Chapter 18 #3
I shook my head.
“Ish.”
“Talk.”
“Just know that I believe in you. And, if I’ve lost your trust, I will work to regain it.”
“Nah. Tell me what’s on your dome.”
Silently, I ran a hand across my lips.
“I’m listening.”
“Now is not the time.”
“Now is the perfect time.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat.
“Royc–”
“Daniels wired two hundred and fifty dollars to your father’s bank account the day before the images of us released.
It wasn’t a stranger. It wasn’t a random guy.
It was your father. The meeting was nothing more than a set up.
He wasn’t sure how your night would unfold, but he was certain you’d end up on the street where we met. ”
The tires were rolling again. Ishmael listened, taking in the new information.
“He also knew what type of women walked that street. And what kind of transactions were made. The address he gave you was for the building on the next street from where I stood. He’d given you the hotel’s name but the address wasn’t accurate.
“He’s in debt. Gambling debt. Three hundred and twenty-six thousand dollars worth of debt. Daniels’ payment didn’t settle that debt. It lessened it, not settled it. Which means… more than likely…”
“He’s plotting again.”
I nodded.
“And, I can bet my last dollar you’re his victim. Again. He’s playing on your vulnerability. He wanted you to lose. I couldn’t let him win, Ishmael. I couldn’t. He didn’t deserve that victory. When I say that I am for you,” I choked. Tears cascaded down my cheeks.
“I mean it. I mean it, Ish. Maybe my methods are unorthodox. Maybe I don’t go about things the right way. But, don’t even question my loyalty to you. I’m for you. I’ve been for you since the night I met you and I didn’t even know you.
“I only want what’s best for you. Best for us. I’m sorry I wasn’t more transparent. I’m sorry I hid things from you. I’m sorry you had to find out the way you found out. But, I am not sorry for putting you in a position to win. I will do it again and again and again.”
Everything hurt at once.
“I’ve never been so invested in someone. I’ve never been so deeply moved, deeply loved. Or so deep in my feelings. Not like I am with you. The thought of not having you breaks me to pieces. I have so much shit with me, Ishmael, but I am good. I am good for you.”
I couldn’t contain my emotions. I was a blubbering wreck.
“I’m not used to feeling this way. And, I don’t like it. The last two weeks have been hell for me. I hate waking up without you beside me or on my cell. Sleep has been impossible. My world has been flipped upside down.
“I don’t want to fight, Ishmael. I just want you next to me. I don’t want you to walk away. I don’t want to walk away. I’m ready for all that comes with us. We’re not perfect people. Things will arise. But I’m here. I want this. I want you.”
The wheels stopped. I peered up at my home, baffled.
“I don’t want to be here.”
“You have no choice.”
I didn’t care to hear his explanation. I bolted from the car, forgetting I was shoeless.
The struggle to keep my balance was counterproductive. Still, I managed to close the door behind me.
“Bullshit,” I fussed.
“My baby–” Ishmael called out to me.
I pushed forward, determined to reach my door.
“I’m not in the business of begging niggas. Go home, Ishmael.”
“I am home.”
“Fuck you.”
“I was hoping you would, but I need you to make up your mind.”
He pushed my body up against the car.
“One minute you sending cryptic messages on Instagram, telling me to come get you with your location attached, knowing damn well I was getting on the PJ no matter what hour of the day it was. Next you’re trying to escape me.
“Then you’re threatening to put me in a shit bag if I leave you. Crying telling me how much you want to work through our shit and can’t live without me. Now you’re not begging niggas and its fuck me. What you want, my baby?”
He made it hard for me to breathe. He was too close. He felt too good against my body.
“I don’t want to sleep in my bed. I want to sleep in yours.”
“We’re hours away from my bed.”
“Does it look like I give a damn?”
He tilted his head and inhaled deeply.
My phone vibrated in my purse. I stuck my hand inside, removing it. Roulette’s name appeared on the screen. I turned around, not interested in the denial I knew was coming from Ishmael.
“Hello?”
His body pressed against mine. His hands pushed my dress up my body.
“Just making sure you made it home safely, babe.”
“We’re worried!”
“Your man came to get you. I know that’s the fuck right.”
“I–”
Ishmael pulled my thong aside. We were both drenched, my panties and I.
“Put that pussy on him, tonight. Tomorrow is not promised,” Roulette slurred.
“Twin!” Tiana yelled.
