touch. She loved this country like I did, something I found incredibly attractive. As she surveyed the rest of the books, I traveled to the far side and shoved back the drapery, shedding late afternoon light on the room.
Pink and orange hues painted the heavy clouds as the sun began its descent. Her breathless wonder swelled in my heart as she took in the view. Everything was new with her, and vicariously I lived the moments with her. I couldn’t explain what her innocence and curiosity did to me, unwinding my inhibitions as I eagerly showed her more of my world. I gripped the cloth that covered the mass at the center of the room and tore it back, releasing a cloud of dust into the air. I coughed hard, immediately regretting the extra flair I’d put into the effort. But as it settled, the grand piano waited, perfectly pristine and untouched.
Her interest peaked again. “Do you play?”
“Some,” I admitted. “Not as much as my mother wanted.”
“Will you play for me?”
How could I resist a such a sweet request?
“As you wish, milady.” I slipped across the bench and pushed back the cover from the keys. Sadie ran her fingers over the lid, gaze expectant as she watched me prepare. For the first time in my life, I regretted not taking my lessons more seriously.
I set my hands on the keys and went through one of the simpler tunes from my childhood. It wasn’t bad by any means, but it wasn’t nearly as impressive as I would have hoped. Slightly clumsy in a few places, I pursed my lips at the end, wishing I kept the cover in place after all.
“Well done, Your Highness.” She gave a gentle applause that was entirely endearing and not patronizing like I deserved.
“Clearly, I’m out of practice. I just embarrassed myself for the whole kingdom to see.”
Her left shoulder lifted slightly, pulling through one of the gaps in her dress to display the bareness of her skin. “If your competence was reliant on your abilities to play the piano, we would be in trouble, but you have shown more than once that you are ready to rule, Your Highness.”
“Please,” I reached for her hand to urge her closer, “call me Leo. The formality exhausts me.”
She bowed her head and gave a quick curtsy before executing my command. “As you wish… Leo.” Her gaze shifted to the keys. “Do you mind if I try?”
“Please.” I dropped my grip on her hand and made space on the bench. “I didn’t know you could play.”
“Some,” she copied what I’d said before. Sadie slid in beside me, closer than I expected but the bench didn’t leave much room for personal space. As her fingers touched the keys, something magical happened. Instead of music, the notes became a story so intricate and moving, I found myself willing the melody to continue forever. She transformed, sinking into the song, transfixed in the rhythm, captured as if it held her in its grasp, unwilling to relent until she fulfilled the breadth of its design. Barely skimming the keys, her fingers moved as if they had a life and will of their own. The sheet music existed only in her mind, obviously memorized years before in hours of practice, and yet didn’t brag of it ever. As the music slowly wound to its conclusion, I once again found myself entranced by her. The final notes finally released their grip on her as her fingers slipped from the keys and tangled in her lap, once again the timid woman who rarely met my gaze.
Words didn’t come easily at first, completely inferior to the music she’d made. After a moment of silence, I finally whispered, “I had no idea you played the piano.”
“It’s been a part of me since I was young,” she answered without looking up from her hands. I ached to look into her eyes, to learn what other secrets she had hidden away. While we’d talked occasionally throughout this competition, I found her absolutely delightful in this new light. She was talented, intelligent, witty, and beautiful. Was it terrible that she wasn’t of noble blood?
“I absolutely loved that,” I admitted. “I’m still breathless.”
“I’m pleased you enjoyed it, Your Highness.” Her fingers laced together, as if she worried she might touch something she shouldn’t.
Taking a chance, forgetting the camera that had faded into the background, my palm caught the angle of her jaw and brought her to face me. “Would you play again for me sometime?”
Fear flashed in her eyes, but I didn’t allow her to pull away, not yet. I needed her to know I wasn’t a threat. I would be her safe place if she’d let me. Her features relaxed and warmth showed in her eyes for the first time.
“If it would please you.” She tipped her head to the side as if a thought had occurred to her. “And if you allow me to stay.”
I’d be crazy to send her home. I had to admit, she had more substance in her pinky finger than half the women my parents were pushing for. Bless the random drawing that had brought her into my life.
