Chapter 4 Not Going To Happen
NOT GOING TO HAPPEN
SEBASTIAN
I rarely have nights where I can’t sleep. While my life is busy, it’s one I’m content with, and things don’t often keep me up at night.
But after I’d shown Lily into the room that my staff had done a very good job of setting up on short notice, I had tossed and turned for hours. Knowing that she was only a few metres away on the other side of the wall.
Other than when Daniel stays here, I never have anyone in my personal space. It is my sanctuary and the one place I have that’s just mine.
The people that live within this building are like family to me, a group of carefully vetted individuals I trust with my life and livelihood.
But sometimes I need to retreat from their constant shenanigans.
Aside from Connell, who is a stoic individual that avoids drama like the plague, the others can sometimes get a little wrapped up in each others’ business.
Something I’m not used to after growing up on the run and then later forced into the foster system.
So having Lily in this space is disconcerting, and it’s stirring up feelings I’ve long kept locked away.
I’d finally fallen asleep somewhere around 2am, but my body runs like clockwork, and I’m wide awake at 6am.
Knowing there’s no point in attempting to go back to sleep, I pull on my sweatpants and a shirt before heading down to the gym on the ground floor.
Connell is the only other early riser amongst us, and he usually goes for a run first, so I have the space to myself.
When I’d first begun planning the design of this property, I had determined that I wanted it to be a place where those who reside here felt completely at home, with all the amenities that they would need onsite. And that included a state-of-the-art gym.
There are no expectations on any of the sex workers to be a certain size, and each of them takes pride in their appearance.
Whether they are curvy or not, they all need to have the stamina to keep up with the physical endurance of the job, and they deserve access to the equipment for that…
Hence the gym filled with cardio equipment, weights and even pilates machines, which Annika, in particular, favours.
The only requirement I have of the sex workers is that they present themselves to a standard that reflects the high price tag our clients pay just to enter the doors.
Each of sex workers sought me out after they’d attended a club night, asking to work here in their pursuit of sexual freedom and pleasure.
I provide them with a very generous salary and the option to live here, and in exchange, they get to live out their fantasies while helping those who pay for the privilege of their company, both parties able to explore their own boundaries in a discreet and safe environment.
While I don’t sleep with the clients, I am often face to face with them, and therefore hold myself to the same standards I require of the sex workers.
I work out down here here five days a week, and run on the bush trails that surround the mansion.
I find it helps me deal with the stress of running multiple companies at once.
As I go through my workout routine, the fog of exhaustion finally lifts as the endorphins flow, giving me the energy I need to get through the rest of my busy day.
By the time I return to my suite, Lily has emerged from her room, the lines of fatigue on her face even more pronounced as she sits on my couch with her legs curled beneath her.
“How did you sleep?” I ask as I move towards the small kitchen area.
Each suite is set up like a one-bedroom apartment, with the exception of mine, which has the second room that I usually use as my office.
While they each have a place for preparing meals, the property has two large kitchens and we all usually eat main meals in one of those.
I prefer to eat breakfast alone, though, needing solitude before entering the fray.
“Fine,” Lily says, continuing with the one-word responses, the same as yesterday.
While I’m not a violent man, I would love nothing more than to take my fists to Joseph right now. I wonder if she will ever return to the bubbly woman I knew before. But then, our complicated relationship may also be a contributing factor to the cautious expression on her face.
I eat my fruit and yoghurt while scrolling on my phone, attempting to read the latest news while glancing towards the couch every few minutes.
Lily remains silent throughout, and it’s becoming harder and harder to ignore the shell of a human she’s become.
When I return from the shower to find her in the exact same spot, staring into space, I decide enough is enough.
“Lily, I want you to shower and come meet me downstairs once you’re done,” I tell her, and she meets my gaze with wide eyes.
“I don’t-”
“No, Daniel might have been okay to let you hide away, but that’s not going to happen here.
You are safe, and the people who live here will want nothing more than to befriend you.
If you’re not downstairs in forty minutes, I will carry you down to my office over my shoulder in your pyjamas if I have to.
