Chapter 3
YOU ARE NOT AN INCONVENIENCE
LILY
My first flight was a rather interesting experience.
I’ve only had movies and TV shows to compare it to, but I guess business class is different from the standard economy seats.
Sebastian was clearly in his natural environment and appeared completely at ease.
Meanwhile, I’d looked towards the squished seats further back, comparing their experience with my own, and wondering what it’s like to be forced to practically sit in the lap of your neighbour, who is most likely a complete stranger.
The joys of travelling with billionaires, I guess.
While my father, a high end property developer, wasn’t exactly poor, the DeLuca’s are the kind of wealthy that seems impossible.
Joseph often tried to give the impression he was in the same league as them, but I’m sure his bank account pales in comparison…
Not that I’d know - I was given no access to money, and especially not his bank accounts.
But knowing that he was jealous of the DeLuca brothers is something that has given me a little satisfaction.
For years, even after they were no longer in my life, he’d lamented the fact that the brothers had so much more money, acting as though it was a personal attack against him, which was ridiculous.
Yet, despite knowing how well off they are, I’m still in awe of the building that comes into view at the end of the long, winding driveway.
The property appears to be on the outskirts of Brisbane, although I don’t know the geography of the city at all.
We’d driven for almost an hour and are now out in the mountains, with no other properties in sight.
I shouldn’t have been surprised by the size of the place, given the mansion that houses the Rose Hill club.
But while that property is modern, with massive glass windows and black and white interiors, this place looks like the sort of place aristocracy in Europe would live in.
Or at least, from what I’ve seen on TV or read in books.
There’s a large fountain out the front, serving as a turning point for any cars coming up the driveway, and a series of lights illuminate the long front of the imposing structure. It’s beautiful and mysterious.
Exactly the sort of place I can see Sebastian living in.
“I’ve had them set my office up as a room for you,” Sebastian says, breaking the silence between us.
We’ve barely uttered a word to each other since he watched me eat at the airport.
I loathe the fact that I have nowhere to turn other than to the two men that I am most ashamed to see how far I’ve fallen. I hate feeling like a responsibility for either of them, but it’s harder to accept Sebastian’s help than it was Daniel’s.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realise you’d have to give up your personal space. I should have just stayed in Sydney,” I reply, guilt twisting in my stomach at the knowledge that I’m upending his life by being here.
“It was no bother, Lily. I share another office with Imogen when we work together, so I can just use that as my primary one when I need. You are not an inconvenience, so don’t for one second think that’s the case,” he says, his voice firm.
I study him for a moment before nodding. I know from experience that once this man makes up his mind, there’s no changing it.
He’s always had a commanding presence, but in the years since I’ve seen him, he seems to have grown even more powerful. And I’m drawn to him more than ever, albeit reluctantly.
I refuse to allow myself to consider that he would ever view me as anything more than the woman he feels obligated to care for. Not after the way things ended between us.
I can tell he feels guilt over what Joseph has subjected me to, but I don’t hold him responsible for that. I’d allowed his former friend to whisper all the pretty words in my ear, after all. And my father had gleefully shoved me into Joseph’s path once he discovered his interest in me.
Despite Sebastian and Daniel’s obvious reservations when it came to Joseph, I’d allowed myself to get swept up into their world even further than I already had been.
He’d talked me into giving up my university studies in my final year to play the perfect girlfriend role, and I’d believed the lies he’d spewed, promising to take care of me forever.
If only I’d known that by accepting his marriage proposal, I was selling my soul to the devil.
The car rolls to a stop in front of the wide, stone staircase at the centre of the building, and I stare up at the intricately carved wooden doors. It really is an impressive building.
In the front passenger seat, Sebastian turns to our driver. “Thanks David. Sorry to call you out this evening. I should have driven myself this morning, but I didn’t know how long I’d be away.”
“It was no bother. It’s why you pay me the big bucks, after all,” David replies with an easy smile.
From the interactions I’ve seen today between Sebastian and his staff, it’s obvious that they respect him. Although he’s reserved and all about control, he’s always been respectful and compassionate towards others. It was part of what drew me to him in the first place.
Of course, that compassion being all wrapped up in a sexy, commanding package doesn’t hurt, either.
Another man appears at the top of the stairs as I get out of the car, and I freeze, instantly on alert. Despite my wariness, I notice he is yet another attractive man. I wonder if there are any ugly people that work for them?
The man comes down the stairs, and I take in his broad shoulders and well-defined arms as I stare at him with wide eyes.
He’s a wall of muscle, and cuts a rather imposing figure, with his close-cut beard and watchful gaze.
He studies me for a moment as I shrink back behind Sebastian, before he turns to Sebastian with a questioning look.
“How was your flight?” he asks, and I detect a slight Irish accent.
Now that he’s closer, I see the earpiece in his ear, and realise he must be part of the security team Sebastian mentioned.
Some of the fear I’d felt eases, although I’m still wary.
I wonder if I’ll ever be comfortable around other men again.
I never used to be so scared of the opposite sex, but it’s hard to undo years of conditioning in a few months.
“Good, thanks. Connell, this is Lily. A friend.” Sebastian turns to me as he pulls my suitcase out of the boot. “Connell is our head of security for all the clubs, but he lives here.”
“Hi,” I squeak out, and Connell raises an eyebrow before giving me a brief nod.
“They’ve just finished up in your suite,” Connell says, and Sebastian nods.
For the first time, I notice how tired Sebastian looks. It’s most likely been a long day for him, and I once again hate that I’ve been such a burden.
