Chapter 6
Rocky called an emergency meeting for the executive members of Onyx City Mayhem. I was ready to paint the city red, looking for Preston, but I’d been doing this shit long enough to know I couldn’t move that recklessly.
“I’m ready to make a move,” I said.
“I understand, but if you strike back, we’ll be at war again,” Pastor Marvin said.
“They made the first move when that nigga snatched Rose,” I reminded him.
“Did he take her under Carl’s direction?” Joe, the club’s enforcer, asked.
“I don’t give a fuck. If they can’t control the niggas in their organization, they have to deal with the consequences of said nigga’s actions,” I barked.
“I agree,” Rocky said.
“This is the third time somebody from the Riders has disregarded protocol in the past three years. I won’t let this shit slide. Preston Williams will die, and I will be the one to kill him, whether y’all with me or not.”
“We’re with you,” Joe was the first to say.
“We’re with you,” Pastor Marvin said.
Everyone else at the table agreed, and we strategized. About ten minutes into it, Rocky’s phone rang. He picked it up and looked at the screen, then looked back at us.
“It’s Carl,” he announced before answering and putting it on speaker.
Carl was the president of the Westside Riders.
“Rocky,” my brother spoke in a serious tone.
“Can we meet?”
“You know where to find me.”
“In a neutral zone.”
“Nah.”
There was a brief silence on the other end for a minute.
“Fine. What time?”
“Now. Come alone.”
Rocky ended the call before Carl could respond again.
“I will kill every member of their organization until I find the nigga I want. The only way that won’t happen is if they bring him to me,” I said.
“Fair enough. I’ll let him know,” Rocky assured me.
We discussed some other business while we waited for Carl. Twenty minutes later, Rocky’s phone rang again. Joe, Noel, and Semiyon went to the door.
A few minutes later, they returned with Carl and walked him to the front of the room. Noel and Semiyon remained on either side of Carl, while Joe sat a few feet away.
“We’re listening,” Rocky stated.
“The directive didn’t come from me or any of our executive members.”
“You know what I’m thinking, Carl. Maybe it’s time for you to step down and hand over the reins to someone who demands authority.
Not once, not twice, but three times now, members of your organization have made major moves without your permission.
If the shoe was on the other foot, how would you respond? ” I asked.
“If we go to war, it won’t be a fair fight,” he said.
“Let’s face it. It’s never been a fair fight.
We’ve always been the stronger club, but at this point, I’m ready to wipe you niggas out completely.
We had over a decade of peace with no open conflict, but we’ve had three in three years because you’re a piss poor leader, and your people don’t respect you.
Your only option to end this shit with the least amount of bloodshed is if you bring him to me. ”
“I don’t know where he is.”
“You have forty-eight hours to deliver him. The clock starts now.”
“What are you still doing up?” I asked Rose when I entered the bedroom.
“Waiting for you.”
I kissed her forehead, then undressed.
“How do you feel?”
“My jaw is sore, but other than that, I feel fine.”
When I was down to my boxer briefs, I sat next to her on the edge of the bed. I turned on the bedside lamp to get a better look at her face. It would probably be swollen and bruised for a few days, but I was glad this was the worst of it.
“Did you ice again?”
“A few times.”
“Good. I’m about to shower. Get some rest. We can talk more in the morning.”
I pressed a soft kiss against her lips before heading to the shower. Ten minutes later, I crawled into bed. Rose was facing away from me, and when I got comfortable, I pulled her body against mine.
Everything about us felt right. She was home, and I couldn’t let her go again. At this point, I was willing to take whatever she was willing to give, just to have her in my arms like this every night.
I prayed that whatever she wanted to talk to me about today had nothing to do with us being apart and everything to do with us spending the rest of our lives together. Eventually, I fell asleep, with thoughts of a future with Rose heavy on my mind.
For the second morning in a row, she left me in bed alone. This time, I smelled food and heard sounds from the TV, so I knew she hadn’t ducked out on me again.