“Tell me, Sadie. Are you looking for love?” I needed to understand her motivations. Too many had come with the wrong intentions and, since she was from the poorest of provinces, it had to be asked. “Or is this an opportunity for power?”
Faint flickers of anxiety passed over her expression, but she banished them quickly. “You have watched me closely for weeks, Your Highness. I would assume my character would speak for itself.”
“I’m not doubting your character.” Unable to stop myself, my thumb brushed against her chilled cheek. “But I’d like to know why you’re here.”
Her brown eyes locked with mine, confident for the first time. “When the prince calls, Your Highness, a loyal subject answers.”
Duty. My hand fell away from her face as disappointment burned in my chest.
It wasn’t the most romantic answer, but it merely meant I had some work ahead of me. Cautiously, I took her fingers to lift her knuckles to my lips. Pressing a kiss there, I whispered, “Then I suppose I should try harder to help you see the upside to this predicament we’re in.”
She didn’t pull away. I eased closer. Her body tensed, but she dropped her gaze to my mouth and sucked in a short breath. It wasn’t exactly permission. Why did it feel like she was still debating my worth? I found myself searching her face, trying to understand this sphinx of a woman.
And then… she leaned closer. Our lips brushed once, then twice. Tingles ran up my spine as she returned the affection, perhaps even more fervent in her intention than I was. I didn’t expect such passion from one so small and timid, and yet on instinct, I felt as though I’d only caught a glimpse of the real woman beneath it all. I broke the kiss early, all too aware of the camera lenses trained on us. As her eyes fluttered open, I saw her silent request not to talk about what had happened. Michaela had mentioned Sadie’s lost love, and I couldn’t imagine the turmoil our kiss might have caused. Better to let her process it in her own time. “Tell me about home.” I leaned back, giving her some space. “I haven’t visited Eshein Province often enough.”
“No one does. We’re often separate from the rest of the country,” she answered wistfully. “But we make our own culture. Our own celebrations.” Considering the Christmas Eve Ball was less than a week away, I found myself intrigued. “Like what? Tell me.”
“Well, for instance, while you have the Christmas Eve Ball here in the capital,” her face brightened as she thought of past memories, “we have a festival in Eshein, complete with performers, a maypole, and food. E veryone comes, not just the nobles.”
Like a dagger twisting in my heart, I felt for a moment how the royal celebration at the capital looked from the outside. For years, I’d assumed, rather naively, that it didn’t matter. It’d always been done this way, and no one was ever hurt by it. But as I listened to her speak of children laughing and playing, fire eaters dazzling the townspeople, and the general thrill of the event, I couldn’t help my own jealousy. Everyone was together. One province, one people. That was what I wanted. If she knew how to find that kind of unity, I’d be a fool not to ask for her help.
“Sadie,” I hoped she didn’t mind that I wanted to use her informal name, “if I wanted to make some changes to the ball, would you help me?”
“Changes?” She shook her head. “I don’t understand.”
“For instance, what if it wasn’t nobles who were invited, or at least, not only nobles.” I felt excitement rise in my chest, knowing my words would be recorded. Mother would have to censor the film if she planned to make me take it back. “What if all of Nolcovia were invited?”
“To the palace?”
I grinned. “Why not?”
Michaela
“If you step on my toes again, I’m going to abandon this whole project, you understand?” Bishop’s tone had reached new levels of exasperation. “Chin up, Lady Coco. The more you look at your feet, the worse you’ll perform.”
“This is only the waltz. How on earth am I going to do all the other dances you mentioned? The Flitterquake and the Nazzle Reel?” Worry did nothing to help me remember the count. I stepped on his foot again and Bishop yelped.
“Blimey, woman! You’re tiny, but you have the stomp of an elephant.” He released my waist and stalked toward the window, where his phone played music.
“I’m not trying to.” I groaned. “Are the other dances any easier?”
“It’s monkey see, monkey do. Not quite the how-to version like your American Cupid’s Shuffle, but if you watch the others, you’ll pick them up.” He silenced the music and waved me off. “My feet will be flat if we try more today. Maybe another time.”
Our chemistry from the past had faded in light of his frustration. Bishop took dancing way too seriously and I was not a quick study. It seemed my lack of skill and rhythm eroded all his attraction. In other words, not being able to dance was a dealbreaker for him.
