Chapter 41 Micah
MICAH
Her hand is so cold in mine. I’ve been at her bedside nearly the entire two days she’s been unconscious.
Liam has explained what’s happening at length but at some point I tuned it out.
It’s not typical for me but all the talk of waiting and seeing, she needs time, blah blah.
It’s driving me crazy because there’s nothing I can do.
I’ve never felt so helpless in my life. I just want to see her eyes open.
Never mind wanting a second chance with her, as long as she’s okay, nothing else matters.
Parker and Ben are sleeping elsewhere in the room.
It’s pretty late. I look down at my watch to see it’s nearly three a.m. The rest of the pack went to the hotel a few hours ago.
We’ve been here in shifts. After the first night, they said our entire pack can’t be here overnight.
I think Liam called in a favor the night she was admitted so we could all stay.
This is the same hospital he did his residency in.
She looks so lifeless, not at all how she normally does when she’s sleeping.
My thumb brushes over the back of her hand.
Still cold. Just take all the warmth from me.
I don’t need it. I almost laugh at the thought.
I doubt anyone would have said I had any warmth to give. If I do, it’s Thea’s anyways.
I glance over at Parker sleeping on the small couch by the window and Ben in the chair.
They have warmth, probably the most out of all of us in the pack, for different reasons—Parker with his high energy that could cheer anyone up, and Ben is probably the most caring person I’ve ever met besides my two alpha dads.
I’ve learned a lot from my pack, all of them.
Yet, I still let my old demons stand in my way.
Honestly since what happened with Amber, I’ve felt lost. Our pack, the family I love, almost fell apart and I was partly to blame.
Somehow in trying to right that wrong, I lost sight of the core of us.
I’m lucky my pack knows me so well, enough to give me some grace when I was a moody bastard.
Even Thea did and she hasn’t known me as long as them.
Maybe it’s the scent match. I haven’t let myself dwell on what her scent makes me feel.
It feels too comforting, like it’s magically unlocking all my defenses.
In the beginning I had to work twice as hard to block it out.
When she was gone, her lingering scent in the house felt like torture.
I was scared it’d fade entirely and it’d be as if she was a dream I’d wake up from when it did.
I wonder if they can feel anything from her in the bond.
I hope she’s not in pain. I lay my head on the bed next to where I have her hand in mine, turning so I face where her head is resting against the pillow.
If she opened her eyes now, she’d be looking down at me.
Huh, that’d be fitting. Please Thea, wake up.
You have so much left to do. You have bonded mates waiting. They love you so much.
I love you.
I turn my face into the bed more, blocking out the low light.
I need to tell her. I don’t deserve her but I can’t leave it unsaid, especially after we almost lost her.
Gods, I’m so selfish. I shouldn’t even be thinking about this when she’s here in the hospital.
Returning to my original position, I look up at Thea and shock runs through me—her eyes are open.
She’s looking down at me and there’s so much emotion in her gaze, I can’t even begin to decipher.
It takes a second for the shock to kick in and I’m bolting upright. “Thea,” I say her name like it’s a prayer. Her hand tightens in my hold. She’s so strong, my Wildcat.
She swallows a few times before trying to speak. You idiot, she needs water. I hurry to pour some in a cup, and of course there’s no straw in sight. I slowly tilt the cup for her to drink. After she drinks most of it, she tries again. “Micah, please hold me.”
Her voice is still raspy but it’s her eyes that look as if a dam will break at any moment.
I’ll do anything she needs. Thankfully most of the tubes and wires connected to her are running along her other side.
The bed is wide enough for her to rest comfortably and someone of Ben or Liam’s slim size to lie on their sides next to her.
I’m not as bulky as Eli or Keelan, but it doesn’t matter if I’m half off the bed.
Climbing in and lying on my side, I get as close to her as possible and reach my arm around her body, holding her to me.
She turns her head further into me. Her scent is faint but there, under whatever the nurses used to clean her up with the other day.
For once I don’t try to ignore it and let it envelop me—freedom.