Chapter 5
five
ORION
She’s gone and I want her back.
I wasn’t done with her.
I have no idea what happened. It was supposed to be fun—she’d let loose and I’d break up my dry spell. I hadn’t planned on a hookup so soon after arriving in Wendell Beach and starting my new life. I certainly didn’t expect to feel connected to her. To need her so much.
I tidy up the galley, washing the glasses we used. Then I make my way to the bow of the boat, with the bottle of rum in my hand. I might as well go full pirate as I think about the way she came apart. The night air is hot and sticky, the breeze off the water barely making it tolerable. I love the feel of it. I love the sound of the water hitting the hulls of the boats around me. Otherwise, it’s quiet here. Any nightlife this island has is somewhere else. This has been my life for so long. Me, alone on the Twisted Rigging . But it’s changing.
I’ve hooked up with women on my boat before and sailed around with girlfriends. When they left, either for the night or for good, it didn’t matter to me. Sure, we’d made memories together. But they hadn’t seeped into the construction of the boat. Carina rose to my every challenge. She was free with me and so utterly perfect.
I know, just as I know my own name, she’s never uninhibited like she was with me. It was in the way she laughed. The way she looked into my eyes after. She gave me something she’s never given anyone else. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve it. She was bold and brave and so fucking beautiful.
It didn’t hurt exactly when she said it would never happen again. But it felt wrong. I don’t need a relationship right now. Not with moving and getting everything squared away with the business I just bought. I want her again, and I would’ve thought she would’ve been open to the idea after I delivered two mind-blowing orgasms.
But she was out of here so fast, as if it was nothing to her.
She must be as terrified as I should be.
This feels different. I should be scared. I’m familiar with the exciting first days of chemistry with a new flame. When every movement is intense, and it feels like it’ll last forever because how could anything this good ever end?
Carina was different. Raw. I am adrift without her.
I want her back here, but I can’t chase after her.