I was still skeptical over his plan to make me into a real Nolcovian lady of court anyway. What good would it do? I could walk, dance, speak, and act just right, but underneath it all, I was a poor American girl from a tiny town in the middle of nowhere. But Bishop persisted anyway.
Which begged the question, why? What did he have to gain from this arrangement?
“We’ll try something new.” His palm rubbed over his mouth as if he could wipe away the disappointment over my failure. Not likely . “We have ritual pledges. You need to know them, if for nothing else than to identify one when you see it.”
That sparked something in my memory. “Is that the devotion brain thing Sadie did for Fitz?”
He shot me a look as if to convey all the annoyance he felt for my blundering of the name. “It’s called,” he inhaled slowly through his teeth, “Devotion of the Mind. You pledge your thoughts to someone else.”
“Seems a bit much.” I shook my head. “How on earth can you promise that? I mean, my thoughts are like squirrels on a sugar high.”
“Yes,” he cocked an eyebrow, “it shows.” Clearing his throat, he tried to explain further. “It merely means that the pledger is promising to keep the person at the front of their thoughts at all times. In ancient times, it was a sign used to grant permission to begin courting.”
“Oh.” My stomach sank as I connected the dots. Sadie had not only made the promise, but she’d tapped into something deeply cultural to Fitz.
And they were alone together.
All day. In a castle.
In a very romantic rainstorm that hadn’t let up for hours.
And I made her look like an angel.
Great.
“I see you’re catching up.” Bishop laughed to himself. “Now you understand why you need my help.” He motioned for me to come closer. “Let’s crack on. We have two others that you won’t need because they are passed between soldiers. The Imbuement of Mortal Courage.” Bishop made a fist and crossed it against his chest as he dropped to his knee. Head tilted toward the floor, he said, “And the Conjuration of Divine Fury, but,” his head tilted back up, one eye squinted, “it requires a sword and cleric, and I’m afraid I’m out of both.”
He had to be kidding, and yet, his expression remained serious which was unusual for him. He rose to his feet again, rubbing his palm over his mouth. “The Dishonor of the Arcane is completed by crossing both wrists at the heart center,” he made an X with his arms over his heart, “and then breaking them apart with force and fury, as though to dispel evil spirits on behalf of the ones you love.”
“And that’s common around here?” I asked slowly, unable to hide my skepticism.
“Evil spirits, sure, but usually they’re merely members of the royal court, not demons, and last I checked, this doesn’t work on mortals, so it’s more for ceremony than reality.” He grinned. “As a child, I was determined my uncle, the king, was possessed so I trailed after him for an entire summer repeating the motion over and over to no avail.”
“Why would you do that?” I tried to imagine a small child running after the king trying to cast out evil spirits, but it only left me laughing at the thought. To anyone who knew ASL, he would have looked like he was signing love over and over again. Though, perhaps with a little more force than normal.
“He was acting… strangely. Erratic. A bit like he is now, I suppose.” Bishop became lost in thought. “I’ve wanted to find a reason for his behavior, his sickness. I guess I’m still that child who refuses to believe the king could become ill.” Bishop shook off his somber mood. “The Consecration of Light is bestowed on new mothers by their grandmothers by touching her fingers to her forehead and then swiping them in an arc over her granddaughter’s forehead and then mouth, creating light for her mind and sunshine for her words.”
“That’s pretty. Do they still do that?”
He nodded. “It’s one of the few rituals that has remained in full practice. Which brings us to the most obscure of them all.” He reached for my hand. “Devotion of the Heart.”
I didn’t give my hand so easily, fearing a trap. For all I knew, it was some secret Nolcovian wedding tradition and was the equivalent to waking up in Vegas with a new last name. Sorry, no. I didn’t plan on making my life into a country song.
“Give me your hand,” Bishop instructed. “I swear, it’s innocent and I mean no pledge.”
My hand slipped into his and he sank to his knee in front of me. Eyes wide, I watched him bow forward. The angle of his grip changed as he pulled our joined grip closer to his chest. Much like when Sadie had brought her and Fitz’s hands to her forehead, Bishop pressed our hands against his chest and then rose to his feet. With a slow nod, he said, “If I meant it, I’d be giving you my heart, my loyalty, and my love. It’s not something Nolcovians take lightly.” He dropped my hand. “Not even me. And certainly not my cousin.”
