19. Fiona
Chapter Nineteen
FIONA
We pull into the driveway as the sun starts to set.
As the house comes into view through the bare winter trees and the snow crunches under the tires, a familiar twinge of anxiety hits deep in my chest.
This trip kept Cormac and me in a bubble where we could pretend that real life didn’t exist. But now that we’re home, I can feel that the tension is back.
Whether it's subconscious or not, I’m unsure, but I can feel the walls creeping back up, reminding me that the past weeks haven’t been erased, and Cormac’s wariness is still there, simmering just beneath the surface.
Ciara is the first to greet me as I step through the front door, wiping the snow off my boots and shrugging out of my coat. She’s already dressed down for the evening, her hair wet and braided, wearing what looks like one of Ronan’s sweatshirts and a pair of flared leggings.
“How did it go?” she asks cautiously as she takes my coat, sneaking a look at Cormac, who is preoccupied with trying to wrestle Scout out of his coat.
“It was great,” I whisper so as not to draw Cormac’s attention, but Ciara doesn’t get the memo.
She immediately squeals and grabs my arm, causing Cormac’s head to snap up.
I grab Ciara’s hand and drag her toward the kitchen. “Don’t mind her, she just missed me.”
“Sorry, but I’m so happy for you guys,” Ciara says once we’re safely out of earshot, throwing her arms around me and jumping up and down.
Riley appears from the laundry room with Aubrey over her shoulder and a stack of burp cloths in one hand. “Who’s happy?”
“She’s happy that Cormac and I didn’t kill each other while we were away,” I explain.
Riley laughs as she gently strokes Aubrey’s back with her free hand. “We did discuss it at length. We came up with a list of all the ways you might try to murder Cormac and then cover it up.”
“Why was I the one committing the murder and not the other way around?”
“Because Cormac is a grumpy bastard,” Ciara says, and I swallow a laugh.
I try to fight the smile that pulls at my lips as I remember all of the fun we had. “He was anything but grumpy these last few days. He was…perfect.”
“Gross,” Ciara mutters, and I laugh.
“I’m glad you had a good time, you know, considering…” Riley starts but she quickly trails off at the look of surprise on my face. “Sorry, was I not meant to know?”
She glances nervously at Ciara, but I quickly say, “No, it’s not that. You have every right to know the truth. It’s just… I guess I should have been the one to tell you, and I didn’t. I’m sorry.”
“Me and my big mouth,” Ciara mutters.
I let go of Ciara’s arm and quickly cross over to Riley. “After everything you’ve done for me, it’s a pretty rubbish way to repay you.”
Riley waves a hand. “What’s done is done. There’s no point in making you feel any worse about it than I’m sure you already do. But I want you to know that you don’t need to hide anything from us, Fiona. We’re all on the same side.”
“I second that,” Ciara chimes in. “Like I said before, Riley and I are far from saints ourselves. We’ve all done what we needed to in order to survive.”
“But—”
Riley shakes her head. “But nothing. All is forgiven in my eyes.”
Ciara throws her arms around both of us. “Mine too.”
My throat thickens with emotion, and I struggle to find anything to say that could even begin to articulate how much they both mean to me. They were an unexpected bonus that I wasn’t expecting, and I honestly can’t remember what life was like without them.
Ciara scowls at Riley. “Enough of the heavy. I need details. Are you and Cormac officially back together, or were you just having super-hot sex and pretending not to care about each other?”
“Uh—”
Riley wrinkles her nose. “Before you answer that, I’m petitioning for us to take this conversation to the nursery. I need to deal with a diaper situation, and I’ll be damned if this baby makes me miss all the juicy gossip.”
The three of us head back out to the foyer, where chaos seems to have erupted.
Cormac has barely been able to get Scout out of his coat because he’s too caught up in filling Brennan in on every detail of our trip.
“We built an igloo!” Scout throws his arms in the air just as Cormac tries to pull off his coat.
Brennan looks genuinely impressed. “Seriously? That’s so cool.”
“But Daddy said we weren’t allowed to sleep in it.”
