Chapter 9 Alexsei
ALEXSEI
“Misha!” I sprinted down the hall, worried that he’d strayed too far down this wing of the house. He had free reign, mostly, but I didn’t need him bothering Kalina. She didn’t need a boy bursting in and keeping her from relaxing.
“Misha?”
I ran toward her door, mentally cringing when it looked like it was open all the way. He’d been playing hide-and-seek, and he might have…
“Misha, where are you?” I yelled out once more, dashing to the door. “You know better than—”
Stopping short with a skid on the carpet, I held on to the doorframe.
There he was.
Just as I suspected.
He stood a couple of feet inside Kalina’s room.
A sheepish smile covered his face.
On her face, though, there was something I hadn’t seen yet.
Not that vacant stare, the blank, watchful gaze, detached and skittish.
Her brows slightly slanted inward. As if she were frowning, or trying hard not to.
In her eyes was something like defiance.
Anger.
Even… determination.
But it was something. She was reacting to Misha barging in here, and that was a big step away from her being nothing but a frozen mute.
“Sorry,” Misha said.
I knew he was. He meant it when he apologized. “You know better than to wander in the hallways on this side of the house.”
“I know. I know. But Lev said we could play hide-and-seek and I thought that these rooms were empty. I didn’t know this lady, uh, this guest was in here.” He glanced at her with that sheepish smile that borrowed more charm than I thought he was capable of at his age. “Sorry, again, ma’am.”
I bit my lip, hiding a smile.
Oh, what manners.
That ma’am had to be his attempt at sugarcoating this mistake.
Kalina didn’t react. Not at first. She had gone back to that guarded animal stance of wariness, watching us.
But I didn’t miss how she almost seemed to relax, even for just a millisecond. Then she blinked, as if she were aware of Misha and his apology. It meant that she cared.
Having a young boy bursting into her room would be a startling surprise, and she didn’t need any shock or surprise. Yet, she heard him.
“I’m sorry he surprised you, Kalina,” I said, speaking to her directly. “But you won’t need to worry about any more interruptions like that soon. While there are many people coming and going in this house, we realize that more peace and quiet might be best for you now.”
“I wasn’t yelling or being obnoxious,” Misha muttered.
“Regardless.” I gave him a look before facing the silent woman again who observed both of us. “I’ll be taking you to a safe location where you can recover and rest without interruptions like this.”
“Jeez. You’re acting like I’ve been popping in here more than once,” Misha grumbled.
I could discuss this with Misha later. Right now, I was stuck on her. On Kalina as she blinked faster. Her eyes grew bigger. She shrank back a step. Faster and faster, she panted.
Fuck, she was panicking. She’d looked calmer with Misha surprising her, but now, she was nearly hyperventilating after I extended that offer of more peace.
“Hey, it’s okay,” Misha said. He, too, noticed how she panicked. Using the soothing but firm voice he did when he talked to Andre or the babies, he didn’t sound mean. “It’s okay, ma’am. He’s good at keeping people safe.”
Talk about a knife to the heart.
I hadn’t been all that great at keeping his mother safe.
“A safe location,” I promised. “Where no one will bother you.”
Backing up another step, Kalina slightly shook her head. She was trembling now, staring at me like I was a monster.
“He’s not a bad guy,” Misha said. “You can trust me.”
Fuck.
She doesn’t trust anyone, Son.
He was either oblivious or na?ve, though.
Patting my back as he passed me, he approached Kalina slowly.
Holding up his hands, he smiled. “He’s good at protecting me.
He protects me.” He glanced back at me with that familiar hero worship in his eyes.
“He protects our family. And if you’re with us now, he’ll protect you. ”
She took a shuddering breath, then stepped toward him.
It wasn’t a big move, but I saw it.
I tracked it.
She saw Misha as safe. As neutral ground.
“If you want, I could come with you!” He smiled easily, glancing back at me too quickly before I could tell him no.
What? No.
“You could be alone. I like to read a lot, so I won’t be loud. I can come with you if that would help. I like getting away on vacations and I have a break from lessons.” Now he watched me with a pleading smile. “Come on, please?”
I opened my mouth, ready to tell him this wasn’t a vacation.
But then she did it again.
One more step toward my son.
Another line on her brow, as if she were puzzling through the risk of wanting Misha as backup or support.
I wasn’t planning on bringing my son, but now, I opened my eyes to how he might be the biggest help of all. She wasn’t half as scared of him as she was me.
“Please?” Misha asked again.
I sighed heavily, frowning at him and debating whether this would be a mistake or not.
