Chapter 7 #3
For a long time, I thought I would never feel those familiar butterflies again, but they were present as ever. Normally, I would overthink everything, but I didn’t want to this time. I wanted to enjoy this reunion and relish the familiar warmth and safety I had been missing.
“Aye, don’t get too carried away over there. There are innocent children on this beach, and they don’t need to be traumatized by the two of you dry humping on the beach!” China yelled with no shame.
“Girl, fuck you. I’m sure there were probably a few families who were caught off guard by you and Keonte grunting and growling like wild animals.
I won’t be surprised if they send an invoice to replace the bed, since I know the foundation is on its last leg.
Nasty ass.” I stuck out my tongue while China covered her face.
“Naw, don’t be ashamed now. You weren’t hiding your face when you were calling him daddy. I can’t believe you, by the way. Uncle Charles is probably rolling over in his grave right now,” I jested.
“I can’t believe you would put my business out there for the masses. Listen, I’m not even gonna lie, I lost a little bit of my sanity with every stroke. I’m pretty sure I promised him thirty acres, a mule, two babies, and a Benz. I’m just a girl.” China shrugged, and Roxy and I fell out laughing.
“Aye, I don’t want to hear none of this shit. Yuck.” Kyon frowned with his fingers plugged into his ears.
“Oh, please. This is payback for all of the times I had to watch my cousin walk around with a limp while singing love songs. You never know, we may fuck around and end up having a double wedding. Just know there will be fried chicken and Don Julio at the reception,” China declared.
Keonte sat there quietly with a goofy grin on his face. Clearly, he wasn’t the least bit bothered by her foolishness.
“Well, I’m glad you all are enjoying your rooms, because the only body parts I’ve had on me are toddler feet on my back. If I ever have the opportunity to take another cruise, I plan to come by myself,” Roxy stated. “Who knows, maybe I’ll find a new man to bring me back here.”
Her statement caught me off guard, and I needed to get some answers.
“Ladies, let’s go over to the bar and grab another drink. The rum has worn off. Plus, I need to grab a bottle of water before I end up passed out somewhere.” I attempted to get up from the chair, but two large hands pulled me back.
“Who told you that you could leave?”
My heart and coochie thumped in unison. His voice had always been a weakness of mine, and nothing had changed.
“I’m thirsty. Besides, you should want me to be good and drunk so you can take me back to the room and have your way with me,” I purred.
“I’ma do that anyway. You must have forgotten me and my pussy have a lot of catching up to do.” He winked, sending chills down my spine.
“I guess you have a point, but I also need a moment to gossip with my girls, and I know you don’t want to hear us talk about another man.”
“Yeah, you got me there. I just now calmed down from wanting to beat that lame ass nigga to sleep. All I know is you better get it out of your system now because when we get back to the States, that nigga will be nothing more than a distant memory. My manager already warned me about the potential consequences of my actions, and I’m trying my best to do right. ”
“Please listen to him. I just got you back, and I’m not built for visitations, commissary, or those blurry-ass video messages. I would hold you down regardless, but I might have to get a man on the side because big mama has needs.”
“Big mama my ass, and what do you know about those video messages? Let me find out you went and found a felon while we were on a break.”
“Ky, we were not on a break. I left your ass, remember? Plus, one of my guilty pleasures is watching Love During Lock Up. Those people are crazy, and I’ll never understand how you can have so much faith in someone you’ve never met in person.
My trust is too messed up for a prison pal.
Because if you go a couple of days without calling me, I’m gonna assume you got shanked or you’re being bent over by Big Moose. ” I shrugged.
“Laikyn, who the hell is Big Moose, and why would you say some shit like that?” Kyon roared with laughter, but I meant what I said.
“Alright, now. You got us up, and now you and your man are acting like you can’t go a second without each other. Come on!” China huffed with her arms folded.
“Let me go before I end up fighting my favorite cousin and burying her wig in the sand.”
“You wish. This glue is waterproof and durable. Don’t play with me.”
