Chapter 39 So Fucking Beautiful
SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL
SEBASTIAN
After a few moments, she lifts her head to study my face, and I hold her gaze, hoping she can read the change in my emotions.
“You didn’t pull away?” she whispers, reaching up to stroke my cheek.
“I can’t… I can’t fight this anymore,” I admit, allowing myself to be truly vulnerable with her finally.
Her eyes widen, and she rises, resting on her elbow as she reaches to stroke my cheek.
“What do you mean?”
Running my hand up and down her back gently, I search her face for a moment, trying to find the right words.
“When Daniel brought you home the first time, all those years ago, there was something about you, Lily. And I knew, even at the age of eighteen, that you would be my downfall.”
Her eyebrows fly upwards as her expression morphs into one of pure surprise. “What?”
I give her a wry smile. “You have no idea the effect you had on me. Or still do, as it seems. But you didn’t belong in my world.
It was dark and violent, full of shady characters, and for a time, I had to become one of them.
It wasn’t a place for someone as full of life as you.
I shielded Daniel and you from a lot during those years.
It’s why I pushed for him to go to university instead of coming straight into the business.
I wanted to build something that was real, and I did.
But I’ve always felt like that person… but I’m slowly realising that things have changed now.
That maybe I can be worthy of someone like you. ”
She cups my cheek, her eyes welling a little. “You have always been worthy, Sebastian DeLuca.”
She bends her head to kiss me again. A whimper slips from her lips, and I tighten my hold on her body as her tongue strokes gently against mine..
I allow her to take the lead, needing her to understand that this isn’t about control.
This is about surrender.
As she becomes bolder, the kiss grows in intensity, and I bring my other hand up to cup her cheek, smoothing my thumb over her soft skin.
She moves to straddle my hips, and I thread my fingers through her silky hair while she kisses her way down my throat.
When she reaches my chest, she wiggles backward, and I chuckle when she flicks her gaze to mine with a playful glint in her eye.
She slowly plants kisses down my chest and over my abs, holding eye contact with me each time.
As though she’s waiting to see when I’m going to take charge.
But I have no intention of bringing this game of hers to an end.
When she reaches the band of my sweatpants, she pauses, her lips pressed to my lower abdomen as her eyes search mine.
An unspoken question behind her hesitation.
I nod slightly as I caress her cheek, and her smile grows.
She grabs the band of my sweatpants, and I lift my arse slightly so she can pull them down until she exposes my cock.
She continues to watch my face as she wraps her hand around it.
She tentatively strokes up and down, changing pace, as though testing what will get the best reaction from me.
I allow my eyes to close slightly, letting myself just enjoy the feel of her hand as it moves.
It’s so rare for me to be able to just enjoy the touch of someone else like this, and other than the few times with Declan, I can’t remember the last time I’ve felt completely at peace like this.
I watch through hooded eyes as Lily slides further down the bed and bends to swirl her tongue around the head of my cock. Letting out a breath, I slide my fingers gently back into her hair. Not to guide her movements, but to simply have that further connection to her.
She continues her slow, almost torturous, exploration with her tongue, and I can’t help but groan once she’s finally covers my cock with her mouth. The sound spurs her on, and she grins around my cock as she sets the pace, sliding her tongue along the underside of my shaft.
She grows bolder with each bob of her head, and after another groan is pulled from my throat, I rub my fingers against the back of her head.
“If you want this to go any further, Lil, you’re going to have to stop doing that, or I’m going to be coming down your throat,” I say, giving her the choice.
She pauses, and I can tell she’s considering what she wants to happen. Finally, she comes to her decision and lifts her head.
“I keep waiting for you to take over,” she admits, confusion in her eyes.
I stroke her cheek. “This is about you, baby. Take what you need.”
Her eyes widen at the term of endearment that slips from my lips, but I don’t regret it. I need her to understand that I’m done fighting this.
“I want you inside me,” she whispers, and I nod.
“There should be a condom in my pocket,” I say, and she reaches into the pocket of my sweatpants that are still sitting at my mid thighs.
She pulls out the square packet, then sits back so I can kick my pants off before I tug her towards me, urging her to straddle my thighs again.
I let her roll the condom on, rubbing my hands up and down her thighs as she does. And once I’m fully sheathed, she lifts her jumper over her head, exposing her naked body beneath.
She looks down at me with eyes so full of trust and wonder that I can’t help but feel like maybe I can be worthy of this woman.
Because all I want to do is worship her.
As I reach to massage her breast, she takes a deep breath before taking hold of my cock and easing herself downwards. And as she slowly rolls her hips and laces her fingers through mine, I finally understand why Imogen had been so emotional with Cam.
This isn’t mindless fucking.
This is making love.
It’s beautiful.
All consuming.
And fucking terrifying.
It takes every ounce of my self control to keep from grabbing her hips. To hold her still and drive my cock upwards. To turn this into something I’m more familiar with.
But I force myself to be vulnerable. To let her have this piece of myself that no one else has ever had before.
Of course I was never going to be able to keep it strictly physical with this woman. She’s been my undoing for sixteen years, and, if I’m truly honest with myself, she’s the reason that I’ve not allowed emotional attachments to form with any other partners before now.
Because none of them were her.
She picks up the pace, grinding down as she circles her hips, pressing her clit against my pubic bone to get the perfect amount of friction. Her eyes glaze over, but she continues to watch me as I look up at her in awe.
“You are so fucking beautiful,” I murmur, and she smiles.
“So are you,” she replies, and I sit up, needing to erase the distance between us.
She wraps her arms around my neck, holding me close as she continues to move her hips.
I gently pull her face to mine and kiss her softly. She pours her emotions back into me, sliding her tongue over mine in time with the movements of her hips.
We stay like that forever, and I can tell she’s trying to make it last, even as I feel the tension grow in her body beneath my hands.
“It’s okay, baby. Let go. I’ll be here to catch you when you fall,” I whisper, and her eyes roll back in her head as she moans.
I feel her tighten around my cock when she shudders, and I hold her still when she presses her mouth to my throat to smother the long moan that accompanies her orgasm.
Once she’s regained her breath, she pulls back to smile at me.
“Thank you,” she whispers, pressing her forehead to mine.
I shift to press a kiss to her forehead.
She sighs, closing her eyes for a moment, before opening them and smirking at me.
“I’d like you to fuck me hard now, please.”
I choke on a laugh, surprised by the sudden shift in her mood. “And how would you like me to fuck you hard, Lily?”
The smirk morphs into a wicked grin. “You’ll probably need to do it from behind so I can bury my face into a pillow to muffle my screams.”
I flips us over swiftly before pulling out and shifting backwards so she can roll onto her stomach. She grabs a pillow, but I pull it from her hands to slide it under her hips.
“Get another one for your face,” I tell her, and she laughs, before doing just that.
And once she’s ready, I thrust deep inside her and fuck her hard like she asked.
With our fingers laced together above her head, the pillow does a good job at smothering her moans and cries, but I suspect Daniel is probably getting a pretty good earful if he’s awake.
Serves him right for being such a know-it-all.
While this is more my speed, it still feels different to all my other interactions and when I feel my own orgasm arrive, I have to press my lips against her shoulder to smother my own moans.
And once we’re cleaned up and and I’ve wrapped myself around her small body, I fall into the deepest sleep I’ve had in a long time.