After relieving my bladder, washing my face, and brushing my teeth, I pulled on some basketball shorts and found Rose on the couch watching old-school cartoons.
“Good morning, beautiful.”
I kissed her forehead before she responded.
“Good morning. You have no food, so I went up to the main house and stole some bacon, eggs, and pancake mix. They had plenty, so I don’t think they’ll miss it. Your plate is in the microwave.”
“Thank you. I’m starving. Come to the kitchen with me while I eat.”
I helped her from the couch, and she followed me to the kitchen. While she sat at the table, I put my food in the microwave, set the timer for one minute, and leaned against the counter. I studied Rose’s face, noticing the swelling had gone down some, but her eyes were red and puffy.
“Have you been crying, baby?”
She nodded. “I’ve been sitting here thinking and mentally preparing for the conversation we’re about to have.”
The microwave beeped, and I removed my plate, got a fork from the drawer, and sat across from Rose at the table. I took a few bites of my food, but between the silence and the look on Rose’s face, I damn near lost my appetite.
“Fuck this food. I can finish it later, and we can talk now.”
“No. I want you to eat first.”
She stood and moved around the kitchen while I ate. I watched as she nervously wiped down my counters and put dishes away. When she began cleaning things that didn’t need to be cleaned, I grabbed her wrist and pulled her onto my lap so that she straddled me.
“I’m done eating. Do you want to talk here or go somewhere more comfortable?”
“Let’s go to the couch.”
I cupped her ass as I stood and carried her to the living room. When I sat on the couch, she moved beside me, rested her lower legs across my thighs, and leaned against the pillows. Instinctively, I caressed her legs with both hands.
“This conversation is a long time coming, baby. I’m all ears, but take your time.”
She blew out a breath as she fiddled with her fingers. I waited patiently as she inhaled and exhaled deeply several times.
“When I was ten, me and Rue were out riding our bikes. We rode through a construction site that our mother told us to stay away from, and there were all sorts of tools in the area that we had to ride around. I tried to maneuver around something, but didn’t see that there was a big, sharp metal piece on the other side.
My tire hit a rock or something, and I fell onto the metal piece.
It pierced my stomach and hit my uterus.
It was the most painful thing I’ve experienced.
I lost a lot of blood, and it was touch-and-go for several hours, but I survived. But the scar tissue on my uterus . . .”
I thought about the tattoo she had on her stomach and how she always tensed when I touched it, and how she didn’t like to talk about it.
She’d been looking at her hands as she spoke and finally looked me in my eyes.
I knew where this story was going, but I waited patiently for her to confess the words she’d probably been avoiding since she learned the news.
Tears filled her eyes and eventually trickled down her cheeks. I could see the torment on her face as she struggled to finish her story, and it hurt like hell because there was nothing I could do to fix this.
“C’mere, baby.”
She straddled my lap again, resting the uninjured side of her face on my chest. I rubbed her back softly, giving her a moment to release her emotions. When she lifted her head again, her eyes were puffier than before. I cupped her face and softly pressed my lips against hers.
Through tears, she said, “Russ, I—I can’t—I can’t have—have kids. I know how much having a family means to you, and I can’t give—”
“Shh, baby. Don’t cry.”
I placed soft kisses on her cheeks and gently wiped her tears away before wrapping her in my arms again and consoling her. I didn’t know what to say, because nothing I said would fix this. We sat there for a long time, with her crying into my chest and me doing my best to soothe her.
“Do you have anything to say?” she asked with her head still on my chest.
I didn’t answer immediately because I wanted to choose my words wisely.
“I’m sorry that happened to you, baby. I wish there was something I could do to fix it because it’s obvious this has been tormenting you for a long time.”
“Since I was fifteen.”
“Is that when you were told?”
She nodded. “My mother and I spent the whole day together after she told me, then we went to the spa, went shopping, and had a nice dinner.”
