Chapter 29
Calla
Itighten my grip on my bouquet of faux flowers, trying to remain as still as possible while the makeup artist reapplies my lip gloss. It does no good. Not with the way the wind is blowing, sending my freshly curled hair into disarray, strands becoming stuck to my lips.
She huffs, spinning on her heel to talk to the wedding photographer.
“Doesn’t she know we can’t control the wind?” Shelby asks, standing beside me looking beautiful in her matching bridesmaid’s dress.
I hum, unable to find the energy to form words.
“Can’t they hurry up?” Carmen mutters.
It’s the day of Carmen’s wedding, which should mean being inside the church right about now, walking out down the aisle. But instead, we’ve been shoved outside to wait on the steps while the vicar prepares something inside.
I smooth down the satin material of my dress, frowning at a crease I find. Why didn’t I steam it out?
A strong gust of wind blows across my bare shoulders, creating gooseflesh and picking up the skirt of our dresses. It won’t be long before the leaves are changing, turning golden and brown. A sure sign that summer is over, and autumn is on its way.
“You okay?” Shelby whispers, keeping her voice low so as to not attract anyone else’s attention.
I watch the makeup artist try to tackle Carmen’s lip stick too, failing and moving to reapply a pretty peach blush instead, before I answer. “Not really.”
“Have you heard from him?”
I shake my head.
“He’ll be here,” Shelby promises with a squeeze of her hand, but I’m not so sure.
I walk a few steps, testing out my heels, to the church balcony. Just the like the church itself, the balcony is just as beautiful; old and ornate with decorated balustrades depicting stone roses and thorns. I reach out and trace one, inhaling the last of the warm summer air.
Behind me the groomsmen stand not too far away in a separate group, laughing and joking, passing around a small hipflask of something. There should be five of them – one for each of us bridesmaids – but one of them is missing.
“If you would like to take up your positions,” calls a tall, stern looking woman, her grey hair pulled back into a tight bun. “The vicar is ready to for today’s ceremony.”
Carmen squeals excitedly and I can’t help but smile for her.
Today is going to be the biggest day of her life so far, so no matter how much I’m hurting, my heart feeling like it’s breaking, I’m going to paint on a grin and pretend like I’m enjoying every minute of it.
My friends begin to line up in the order they’ve been carefully placed – a bridesmaid coupled with their groomsman. Following in their footsteps, I take my position, forth in line, just before the bride herself, who links an arm with her dad.
I swallow back the second pang of pain ricocheting across my heart.
“Excuse me, miss?”
I turn back around to find the stern, grey haired woman, gesturing to the empty space beside me that I’ve been trying desperately to ignore. “Where is your groomsman?”
The chatter in front of me ceases.
It feels like time stands still until someone, anyone, finally finds their tongue.
“He isn’t—” Shelby starts before she’s quickly interrupted by the thunder of running feet and a voice.
“I’m here. I’m here! Sorry, I’m late.”
I peer over my shoulder to see Blake running across the manicured lawn, his suit jacket flying in the wind behind him.
“Oh my god,” Carmen utters, but I hardly pay her any attention.
I feel like I’m floating as I step out of line, moving to meet Blake halfway down the stone church steps.
“You’re here.”
Blake nods. “I’m here.”
“I wasn’t sure you’d be coming.”
“I promised you and I don’t break my promises, remember?” He brushes the backs of his fingers down the curve of my cheek, drawing a pleased hum from the base of my throat. I want to kiss him so bad, to raise up on my tiptoes and—
“Places please!” The stern usher claps her hands startling me out of my reverie. Soft music begins to swell from inside the church, eliciting a blanket of excitement over the wedding party.
I can’t believe after months of planning, organising and orchestrating the perfect day, this is it, the big day.
Grinning, I reposition my grip on the bouquet with one hand and link my other through Blake’s arm.
I float down the aisle behind my friends, feeling like I’m on cloud nine. When we reach the end, I press my lips to Blake’s without a second thought. He squeezes my waist, grazing the shell of my ear with his mouth. “I’m in love with you, Calla Becker.”
He steps away to take his seat, while I’m herded into my designated spot at the altar behind Carmen.
“Dearly beloved,” begins the priest, “we are gathered here today…”
The rest of the ceremony is a whirlwind of wet eyes and smiles as I watch my best friend marry the love of her life.
