Chapter 20 - Jasper
I refuse to let her think that she doesn’t have a place here.
I can’t stand Tara thinking so lowly of herself for a second longer.
“You’re so great, Tara,” I say. “I mean that, truly. You’re brave, smart, and strong. Your humanness is just one part of the many wonderful sides of you.”
Her lips part a little, and I’m desperate to hold her. I step closer, careful not to crowd her—fighting my uncontrollable urges.
“Jasper, you don’t have to say that.”
“I do,” I counter instantly, the words leaving me before I can stop them. “I have to because you clearly can’t see it. And until you do, I’ll keep trying to make you realize how special you are.”
She shakes her head, her hair falling across her face.
“I’m fine,” she says. “I am. I’m used to feeling like I’m on my own. It’s not like I exactly need your support.”
I know what she’s doing.
She’s trying desperately to push me away, for reasons that actually, I understand. There’s a strange understanding between us, one that’s made me feel afraid in the past.
But I’m not afraid anymore.
“I’m sorry about that night, Tara. I regret the way that I treated you after we made love, and I regret the way I’ve been treating you since then.”
An apology that once seemed so hard pours out of me with ease.
Her eyes glisten. “It’s fine.”
“It’s not fine,” I assert. “Not at all. The real reason I rejected you after that night was that it was a time when my pack was extremely prejudiced. They were against witches, humans, heck, even some shifters from foreign packs. It was a dark time for my pack, one that I realize I should have been trying to change.”
She remains quiet, her face trembling.
“At the time, I wanted to support them. I thought being with a human was the absolute worst thing I could do. I wanted to be a good leader, and instead, I did the opposite. I was wrong.”
Her gaze lowers, it’s as though she’s caught between anger and sorrow, between wanting to believe me and wanting to protect herself.
She doesn’t need to protect herself on her own anymore.
“You weren’t wrong for caring about your people,” she whispers. “I understand that it was a tough position; you don’t owe me anything.”
But I do.
“I’ve wanted you for so long, Tara. I knew it from the second I saw you, and it never went away. The reason I was so harsh was that I was trying to fight it. I couldn’t stand feeling so much.”
She takes in a sharp breath, her eyes glassy and soft.
“You’re saying this now,” she murmurs. “But what if you change your mind? What if you decide that humans aren’t worth your time anymore? Jasper, I can’t feel that way again; it was too much.”
I shake my head, the thought alone tightening my chest. I grasp the sides of her arms.
“That won’t happen,” I assert. “I promise you, Tara. I’m not going to pretend that I don’t want you anymore. I’m not just saying this stuff about humans just to say it, I truly believe it.”
Her lashes flutter gently; she looks uncertain, as if she doesn’t believe me, but she doesn’t move away from my touch.
The warmth of her arms beneath my hands feels good. Too good.
I pull away.
“Jasper,” she whispers, her voice strained with unmistakable need. She sounds fragile, her eyes pained.
“I’m done hiding,” I tell her, my voice rough. “I’ll never make you question your worth again. I promise that things will change around here. I promise.”
She nods.
I don’t expect her to forgive me anytime soon; I know that I don’t deserve it.
“You don’t have to respond now,” I say. “I don’t expect anything from you, but I do hope one day you’ll be able to forgive me.”
Her eyes meet mine again, wide and glistening, and for a moment, the world stills.
I hear her heartbeat, the shortness of her breath.
“I forgive you,” she says.
Her response is completely unexpected. I blink, sure that maybe I’ve misheard her.
“You forgive me?”
Tara nods. She looks determined, but still as though the decision was a difficult one to make. There’s a tortured look in her eyes that makes my heart ache.
“Maybe I shouldn’t, I don’t know, maybe I’m completely crazy for allowing myself to even be in the same space as you again. But you make it hard not to want to. You have a hold on me.”
Her voice trails off.
I shake my head. “But Tara, I don’t want that to be why. I don’t want to manipulate you or control you, I mean what I say.”
“I know that,” she swallows. “I know that you’ve changed. I can see that you’ve changed. And this Jasper now is the Jasper I choose to forgive. You’ve hurt me so much, more than anyone, but I can’t live in that past. I have to move on. And if you’ve taught me anything, well, I also have to trust.”
She pauses, gazing deeply into my eyes. “I forgive you, Jasper. I do.”
.
Her words tear something open inside of me. I swallow hard, staring at her like she’s some miracle.
Because she is.
Forgiveness is one of the things that humans do better than us.
It’s the heightened empathy or patience, I’m not sure. But I love that about her.
“Tara...”
Her name comes out broken, and I step closer to her, my chest brushing hers.
The energy between us is too strong for me to control anymore.
“You don’t know what that means to me,” I murmur, lifting my hand to brush her cheek.
The scattered light shining through the trees hits her face at angles that make her look majestic.
As though she’s part of this forest too.
Her eyes flutter shut, her lips parting, welcoming me in.
My forehead lowers to reach hers as my palms cup her face gently, savoring how sacred she is.
Our breaths move in unison. It’s as though we’ve synced up into one consciousness, one heartbeat. I want her so much.
She reaches for me a little with her lips, just one micro-movement, and desperately, I close the space between us.
As her mouth grazes against mine, I take a deep breath, the taste of her even better than I remembered.
I kiss her deeper, pulling her closer into me as my hands brush through her silky hair.
She groans.
I savor the way she melts against me, her fingers bunching in my shirt, her whole body practically sighing against mine. I’ve never felt this turned on from just kissing.
Everything about the way she’s moving against me is driving me wild.
And that’s when my wolf kicks in.
I tear away from her briefly, raking my gaze up and down her body hungrily.
“Tell me to stop,” I say.
She shakes her head, her mouth ajar and her lips deliciously puffy.
“I don’t want you to.”