“I’m sure it wasn’t easy for her to do.”
“She said it was the hardest thing she’d ever had to do. Of course, I was devastated, and the only time I’ve ever cried more was at their funeral.”
“I’m pissed at myself because, clearly, I haven’t shown you the depths of my love for you. Nothing, and I mean nothing, will ever change how much I love you or my desire to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“Really?”
“Really.
“But I can’t give you the family you—”
“You are my family, baby. If I can’t have you, nothing else matters.
If we decide to have a family, there are other ways to make that happen.
I don’t know . . . Maybe we were meant to share our love with kids who have no one to love them, but I do know this: If I had to choose between not having a family with you or having a family with someone else, I’m choosing you all day, Rose. ”
“Russ,” she said through tears.
Her arms went around my neck, and she held on tight while she released years’ worth of tears.
She’d probably been putting on a brave face since she was given the news ten years ago.
Although I didn’t bring up the topic of children very often, I was sure that the times I did took a toll on her, both mentally and emotionally.
“Let it all out, baby,” I urged as my hand softly moved up and down her back.
My shirt was soaked when she finally lifted her head again.
“Can I tell you something?” she asked.
“Always.”
“I love you.”
“You—say that again.”
“I . . . love . . . you, Russell Rush.”
I had to sit with her words for a moment because even though I’d probably said those words to her thousands of times, not one time did she ever say them back. My heart told me the words her mouth never uttered but hearing them healed me in ways I couldn’t explain.
“You love me?” I questioned, urging her to repeat herself.
“I love you. I loved you before you told me the first time, but acknowledging my feelings was too much because I didn’t think we had a future.”
“Your mouth may not have said it, but ninety percent of the time, your actions spoke to my heart. I knew you were dealing with something that had nothing to do with your feelings for me, and sometimes it stifled your ability to accept my love and show me love in return. Hearing you say it changes the game, baby. You will never get rid of me now.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Does that mean you’re my woman?”
“I’ve always been yours, Russell.”
“Officially, meaning, you won’t be introducing me as your fucking friend.”
For the first time this morning, a smile crept onto her lips.
“But you are my friend, Russie. You’re my best friend.”
“Yeah. That’s cool and all. You’re my best friend too. But niggas need to know that you will soon be my wife, and I will end lives behind you. I don’t even fuck with social media like that, but I’m about to make a post to let everybody know how I’m coming when it comes to you.”
“Okay.”
“I’m glad we’re on the same page. Let’s celebrate, then talk about when you want to officially move back to The Compound.
“What makes you think I’m moving back?”
I frowned as I said, “You get a kick out of pissing me off, huh?”
“I’m not trying to piss you off.”
“You really think I’m letting you go back to that apartment after what happened?”
“Oh, I’m not going back there, but those aren’t the only apartments in Onyx City. I kinda like having my own space.”
“Baby, I’ll build you one of those girly sheds next to my house, but you’re coming back to The Compound. As a matter of fact, I can have all your shit packed up by the end of the week.”
“But I still have two months on my lease.”
“Fuck that lease.”
“Maybe we should go back to not having a title, because what you not gon’ do is—”
I could tell by her expression that she was just fucking with me. Her words got caught in her throat as I gently grabbed the front of her neck. She looked up at me with mischievous eyes as her teeth sank into her bottom lip.
“What am I not gon’ do, Rose? Huh? Tell me what I’m not gon’ do.”
She didn’t respond, but I was willing to bet her nipples had hardened, and her pussy was moist.
“I’ve waited too fucking long to have all of you, and I refuse to have you living anywhere but with me. If you want to move back in with your sisters for a minute, and I mean for one fucking minute, I’ll allow it, but that’s it, baby. Are we clear?”
She nodded as best she could with my hand covering her neck, but I needed her to tell me.
“Are we clear?”
“Yes, baby, we’re clear. Can we celebrate now?”
“We sure can. Let’s start by you sitting on my face.”