Chapter 40 Freedom To Explore
FREEDOM TO EXPLORE
LILY
When I’d fallen asleep with my head resting on Sebastian’s chest, I’d expected to wake up to an empty bed in the morning. While it had felt like he’d finally decided to stop fighting his feelings for me, I’ve just come to expect him to withdraw from intimacy at every turn.
So when I wake up to find his body wrapped around mine, it takes me a moment to work out what’s going on.
The clock on the bedside table shows that it’s past 8am, and he stirs slowly when I wriggle back into his embrace.
“Good morning,” he murmurs, his voice raspy from sleep.
“Good morning,” I reply quietly, loving the feeling of his arms tightening around me. “How did you sleep?”
He kisses my neck gently. “Probably the best I’ve slept in a long time.” I feel him lift his head. “Is that clock right?”
I nod, turning to look at him over my shoulder. “Yeah, why? Do you have a meeting or something?”
He shakes his head. “No… I just can’t remember the last time I slept past six, that’s all.”
“Guess you needed the sleep then,” I reply, keeping my tone light as a little burst of happiness hits me right in the heart.
One night sleeping with me and he slept the longest and best he has in a long time? Yeah, it’s hard not to feel like I might have had something to do with it.
I feel his cock twitch against my lower back, and I wriggle again, grinning when he tightens his hold further.
He groans before nipping the sensitive skin just below my ear. “Are you trying to get me to fuck you, Lily St. Clair?”
“Yes,” I reply, not bothering to hide how much I want to feel him between my legs right now.
The arm wrapped around my waist slips away, and I look over my shoulder to see him grabbing another condom from the pocket of his sweatpants on the floor.
The advantage of fucking a sex-god is that he has protection on him at all times.
He rolls it down over his hard cock before returning to spoon me, sliding his hand downwards before gripping my thigh and slinging my leg back over his legs. He finds my clit a moment later, rubbing slow circles over it while I moan.
Neither of us says anything as he continues to work my clit, eventually sliding two fingers inside me while his thumb rolls over the bundle of nerves. My breathing becomes laboured, and I bury my face into my pillow to smother my moans, not wanting Daniel to hear me.
“That’s it, Lily. Come for me,” he commands, and I shatter apart.
The orgasm is still rolling through me when he slides inside my pussy, pulling another series of moans out of me as he moves his hips slowly, and his fingers return to my clit.
His own breathing grows uneven as he picks up the pace.
Eventually, he rolls me onto my stomach. He pulls my hips up and slides back inside me, and when I turn my head, he gently pulls it back so he can kiss me while he slides his other hand beneath me to find my clit again.
At this new angle, his cock slides against my g-spot with each thrust, and I moan against his lips, feeling another orgasm building.
“So fucking responsive,” he says, sounding proud as he thrusts harder.
I can’t do anything but moan, and I give up on worrying about Daniel hearing us as Sebastian pushes me closer to my second orgasm. With our hands clasped together above my head, I feel everything tighten within me, and a moment later, I’m pulling him over the edge with me.
He rests his forehead against my shoulder as he catches his breath, before gently kissing me again when I lift my head finally.
“I can’t seem to control myself when I’m with you,” he admits, sounding frustrated.
I giggle and reach up to pat his cheek over my shoulder. “Aw, poor Sebastian.”
He grumbles under his breath and nips my shoulder. “You don’t understand. I can usually go for a long time before I come, and the times I’ve been with you, I’m coming undone within minutes.”
He pulls away, and I roll onto my back as he gets up to discard the condom. I expect him to pull on his pants and say he has to go. But he surprises me, returning to the bed, and pulls me into his side once more.
“That must be driving you crazy,” I reply with a smirk as I kiss his chest.
“It is. I guess I’ll just have to accept that when I’m buried inside you, everything is different.” He trails his fingers up and down my spine, and I close my eyes, allowing myself just to enjoy this moment between us for a few quiet minutes.
I eventually lift my head to gaze at him. “Well, you can always fuck the others when you need to draw it out.”
His expression shifts, and he raises an eyebrow. “Was that your not-so-subtle way of bringing up me sleeping with others?”
“I definitely wasn’t going for subtle. Just wanted you to know that nothing needs to change. I really am okay for you to continue sleeping with whoever you want. Just as I’m happy to have the freedom to explore, if I choose to.”
He reaches up to cup my cheek. “You’re not going to push for us to define whatever this is between us?”
I shake my head as I smile at him. “No. It’ll eventually define itself, if that’s how it’s meant to go. I know how I feel about you, and I’m working out how you feel about me. I don’t need more than that right now.”
He scans my face as his thumb slides back and forth over my cheekbone. “You really mean that, don’t you?”
“Yes. I don’t want you to change to be with me. And I’m not interested in entering another relationship that is defined by rules and jealousy. I spent too many years in one of those and am only just finding myself again.”
He pulls me down to kiss me, and I go willingly, sighing against his lips. The kiss is soft and tender, and I rest my forehead against his once it’s over.
“You are full of surprises, you know that?”
“Likewise. I was sure you’d push me away again when I walked out there last night,” I reply.
He shifts to kiss my forehead before I rest my cheek back against his chest and start tracing my finger over his abs, smiling at the trail of goosebumps that rise along it’s path.
“I just realised I can keep fighting this, or just accept that things between us were always complicated. It was getting exhausting being in denial, so I decided to surrender and see how this all unfolds,” he replies.
“Good plan. Let’s just have fun and be honest with each other from now on, okay?”
“I can do that.” He kisses the top of my head as I snuggle further into his side, content just to exist in this moment for a little longer before we need to return to reality once again.
But reality comes along a lot faster than I expected when he lets out a long breath, and I look up to see a troubled expression on his face.
“What is it?”
He hesitates for a moment, long enough for worry to start to set in while I watch him go through whatever internal battle he’s fighting.
“Daniel’s visit wasn’t just a simple check-in.”
I prop myself up on my elbow again so that I can look down at him as my fight or flight reflexes kick in. “What happened?”
I already know what he’s going to say before the words leave his mouth, but I really hope I’m wrong.
“Joseph showed up and was threatening all sorts of problems for us if we don’t hand you back over to him.”
And just like that, all the progress that I’d made over the past two months may as well have never existed.