Chapter 38 Kalina
KALINA
Two months later…
I waited at the mirror for Raisa to adjust the clip in my hair.
Raising my brows high, I caught her reflection.
She also had that holy shit kind of expression as we both listened to Gabriella downright scolding the wedding director.
Or one of them. After this rush of an experience that was supposed to be called “wedding planning”, I was certain that my lovely friend was the director.
“If we ordered white ribbons, then that is what I should be looking at with these bouquets. Does this look like white to you?” Gabriella sassed.
“Jesus,” Raisa muttered, out of earshot from her as I stood at the mirror to make the final touches on my wedding outfit.
“I’ve heard that once you get on the wedding train, there’s no getting off it,” I whispered back conspiratorially, “but, damn.”
“She was like this at my wedding too,” Raisa said.
Sadie paused in helping me adjust my dress.
I knew it wasn’t going to end well when I tried gowns on after I had recovered from giving birth to Nikolai.
Trying on dresses with boobs the size of footballs in the height of cluster feeding would definitely throw off a bust measurement.
I must have tried this dress on after I’d fed my son because this fabric would not stretch over me now.
“She was bridezilla for you?” Sadie asked Raisa.
At the sound of Nikolai slightly fussing in the bassinet we’d brought to this room at the church, so he could be near his dairy cow—I mean, me—Sadie stopped short and went to check on him.
He settled well, to her cooing at him to be a good Nicky.
Josephine babbled in a play pen next to him, since she was becoming a Velcro baby to Sadie too.
Niko had been overjoyed when Alexsei and I told the soldier that we wanted to honor him with our son’s name.
We’d had so many name ideas, but that seemed most fitting.
The quiet and loyal guard had been with us all, as the one who’d come with Alexsei to get me from Central Park, then the only one left standing to defend the cabin.
He’d since been promoted to Alexsei’s former position, as the security expert in the field, while Alexsei supervised from his home office more often than not.
“Well, I was the bride, obviously,” Raisa said. “But I let her have full control over it all. Free rein. I told her to do whatever she wanted, just so long as Ivan was the one I’d be walking down the aisle to meet.”
“I told her the same thing,” I admitted.
Two months seemed like a short time to plan a huge, fancy wedding, but Gabriella clearly came with experience.
“When Alexsei proposed, I figured we’d just do something simple. Sign papers, have dinner. Easy and quick with Nicky.”
Raisa huffed a laugh. Sadie smiled.
“That was her reaction too. Like I was insane to think of dismissing ‘the most important day of my life’.” I cringed as she raised her voice at the wedding planner’s assistant behind us.
I had many important days to mark as milestones.
The day I planned to escape my brother. The day I woke up in the Dubinin mansion.
The day I dared to kiss Alexsei. The day Misha told me he loved me and wanted me to be his mommy.
The day Alexsei proposed, doubly sweet because it was when I gave birth to Nicky.
But that wasn’t all.
The day I passed my first GED course. The day I was officially “hired” at the women’s foundation offices. The day I got my driver’s license. Normal real-world adult stuff that I was behind on.
I was catching up, though.
I was a normal woman now, settled in the very real world so bright with love and hope.
Danger would always lurk in the background, but I was working out and training with my gun that Luka gifted me to be safe and smart.
Just yesterday, Simon updated us about an old negotiation Erik had attempted to plan for me to be sold off to someone in a Greek Mafia family.
Since I killed Erik and Yusef, the cyber expert backtracked through their phones and all records to ensure that no other standing orders were going to cause trouble. In case Erik and Yusef had tried to pawn me off to multiple buyers and screw them all over just to get the most money.
A couple of things popped up, and Luka’s idea was similar to mine, for Alexsei and me to marry quickly, immediately, so no one could ever make a claim on me.
But Gabriella protested. She wanted me to have this huge, fancy wedding. And Luka would always bend over backward to give his wife whatever she wanted.
For the first two months of Nicky’s life, security was high. It was as though until I was Mrs. Alexsei Dubinin, officially and legally and permanently married, the potential for a proposed sale could pop up as a problem.
