Chapter 34
thirty-four
ORION
The Lost Craft Charters shop is a total money grab—we stock the things guests forget, put our logo on it, and then overcharge. Plus, souvenirs and popular resort wear.
Our Nebula Athletics order came in. I’m pleased it’s selling so well. It’ll be another few weeks before we have our branded gear, but I like having a piece of Carina around me.
“Ohh. I love this brand,” a woman from my last tour shrieks as she scours the rack with her friends.
I force myself to keep my smile internal as I review the sailing schedule. I’m so proud of Carina. If she’d let me, I’d spend all my time talking about how amazing my girlfriend’s clothing is.
And she’d deny almost every word of my praise.
“Oh no,” her friend bemoans. “They claim to use recycled stuff, but it’s a lie. I watched a whole video on it this morning. I’m boycotting.”
My ears start ringing, matched with a twisted feeling in my gut. Like the boat I’m on has suddenly been hit with fifteen-foot waves.
That can’t be right. Carina wouldn’t lie. Sustainability is important to her. They must be wrong. There is some kind of mix-up. She’d be devastated if this was true.
“I’ll be in my office,” I tell Nathan, who’s staffing the cash register, and head to the dock for some quiet. The Twisted Rigging is at the end, and I’m drawn to her. She’s my safe space, and even if everything here in Wendell Beach fell apart, I will always have my boat.
I head out of the sun and into the galley and pull out my phone, searching social media.
It doesn’t take me long.
Fuck.
Fuck .
Countless videos pop up showing how the current line is made from a different fabric. A TikTok materials expert demonstrates there’s no way it’s made from what the company claims it is.
I can’t imagine she isn’t aware, but I need to be sure.
We don’t call each other often. It’s always texting. But I need to hear her voice.
The phone rings, and when she answers, she sounds tired. “Hey.”
“Hey, I’m sure you know?—”
She doesn’t let me finish. “Fuck, Orion. How do you know?”
“Some charter guests were looking at the display. A woman mentioned seeing a video.”
She’s crying. It’s the worst fucking sound in the universe. Worse than the sound of wood cracking on a ship. Worse than the keel hitting ground. “I didn’t know any of this. My supplier changed without telling me.”
“I know, princess. You wouldn’t do this on purpose. Are you at the office? Home?” I check my watch. “Do you want me to bring you dinner?” I need to be in the same space as she is.
She’s stopped crying. “Dinner would be great. I’m at the office.”
“I’ll get you the chicken you like from Paradise,” I offer. I don’t know what she feels for me, but I can take care of her body. Usually it’s sex, but today it can be food.
“I have to go. I have another call coming in.” She hangs up before I can respond.
I grab the food from Paradise and head over to her office. It’s busier than the last time I was here. Stacy and Jeannette talk to a young woman outside Carina’s office.
“I brought Carina dinner.” I hold up the bag. Paradise uses compostable takeout containers. I’m sure it was Carina’s influence.
“Um…let me see if she’s available,” the woman I don’t know says. All three women look confused. They probably aren’t aware I’m her neighbor. I’m only the captain of the boat they took once, if they remember me at all.
Carina pops her head out of her office. “It’s fine, Mackenzie. He can come back.”
She’s so fucking beautiful. I can’t believe she’s mine.
I close the door behind me and pull Carina into my arms. She must have gotten off a video call or done some filming because her makeup is perfect, and her eyes aren’t puffy like after a cry.
“It’ll be okay,” I assure her.
She pulls away. “No, it won’t. I don’t know how I’ll redeem the company after this. And it’s not just the brand. It’s me. My customers hate me.”
I take her phone out of her hand and set it on her desk. “It’s one day. You will fix the problem and you will regain their trust.”
“How can you be so sure? You don’t even know what the problem is.”
“But I know you, Carina. You’re a force of nature. You’ve never met a problem you couldn’t solve.”
“What if I can’t fix this?”
“Then we take the Twisted Rigging out, and I make you forget everything terrible that’s ever happened.”
She smiles, however forced. She accepts the food container and sits down at her desk. “Did you get something for you?”
“No, I didn’t want to distract you.” I didn’t know if she’d want me to stay.
“What if I want you to sit here while I eat?”
“Then I’ll sit.” I take the seat across from her as she opens up the box. “Do you want to talk about it?” As long as I’ve known her, she doesn’t like to talk about her problems, at least not without serious coaxing. She’d prefer to hide behind arguments with me or by distracting everyone else by doing something so perfect that no one notices she did something wrong or that something is bothering her. That won’t work with us anymore. We breached a new level in our relationship when my sister visited. She doesn’t want to acknowledge it, but we are in a relationship. This is a partnership.
It’s only a matter of time before I’ll be able to get her to admit it.
It has to happen before the wedding. I was serious when I told her I can’t be around her and the love on display and pretend I’m not sleeping with her.
I can barely pretend to her face that I’m not in love with her.
She sighs, which I think is a sign she wants to let something off her chest. “I drafted a statement. We didn’t know. We trusted our supplier. We apologize our quality control didn’t catch this. People will get full refunds. They don’t even have to send the clothing back because that would be a waste of resources.”
“How long before you can resupply?”
“I can’t. Not in time to be meaningful.” She shakes her head. “We slashed the prices on the website to liquidate it. It’s not the whole line, regardless of what people say. Some people will buy because they are still good clothes. That, you know, polluted a river to get made.”
I care about the river, I really do. But I care about Carina more. “Okay, it’s not everything. What about future seasons?”
“It’s isolated. Plenty of items weren’t affected. But of course no one will believe us.”
I won’t manage her feelings. I know better. But I want to soothe her ache any way I can. She needs to talk this out. I can give her the space to do so.
“I lost the trust of my entire customer base.” Carina looks like she’s holding up now. Like she’s accepted what has happened. But it’s a lie.
It’s not the money, although I’m sure she’s concerned about her employees. It’s the trust in the community she built. The community that shares the values they believe have been betrayed.
This could break her. I can’t let that happen.
“Whatever you need, I’m here for you,” I say. It’s shallow and an echo of what I really want to say.
I love you. I’m not your partner in business, but I am your partner in life. I can take some of the burden for you.
But I don’t think now is the time.
“I know, and I appreciate it,” she replies, but it sounds hollow. Like she’s responding to someone who means nothing to her.
She finishes her meal. I take my cue to leave. “Do you want to come over tonight?” We spend most nights together. It would be weird at this point for us to be separate.
It’s getting habitual. It’s getting comfortable.
My past relationships have been nonstop heat and adrenaline. Sure, some were longer lasting. But I’ve never felt the comfortable quiet I feel with her. The heat is better than I’ve ever had, but the space between is as important.
I need her to breathe. I need her around me. There is no getting out of this for me. This won’t burn out. This won’t ebb. This will never dissipate.
She squints her eyes. “Can we do my place? I’ll probably log back in.”
“Text me when you leave,” I answer. It’s not quite enough for me. I want a key to her place. I want to live in the same place as her.
I want her home to be my home.
But she’ll never accept that. Not when she’s convinced it could fail. She won’t take another risk when she’s had one fall apart.
I pause in the doorway, looking back at her as she turns her focus to her computer. “We could leave now. Head south on the Rigging .”
She just shakes her head.
I smile at her, but I no longer have her attention so she doesn’t notice.