He slid into me with ease, forcing both hands against the hood of the car. Its warmth fought against the November chill.
“Fuuuuck.”
I lowered my cell onto the car, ending the call in the process. Ishmael’s body was against mine. He straightened my spine. His lips rested against my ear. His hand snacked up my dress, grabbing ahold of my nipple. He squeezed.
“Uhhhhhh.”
“This what the fuck you been wanting, my baby?”
“Uhhhhhh.”
“This why you acting up?”
He pushed me forward, taking hold of my hair. Stepping back, slightly, he gave our bodies the room they required.
Forward.
He drove into me.
Backward.
He retracted.
“I missed this pussy,” he groaned.
Backward.
Forward.
“Yesssssss.”
Backward.
Forward.
“This my shit.”
Backward.
Forward.
“I don’t give a fuck how hard we beefing.”
Backward.
Forward.
“You belong to me.”
Backward.
Forward.
“This pussy belongs to me.”
Backward.
Forward.
“This dick belongs to you.”
Backward.
Forward.
“Fuck. Shit so wet.”
Backward.
Forward.
Ishmael lifted my upper half.
“Uhhhh.”
He was leaving no room to wonder who was in control.
“Stop fucking playing with me, Royce.”
Backward.
Forward.
Backward.
Forward.
“Understand?”
Backward.
Forward.
“Yesssssss.”
His strokes quickened. Hard. Long. Relentless.
Backward.
Forward.
Backward.
Forward.
My body quivered with content. My orgasm traveled, starting near my chest. It reached my pussy without mercy.
“Is– Ishhhhhh– Uhhhhh.”
“That’s it, my baby. Cum on this motherfucker.”
***
Ishmael’s lips landed on the back of my hand. I fought to stay awake. He didn’t power up the plane. Ishmael made the decision to make the drive back to Berkeley.
He longed for the silence. He longed for the solitude. He longed for the stretch of the road to clear his head. He longed for more time with me.
“You can go to sleep.”
I shook my head, yawning.
“Not yet.”
“Then when?” He chuckled.
“I don’t know. Just not now.”
“Why not now?”
“Too much on my mind,” I admitted.
“Us.”
“What about us, my baby?”
“I’m worried.”
“For what?”
“The last two weeks have been scary.”
“For us both. But, there’s nothing to worry about. I was in my head. Admittedly, my heart was broken. I wanted to win it, Royce, no bullshit. You know. But, the odds were stacked against me.”
“They knew you’d crush it. They knew you had voters where you needed them. They weren’t running an honest race, Ishmael. You couldn’t either. Once they began they wouldn’t have stopped until Daniels was back in office.”
“I understand that now.”
“I’m sorry I hurt your heart.”
“It was nothing compared to the pain of your absence. I never want to feel that shit again. Not as long as there’s breath in my body.”
“I don’t either.”
“Let’s agree to not walk away. To never walk away. To never lay down without fixing our shit. I can’t go through what we just went through again.”
“Promise.”
I held out the pinky of my left hand. Ishmael uncurled the rest. He took his eyes off the road briefly as he slid the diamond onto my finger. Slowly, I sat up in my seat, admiring the stone while attempting to make sense of the moment.
“Promise,” he replied.
“Ish.”
“Marry me, my baby.”
“Ishmael!”
I stared at my hand, feeling myself coming unglued. I was ripping at the seams.
“Marry me.”
“Baby!”
“Marry me.”
He brought my hand to his mouth.
“I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life. I’m sure ‘bout you, my baby. Marry me.”
I nodded.
“Yes.”
“Yes?”
“Yes.” I repeated. “Yes.”
His palm collided with the steering wheel.
“That brings me joy, baby. So much joy.”
“Don’t ever take that long to come get me.”
I punched him in his arm. He rubbed the spot.
“I won’t have to come get you because I won’t go to sleep with that heavy of a heart. I won’t let you either.”
“Good, because I hate begging niggas.”
Chuckling, he glanced at me and then the road.
“You ain’t gon’ let me live that down, huh?”
“I’m not.”
“I done did some begging, my baby. It’s okay. I’m prepared to beg for the rest of my life.”
“Whatever it takes.”
“Whatever it takes,” he joined. “I love you.”
“I love you.” I sighed, unable to keep my eyes off the diamond causing commotion on my hand and in my heart.
It was perfect. A single diamond-encrusted band with a single stone to top it off.
In every lifetime, my baby.