But here we were, two months of quick and organized planning later.
The big day was here.
And I couldn’t wait for it to start.
Just as soon as Gabriella chilled and forgot about the damn ribbon color for the bouquets.
“Humor her,” Raisa said gently. She was always the voice of reason among the four of us women, older and more mature.
Maybe more wizened and knowledgeable, too, because she had been raised as a proper Mafia princess under the strict and harsh watch of her father, my distant relative.
She just had a no-nonsense attitude, lacking the more spirited fire Gabriella could have.
Or the cool and calculating nature that Sadie had.
“When she and Luka married, she couldn’t have a big wedding.
” Raisa glanced in the reflection of the mirror as if to check that Gabriella wasn’t watching and listening to us.
“She was hunted by her father and there were hits out on her. She couldn’t leave the house because she was attacked every time she did.
When Ivan and I were ready to marry, Miguel was dead and she was safer to leave the house.
So, as she put it, she wanted to live vicariously through me and plan a lovely wedding that she couldn’t have had. ”
“But they did have a wedding,” Sadie said. “I saw the pictures. It was gorgeous.”
Raisa shrugged. “Then hell, I don’t know. If she didn’t live vicariously through planning my wedding, and yours”—she gave Sadie a look—“then maybe she’s just PMSing or something. Who knows?”
“No, that’s not it.” It was Sadie’s turn to look over her shoulder and make sure Gabriella was preoccupied arguing with the wedding planner. “She was talking to me last night, all worried that this wasn’t going to be good enough.”
My jaw dropped. “Not good enough?” That term would always trigger me. All those times Erik and Yusef told me that I wasn’t good enough for anything but being bred…
The way she said it made it sound like I was hard to please and difficult with demands. “I was fine with signing papers and just having dinner at home for a wedding.”
Sadie shushed me. “No. No. Not like that.” She checked that Gabriella wasn’t listening again, stepping closer.
Raisa crowded in too, all ears. “Last night, we were talking about the last-minute details and she was so stressed, worrying that this wedding wouldn’t be grand and lavish and extraordinary enough.
She wanted to make sure that this whole experience, from all the planning and the details of décor, the dinner, the reception—all of it, and obviously, the ceremony itself—even the honeymoon she and Luka planned for you two.
She wanted all of it to be so different and so drastically unlike any preconceptions you might have had in your mind already. ”
Her smile was a sad and sympathetic one.
“Whenever you told us about what it was like and what your brother and his friend told you, about being bred, about being sold, about being a thing to discard to the husband who’d buy you, she got so mad.
She didn’t want to show it, but she talked to me often.
She hated that men had done that to you.
Maybe it triggered her, reminding her of how Luka had just taken her as a debt.
” She shrugged. “Clearly, that’s not an issue.
They are the most lovey-dovey of us all.
But I think she wanted to champion your having something so different from what you were told that it wouldn’t even compare to the memories you probably want to lock up forever. ”
“Oh…” I sniffled, so moved by this confession and explanation. “She’s just so sweet.”
Giving up on the clip in my hair and whether this dress would cover my breasts well, I turned from the mirror and sought out Gabriella.
I reached her and pulled her arm back as she was mid-rant with the planner. As she protested being moved, I didn’t stop. Urging her into a hug, I sniffled again and wrapped my arms tightly around her.
“Um.” Gabriella hugged me back, but she was clearly confused. “Okay.”
“I love you, Gabriella,” I told her. “And this is going to be the best wedding in the history of the world.” I already knew it would be, because I was marrying Alexsei.
She smiled as we parted, but then she looked at Raisa and Sadie. “Is she drunk?”
We all laughed, and I went to Raisa and Sadie and hugged them too, telling them how much I loved them. Within moments, we were all smiles and giggles, admitting that we all were grateful that we had each other like this.
The only thing that spoiled the moment was Luka coming in and asking if we were ready to line up.
“What? No!” Gabriella scowled at him. “We need these bouquet ribbons changed now.”
“It’s fine,” Raisa said. “Right?” She glanced at me, and I nodded.
