Chapter 4
four
CARINA
This bastard made me make the first move.
His body rolls in waves beneath me.
I should have known he could get under my skin and sense what I need. As I straddle his lap and grind into his hard dick, I don’t care how he did it. Not when everything about him feels good.
I didn’t plan on this when I walked over here. I wanted my phone back. But Orion is so fucking hot, and I was open to the idea if it happened.
Nothing about this is permanent. That’s why I only do flings. I know the expectations. He doesn’t think he’s leaving me on his pile of broken hearts. Both of us walk away as equals.
He pulls back and brushes a strand of hair that escaped my ponytail behind my ear and cradles my head so I’m looking at him. “Let’s move to my cabin.”
“Yes, please. And so you know, I was tested recently too.” He gave me the courtesy of telling me his health status and I want to do the same. I also have an IUD, but I won’t mention it. I believe him, but going without the condom requires far more trust than I have. “This is a one-time thing.”
“You already said so. No need to continue trying to convince me.”
“And don’t get any ideas in your head about leaving me brokenhearted behind you.” I can do this and be flirty with him. It’s also the stubborn streak in my back. I refuse to be someone’s conquest, the fool who fell in love and got left behind.
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” His smile is devastating.
I scramble off his lap with far less grace than I would like, and as soon as I’m standing again, he is right there with me. Kissing me like he’s on a schedule and has only a little bit of time to possess me. My hands drift over his body, cataloging every muscle sailing has given him. We move to the cabin where he shuts and locks the door.
“For privacy,” he says. “Anyone can wander onto a boat.”
I nod. I trust him enough for that.
The cabin is small. The bed takes up most of it and there isn’t any space on either side of it, just more storage benches. I climb up and he follows, pulling off his T-shirt as he hovers over me. He has a tattoo of an anchor over his heart, a compass by his hip and a few others scattered that I don’t have time to examine because he’s kissing me again.
“If we’re only doing this once, then we’re doing it my way,” he says.
“Does that mean you want to tie me up?” Sailors must have a knot fetish.
“Absolutely not.” He licks my neck and I close my eyes at the sensation. “There is a time and place for that, but I want you wild and free.”
God, he feels so good against me. “What does that mean?” I ask.
“You seem really buttoned up,” he says, pulling back from me and tugging at the hem of my tank. “I’m guessing everyone you’ve been with has treated you like a princess. I saw you today. I know how strong you are, how flexible you are. You won’t break.”
I remove my sports bra as he goes for my leggings. I hate that he knows this about me already. This man who has been in my life for a few hours already sees so many things people I’ve been friends with for years have missed. Things the man I was with for years didn’t see.
“I don’t know if I’ll like it rough.”
“It doesn’t have to be rough. Just not restrained.” He has my leggings around my knees and pauses, blinking rapidly as he takes in my body. “Is the panty thing for me or a normal occurrence?”
I laugh as I help him pull the leggings off. “No, they leave lines. My leggings are designed?—”
He waves me off, tossing the leggings to the floor with the rest of my clothes. “Shhhh…explain clothing manufacturing to me after orgasms.”
He stretches across the bed and moves me to my side, placing himself behind me. I shiver in his arms as he does nothing except hold me for a moment, his erection hard against my back.
He kisses my neck, seemingly fascinated by the skin there. “This only works if you’re honest with me, okay?”
“Okay,” I say. He’s constantly asking for my honesty. I didn’t realize how much I had been denying it to everyone or understand why I’m willing to expose myself to him when I was so afraid of him seeing weakness before.
“I have a feeling I know what will make you feel good, but I can be an ass, so I might be wrong,” he continues.
“I’ll tell you.” My legs shake as he moves his callused hand down my side, momentarily stopping to trace my constellation tattoo, the only one I have, then to my waist and between my legs. My breath catches. Instead of going where I want him, he hooks my leg over his, so I’m spread open.
His touch is light as he resumes his journey, happy that I’m now completely where he wants me. “You’re so fucking sexy,” he says. His fingers brush my clit and where I’m wet. After the heat that brought us here, I expected rough and fast. But he’s slow and gentle and it feels so good.
