Chapter 39 Alexsei
ALEXSEI
One month later…
The door to the bedroom opened. It was just enough noise to rouse me in the middle of the night.
“No. For the love of all that’s holy, please don’t tell me he’s still not asleep…” I groaned it quietly as I pushed my head back against the pillow. Chuckling lightly to myself as Kalina approached the bed in the dark of the night, I saw the irony of it all.
Those nights when Misha was a baby and I thought it would never end. That I’d never actually sleep and just be a zombie.
He was easy.
Nicky was something else.
I spent hours walking him. Bouncing him. Rocking. Singing to him, which only made him cry more. I gave him the bottle. Kalina tried to nurse him too.
“Did you try the bicycle leg thing in case he’s just gassy?” I asked her.
I hated for her to get up and try with him, but she admitted that while she loved how I volunteered to handle the bad nights, she couldn’t stand the sound of his crying. And often, he really did prefer her—or the milk she’d give him.
She didn’t say anything.
Sitting up and confused why she was so quiet, I blinked and squinted to find her in the darkness.
Maybe she was just really fucking tired, like I was. And delirious for sleep. I wouldn’t push her to be chatty now.
Yet, as I sat up and she strode toward the bed, I realized no cries came from Nicky’s room.
“Kalina?”
“Home, turn the bedroom light to fifty percent,” she told the smart home devices we used in our brand-new residence.
I blinked, shielding my eyes from the brightness as she came to me. “What…?”
She sat. Next to me and oddly jerky and stiff with the movement, she stared at me.
“What’s going on?”
The last time she’d come to me in the middle of the night with that panicked and anxious expression was when we were at the mansion. When she’d been pushed out of the silent treatment and avoidance of me to inform me that she was pregnant.
Lo and behold, she held out her hand.
With a simple release of her fingers on the item she held, she dropped another slim, white, plastic stick into my lap.
Still blinking, still waking up, and still desperate to sleep for more than five minutes, I let out a harsh exhale, a huff of surprise. My mouth hung open as I was fully pulled out of sleep.
“Are you—”
“Seriously,” she replied, cringing at me with a happy yet ohmigod smile.
“You’re pregnant?” I asked, sounding like a moron because yes, I was holding the test in my hands.
“I’m pregnant!” she replied with more of that ohmigod shock. “Again!”
Laughing lightly, I pulled her over to me to hug her. She was still stunned, but she moved toward me and sat in my lap.
“Kalina, how…” It really was like déjà vu.
When she told me she was pregnant with Nicky, I was so confused and shocked.
We’d used protection at the cabin. All except the first couple of times, we’d taken steps for her not to get pregnant because she hadn’t wanted to then.
She was only just learning about it all, losing her virginity and exploring with me for the first time.
And now, it was still a huge surprise. She’d just had Nicky, and while we waited for the full post-partum period of abstinence, we had made love on our honeymoon, just eight weeks after Nicky was born.
“That was fast,” I admitted with a smile.
She leaned against me, pressing her face against my chest. I felt the rise of her cheek as she smiled too. “It was too fast! I just had a baby. Nicky’s only three months old!”
“It only takes once…”
Sitting up more, she looked at me with that anxiety again. “I know. But Alexsei…” She blew out a deep breath. “I’m scared. I’m worried. And my God. It’s just so soon!”
I smoothed her hair back from her face and cupped her cheek. “You have nothing to be scared about.”
“I know that.” She lowered her gaze and licked her lips, getting more serious.
“I know that now. I mean, sure, I didn’t realize I was actually having contractions and yeah, I had the fastest delivery ever.
I’m not scared about what it’s like to be pregnant and to have a baby—without a freaking epidural!
” She pointed at me as if that had to be a point to address.
“But I still don’t have a clue how to do this.
Look at how exhausted we are. He never sleeps. ”
I smiled, loving her for the bravery of speaking her mind so freely.
“We’re so tired and worn out from one baby. I feel like I know nothing about being a mother.”
“I feel like I know nothing about being a father all over again,” I admitted.
“But you managed to get Misha out of the baby years fine.”
“With help,” I admitted. “And all that help will still be with us now if we want it. We could move back into the mansion for a while. We could let Allan come over and help us find more staff if we want. We can figure it out.” I kissed her, so happy for this news despite how much harder it might be in the short term.
“This baby is a blessing,” she said. “But I just had one!” The incredulous tone had me smiling wider.
“It’s too soon,” she said with a wince.
“It is soon. But I promise we can do this.”
She nodded, hugging me again. After a long moment of just holding each other and catching our breath from the excitement, she pulled back to face me. “I’m so happy to have another baby,” she said softly. “Please don’t think that I’m not.”
I kissed her. I knew her too well to ever doubt that.
“But it’s just so much, so soon.”
“It is.”
“And I wish I could balance other things I want too.”
“Tell me how I can help. I know you don’t want a nanny, but if that would make this more manageable for a little while…”
She smiled. “I think we already found one.” She jerked her thumb over her shoulder. “He’s in the nursery now.”
I furrowed my brow.
“Misha got him to sleep. He read to him.”
My heart couldn’t swell any bigger with love. My sweet son. Both of them. Misha was such a helpful big brother. “He’s going to be so excited about this news.”
She kissed me, clearly agreeing with that sentiment.
“But it is still so much.”
“What can I help with?” I asked.
She shrugged. “I just don’t want other things in my life to be dismissed as I become a mother again, sooner than I realized I might.
” She let out a light laugh. “Maybe I’m na?ve, but I really thought it’d take me a while to get pregnant again, with breastfeeding and how that’s supposed to prevent cycles.
And I don’t know, everything taking time to get back to normal and all. ”
“You felt entirely ‘normal’ to me on our honeymoon,” I teased before I kissed her deeply.
Within a moment, sleep was even further from my mind as we kissed more. And more. When she moaned with need, clinging to me and rubbing against me, I wondered if I needed to get up and lock the door.
“No!” She reared back quickly and pointed at me. “That’s how we get in trouble like this.” Catching her breath, she pouted like she really wanted to finish what we were starting.
“As far as I’m concerned, it’s the best trouble there is to have.”
She sighed, relaxing against me again. “I just want to have the time and chance to learn who I am, too. Not only to be a mother and wife, but to finish school. To keep working with the others at the foundation.”
I stroked my hands down her back, not at all surprised about her concerns. They were valid. And I would do all I could to help her balance it all.
“You will. Misha and I, and everyone else. We will all pitch in so that your needs and wants will never be dismissed. I support you, Kalina. I won’t ever stop encouraging you to do all that you want to set your heart to accomplishing.”
“Even… with another baby on the way?” she asked with a sweet smile.
I nodded. “Especially with another baby on the way,” I replied.
“No matter what, I will always be ready to support you and help you reach all your dreams,” I vowed, sealing it with a kiss.
“How about a dream of getting some sleep?” she joked.
“Oh, that’s a really good one to start with.” I rolled with her, holding her as I got us under the covers. Spooning her and keeping her close, I snuggled in with her and smiled at the soft press of her hair at my chin. “Starting… right now.”
She sighed happily and nestled against me, right where she belonged.