My mind flashed back to that moment when I had asked Fitz to teach me all of these rituals. He’d stiffened as if I’d asked too much of him. I’d assumed I’d crossed some cultural divide, but maybe it was more than that. It was easy enough for Bishop to walk me through it when he didn’t have feelings for me, but if Fitz was more clouded, maybe something like this would make it all too real?
“And the final one?” Fitz told me there were seven. I’d only counted six so far. “What does that look like?”
Bishop straightened, face serious. “It’s the most sacred and not to be used without real feeling and commitment.”
“So, you can’t show me?”
“I can show you, but you must swear to take it seriously.”
It wasn’t like I’d mocked anything yet. “Of course.”
He watched me for a moment, mouth tight, dark eyes narrowed and looking too much like Fitz when he suspected I was up to something. Finally, Bishop relented.
“The final ritual pledge is the Eternal Kiss; it’s also called the Devotion of the Soul.” He reached for my hand again. This time I gave it without hesitation. “You do it by bowing,” Bishop sank on one knee, “then touching their hand to your forehead,” the back of my hand grazed his skin, “your chest,” the warmth of his chest glowed against my hand, “and then your lips.” He pressed a gentle kiss to the top of my knuckles before he stared up at me. “The difference here is that the gift can be accepted or rejected.”
“What do you mean?”
“If,” his tongue ran over his bottom lip as if to wet it, “you accept it… that is, if you accept him offering you his mind, body, and soul as gifts to be yours for eternity, you seal it with a kiss to his lips.” The air crackled with anticipation. “If you do not, then you remove your hand from his grip and the ritual is unfinished.”
“That’s cold.”
“That’s love,” he corrected me. Our hands broke apart as he dropped his grip, severing the connection between us. “It’s either there or it’s not.”
The bitter edge in his voice hinted at personal experience with all of this. Was there a reason Bishop wasn’t looking for commitment? Who hurt him in the past?
“We should run through the Nazzle Reel dance, though we need at least twenty people, so you’ll need to pretend a bit.” He brushed off whatever ghosts had returned to plague him. “Center of the room, here.” He tapped the floor with his foot. “Arm up above your head.” He raised an arm to display what I should do, but promptly dropped it to his side. “You don’t get easily discombobulated, do you? Dizzy, I mean?”
“Not really,” I found myself hesitant to answer, unsure, as usual, of what would come next.
“Splendid.” His arm went overhead again. “Basically, you’re constantly turning. Here in the center, the womenfolk make a maypole of sorts, arms up together, and the men sweep them away by their waists. If a man is pleased with his choice, he will guard you, but it’s not uncommon for another man to sweep in and steal you away.” He chuckled to himself. “It’s all a bit of fun. Like a ball match, but with beautiful women.”
What kind of backwards dance was this?
Nevertheless, I raised my arm overhead and started in a circle as Bishop left to start the music. Flutes started the tune first, quickly joined by a spritely fiddle and pounding drums. If I had to place it, it sounded Irish to me, but different, more flutes and pipes. Each beat put a skip in my step as I turned in a circle.
“Faster,” Bishop instructed. “And you’re supposed to have your eyes closed. Love can’t find you if you’re watching.”
I rolled my eyes before I closed them. I still didn’t get what he meant when he said a man would sweep me away by my waist. Close as I could tell, he was videotaping me doing a spinning jig and he would upload it to YouTube with the caption: Dumb American falls for prank and spins until she pukes.
Strength captured my waist, using the momentum of my turn to whirl me away from where I’d been. Laughter burbled in my chest, but as I opened my eyes, Bishop was quick to remind me, “Eyes closed. When the music stops, you’re supposed to end up with the love of your life. If you’re peeking, it won’t work.”
The door clicked behind us. Kabir had come to find me, and I didn’t blame him. I waited for him to interrupt, but he stayed quiet. Maybe this was a tradition he could respect, despite my dance partner.
“The only problem, Bishop, is you’re the only one here, so this dance is kind of rigged.”
He tightened the spin, creating momentum as we turned. “Do you want to become a Nolcovian lady or not?”
