Chapter 18 Kalina
KALINA
The next night, Alexsei asked if I wanted him to make me feel good in my bedroom.
“So you don’t have to worry about being too loud.”
A naughty thrill ran through me as I nodded, nervous but excited.
He made me come again, using his lips and tongue on my breasts and his fingers in my pussy.
The following night, he came to my room and asked if I wanted him to help me feel good.
That time, he used his mouth on me again, playing with my clit while I kept my fingers in his hair. He let me push his mouth to me how I wanted him to go.
Last night, he sat on my bed as I kissed him, topless. When he claimed he couldn’t stand it anymore, he flipped me onto my back so he could finger me while he stroked his big dick. He came, shooting spurts of his creamy white cum onto the sheets.
Something about the headiness of power—that I was a good girl for him and that he was so turned on that he could come—was too addicting.
The whole next day, I was an impatient mess, desperate for our stolen nights together.
That was when I shyly asked if I could use my mouth on him.
And I did, surprised and oddly turned on when he came and spilled his cum into my throat.
He didn’t need to tell me that he wanted to make me feel good anymore.
I knew it. He showed me how. And not once did he give me the fear of being bred.
Of being controlled. So patient and gentle, he let me tell him what I wanted and how.
He left all the choices up to me. It culminated in the most sensual illusion that I could be free to live my life as I wanted to.
Not as a transaction. Not as a thing to sell off. But a living, breathing, sexual woman who could pursue pleasure without any guilt. Without any ugly expectations behind any of it as well.
The next day, I got it in my head that Alexsei could sneak me aside for another stolen kiss.
We didn’t touch or do anything at all in the daytime. Not in front of Misha. Never.
But here and there, he’d catch me in the kitchen and sneak a kiss. Once, when Misha was too impatient to run outside and play in the snow, Alexsei hugged me close and squeezed my ass as we made out like we were starving for each other.
That was why I followed him toward the smallest room of the cabin. It was narrow and lined with books, maybe like a library or study, but with him in here, and with how he always seemed larger than life in any room he was in, there wasn’t much space left for me.
He looked up, on the phone, and smiled at me. Out the window, he saw Misha dashing out into the snow. I intended to go with him, a fan of the open outdoors and fresh air. But I’d hoped to snag a secret minute with this Mafia man who was becoming my secret lover.
Taking my hand, he pulled me closer until I stood in front of him. This way, with my back against his chest, we were both watching Misha out there. He laughed and talked to one of the guards who patrolled the woody perimeter.
“I’m not sure that would be any safer,” he said into the call on speaker. He held the phone with one hand, but with his other, he brushed my hair off my neck so he could kiss me there.
Closing my eyes, I leaned against him and tilted my head to the side to give him access. As I sagged against him, he moved his hand lower to unzip my jeans and slide his fingers down to rub over my pussy.
While he’s on a call!
The naughtiness of it all turned me on more.
That was, until the caller spoke.
“Erik’s looking. There’s no doubt about it. But we’ve made sure that nothing can be traced to the cabin.”
I froze.
Erik.
My past.
If my brother was hunting me down…
Alexsei sighed behind me, withdrawing his hand and zipping me back up. It seemed like I vaguely heard the rest of the call, with this man named Simon, but all the words came through as gibberish, like it was coming to me through underwater.
“Kalina.” Alexsei didn’t try to turn me to face him after he ended the call. He stepped around me to stand in front of me, blocking the window.
“Is Erik the only one looking for me?” I licked my lips, trying my hardest not to shut down in fear at the mere mention of his name. “Erik and Yusef?”
“They are looking,” he confirmed.
I appreciated that he didn’t try to lie.
“But we are one step ahead of them. No one is going to get past the Dubinin defenses.”
“Are they the only ones looking for me, though? What about the Riveras? What about any of the men I was supposed to have been sold to?” I hated to be so dependent when I was desperate to be free and independent. But I didn’t hesitate to rest my hands on his chest as he hugged me.