“That’s because your dad is a p—”
Cormac glares at his brother. “Let’s not finish that sentence.”
Scout scoffs. “It’s only fair that he calls you a name because you called him an idiot.”
Cormac curses under his breath.
Brennan rounds on Cormac. “You said what? You called me an idiot?”
I stifle a laugh as I head up the stairs behind Ciara, but Cormac still manages to catch my eye. I swear he has an unnatural ability to always seek me out.
He flashes me a wink that leaves me with butterflies in my stomach.
I’ve missed this side of Cormac so damn much. I only hope I don’t lose it again.
Cormac turns his attention back to Brennan. “It’s well deserved. You are an idiot.”
“And you’re a p—”
“Brennan! There are enough children in this house already. We don’t need you acting like one too!” Ciara yells over the banister, making him jump in fright, which is laughable, considering the horrors he’s been exposed to ever since he was old enough to walk.
Brennan scoffs. “Now you’ve got Ciara bullying me too.”
Scout pats his arm. “Don’t worry, Uncle Brennan. I won’t laugh at you.”
“Why are you laughing at me?”
“Because you just got told off by a girl.”
“Hurry up!” I hiss under my breath at Ciara. “Before Brennan loses his shit.”
We dash into the nursery and collapse onto the floor in a fit of giggles as we hear the echoes of Brennan and Cormac’s argument from the floor below.
Riley appears a few moments later, shaking her head as she fights a smile. “I’m living in a madhouse.”
Once Aubrey has been changed into a fresh outfit, Riley hands her off to me to soothe so she and Ciara can sort through the never-ending piles of clothes that are building up in the corner of the room.
Riley sighs, holding up a pink onesie. “She’s already grown out of this. As if I don’t cry enough already.”
I gently rock Aubrey back and forth. “What are you going to do with all of her old clothes?”
Her eyes are already starting to droop, and I dip my chin so I can breathe in that new baby smell.
Ciara grins. “Pass them on to you.”
“Stop that right now,” I warn her. “No way.”
“I’m just saying…”
Riley and Ciara share a look that has me rolling my eyes.
“Can we not get ahead of ourselves? Cormac and I might have managed to survive a weekend away without killing each other, but that doesn’t mean we’re ready to procreate.”
“Who is procreating?”
I stiffen at the sound of Kieran’s voice.
Glancing over my shoulder, I see him hovering in the doorway.
He immediately clocks me holding his daughter, and I catch when the muscle in his jaw flexes and his hands curl into fists.
My stomach drops.
I know that look. It’s a silent warning that I’m crossing a line.
“Uh…” I’m unsure how to diffuse the sudden tension in the air, and Kieran’s glare hasn’t softened an inch.
Riley sets her hands on her waist. “Kieran, everyone else has forgiven Fiona, and it’s about time you did too.”
Kieran scoffs, folding his arms as he continues to scowl at me. “Clearly. I knew this trip was a bad idea.”
I lift my chin at him. “I didn’t manipulate your brother into forgiving me if that’s what you're thinking.”
Kieran’s gaze flicks to his wife, and I can tell he’s mentally calculating the consequences of whatever it is he really wants to say.
“Can I talk to you in the hall?” he finally says to me through gritted teeth.
I glance at Riley, who gives me a subtle, supportive nod that tells me she will not hesitate to step in if Kieran starts crossing a line.
Ciara gets to her feet. “Let me take Aubrey.”
I don’t miss the anxious way she glances between Kieran and me as I hand the baby off to her.
I follow Kieran into the hallway, my heart racing so hard it feels like it’s going to explode out of my chest.
I knew he was going to be the hardest to convince to forgive me out of all of Cormac’s brothers, but after this weekend and getting a taste of what it is like to be a part of this family, I’m willing to put in the work to show Kieran that I’m deserving of being a Sullivan.
Kieran turns to me once we’re out of earshot of the nursery. “You’re walking a fine line. One misstep, and it’s not just Cormac who suffers.”
His tone is clipped as he gestures vaguely toward the stairs, where I catch the odd word shared between Brennan and Scout coming from the living room.
I am careful to keep my voice steady. “I understand. And I don’t expect you to simply forget what I did.”