I throw confetti over a grinning Carmen and Jake with tears streaming down my face, much to the annoyance of the makeup artist who has to retouch up my face before the photographer snaps his pictures.
But I don’t care.
Banding my arm around Carmen and the other bridesmaids, I laugh and grin my way through a series of posed photographs until my cheeks physically ache.
“You looked so beautiful up there, Car,” I gush to my best friend when we have a heartbeat’s downtime while the photographer grabs something from his truck.
She smiles, squeezing my hand. “It’ll be you up there next.”
I choke out a watery laugh. “More like Shelby.”
“Maybe, maybe not. The look on his face says he’s done playing around.” Carmen tips her chin over my shoulder.
I spin to find Blake watching up, his hands deep in his tailored trouser pockets.
“Go get your man.” Carmen squeezes my fingers again. “And don’t forget to thank me when you catch this tonight.”
She shakes her bouquet, pulling a laugh from my chest, before she gives me a little shove.
I take off running, my heels sinking into the lush lawn, the skirts of my dress flying behind me and crash into Blake’s waiting arms. He scoops me up, cradling the back of my head with one of his large hands, the other pinching my chin.
“I meant what I said at the altar, I’m in love with you, Calla Becker. I have been since the day we met.”
A fresh surge of tears prick my waterline. Thank fuck for lash extensions and waterproof mascara.
“Why didn’t you say something? Why did you agree to fake date me if that’s how you felt?”
“Because I thought it was the only way to have you.”
I shake my head vehemently, licking my lips and tasting the salt from my tears there.
“I thought it was the only way for someone like me to have someone like you.”
I ache to touch him, to smooth back his fringe from his forehead.
So, I do.
“It’s not true,” I sniff, tracing my fingertips down his nose, his lips, the sharp line of his jaw. “Someone like you… you mean kind and funny, patient and thoughtful. Handsome.”
Blake’s eyes shutter closed, his lips pressing together.
“Gentle and selfless,” I continue. “Warm, compassionate, worthy of so much, of everything good this world has to offer. That’s who you are, Blake Millen.”
I flatten my palm to feel Blake’s heart beating beneath his starched white shirt. “And I wish you’d be mine.”
He flicks those pretty green eyes open, glassy with unshed tears. “I’ve always been yours, Calla.”
I swallow thickly, shaking my head. “It was a stupid idea to even try and deny the connection between the two of us. I’m sorry I asked that of you. I can’t tell you how many times when we were together, that I wished we were real.”
“Sunshine…”
“For what it’s worth, I am really sorry for putting you in that position. For using you to get Thomas off my back, without even—”
“You didn’t use me. I offered.” Blake cups my jaw with his palms. “And I would offer again and again and again. I wouldn’t change our story for the world, Calla, because it’s ours.
Mine and yours. I’m sorry for the way I acted when I saw that video.
I’m sorry for not coming to you first so I could hear you out. I’m sorry for—”
I stroke his cheekbone with the pad of my thumb. “No more sorry’s, okay. I get why you acted the way you did. We could do better on our communication, but—”
Blake’s laugh rumbles through me, creating gooseflesh upon my upper arms and chest. “You could say that again.”
Swaying in my heels, I turn to rest my cheek upon Blake’s heart space, my arms banding around his trim waist.
“You smell so good,” I mutter, closing my eyes when a gust of September wind blows across us.
“So do you.”
“I missed you so much, Blake. God, why can’t I stop crying today!”
A familiar large palm smooths down the curve of my skull, while gripping my hip. “I missed you too, sunshine. Look at me.”
My blue eyes meet his green ones.
“I want to date you, Calla Becker. To be with you.”
My heart skips inside my chest. “What are you asking me?”
“Will you be my girlfriend? For real this time. Say yes, Calla.”
Rising onto my tiptoes, I capture Blake’s lips with mine, tangling our tongues together. “Of course I will. I love you. I’m sorry it’s taken us this long to get to this point.”
“No more sorry’s, remember.” Blake nudges his nose with mine, his hands wandering down to squeeze my arse. Behind us, I hear my friends cheer and whistle.
“Ignore them,” I mutter against his lips.
“Say it again.”
“I love you, Blake.”
“I love you too, sunshine.”