Chapter 18 #2
Once the image had been uploaded, I shoved my phone in my purse. The night was about life, but I couldn’t forget my love. It was in shambles.
Up on my feet, I pulled Roulette closer. Both of our hands went in the air. She bent over, exposing parts of her that belonged to Israel. She hardly cared. Neither did he. She wasn’t a fool.
“I got a ass so big like the sun–” we sang in unison. “Hope you got a mile for a dick, I wanna run.”
Roulette dropped to the floor, slowly pulling her body up.
“Slap it in my face. Shove it down my throat!”
I leaned over, placing a hand around the back of her neck.
“Nigga where your blunt? I can make this pussy smoke.”
“I know how to fuck. I know how to ride!” Rather yelled over the music.
“I can spin around and keep the dick still inside,” I followed up with.
In unison, we matched Trina’s flow, not missing a syllable.
A black tray landed on the table. The drinks we’d ordered when the shots were delivered had finally come.
“Here, babe.” I handed Roulette her drink.
“Rome.”
She’d requested a margarita. I was almost certain she wouldn’t finish it. She’d sip on it for the rest of the night.
“Tiana.”
Without a doubt, she’d put her martini down and work on half of another round. August was waiting, and from the looks of it, she was ready.
“Range, this is yours, baby.”
The rest of the drinks had already been taken by their rightful owners. I wrapped a napkin around the lemon drop I’d settled on. I didn’t want to wake up hungover from mixing liquor.
“Got one baby mama. No bitch. No wife. Like Pac, you need a thug in your life,” I rapped along with Jeezy, swaying my hips and rolling my body.
As the liquid slid down my throat, I released my inhibitions, promising to make the best of the night. I’d face my troubles in the morning.
I’d lost track of time. I’d lost track of how many drinks I’d had. I’d lost track of the shots I tossed back. I’d lost track of myself.
We’d reached the R&B set. With a nearly empty cup, I tried keeping my balance.
“I have to go to the restroom,” Range revealed.
“Once you break your seal–” I reminded her.
“I know.”
“We won’t be much longer. If you feel like you can’t hold it, then we can go now.”
She shook her head.
“I can wait.”
“Let me know if you change your mind. I’ll go with you.”
“Okay.”
Tiana’s hand went around my shoulders as she sang.
“Loooooooooove.”
The tune changed just as she was beginning to feel herself.
“You say you’re searching for a nigga that’ll take you out and do you right,” Usher’s voice came over the loud speakers.
“Well, come here baby, and let daddy show you what it feels like.”
My hands were in the air again. My body twirled. I lowered my head, placing both hands on my thighs.
As Usher promised a good time, I was reminded of my good time. With my eyes closed, I moved in sync with the music. I felt everything and nothing at once.
My body dropped, nearing the floor. Without haste, I grinded my way back up. Legs spread, ass in the air, I swirled my hips.
A hardness pressed against me. Familiarity surrounded me. Rigidness comforted me.
Myrrh. It humbled me.
“Let’s go, Royce, before I lay out every nigga in this bitch,” Ishmael growled.
His fingers gripped the back of my neck, lifting my body and straightening my spine.
“What the fuck do you have on?” He questioned.
“Clothes,” I spat.
“Don’t make me set this motherfucker ablaze.”
“I didn’t think you had fingers or a fucking voice or legs–”
“I got a dick and that motherfucker hard, so let’s go.”
I turned, heading in the opposite direction. The grip he’d loosened, he regained in a millisecond. Pulling me into his chest.
Roulette moved her head from side to side, snapping her finger. I pushed my tongue out of my mouth, allowing the smirk to widen my face momentarily. Ishmael’s anger was exhilarating. So was his presence. And his hand around my neck. And his lack of patience. And his hard dick.
His lips touched my ear. I could smell the mint on his breath. He was sober.
“You don’t run shit, Royce. Either walk out of this bitch like you have some sense or I’m putting you over my shoulder and shooting every nigga who dares to look in your direction.”
“You won’t have enough bullets.”
“It’s enough motherfuckers with enough guns around us. I won’t run out of bullets before this club runs out of niggas.”
I loved hearing him speak.
“I–”
“Shut up.”
He pushed me forward. Range’s chuckles reminded me of the tab we’d run through. Everybody was intoxicated.
I lifted my brows and hands by my shoulders, bouncing them as Ishmael led me toward the door. He removed the glass from my hand and placed it on the table.
“Get them to the house,” he demanded, pointing to August and Koen.
“Suck that dick tonight, sis. I know I am. One band, one sound!” Roulette yelled.
“One band, one sound,” I repeated.