His other arm goes around me so I’m plastered against his chest. I can’t move. I’m trapped with him. And I feel so completely safe.
Not necessarily because of him. No, he’s dangerous. He could make me fall in an instant. I could drown in him without realizing it. But I’ve made my rules. They will keep me afloat.
“How’s your endurance?” he asks.
“Hmmm?” I don’t understand. He dips a finger at my entrance but doesn’t penetrate.
“How long can you last while I tease you?”
I orgasm fine, either by myself or with a partner. “I don’t know.”
“I can do this all night,” he declares. He gathers my wetness and gives my clit the faintest of touches. “Getting you so close you beg.”
I whimper at the thought.
“Maybe I have other ideas.” He enters me with a finger and I moan. “Fuck, you’re so responsive. I love it.”
I was soaked already. He slides in and out so easily, adding another finger. He plays for a moment, his thumb on my clit finding a perfect rhythm as his fingers work inside me. I shouldn’t trust a stranger like this. I shouldn’t be open, but he wrenches it out of me. I can’t deny him.
It’s not sex I need. It’s him. It’s Orion.
His other hand plays with my nipple, pinching it harder than I’m used to, but I like it. With the way he has me, I’m completely at his mercy. But all he cares about is making me feel good.
My orgasm builds. I’m almost embarrassed at how fast it happens. Right before I’m pushed over, he removes his hand from me.
“Fuck.” I squeeze his arm.
How did he know?
“Not yet.” He kisses the side of my neck.
“Why not?” I reach to put his hand back where it was.
“Beg,” he commands.
“No.” But I want to. This is new for me. Games in bed that are for my pleasure, not his. A challenge about me breaking in ecstasy, rather than how much I can bend for someone else.
If I drag this out a little longer, I’ll be rewarded.
He nibbles my earlobe. “Come on, Carina. Be a good girl and beg. I bet you do it perfectly.”
I haven’t felt such clarity as I do in this moment with him. We’re both playing a role with each other. We both want this, and he could thrust into me easily. But he’s not getting me ready to take him. He’s enjoying giving me pleasure. The game makes everything better.
He’s right—I hide from everyone else. I’m terrified of anyone seeing my flaws. I can be perfect for him and give him what he wants. He’s already stripped me down. I don’t have to be afraid of him.
“Please, Orion. I need you.”
He turns my head to face his and kisses my lips. At the same time, his other hand resumes its position in me. “Good girl,” he whispers. It only takes a few touches on my clit before I come hard. My entire body tense, and then relaxed, and I feel completely wrapped up in him.
I catch my breath as he holds me against his chest.
“Glad your phone got left behind?” he whispers as he peppers my neck with light kisses.
“I’m starting to wonder if you hid it to get me here.”
“I’ll manipulate you in bed, but never out of it. I don’t have the energy for that.”
“Good.” I move onto my back and inch away from him slightly. I want a better look at him. He’s about to be inside me. I want to memorize his face.
The lights are low in the cabin. It’s dark outside, but I see enough. I love the lines of his jaw and his perfect amount of scruff. What I can’t wrap my head around is the look he’s giving me. Like I matter to him.
This is supposed to be transactional. We both get off and move on. But he’s not looking at me like it’s a transaction and this doesn’t feel empty.
He grabs the condom and pulls his shorts down. The anticipation builds in my stomach.
This could wreck me. I take a deep breath and remind myself of my rules. It’s one time. He won’t get under my skin if I don’t let him.
His cock is out, and I reach to stroke it while he unwraps the condom. It’s heavy and thick and suddenly the stretching he did with his fingers feels necessary.
I’m relaxed and feel like I’d do anything to have him. I’ll beg again if he asks.
Once he’s sheathed himself, I lie back on the bed.
“How are you doing this?” I ask.
He follows me down, his body hovering over mine as he casually tosses one of my legs over his shoulder and then wraps the other around his hip.
He leans down, pushing my knee to my shoulder, somehow knowing it’s an easy position for me. “You think you’re not an active participant in this?”