Then he sidestepped, going toward Kalina.
She didn’t flinch.
She didn’t cower back.
Merely watching him, she stayed… calm.
Fuck it.
“All right.”
Misha smiled and started to run out of the room. “I’ll start packing now!”
With one last glance at Kalina, I wondered how I could get through to her like my son was.
“You will be safe,” I promised.
She dipped her chin and broke eye contact, prompting me to retreat and back out of the room to close the door.
Even though the idea to bring Misha along was a rash one, something he’d pushed onto me, I slept on it and woke in the morning with a conviction that it couldn’t end badly. When I told Luka in the morning, updating him like we all did, he raised both brows.
“Do you really think it’s wise to bring him along?”
I nodded. He was the boss. He was the leader of the family and the man I looked up to. He never overstepped my role as Misha’s father, though, and he wouldn’t tell me how to change my parenting decisions where he was concerned. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t speak up and offer his opinions, though.
“I only ask because it wasn’t too long ago that he was…” Luka rolled his hand, as if searching for the words. “Skittish.”
Not like Kalina.
And it made sense for Misha to have had issues with fear.
We lived in a dangerous world. The odds of his witnessing someone bloody and bruised from a fight or gunshot were high.
I couldn’t shelter the realities of what it meant to be a member of the Dubinin Family.
He was just a small boy then. He still was a boy, not yet a teen or a man.
Children were more prone to be scared of scary things.
But a woman, a full-grown adult like Kalina, she shouldn’t have been subjected to whatever made her the fearful person she was now.
“I agree,” I replied. “However, I’m confident that he wouldn’t be exposed to any violence on this getaway.”
He raised his brows. “You’re not at all concerned about Erik Boranov trying to get her back? Or Yusef?”
“Of course I am,” I admitted. “And that’s why Simon and his selected team will monitor any threats of their coming close. I’ll take Kalina and Misha to one of the properties uptown.” All the possible safehouses I could pick from would be staffed with guards. I didn’t need to tell Luka that.
Later, though, when I planned the logistics of bringing Kalina and Misha to a penthouse across town, where it would be quieter, I debated if that was the best choice.
After watching the footage of Kalina’s room and seeing her once more standing near the window and looking up at the sky, another idea came to me.
She could’ve been holed up in a closet all this time.
Sheltered and forbidden from even looking outside.
Her fascination with gazing at the sky prompted me to reconsider.
What if she could relax better outside the city? Away from all signs of this place?
I could take her to a cabin upstate, somewhere remote and isolated. For all I knew, maybe she was triggered by the sounds of the city, of the sights of an urban area.
Misha would enjoy it too.
I didn’t debate it for long. Sticking with the abrupt change of plans, I contacted Raisa and Gabriella.
Both women had offered to find clothing for Kalina, and between the two of them, they understood that we needed to find outer wear for her.
Coats and gloves and boots and more things suited for time in the snow. Outdoor attire.
It would be just my luck to assume what Kalina might like or want, but as I prepared to get Misha ready for the flight, I really hoped that the scared guest wouldn’t be someone who hated nature.
“We’re going to the cabin?” Misha asked excitedly when I told him the news. He practically bounced on my bed, where I was starting to pack. Lev groaned, flopping down on his back next to him.
“No fair. I wanna come too!” Lev sat back up, pouting.
“Another time,” I said. Misha conned his way into coming this time, but I wasn’t going to subject Kalina to two rowdy boys romping around. It wasn’t the only cabin we owned, despite Misha calling it the cabin. He said it in a general sense.
“Will the lady like it?” Misha asked.
“She has a name,” I reminded him curtly. “Kalina.”
He nodded, smiling widely, too excited about being able to get away with me.
“And I don’t know if she will like it. She’s getting through some difficult times and maybe the change of scenery will be good for her.” I pointed at him, trying to be as stern as possible. “You are coming along only if you agree to be quiet and not bother her.”
“I will.” He mimed zipping his lips. “I’ll be super good and quiet.” A huge smile lifted his lips, as if he needed to encourage me not to reconsider his coming with us.
Misha was a well-behaved child. I knew he was. But the closer we got to leaving to fly upstate, I had to wonder how this would go.
If this would work for Kalina’s recovery.
If this would end up being a huge setback.
Time would tell, but the one thing I was confident about was my determination not to let her down. I would keep her safe, regardless of where we were in the world.
It was expected of me, a duty to fulfill. And it was becoming something more, like a personal mission, one born of redemption and forgiveness for myself in paying it forward in some way for how I’d failed Elena.