“There is some noise about them too. But Simon—he’s our top cyber expert—he’s watching it all. We have men on this. I’ve headed many operations like this, and I promise you, we are on top of it.”
My worry lingered. In the back of my mind, I had stubbornly known all along that this would be temporary here. Like a fantasy. Not a happily-ever-after. I wasn’t sure I could ever be happy, or safe, forever so long as my brother and his friend lived in this same world.
“Please try to trust me.” He took my hand and kissed it.
I nodded, furrowing my brow and realizing I already was. I did. I trusted Alexsei with my body. I trusted him to make me feel good. But he couldn’t really know that I would be safe from my past for good.
Can he?
I shelved the thoughts. Seeing Misha looking around for me and Alexsei pulled me back into the moment. We both headed out and walked around on a path, admiring the snow. Yet, no matter what I tried to do and how often I paused to correct the track of my thoughts, I was still anxious.
That night, Alexsei came to my room. He stood at the closed door and watched me.
“Is it possible?” I asked, sitting on the edge of my bed. “Is it possible that they could find me?”
“If it becomes more probable, they won’t get you,” he said, coming to sit next to me.
I stared at him as he brushed my hair back behind my ear so he could see me clearer.
“They’d have to kill me to get to you.”
I inhaled a deep breath. Not because the idea of killing my brother or Yusef startled me, but because it sounded too good to be true.
“I’ve…” I frowned, lowering my gaze. Shame lit through me, and I wanted to hide it from him, but he tipped my chin up, prompting me to face him. “I’ve wished for that so many times.”
“That he was dead?”
I nodded, emboldened when not a hint of judgment showed on his face. “Both of them. For all they did to me. When they first took over my life, when the shock was still new, I vowed that I would. That one day, I would get free and kill them both.”
He took my hands and caressed the tops of my knuckles.
“I tried to escape once and barely lived through the beating, but over the years, I lost hope that I’d ever get free to make that come true.”
He leaned in and kissed me softly. “But you are free now.”
Am I? Then why don’t I feel free?
“And I will kill them if they try to retrieve you.”
I rested my hand against his face, letting my brow roll against his. “Why?”
That was the other part of the riddle I didn’t understand. “Why do you care?”
He kissed me, and I felt the slight smile on his lips.
“Why would you do that for me?” I asked as he urged me to straddle him.
“Because it’s who I am.”
“So I’m just a job to you?” I asked, wishing that wasn’t the truth.
He shook his head as he slid his hands under my shirt, rubbing the small of my back. “No. But it is just who I am. I want to protect you, Kalina.”
The kiss he initiated lasted so long that I gasped for air when we parted. My lips stung, so sweetly swollen. My heart raced, so charged with adrenaline and desire. And my pussy ached, already desperate for him.
“I need to know that you are safe, sweetheart.”
My heart grew bigger at that tender endearment. I was stunned that I could even have one after the horrible things Erik and Yusef called me.
“I need to know that you are safe because I care for you.”
And I did him.
I cared so damn much about this gentle giant, so patient and considerate as I found my footing after my escape.
As we kissed again and began to peel away all the layers of clothing we had on, I knew it was time to really show him that, too.
Slowly but with purpose, we stripped each other.
Shirts went flying across the room. My panties slipped down with my bra.
I fumbled to get his pants and boxers off because he was too good at mastering me, already so knowledgeable about how to best push his long fingers into my pussy and get me so close to shattering for him.
Distracted like that, no one would fault me for being delayed in stripping him.
But once we were blissfully naked and flush together on the bed, I was eager to take this last forbidden step with him.
To ensure the choice was mine. My virginity was something I wanted to lose as I saw fit.
With him.
I wanted my first time to be with this handsome lover, this calm yet powerful man who’d kill for me.
This rugged Mafia man who cared for me in a way no one ever had before, with such a corresponding depth of affection that I doubted I’d ever experience again for anyone else.
No fear of being bred entered my mind as I straddled him and ground on his erection.
He lay back, letting me call the shots and determine what we’d do. He was passive, truly intending to let me take what I wanted, whatever that was and however I saw fit.