“Good, because I haven’t.”
“But I do want you to know that all I want is to do right by all of you, and I’m not going to back down easily. Trust me, I’m in this for the long haul, so you can either fight me the entire way, or you can realize that we’re both on the same side. If not for my sake, then for Cormac’s.”
Kieran studies me for a long moment, then finally exhales as he tucks his hands into his pockets. “You have to know that I want to believe you, but…”
“You want to protect Riley and Aubrey,” I finish, and he nods. “Well, so do I.”
“I’m going to need to see it to believe it, Fiona. I don’t fall easily for false promises.”
“Then it’s a good thing I don’t make them.”
That evening, the entire Sullivan family sits around the dinner table together, including Aubrey and the twins.
I don’t think my smile falters for the entire meal, mostly because Brennan and Cormac bicker back and forth, with Scout playing the role of the middle man, leaving Ciara and me with tears in our eyes from laughing so hard.
After the plates are cleared, Ciara disappears into the kitchen and comes back, carrying a tray of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.
Scout immediately reaches for them. “Auntie Ciara, your chocolate chip cookies are the best!”
Brennan shakes his head. “Don’t believe a word this kid says. He’s fickle as shit.”
Ronan raises a brow. “What did I say about cursing in front of the kids?”
“To do more of it?”
Ciara steps up behind Ronan and wraps her arms around his neck, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Don’t push his buttons, Brennan. You know what a grumpy old man he is when it gets past his bedtime.”
“Is that code for—”
“Absolutely nothing.” Ciara pats Ronan on the arm. “I still haven’t forgiven you for making me push out twins.”
Kieran chuckles. “Rough luck, brother.”
Riley huffs. “Speak for yourself. Marrying a Sullivan should come with a warning.”
“One that warns you that your lady parts will never be the same again after birthing a giant baby.”
“And I’m done,” Brennan states, tossing his cookie onto his plate.
I take a moment to sneak a glance at Cormac, who is sitting silently beside me at the head of the table.
His eyes flick to mine, and the corner of his mouth twitches with a rare smile.
I desperately want to reach for his hand beneath the table, but I know it will only lead to more questions that I don’t feel like answering. So, instead, I keep my hands to myself and listen to the endless bickering.
“Right, time for bed,” Cormac says after Scout reaches for his third cookie.
Scout purses his lips as he immediately glances at me.
I fight a smile. “You’ve had enough cookies, so don’t think about trying to play me against your dad.”
But when Scout only looks anxiously between myself and Cormac, my stomach drops.
“Is everything okay?”
His eyes lower a bit before coming to mine again. “Can you put me to bed tonight?”
“Uh…” I hesitate.
I haven’t done Scout’s bedtime routine on my own since before we came to stay with Riley and Kieran, and especially not since he was taken by Adrian Smirnov.
I don’t want to overstep, but Scout is the one who is asking, so who am I to say no?
I glance at Cormac, trying to ignore how everyone at the table has gone quiet.
But to my surprise, Cormac offers me a subtle dip of his chin that gives me the green light, and my face breaks out into a smile.
I push my chair back from the table. “I would love to.”
As I pass Cormac, I gently brush his shoulder in a silent acknowledgment.
Even after our trip away, I know there are still a lot of hurdles we have to overcome, but him letting me have some bonding time with Scout, just the two of us, means a lot to me.
Upstairs, Scout runs ahead to his room to start brushing his teeth.
While he’s occupied, I turn on the nightlight and arrange his stuffed animals along the bottom of the bed.
When he climbs between the sheets, I pull the comforter up to his chin and perch on the edge of the mattress.
“Fiona?” Scout yawns.
“Yeah?”
“I hope you’re with my daddy forever,” he whispers as his eyes start to droop.
That was the last thing I was expecting him to say, and it takes me so much by surprise that I blink back tears.
Kids always say what they’re feeling, so the fact that I know Scout’s words are genuine makes them that much more special.
Maybe Cormac and I should take a leaf out of Scout’s book…
“I’ll try my best, Scout,” I whisper, brushing his hair back from his face.