Chapter 18
eighteen
Fletcher
They’re not going to go in your master bathroom, Mom,” I groan, following her into her room. “And I assure you they won’t care that your laundry basket is full.”
“Do you even remember what Tate’s house looked like, Fletcher? It looks like a goddamn museum over there. The least I can do is make our house look clean.”
“In all fairness, your basement is a complete construction zone, so you have a reason for the mess.”
“Oh, my goodness, the basement.” She freezes. “What if they go down into the basement? I don’t know how it was left a couple of days ago; I haven’t been down there since they started working again two weeks ago.”
“Mom, I promise you, if her parents say anything, it’s not on you. That’s just how they are.”
I don’t think Mr. Lewis would say anything.
He’s always been pretty friendly, but I understand why Tate’s mom stresses her out.
She’s always saying things that seem like a jab, but she does it with a smile on her face.
I don’t think I noticed it back in high school, but I’ve become increasingly aware of it over the years.
“You’re right. There’s no reason to freak out. We have a full house, and it is what it is.”
“Exactly. So, let's head downstairs and help Mama finish preparing the appetizers, okay?”
“Okay.” I wrap my arm around her shoulders and walk us downstairs. By the time we reach the bottom, the nerves seem to have dissipated, and she walks straight into the kitchen and gets to work.
We don’t always have Christmas Eve with Tate’s family. I honestly don’t even know when it started; I just know we rarely do it at their house. I think they’re worried one of the kids will destroy something, which is fair.
Whenever we do have Christmas Eve with Tate’s family, we dress up. We’re usually a pajama-all-day kind of family, but our moms told us we can handle one day dressed up, and then we can be a pajama-all-day family on Christmas.
She bribes the younger kids with candy. Not only to dress up but to be on their best behavior.
The doorbell rings, and my mom takes a deep breath.
“They’re here.” I smile. “I’ll get the door.”
I smooth out my shirt as I walk toward the front door. As I open it, Tate’s eyes widen, almost as if she’s warning me about the day we’re going to have.
“Merry Christmas.” I step back far enough that they can squeeze by me, but still in view.
“Look at you, Fletcher. I swear you get taller every time I see you.” Mr. Lewis pats me on the back as he walks by me.
“Dad, he’s literally been this height since the eighth grade.” Tate rolls her eyes, and I flick her as she walks by.
“Ninth, thank you very much.”
“Fletcher.” Naomi stops in front of me and then pulls me in for a hug. My eyes meet Tate's, and she just holds her hands up. Her way of saying she has no idea what’s gotten into her sister. “It’s been too long.”
“Yeah. How’s Manhattan?”
“It’s great, actually. We really love it there.”
“Glad to hear it.”
“Hey man, I’m Ethan.” Ethan extends his hand, and I shake it.
“I think you’ve met him, sweetie. Or maybe not. It’s been a while since Ethan has come here with me for a holiday.”
“Well, either way, it’s nice to see you. I take it those are your parents?”
“They are.” Ethan shuts the door behind him. “And not to sound mean or anything, but from what Naomi’s mom said yesterday, I was sure we were going to walk into a world of chaos.”
“Huh.” I glance at Tate. “I guess we’re a little more well-mannered on holidays. Please make yourself comfortable; appetizers are available in the kitchen. Chase and Stella are in there too, so you’ll have some people your age to chat with.”
“Perfect. Thank you, Fletcher.”
As they disappear into the kitchen, Tate walks over to me.
“I remember your sister being meaner.” I cross my arms. “That was weird.”
“I don’t know what’s gotten into her. I don’t know if it’s because Ethan’s parents are normal, and she wants to make sure she doesn’t show them a different side of herself, or what.”
“Also, your mom warned them about my family?! We aren’t animals. Our house isn’t pure chaos.”
“I don’t know. I tried to block out most of yesterday. Do you know I’m sleeping in the basement?”
“Why not in your room?”
“Naomi and Ethan are in my room.”
My eyebrows knit together. “Why aren’t they in her room?”
“Let’s just say her room is now the guest room, the old guest room is now my mom’s office, and I’m banished to the basement.”
“Sorry, T.”
“And get this, I was all for it. I was like, maybe this will be perfect because I can kind of seclude myself from everything, you know, work on my music and just relax. I went down to the basement last night, and it’s not even a pull-out couch.
It’s one of those sectionals that you can rearrange or whatever, but they had to send back some pieces because they came in broken, and they’re on back order. ”
“Okay?”
“So, try being five-foot-nine and sleeping on a sectional that’s only three pieces long. And one of those pieces is the corner. It’s the smallest L-shaped couch I’ve ever seen.”
“You know you’re always welcome here.”
“I think my mom would kill me if I decided to stay here. Also, I kind of hate that there’s no running around. Your house feels too much like mine right now.”
“You take that back right now,” I whisper, following Tate into the kitchen.
Things seem to be going okay. Everyone is chatting. Ethan’s parents are talking to mine as they finish getting the food into the oven. Tate’s dad is chatting with Chase and Ethan while Naomi chats with Stella.
Tate’s mom just stands awkwardly at the end of the island. I guess she’s not used to a house this full or having casual conversations. It’s hard to hang out with people and make friends when your whole life revolves around work.
Once she sees Tate, she lifts a finger and motions for Tate to come over.