Rubbing my bare pussy over his long, hard shaft was torture. Witnessing the glistening smear of my arousal coating him and his precum dripping from his tip was filthy perfection.
But I had nothing to fear.
He wasn’t going to breed me.
He didn’t care about knocking me up like Erik and Yusef had preached.
I wasn’t worthless, good for nothing but getting pregnant.
Alexsei had no intention to discard me or use me like that.
He’d proven it nightly, making me come without penetrating me there.
He’d shown me how he could do all he could to make me feel pleasure instead—no rush or obligation to fuck so he’d breed me that much faster.
If that was true, he wouldn’t have wasted all this time to make me feel so loved and wanted. Treasured and worshiped.
When I reached for his dick, stroking my fingers over the steely length, he watched me closely, as if he could intuit my intentions.
“Are you sure, Kalina?”
I nodded, then leaned over to kiss him. He moved with me, not bucking me off but easing up with me still on his lap so he could sit with his back against the headboard.
Framing my face with both of his hands, he kissed me without pause as I tried to line him up. And again. And again. Clumsy, and eager now to feel that initial stretch, I frowned and reared back.
“Do you want me to help?”
I turned, pulling him with me until he hovered over me. Flat on my back now, I enjoyed the new position of spreading my legs wide, anticipating how full he would make me feel.
“Please,” I asked, hoping he wouldn’t be annoyed that I need assistance in losing my virginity.
I did trust him. I wanted this. But it still was the first time. And I was an amateur.
His wide cock head pushed against my entrance, but he didn’t go forward.
Instead, he kissed me and played with my nipples, keeping me on the edge.
When he did thrust forward, stretching me like I never had been before, I gasped and arched my back.
It burned. It felt like too much pressure.
He was so big and thick and I was a petite woman and—
“Trust me, Kalina,” he whispered in my ear before kissing me slowly. Drugged under the spell of his lips on mine, his hands caressing my body like he was worshiping something he didn’t think he deserved, he pushed in further. Then further again.
I almost figured he’d slam all the way inside me. Deep and hard. But that wasn’t right. That was how Erik and Yusef called it. They were the ones who told me I should be ready to be fucked, hard and ruthlessly, because that was what men would want from me.
I wasn’t supposed to be worthy of love or tender touches.
Patience wasn’t supposed to be part of this.
I was supposed to be raped and deflowered.
To be used and then dismissed. But as Alexsei continued to thrust into me, rubbing along the sensitive inner walls of my pussy and urging me closer to letting go, I knew this was something different. Something special.
He was something special. Of course, he was. I’d chosen him to be my first. I picked him to be the one to take my virginity, something I could never give anyone else.
Because deep down, I trusted him with not only my body, and to pleasure me, but also with my heart.
Trapped in his intense stare as he gazed at me, whipping his hips back and forth with every withdrawal and thrust, I saw the connection I couldn’t shy away from.
This wasn’t merely sex.
This wasn’t only my first time having intercourse, when I’d lose my virginity that was intended to be sold to someone I didn’t know or want.
This went deeper. More soulful. Between us, something stronger and more significant was brewing and building.
As I came suddenly, almost blinded by the power of bliss that stole over me, igniting my blood and sizzling my every nerve ending, he kissed me.
With reverence. With pride. With support and everything I could’ve wanted from a lover.
“That’s my good girl,” he rasped against my mouth, still pounding into me steadily.
Oh, God.
He just had to say that. His praise never failed to ramp up my desire and make me come harder. I clutched him as I trembled. I heaved in air as I shivered and rode out the waves of pleasure.
“Come for me like a good girl, Kalina.”
I squeezed my eyes shut tight, so full and stretched. So covered and treasured.
I was safe—safe to let go, once and for all.
As he kissed me again, not lifting his lips off me as he strained and grunted when he came, too, I felt like in his arms, with him filling me like this, I was finally free.
My past would always be a stain on my mind, but with his taking me like no man ever had before, he helped to erase one more big facet of my fate that I swore would never come true.