“You guys are hilarious. I don’t like any of my trailer trash cousins, and most of the people on my dad’s side don’t mess with me because my momma is white,” Roxy stated.
“Girl, it’s only like this with her. I don’t fuck with anyone else in our family,” I told her. We walked toward the bar on the strip. I don’t know what I imagined the Bahamas would look like, but it was more modern than I thought, and I loved it even more.
The bar was outdoors, so we took our seats in the shade.
I was thankful I remembered to put on my sunscreen because the sun was showing no mercy.
People thought black people didn’t need sunscreen, but they couldn’t have been more wrong.
If I didn’t do anything else, I made sure to preserve and take care of my skin.
“I’ve had fun today, but I cannot wait to get back to the ship and wash my ass. I feel sticky as hell,” China complained.
“Yeah, the sun is cooking right now. I’m probably going to take a nap before dinner tonight,” I replied.
“What are your plans for dinner? I might need to tag along with y’all,” Roxy added, reminding me to ask her something.
“You’re more than welcome to come with us. Now, spill the beans. You’ve been chipper all day, and I know it’s not because of your husband. No offense,” I stated.
“Honestly, I don’t even know how I’m smiling either.
Last night went from bad to worse, and I don’t even have the words to describe how confused I am.
When we left dinner, Aaron couldn’t stop ranting about what happened with Kalvin.
I guess they had a deal, and Kyon’s signing it was going to secure a promotion for both of them.
“Aaron will probably still get the promotion, but Kalvin was devastated. The two of them ended up staying out last night, and Aaron didn’t make it back in until after three in the morning.
His phone went off last night, and it was a message from his assistant.
She was going on and on about how she was tired of being in the background.
Apparently, they’ve been messing around for a while, and he’s been promising to leave me for her.
“I should have been upset, but I’m numb to the pain.
Aaron has been treating me like a doormat for far too long, and I no longer care what he wants.
When I woke up this morning, I took the kids to daycare and came back to get dressed.
He asked where they were, and when I told him, he snapped.
Normally, I would have given in and tried to compromise with him, but I’ve had enough.
“The day you helped me with my kids, something shifted in me. It was one thing to allow my husband to treat me like a servant at home, but it was a humbling experience to realize other people could see how horribly he treated me. My upbringing wasn’t the best, so I guess you could say Aaron picked me up from the streets and cleaned me off.
“At first, I thought it made me special that he helped me and gave me a life I never dreamed of, then I started to realize it came with a price. I no longer had the freedom to be myself or even figure out what that meant. When we started having kids, it only got worse because then he used them as an excuse for why I shouldn’t be able to have my own life.
“We got into an argument this morning because he said I was changing. Normally, I would have taken offense or tried to shrink myself to make him feel better, but I don’t care anymore.
Him telling me I’ve changed was a compliment because I’m tired of being the woman I’ve been for all of these years.
I’ve always wanted to be a mother, but I never wanted it to be at the cost of myself.
The fact that he’s been cheating on me was just the final straw.
I’ve sacrificed everything to be the woman he wanted, and it still hasn’t been enough.
Now, I’m going to work on becoming the woman I want to be. ”
I could hear the conviction in her voice, and it made me feel a sense of pride.
As women, we’re expected to carry all of the hats and perform thirty different tasks while wearing a smile on our faces.
We weren’t afforded the same grace as men and were expected to hold the household together while maintaining a sense of self.
When I first got with Kalvin, he spoiled me with gifts.
He acted like he supported my modeling career, but then he would make comments about how things would have to change when we got married.
My traveling schedule no longer seemed appropriate, and he wanted me to cut down the jobs I accepted.
Even when I made it clear to him I wanted to maintain my own career and have my own money, he insisted it wasn’t necessary.
He wanted to dim my light, and it drove him crazy when he couldn’t get me to fall in line.
“I’m proud of you, Roxy. Too many women lose their identity in the titles they hold. You can be a mother and a bad bitch too. It’s all about balance,” China declared.