I’m not passive in bed. But most men I’ve been with haven’t given me much to work with—we pick one position and ride it out until he orgasms. They take advantage of my flexibility to get a good look at my ass while they’re in me and it works for them. I can get myself off.
Orion slowly eases his cock into me. “Fuck.” I grab his shoulders as he stretches me past the point I’m used to.
“Breathe through it. You can take it.”
“Arrogant bastard,” I murmur.
He smiles and then kisses me. “I’m only as good as the woman I’m with.”
“Oh fuck off.” I laugh. He’s fun to be with.
“You want me to go?” He starts to pull out.
“No!” I grab onto his biceps and pull him back until his pelvis hits my clit. I suck in a breath and close my eyes with contentment.
I expect him to start thrusting, but he stills, his hands on my hips.
After a long moment, I open my eyes. “Are you going to do something?”
“I was waiting on you.”
“For what?”
“To move. Show me what you got, Carina.”
I kind of hate his arrogant, sexy ass, but I love the way he’s making me smile. I want to let loose and have fun and he’s already balls deep in me. Maybe I suck at sex. If it turns out I do, I’m sure he’ll take over and make it good for both of us. This is a man who takes care of the woman he’s with.
I swivel my hips and we both moan at the sensation. He answers by thrusting in and out of me like I wanted. He brushes my clit exactly right and he’s hitting a place deep inside me everyone else has missed.
“Fuck, just like that. Don’t stop,” I groan. He thrusts deeper and I swear I see stars. I didn’t think I would come again, but it’s building, and I don’t know if I can handle it.
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” One of his hands moves from my hip to my breast and lightly rubs my nipple. I expect him to go hard like he did before, but this caress is different. A contrast to his hard thrusts.
This is us. Together. It’s not him fucking me or the other way around. We’re both making this happen.
“Fuck, Orion. I’m so close!”
“I know, princess. You can do this. Let yourself have this.”
When was the last time I let myself have anything?
He licks his finger and places it where our bodies meet and all it takes is a tiny bit of pressure and everything inside me explodes.
My orgasm goes on for ages.
I swear it’s a spiritual experience.
I’m barely aware of anything else except the constant pulse of Orion between my legs as he shifts them so they both wrap around his hips, and he lowers himself, until his body is flush with mine. I hold him tight, his face buried in my neck. Every part of me needs to feel him.
His movements become ragged, his breath faster. His muscles tense under my hands. I squeeze his hips with my thighs.
“Fuck!” he growls, and his entire body shakes as he comes.
When we both finally still, I’m aware of the sweat covering us. I could feel self-conscious, but I don’t.
He doesn’t speak. Instead, he brushes back the hair that’s fallen in my face.
“I…” I don’t know how to react.
“Yeah…” he agrees.
We pause, taking each other in. I should look away. But I stare into his eyes, their brown waiting for me to tell him how good it was. How I’m changed by it.
Fuck, it was. But I can’t say it.
He has to feel it too. I can’t risk finding out that was an ordinary fuck to him. I have to take control.
“This was a one-time thing,” I say when he’s still in me.
“Right.” His tone is as cold as I feel when he pulls out.
I grab my clothes and retreat to the bathroom. It’s tiny and I barely have room to maneuver, but I don’t want to get dressed in front of him. My hands shake. I’ve never felt anything like that before. It wasn’t the orgasm, but the connection I felt with him. I should say something to him, to know if he feels the same. I’ll be devastated if I am just another lay to him.
But it doesn’t matter anyway. I’m sure I’ll see him around. It’s not like he wants a relationship. I’m not ready for one that so obviously will end.
I open the door and he’s back in his shorts and T-shirt, adjusting the sheets on the bed.
“Is that a sailor thing? Make the bed as soon as you’re out of it?”
He smiles, and I’m devastated anyway. “Yeah, old habit. Small space.”
“Well, I should go. It’s been a long day and I have to be up in the morning.”
“I’ll walk you home,” he offers.
“It’s fine. It’s not late and the area is safe.” I grab my purse from the kitchen and double-check I have my phone. “I’ll see you around.”
Before he gets the chance to protest, I climb the stairs and am gone.