This time, she steps toward me, her hands snaking up my body and around the back of my neck. As she touches me, little sparks break out beneath my skin.
She closes her eyes, my perfect opening once again.
I claim her.
Pressing my tongue deep into her throat, I trail my hands against the sides of her breasts.
I can hear, feel, and smell just how much she likes that.
It hardens me even more.
“Oh, Tara,” I moan.
I reach for the buttons of her dress, carefully undoing each one as I kiss her. I want to see her, but I forget to look.
I’m too caught up in the way she feels and tastes.
Tara helps me pull down her dress.
She’s sucking and kissing my lips, wearing nothing but her bra and panties.
I get one look.
One small peek from the corner of my eye, and that’s all I need to make my erection unbearable.
I grab her thighs, lift her up, and push her against the tree.
There we lock eyes, my nose against hers, I’m staring into those glistening hazel pools.
“Jasper,” she whispers, my name on her lips, sending shockwaves through my body.
As she does, all the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Alongside my wolf’s arousal is a deep wave of euphoria, tingling and tickling my body. It’s fierce and dizzying, like her voice alone could undo me.
The rest of the forest quietens around us, and there’s no need for words. Instead, there’s a throbbing ache in my lips to taste her again.
Everything I am, everything I feel, burns through the way I look at her, and I’m impatient, but I hold her there for a moment.
The perfect image. My perfect euphoria.
When I finally kiss her, it’s not gentle—I devour her. Her mouth answers mine hungrily, desperately, and I kiss her as if I could pour every ounce of my soul into her. She moans into me, and it shatters whatever restraint I thought I had.
Her bra slips away, and suddenly she’s bare in the sunlight. My breath catches, my eyes unbearably weary.
Her breasts are before me like two frosted cupcakes glowing innocently beneath the sunlight, my wolf howls inside me, wild and uncontrollable.
I worship her, my mouth on her breasts, my tongue tracing every perfect inch as she tips her head back, offering herself to me with sounds that drive me insane.. Her nubs are sweet, perfectly hard candies beneath my tongue.
I take each breast into my mouth and then trail my tongue up her neck, her face, and behind her ears.
She moans, tightening her hold around my neck.
Her moans feed me, consume me, make me lose myself in her. I grind against her, my need pressing hard, letting her feel just how close I am to breaking. I can’t get enough.
Her legs squeeze around my waist, urging me to go deeper.
“Jasper,” she breathes with desperation. My name on her lips will never not drive me wild. I shudder.
“I need you,” I murmur against her throat. “Right here. Now.”
Her body arches, her legs lock around my waist, and the plea in her eyes destroys me. I can’t believe that I get to have her like this.
I don’t hesitate.
I plant my tongue there as I slide one hand down between us, slipping beneath the waistband of her panties.
She’s already so wet, the sensation making me groan against her soft neck.
“Fuck, Tara.”
Her hips buck against my fingers that work around her clit in circles. She’s frantic and crazed, and I tease her at first, slowly touching her folds.
I savor the way she digs into me.
“You’re perfect,” I murmur into her, dragging my lips along her jaw and back to her neck. She tastes so goddamn sweet.
Tara whimpers.
That’s all I need to increase my tempo and fuck her with my fingers as she rocks against me. I want to give her everything—more pleasure than she’s ever dreamed of. She deserves everything.
“Please,” she begs.
The sound of her voice is too much. I abandon whatever control I have left and pull the last of her dripping panties to the side.
My body aligns with hers instinctively.
The moment my hardness teases her center, she lets out a groan—low, primal, desperate—and it shoots straight through me. Her slickness coats me, each drop of her need making me ache to claim her.
Now Tara takes control, rocking herself up and down my member. Rotating her hips, bucking with need.
I kiss her gently, as restrained as possible, as I guide my dick inside her folds.
Her heat wraps around me, inch by inch, and as I ease myself further, I let out a guttural moan.
“Fuck, Tara,” I rasp, almost losing my grip on the tree as her tightness pulls me deeper.
There’s that euphoric wave again, the one that tingles and swirls around my bloodstream.
I’ve never experienced that with anyone else before. It’s like a lightning bolt, little mini fireworks setting off in my body.
Her nails dig into my shoulders, urging me to keep going.
Then I press forward until I’m buried completely inside of her, my chest hard against hers, our breath slowly intertwining in frantic gasps.
I try to stay still, to savor the way it feels to be inside her for a second. But she rolls her hips, and it’s over.
I fall through into oblivion and completely lose whatever control I had left.
The bark of the tree scrapes against my knuckles as I pin her tighter. Tara cries out, her voice breaking into raw sounds that echo through the forest.
Then her movements turn wild, her legs grip my waist, her back arches, and her lips crash against mine.
“I want you so much,” she whispers.
We’re completely connected, our bodies working in unison, straining against one another.
I can’t stop.
Her moans, her scent, her everything is my new reality. Everything I know and want.
I pound faster, my lips trailing over her collarbone, her breasts, and her throat. Each thrust is rougher, deeper, twisting with need. Then I feel something shift.
Her body begins to tense and quake around me. Her cries become higher, deeper.
I groan her name as her body shakes around me. She moans loudly, her shaking pussy coming around my dick.
It’s too much.
With one last pump, I release my load deep inside her back walls. A wave of euphoria, deeper than the last, pulses through my veins.
I hang my head lifelessly over her shoulder, still trembling, still inside her, clinging to the only thing that feels real.
I close my eyes, preparing to slip into nothingness, when suddenly something flashes through my mind’s eye.
I don’t understand it at first, it’s like a dream or a memory, but so much more vivid.
A tall flower in perfect condition stands before me, with feathery white petals. The petals are falling, slowly, one by one.
I catch my breath, force my eyes open, and look at Tara, whose face is overcome with shock.