Chapter 42 Thea
THEA
My head is killing me but I just want my pack more than anything.
I’m not sure what was more surprising, Micah at my bedside to begin with, or him holding my hand so tenderly.
He’s holding me like I’ll break at any moment.
Maybe I will. Flashes of what happened are pushing to the forefront of my mind, but I can’t face them yet.
Taking big lungfuls of his scent is helping.
The pain in my head is actually starting to lessen, can that be real?
Who cares? It hurts less. His scent, warm coffee, is swirling around me along with the other emotion his scent evokes—freedom.
That scent more than anyone else’s in the pack could trigger a wave of different emotions in me.
I’m free in so many ways that I didn’t think I’d ever have again.
I never want to lose this again. Silent tears flow freely down my face as I’m buried in Micah’s neck and chest. The soft strokes of his hand up and down my arms as he holds me grounds me to this reality instead of getting lost in my head.
I pull back, looking up at him. His brows are pinched together and brown eyes are screaming concern.
His normally perfectly styled hair and beard are an unruly mess.
His hand moves to cup my face, and he’s so warm that I can’t help but lean into it.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t protect you better,” he whispers between us, his voice cracking. This alpha is a piece of work, always putting the weight of the world on himself.
“You’re an idiot.” I roll my eyes, which triggered a flare of pain in my head.
His eyes widen slightly in surprise before nodding solemnly.
I don’t have the patience for this. “You’re my idiot who seems to think I blame him for something.
One day you need to get it through that thick head of yours that I’m not mad at you.
In spite of everything, I love you and you’re too blind to see it because you won’t get out of your own head.
” Talking so much is exhausting. My whole being feels weak.
I close my eyes, still leaning into his hand on my face.
Suddenly I feel something on my forehead.
I open my eyes to find Micah resting his head against mine, his face incredibly close.
It startles me for a second before his expression filters in.
His eyes are radiating hope and fear. “You are completely correct. I’m an idiot where you’re concerned.
I realized it before the heat and that guilt only got worse after.
You being taken broke something in me; something I probably should have shattered myself a long time ago.
Not knowing if you were alive or dead like the others was the scariest moment of my life.
I won’t hold back from you again. I love you Thea, more than I can possibly ever find a way to say.
But I’ll try for the rest of our lives to find those words and show you how much I love you.
If you’ll let me,” he tells me, tears filling his eyes.
Micah is crying. He’s so annoying. I just woke up and he’s going to make me cry because he’s crying.
“Of course I’ll let you, idiot,” I say through my tears, making him smile.
Gods even in his lowest that smile lights up his face in a way I’ve never seen on him.
I move just enough for our lips to press together.
It’s a relatively chaste kiss. Yet, it doesn’t stop the lightness I feel in my heart, as one final piece slides into place.
“As for our lack of bond, I’m ready when you are to fix that.
Well maybe once I’m out of the hospital,” I add on, belatedly realizing what he said about the bond.
It’s funny because almost the entire pack was ready to bond me well before I was ready—and with Micah being the last, it’s the other way around.
I was ready to bond him after we talked following the heat, but he needed time and I wouldn’t rush that for him or anyone. I know the feeling all too well.
“Now you’re the idiot. You need to get better before we even deal with that.” His tone is serious, but his eyes give away how happy what I said made him. Love how he basically said the same thing I did, but given all the love declarations going on I’ll let it slide.
I don’t reply, choosing to just bury my face back in his neck, taking in his scent.
It really is helping the pain in my head.
A wave of exhaustion comes over me. I guess that was too much excitement.
My last thought before sleep claims me is Liam is going to love this latest development in scent matches.