“Thanks. Everything okay here?”
“Yes. We’ve got two different groups in the basement with Kresta and Sabrina, but nothing out of the ordinary.”
I’m curious about what he means by groups, but this definitely isn’t the time or place for me to be asking questions.
I doubt it will ever be the right time.
From what I saw in Sydney, the clubs are all about privacy for both those who work there and the clients who enter the doors, and as I’m neither, I will just have to remain curious.
Connell strides off along the front of the mansion, moving towards the side of the building where another man stands with a guard dog.
I’d not noticed him before, and wonder just how large the security team is.
There had been guards stationed at the front gates, opening the opulent wrought-iron gate when they’d spoken to David and Sebastian.
For the first time in three months, the tightly coiled knot of fear in my chest loosens.
Not by much, but enough for my shoulders to lower a little.
My body has been aching from how tense my muscles have been, but I’ve become used to it.
The fear I’ve been feeling lately has been only slightly different from the fear I’ve been living with throughout my marriage, after all.
Like when I’d wondered what version of my husband would appear each day.
Or what unconscious actions of mine might set him off.
“Come on, let’s get you settled,” Sebastian says, pulling me from the painful memories.
I follow him, silently taking in the interior of the mansion as we step inside the doors.
The floor of the foyer is one large marble slab with a grand staircase, made of dark wood, leading up to the first floor and ending just metres from the door.
I half expect a princess to float down the staircase.
From what I could tell from the outside, there’s another story above that one.
Which means, along with the basement Connell mentioned, this place is a total of four stories.
And it had spanned quite a distance when I’d studied the front.
I can’t even fathom how big it must be. This place makes the home I used to live in seem like a hovel, which I’d not thought possible.
Joseph always needed to have the best money could buy, but there is no way he could have afforded a property like this. Not many people can.
No one would ever imagine this place was a den of sex, and if I didn’t know there were unspeakable acts most likely occurring beneath my feet at this very moment, I would think this was a place fit for royalty.
Although, from what I’ve read in the tabloids, the royals would most likely partake in those unspeakable acts with great enthusiasm.
“I’ll give you a tour tomorrow. I’m sure you’re tired and ready for bed,” Sebastian says as he leads me up the staircase.
“Okay,” I say quietly, certain that I won’t be going far from the room he has had set up for me.
I barely left the suite I’d been staying in at the Sydney club, and I doubt that will change here. I’ve become comfortable in my little bubble, and I’m not ready to change that.
A short way down the long hall on the first floor, he opens a large wooden door to reveal another staircase. Holding the door open for me, he waits while I walk cautiously past him, careful not to brush against him in the tight space.
This staircase is steeper, and I feel slightly claustrophobic in the enclosed space. But it opens into a wide hall, and the feeling dissipates as I take in the long hallway with at least ten doors leading off it on either side of the staircase.
“How many people live here?” I ask, and he seems surprised that I’ve spoken.
Given that I’ve barely uttered a word unless asked a question since he blazed back into my life, that’s understandable.
“There are seven of us here in the mansion at present. There were eight, but Daniella just brought her own home and has moved out. We have other staff accomodation elsewhere on the grounds. We’re having Daniella’s suite renovated, and that will eventually become yours if you are still wanting to stay here when it’s finished. ”
I stare at him, unable to fully comprehend his words. He’s already made plans for me to stay here long enough to have my own suite?
“You want me to stay?” I ask, my voice wavering.
Sebastian’s expression softens a little, the mask slipping once again. “You’re family, Lily. You have a home with us as long as you need and want it. However long that may be.”
Home.
I’ve never felt like I had one. Not really.
I should have known that if I ever found one, it would be because of the DeLuca brothers. But I can’t allow myself to get comfortable here. Because as much as they claim I’m family, I know that I’m nothing more than an inconvenience. And I need to find my own way in this awful world at some point.
But for now, I’ll accept the roof over my head and hope I can finally feel safe enough to work out how to no longer be a burden on these two protectors. And on this man especially.
Sebastian shows me into his suite, taking my suitcase into the first bedroom near the door.
“This is your room. My bedroom is right next door if you need anything,” he says, standing in the open doorway while I look around the room, taking in the neatly made bed, piled with throw pillows on top of a pale purple bedspread.
My favourite colour.
“Feel free to make this as homely as you want,” Sebastian continues, swallowing hard as he watches me.
If I didn’t know him better, I’d think he was nervous.
“Thank you,” I murmur, and after another moment of silence, he nods and closes the door behind him.
Sinking down on the bed, I run my hand over the bedspread.
I know there’s no coincidence that he’d made sure the room featured my favourite colour, but I don’t know what to make of it.
With how things ended between us, I am still having trouble wrapping my head around the concern he’s shown me today.
The phone Daniel handed me earlier vibrates in my pocket, startling me from my musings.
I haven’t had a phone in months, and the one I’d had previously had been closely guarded by Joseph, so I’m not used to having one of my own.
Pulling it from the pocket of my jeans, I tap the screen to see a message from Daniel.
Daniel
I hope your first time on a plane was everything you hoped, Lil. Try to keep that brother of mine in line, okay? I’ll call you to check in tomorrow.
A small smile tugs at the corners of my mouth, and I close my eyes with a sigh.
Maybe they are both right and being here will help me feel less…
lost. I can only hope that’s the case, because I am so tired of the person I’ve become.
I just don’t know how to get back to the version of myself they both remember. Or if it’s even possible.