The chill of the night grabbed me by the arms as we exited. Ishmael’s hoodie slid down my body. He leaned down and swooped me into his arms. It wasn’t until I wasn’t on my feet that I realized how much they hurt.
Our journey to the car wasn’t long. The unfamiliar set of wheels was right outside of the establishment. The engine was still running. Ishmael lowered me into the seat and closed the door behind me. He was in the driver’s seat within seconds. And we were off the parking lot seconds later.
The silence was agonizing.
His beauty was enthralling.
I was utterly and shamelessly obsessed.
I watched him collect himself. Collect his thoughts. Meanwhile, I was falling apart.
“Ish.”
Silence.
“Ishmael.”
Silence.
“Did you come all this way not to talk to me?”
Silence.
I didn’t want to fight. I wanted to talk. I wanted to apologize. Make things right between us.
“I came all this way because I love you, Royce. And, no matter how fucking pissed I am, I can’t stand the thought of another day without you.
I came all of this way because my heart left me no choice.
I am a fool in love. I don’t care what you have to say.
Neither do I care to hear it tonight. Just sit back.
Try not to puke all over this car. And, save your explanation for another day. ”
“It doesn’t work that way.”
“How does it work? Hm?”
“When situations arise, we handle them.”
“Like you handled the election?”
I nodded. “Yes. Like I handled the election.”
There was no need to avoid the elephant in the car. It wouldn’t vanish because of it.
The wheels came to a screeching halt. Ishmael maneuvered in his seat, pinning his eyes on me.
“We’re in the middle of the street.”
“Do you not believe in me?”
“Ishmael.”
“Do you not believe in me, Royce?”
“Is–”
“Because it seems as if I was sadly mistaken to think you did.”
“I do!” I yelled, feeling my emotions topple over.
“I believe in you. I believe in you so fucking much that I couldn’t bear the thought of Berkeley breaking your heart.
So I took the fall. That’s how much I believe in you.
I believe that you’re better than them all.
Smarter than them all. More qualified than them all.
“But all they saw were your faults. All they saw was the news stations, the blogs, and the papers. They didn’t see you in the field… at your best. It was all overshadowed by the location of your dick at every waking moment. Did I make a difference?
“Yes. And we had a fighting chance, Ishmael. But, then came Asia. It fucked up everything we’d worked hard to undo. It didn’t matter that it was a lie. It didn’t matter once it covered that front page. I knew then we’d lost. We lost!
“Not because I didn’t believe in you, but because they did too.
Daniels did. That’s why he tried his hardest to put you under.
You would’ve swept him without question.
He was playing dirty. You wanted to keep your hands clean.
Those aren’t my hands, Ishmael. When motherfuckers go low, I meet them in hell.
I am a handler. I handle shit. It’s my fucking job.
“You can’t destroy us because you can’t handle what comes with that.
The moment you hired me, your fate was sealed.
I’m not a loser. I do not lose! As long as you’re with me, you will not lose.
It’s unacceptable. I will fix every fucking election you apply to if I have to.
That’s how I operate. If you want it, it’s yours.
“You’re no different. If I want it, no matter what it is, it’s mine.
That’s how we are built. That’s how we will build our family.
And that’s how we will build our legacy.
You’ve made promises. Promises you can’t take back.
Or, I swear to God, you won’t be able to shit out of your own ass.
You don’t get to quit me. I do the quitting.
“Unless you want Janis cleaning your shit bag for the rest of your life, then I suggest you come home. I suggest you accept my apology. I suggest you get it through your skull that I’m for you.
I’m in your corner. I’m not starting over with anyone else, Ishmael.
So be upset. Be pissed. But, be home before the street lights come on or I’m coming to find you. I won’t be empty-handed.”
“You’ve betrayed my trust, my baby.”
“Then punish me. But, not with your silence. You’re killing me, Ishmael.”
“You’re killing me.” He sighed.
“I’m sorry.”
“I just need you to believe in me. Don’t hide shit from me. If that was your plan all along, then you should’ve told me. Instead, you’re hiding shit. Making me think I’ve won this from a fair fight. That couldn’t be the furthest from the truth.
“I feel like a fucking fool. Like I can’t trust you, Royce. I don’t like that feeling. So, spit. I don’t want to be in the dark about shit. If there’s anything you’re hiding, tell me right now. Wipe our slate clean. No more secrets.”
I inhaled.
“Ishmael, please.”
“I’m in no mood, my baby.”
“We’re in the middle of the street.”
“And motherfuckers better move.”
He slammed his hand against the dashboard, cutting on the hazard lights.
“Talk.”