I started to answer, but someone else pulled me from Bishop’s grasp and spun us in the opposite direction. I laughed as my head grew light. How long was the song? Once more, I transferred arms and directions. Then back again.
“You plan to keep it up all day, Cousin?” Bishop’s voice echoed in my ear, but I kept my eyes closed. The music’s tempo increased as did the tightness of our turns. A hand slid over my stomach, stealing me away from Bishop, right before I heard his voice.
“As long as it takes,” Fitz replied as his arm led me in the opposite direction. “I know the rules.” I felt Bishop try to steal me back, but Fitz moved us easily out of his reach as the music wound down to the final moments. As the last notes played in the hearty jig, my partner brought us to a stop, both hands on my waist as the world spun. Even without opening my eyes, or without hearing his voice, I knew it was Fitz by the shape of him, the smell of him, the way my body reacted with him close. On fire, but completely still and at peace, because he felt like coming home every time he held me.
“Go on then,” Bishop prompted from a distance, “open your eyes and see your love.”
I did as instructed, though I didn’t see Fitz. Well, I didn’t see just one Fitz. More like three blurred Fitzs still spinning.
“Hello, Your Highness.” I blinked and tried to focus him into one person. “I didn’t expect you.”
“I saw Kabir and I wagered that…” Fitz’s voice trailed off as his eyes twitched with suspicion. He released his hands from my waist and stepped back. “What’s going on in here?”
“A little cultural education,” Bishop offered with his usual dash of ill-timed charisma as he moved between us. “I thought I would help our exchange student understand a few of our traditions.”
Fitz’s eyes ventured to mine. “You could have asked me if you were interested.”
Bishop didn’t allow me a chance to explain. “Clearly, you’re positively swamped , Cousin. I’m always happy to run to your aid. Fill in where you’re needed, as it were.”
The muscles in Fitz’s jaw clenched at his words, which only delighted Bishop more. I took the moment to try to smooth things over.
“It’s nothing, Fitz.” I stepped in front of Bishop. “He was worried I would screw up the dancing at the ball, make a fool of myself, and disgrace the whole country in the process.”
Fitz’s face softened at the explanation. “You never have been one to keep rhythm, have you?”
“I don’t even have two left feet. I have no dancing feet.”
A smile hid behind his eyes, like the sun playing peekaboo behind dark clouds. “I suppose I’ll have to save a dance for you then, yes? A test of my cousin’s tutelage.”
Bishop groaned, breaking the spell between us. “It’s simply not fair to judge my abilities against her lack of skill. She’s practically hopeless.”
Fitz nodded as if it wasn’t news to him. “I know, and yet she always pulls through despite everything against her, doesn’t she?” The feeling between us sparked even more, flickering back to life. Before my moment with Bishop, I might have shoved it away, but after his advice to stand out as competition, I let it burn. If there was even a chance we could find a way…
“How was your date?” Bishop’s words not only broke the spell between us, but he physically jarred Fitz. The prince reversed a couple of steps, unable to meet my eyes.
“Uh—fine. Great, really. She’s… erm… she’s special.” He pointed at Bishop. “In fact, there’s a matter you could help with, if you’re willing?”
“What’s that, then?” Bishop straightened his vest as if preparing for battle.
“Mother. I need to talk with her about changes to the ball.” Fitz shifted, displaying his obvious discomfort with the idea of confronting the queen. “I thought you might lend your… progressive thinking and impeccable sarcasm to break the tension where needed.”
Bishop bowed, dramatically tilting forward, arms out to either side, more a mockery than a sign of respect. “At your service, my liege.” He rose, grinning wickedly, and tipped an imaginary hat at me. “Until next time, milady.”
Fitz held the door for him, Kabir clearly waiting on the other side. As Bishop exited, my bodyguard’s eyes widened with disbelief. Clearly, he didn’t approve of his charge being alone with the prince’s wildcard of a cousin.
Visibly shaken by something, Fitz waited until I met his stare to speak. “I’ll reach out. We’ll talk. Later?”
I nodded, eager to clear the air with him. Though we’d mended some of our relationship, I hated the tension that continued to weasel its way in. Too many words were being left unspoken. And something had happened with Sadie.
Something he wasn’t eager to share with me.
Maybe it was too late.
Maybe I’d already lost him.