“They’re lovely as they are, even with the pink ribbon instead of white.” I truly didn’t care, but now that I knew she really wanted to give me an experience that would help me heal, I just wanted her happy too.
“No!” Gabriella stomped her foot and took hers, since she was a bridesmaid. As she held it up close to her face to peer at the wrong ribbon, she sniffed and gagged. “Oh, my God. I told them not to use too many roses. They reek when they smell this strong.”
Sadie furrowed her brow and looked down at her bouquet. Raisa did the same, though her bouquet was slightly different as she was my maid of honor.
“There’s only one rose in here,” Sadie said.
“I hardly smell it,” Raisa added.
Luka snapped his head up. “Are you…?” He pointed at his wife.
Gabriella frowned at him. “What?”
“Are you…” A huge smile lifted his lips. “Gabriella.” He stepped toward her. “Are you trying to keep secrets from me again?”
She rolled her eyes but acquiesced to his hugging her closely. “No. What are you talking about? We have a timeline to stick with here.”
“Are you pregnant again?” he asked softly.
We all gasped.
“You were just complaining about how loudly everyone was chewing yesterday,” I accused. I’d thought she was near her period.
“And you said your coffee has been tasting so disgusting lately,” Sadie added.
“You’re acting like a hormonal bitch, too,” Raisa stated bluntly.
Gabriella furrowed her brow, counting with her fingers as if she were tracing back in time. “What? No…”
Luka chuckled. “Gabriella?”
She squeaked. And gawked at him. “Oh, my God. Am I?”
He chuckled and hugged her. “Only one way to tell.”
She swatted him playfully. “But I said I wanted to wait a while. Andre is such a handful and Helene is still just a baby and…” Slowly, she caved to smiling and hugging Luka back. “What if it’s another girl?”
“I’ll be the happiest father in the world,” he said.
“Hey!” Emil poked his head in through the door. “Is someone getting cold feet or what? People are waiting out there.” He was all smiles, but when he saw Luka and Gabriella all cuddled together and hugging, he rolled his eyes. “I knew it. You are pregnant, Gabs.”
“That hasn’t been confirmed yet,” she snapped at the man who was older than her but technically her stepson.
“According to me, it is. You damn near chewed my head off yesterday because I left my coffee cup near yours and it smelled too bitter.” He paused, smiling at Sadie like he wanted to put a baby in his wife too.
“Okay. Okay.” I clapped my hands. “Let’s get this show on the road. If I wait any longer, I’m going to have too much milk and bust a seam. Nicky will be hungry soon.” It was TMI for the guys, but it was the truth.
That was all it took for Gabriella to snap back to focus. In a flurry of activity, we all got ready to move out toward the church. Luka would walk me down the aisle, and the others were ready to go as members of the bridal party.
Gabriella kissed Luka and then faced me. “I’m sorry if I am pregnant and—”
“Sorry?” I laughed. “That would be great news.”
“Well, I’m sorry if I’m being hormonal and bossy,” she admitted. “But you’re the last one. You’re the last chance for me to plan a wedding for a long time.”
Luka rolled his eyes. “Like we won’t be planning this for Misha. Lev. Andre. Carina, Helene, Josephine, Nicky…”
We all smiled.
“I am grateful for you,” I told her before she hurried to her spot to walk down the aisle.
“And I’m grateful that you are part of our family,” Luka told me as we waited to walk.
I rested my head on his shoulder briefly. “And I’m shocked that all these people are here to celebrate this day.” I had no one. No family to bring as a guest list. Just Raisa. But the church was packed!
“Of course they are here.” He smiled like the proud father figure he was.
The boss. The leader. “Because it’s not just us,” he reminded me.
“Not just those of us who stay at the big house so often. I admire how much you’ve taken charge of your life, Kalina, but never doubt that you have the entirety of the Dubinin Dynasty behind you too. ”
I smiled, nodding once with that promise.
And as I moved down the aisle to promise my love and life to Alexsei who beamed at me from that altar, looking so dapper and fine in his tux with Misha next to him as his best man, I felt like I was free at last. Free to soar and grow, but also with a confidence that I would always have a place to land with my hero.