I follow.
“What’s up, Mom?”
“They bought these cookies at Jewel.” The statement is cold.
“Okay.” Tate’s head falls slightly to the side.
“They didn’t even make them.”
“I don’t see the problem.”
“They’re store-bought.”
“People tend to do that around the holidays. They’re one of the only things they didn’t make.”
I like how Tate defends my family. Not that I thought she wouldn’t; in many ways, they’re her family, too.
“Tate and I picked them up yesterday. My moms were worried we wouldn’t have enough desserts, so we grabbed some cookies and ice cream. But there are six homemade pies, two pumpkin cakes, and two cheesecakes.”
“Hm.” She gives a soft smile and then walks over to where her husband is.
“Hm?” I eye Tate.
“Welcome to my world.”
“I don’t know how you survived.”
“I wouldn’t have if I didn’t have your family. You guys kept me sane.”
“We kept you sane?” My eyes widen. “Nobody has ever said that.”
“Most of the people in your life come from a normal family, so to them, your family is insane. I’d take overbearing love over distant parenting any day.”
“Fair.”
She squeezes my shoulder and then joins Naomi and Stella across the kitchen.
Stella’s eyes meet mine, and she wiggles her eyebrows.
I flip her off and then head to the fridge and grab a drink.
If I have four more hours with Mrs. Lewis, I know I’m going to need it.
You look nice.” Stella leans against the door frame of my door. “What are you and Tate getting up to tonight?”
“Nothing, actually. We were supposed to get together with a girl we went to high school with, but she called a couple of hours ago and said she wasn’t feeling great.”
“She did, did she?” She crosses her arms, her eyes narrowing at me.
“What did I do wrong now?”
“Did you think that maybe she was worried she’d feel like a third wheel?”
“Why? It’s not like Casey and I are dating.”
“Wait, Casey Hill?”
My face twists.
“Yeah. How do you know who Casey Hill is?”
“Fletcher, she started dating Tate’s first-ever boyfriend, not even a week after they broke up. Did you ever think that maybe she doesn’t want to hang out with someone who dated her ex right after they broke up?”
“Okay, first of all, Tate has always told me that she and Lucas weren’t really vibing and that he was better suited for Casey. Second of all, why do you even know that?”
“Chase and I might’ve graduated years before you guys were in high school, but who do you think Tate talked to about going on her first date with this guy?”
“So, you know why they broke up then?”
She walks into my room, sitting in my desk chair.
“Sure. Probably about the same amount of information that you know.”
“So, you know that the breakup didn’t bother her. Honestly, it was refreshing because everything went back to normal between our group.”
“You felt like the group got weird?” Her eyebrows knit together.
“I guess.” I shrug. “It started when I started dating Ester, but I think I was just so wrapped up in being in a relationship, I lost myself. And then she started dating Lucas, and it felt like we hardly saw each other or the group. After we were both single, things went back to normal.”
“Why do you think things were weird when you were in relationships?”
“We were both consumed by them. We forgot what was really important, our friendships, you know? Tate, Brinley, and the guys will always be there. Girlfriends… maybe… maybe not.”
“And you think things between you and Tate will be okay if you go out with Casey tonight?”
I wet my lips, leaning against a wall.
“Why wouldn’t they be? We’re adults now; I don’t think we’d let relationships consume our whole lives anymore.”
“If I tell you something, will you promise me you never bring it up to Tate?”
I push off the wall and take a few hesitant steps toward Stella.
“What’s going on?”
“Tate wasn’t upset that you were spending all of your time with Ester in high school,” she begins. “Well, I guess she was, but not for the reason you think.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Tate was jealous because you were dating somebody who wasn’t her.
Not because you became consumed by that relationship.
She only started dating Lucas because she needed to move on from you.
That’s why they broke up so close to when you and Ester broke up.
He realized she was never really interested in him like that. ”
I scratch the top of my head.
“I appreciate you telling me this, Stels, I do. But even if Tate did have feelings for me then, she doesn’t now. I would know if she did. Hell, Brinley would know if she did, and Brinley becomes the ultimate matchmaker when it comes to our friend group.”
“Okay.” She pats her legs and then stands up. “I just wanted you to know.”
“Thanks, really, but we’ve both been in a relationship since Ester and Lucas, and since we kissed, and those ones were fine. They didn’t create a distance between us, you know why, because we were no longer stupid kids trying to navigate a romantic relationship for the first time.”
“Okay,” she repeats. “You’re right. I don’t know how things are now. Have a good time tonight.”
“Thanks.”
I watch Stella leave my room and grab a jacket from my bag.
The guys always told me that Tate had feelings for me in high school; I just assumed they were teasing me because they knew I kind of had feelings for her.
It feels weird to know that she actually admitted to Stella that the reason things were awkward between her and Ester was because she wanted to be the one I was dating.
But we’re past that.
Those feelings are gone because if they weren’t, she would’ve kissed me on the night of the banquet. She would’ve risked it all because she could’ve blamed it all on the alcohol if I didn’t feel the same way. But she didn’t.
She closed the book on the idea of that… of us… again.
It’s time for me to realize Tate and I aren’t going to happen. We aren’t going to be the next Stella and Chase.
It’s time for me to move on.
And tonight—
I plan to.