” I don’t give her a chance to respond, simply turning and striding out the door, calling back over my shoulder, “It’s on the first floor, sixth door on the right. ”
And with that, I close the door and take a breath, hoping I’ve done the right thing in forcing her to re-enter the world.
Lily appears at the door of my office exactly forty minutes later, a slightly annoyed expression on her face, which I’m happy to see. I’ll take annoyed over a frightened mouse any day.
“You demanded my presence,” she says as she walks in the door, halting when she sees Annika sitting on the couch next to my desk. “Oh, sorry.”
Annika smirks at me. “Looks like someone is in trouble.”
I frown at her before turning back to Lily. “Lily St Clair, this is Annika James. She’s been working here the longest out of everyone, and is a giant pain in my arse.”
Annika grins and bounces to her feet, her long brown hair swaying down her back in a single braid.
A breathtakingly beautiful, curvy woman, she’s always been a ball of energy and had practically vibrated out of her skin when I requested her help with getting Lily settled and out of her shell.
She’s the perfect one for this task - even if she is, as I just said, a giant pain in my arse.
“Nice to meet you,” Annika says, sticking her hand out towards Lily, who stares at her with wide eyes.
With how hesitant she’s been around new people, I have to wonder how often she spoke to people outside of Joseph and his staff.
Perhaps Imogen would have been the better choice to help her out, as she’s less bouncy.
But I have need of her this morning while I send Annika and Lily out to acquire her a new wardrobe and other necessities.
Her bag had weighed practically nothing, and I’m adding that to the list of things to have a word with Daniel about.
He should have ignored Lily and bought her more clothes if he wasn’t able to get more of her belongings when he’d snatched her out of that hellhole.
Unlike my brother, I don’t take no for an answer when it comes to something like providing someone with food and clothes, especially when I can see they need help.
“It’s Lily Sinclair,” Lily says quietly as she finally takes the hand that Annika has extended towards her.
“Oh.” Annika flicks a confused look my way, and I shake my head.
“Old habits. You’ll always be Lily St Clair to me,” I say, and I don’t miss the small frown on Lily’s face that disappears a second later.
I refuse to refer to her by the surname she married into. Not when the husband who bears that name is the reason she has become a shadow of her former self.
“Well, whatever your last name is, Sinclair, St Clair - they both sound the same, by the way - you’re looking at your shopping buddy.” Annika sweeps the awkwardness aside, just as I knew she would.
I watch with amusement as Lily blinks at her a few times.
There was a reason I’d gravitated towards Annika when I first met her.
Her bubbly personality had reminded me so much of Lily at a time when I was missing her most. She was the head bartender at one of the bars Daniel and I own, and as I came to know her better, we developed a friendship, and I wondered if she would be a good fit for Dark Desires.
But it was when I’d come across her at an orgy that I knew I’d found a kindred spirit. And although we fuck one another regularly, our relationship has remained purely platonic.
I wonder if Lily can sense the similarity between Annika and her former self, or if she is too far gone to realise that she is nothing more than a shell of that person.
“Shopping buddy?” Lily asks, her gaze slowly shifting away from Annika to meet mine.
I can tell she’s a little dazed by Annika’s smiling approach.
“Yep. Sebastian said you need a whole new wardrobe and stuff. And lucky for you, I love to shop. So we’re off to find you the most expensive clothes this shiny card will allow.” Annika holds up the black credit card I’d handed her a few minutes ago.
“Oh, no, you don’t -”
“Nope. Not happening. I have been given strict instructions that you need to be spoiled and I intend to follow through. I’ve booked us both facials, also courtesy of the shiny card, and we’ll have lunch somewhere nice. So go get your shoes, we’re going to take all this man’s money.”
While Annika is all smiles, there’s no arguing with the finality of her tone, and Lily looks between the two of us with a stunned expression.
I simply shrug, giving the impression that Annika is the one who is calling the shots here. When she’s really just doing exactly what I’d asked. Being friendly but not allowing Lily to hide.
Finally realising this is happening whether or not she protests, Lily sighs and turns away, shooting me that same annoyed expression as she walks back out the door. And I’ll be damned if that doesn’t get my hopes up.
Maybe this plan will work after all.