Chapter 7 #2
“Umm, I can explain, but not right now. We’re on this beautiful island, and we’re going to make the most of it.
I’ve already found a man who offers tours, taking us to all the historical sights and to local shops where we can get food, drinks, and souvenirs.
It comes with rum punch and all kinds of goodies,” China informed us.
“Yeah, alright. I’ll table this for now, but you better believe we’ll be talking about this later. Where is Roxy?” I asked, peering around to see if I could spot her.
“She said she was coming, but who knows. I’m sure her stiff ass husband still has his panties in a bunch after the disaster of a dinner you all had. He might not let her come.”
“Hey, ladies!” Roxy greeted us with a big smile on her face. She looked amazing in her royal blue bikini top and Daisy Dukes. It was a vast improvement from the woman I met in the breakfast line.
“Hey, boo. I see you’re smiling and happy today. And your outfit looks perfect on you,” China complimented.
“Thank you. I dropped the kids off at the daycare this morning and decided today was going to be all about me. I came on this trip to have a good time, and it’s about time I started having some fun,” Roxy declared.
“Yes, boo. We’re about to have so much fun. Make sure you drink plenty of water because China likes to get people drunk whenever we go out, and I would hate to see you throwing up on the side of the ship later,” I teased.
“Oh, you don’t have to worry. I used to get down when I was in college. If I can’t do anything else, I know how to hold my liquor.”
I laughed at the confident smirk on her face.
Roxy was a cool person, and I was happy she was finally doing something for herself.
As promised, China hooked us up with a man who did a bus tour around the island.
I wasn’t sure what to expect, but we had a ball the entire time.
We went to a lot of historical places, and he explained the origin and facts I never knew.
The food was phenomenal, but I expected nothing less. We laughed, ate, and drank for hours until he finally dropped us off at the beach. I snuck a few slices of rum cake in my bag for later because I knew it would be the perfect late-night snack.
The men went to one of the stands where they offered beach chair rentals, and we all laid out and enjoyed the sun and the sound of the waves. There were people everywhere laughing, playing music, and just enjoying the weather.
It looked like a nice mix of locals and tourists on the beach. A few people were making food on these tiny grills, and it made me smile. There were children everywhere, laughing and playing with one another as they rolled in the sand.
When I was younger, I always wondered what it would be like to take vacations with my family and create memories together, but unfortunately, I wasn’t blessed with much of a family.
My father was a mystery, and my mother decided early on in life that she would rather run the streets than take care of me.
I spent most of my time jumping from house to house until China’s mom took me in and made it clear she wanted me to stay permanently.
Aunt Tokyo didn’t have much, but she made sure we had what we needed.
It was the reason I took her passing away so hard because she was the only mother I ever had.
When she got sick, she made China and me promise to live our lives with no regrets and to never settle for less than we deserved.
Even though it hurt to think about at times, I knew without a doubt she was proud of us.
Both China and I were following our dreams and living life on our own terms.
Thoughts of her and our many talks about relationships lingered in my head. She loved Kyon and always told me he was the one for me. I knew she probably wanted to come down from Heaven and beat my tail for what happened, but I was going to do everything I could to make up for it.
“Your face is scrunched up like you’re trying to solve a math problem. Either you’re over here thinking too hard, or you have gas. One or the other,” Kyon whispered in my ear as I lay next to him.
“You’re annoying, but you’re not wrong. I’m thinking about how badly I fucked up by leaving you.
I really thought you cheated on me, and my first instinct was to run.
In hindsight, I should have talked to you, but my feelings were hurt, and I was afraid that if I allowed you in my space, I would end up forgiving you and looking like a fool.
“A lot of women stay with men in your position because of the lifestyle and the appearance. I never wanted you to think you could buy me or play with my heart for some money. Now, I feel like I was cheated out of years of happiness because I walked away from the one person who meant everything to me and somehow ended up with a man who couldn’t measure up on his best day,” I admitted.
The sad truth was, I had known for a while that things between Kalvin and I weren’t going to work.
He wasn’t the kind of man I could see myself growing with or starting a family with.
While he was ambitious, he didn’t care about anyone but himself.
With Kyon, I became used to random date nights, flowers just because it was Wednesday, and gushy text messages in the middle of the day reminding me of how much I meant to him.
I tried my best not to compare the two in the beginning, but it was hard because there simply was no comparison.
Kalvin possessed an old-school mindset that women were to serve and be seen and not heard.
Kyon and I would talk about important political and economic issues worldwide.
He would ask my opinion on various subjects, and if he didn’t understand a subject concerning women and our autonomy, he would ask.
I loved having a man who also doubled as a friend.
Kyon cared about my feelings and emotions, regardless of whether we were on good or bad terms. Kalvin never cared, and he would go out of his way to ignore my concerns when they didn’t align with his opinions.
Every time I vented to China, she would always tell me the same thing.
You don’t understand his way of thinking because he isn’t your person.
I guess I wanted to prove her and myself wrong.
The flags were crimson in color, but I refused to see what was right in front of me.
In my head, there was no way I had picked wrong again, and I believed we could get past our differences, but there were simply too many.
“Look at me, because I don’t want to have to repeat myself again.
You are not at fault for what happened. Yes, I wish you had talked to me, but I saw the pictures too.
If I didn’t know the kind of man I am, I wouldn’t have believed it either.
You reacted the way a normal person would, and while I hate we missed out on so much time together, it’s not on you.
“When I first found out about the cruise, I wasn’t even sure I wanted to go.
Then I kept having these dreams where I was on the ship and there was something on the other side of my room door I couldn’t seem to get to.
My gut was telling me it was something important I needed to see, but every time I got close, I woke up.
“At first, I wasn’t sure how to interpret it, but there was a magnetic pull telling me I needed to find out.
The moment I laid eyes on you, there was no doubt in my mind that you were the answer on the other side of the door.
I used to pray and damn near beg God to bring you back to me, and I never stopped.
Yeah, there were times when I wanted to let go.
Hell, I tried to move on a couple of times, but I ended things because I didn’t want to waste their time.
“You’re my person, Lai. Nobody else can make me feel the way you do.
I would climb the highest mountain just to get to you.
Everything about you makes my soul smile.
We’ve only been in each other’s presence for two days, and I already feel whole again.
I can’t lose you again, and I won’t. We don’t have to dwell on the past or what brought us here.
The only thing I care about is the fact that I have you back with me.
“Don’t waste your time feeling sorry or guilty.
I don’t have any hard feelings toward you, and I never will.
The only thing I want from you is your love.
I feel like I’ve been going through life with my tank on empty, and I needed your love to refuel me.
I don’t care what I have to do to keep you here with me for good this time around, I’ll do it.
You’re worth any and everything I could ever give up. ”
His declaration brought me to tears as I buried my face into his chest. I needed to hear those words.
I spent most of the night thinking about the guilt I held in my heart, but typical Kyon found a way to give me peace in the middle of a storm I helped grow.
His heart was kind and pure, even when he had every reason to hold hatred in it.
It was the reason he was so blessed, even though life hadn’t always dealt him the best hand.
“You’ve got me crying and blowing snot bubbles on the beach. How embarrassing.” I sniffled.
“You don’t have any reason to be embarrassed. Hell, I’m the only man you need to impress anyway, so I don’t give a fuck what anyone else may think. Besides, you’re still sexy as hell, even with a snotty nose.” He chuckled, then leaned over to kiss my cheek.
“I really cannot take you seriously, but I’m glad to know you love me unconditionally.” I sat up, crashing my lips against his. There was something about the way his lips felt against mine that warmed the center of my chest.