Chapter Nine Gideon
Chapter Nine
Gideon
I want to run in after Lena, hug her to me, and tell her she’s not going any-fucking-where. Goddamn it, I like having her around. It’s been less than two days, but I’m already used to her presence. Her sass. Her smile. And fuck me if I don’t want to touch her.
I can’t.
But I want to.
“Gideon,” Willow begins, and I shake my head, rounding on her.
“What the fuck, Wills?”
“I came over to talk to you, and I found her here on the deck—”
“So you decided to attack her again before the sun is even up? Christ, did you let her take a sip of coffee first?”
“No.” Her shoulders slump, and she closes her eyes. “I mean, yes, she had coffee. No, I didn’t attack her. I was trying to explain why I feel the way I do, and of course she told me that she can’t explain what happened before.”
“You really have to let that shit go.” I push my hand through my sweat-soaked hair. “It’s been five fucking years, Wills. I have a great life here at the ranch. I like my career. I’m good at it, and I make a shit ton of money. So seriously, stop.”
“I had no intention of it escalating. Honest, I was talking to her, she was a little defensive—”
“I wonder why.”
“And then she was telling me that she’ll leave.”
“She’s not leaving.”
Willow’s lips thin as she watches me, and then her eyes narrow. “Wait. She’s not leaving now, or when whatever this is is over, or she’s not leaving ever, Gideon?”
The question is a kick to the solar plexus.
Of course she’ll eventually move on from the ranch. She’s not mine to keep.
But that thought leaves a bad fucking taste in my mouth.
“For now, it’s my job to keep her safe, apparently even from my best friend. So let me make myself crystal clear. We’ll stay out of your way, and while she’s here, you’re not welcome at my place. She deserves to feel safe and comfortable, and apparently I can’t trust you for that.”
Willow shakes her head, but I keep talking.
“Go home, Wills.”
“Gid, I love you.”
“Yeah, I know. I love you too. Go home.”
Turning away, I push through my back door, head straight to the stairs and up to Lena’s room. The door stands open, and she’s stuffing things into the one duffel bag she brought with her.
She’s still wearing my army hoodie, which makes me want to bend her over that bed and fuck her. Hard. Then come all over her back, marking her.
Jesus.
“Lena, you’re not going anywhere.” No fucking way.
“They didn’t approve it?” Her pretty lavender eyes round, and something similar to despair takes up residence behind them, and it makes me want to punch a goddamn hole through the wall.
“I’m not asking,” I reply and step closer. “This is where you’re the safest.”
She shakes her head and starts to pace.
“No, I don’t want to be in the way. I don’t want to make your family uneasy, and—”
“I told Willow that she’s not welcome to come here while you’re living here.”
That makes her stop cold, and she shakes her head. “No, Gideon. I’m not going to be the reason there’s a rift in your family. I won’t be a burden, or an imposition. I don’t want to be anywhere that I’m not welcome. Damn it.”
Her lower lip quivers, and it’s almost my undoing. Who is this woman? The Blackbird I knew never cried in front of me, not until that horrible night. She was almost obstinate, and strong willed.
This little rebel before me is about to have a panic attack.
“Why can’t I ever tell Chelsea no?” she mutters, wringing her hands together. “Why do I let her get me into trouble like this?”
“You’re not in trouble.”
“I ruined your vacation, and then Ryker’s retirement—”
I’m going to kill Willow.
“I ruin everything.”
“Nothing is ruined, Lena.”
The tears are falling now, and I’m not sure if she even hears what I’m saying, so I do the only thing I can think of.
I move right into her and wrap my arms around her, hugging her to me.
She stiffens and tries to hold herself away, but after two short seconds, she gives in and leans into me, her cheek pressed against my chest, and her arms loop around my waist.
“Listen very carefully to me. Do you hear me?”
My lips rest next to her ear, and I’m rubbing my hands up and down her slender back, rocking her back and forth, doing my best to soothe her.
Lena sniffles and nods. “Yeah.”
“I want you here. You’re staying because that’s what I want.
” I swallow hard because she smells so good, and I want to kiss her head, but I have to keep it together.
“I’m not going to ask for you to be reassigned because I’m what’s best for you right now.
I’ve got you here with me for safe keeping.
This is your safe space. Nothing and no one will hurt you. ”
“I might hurt them.” It’s the tiniest whisper, and it breaks my heart.
“No, you won’t.”
“I already am. Willow—”
“Is fine. Apparently she has some misdirected anger, but she’s going to be just fine. You’re important, too, you know.”
That has her pulling back and frowning up at me as she blinks through her tears.
“So you’re going to unpack that bag, and take a deep breath, and then we’re going to have some breakfast.”
She licks her lips and wipes the tears off her face. She’s not crying anymore, which is a huge relief.
I can’t handle it when any woman cries, but Lena? Hell no.
“Do you like it here so far?” I ask her as I tuck her hair behind her ear. I can’t stop touching her.
“It might be the best place I’ve ever been.” She swallows hard. “Your mountains are just so amazing.”
My mountains. She’s adorable.
“Yes, I like it here, but I honestly don’t want to be a burden. This is not the panic attack talking. I never want to make anyone uncomfortable.”
“You’re in my house, and you’re not a burden to me. If Willow has a problem, she can stay at her house.”
Lena shakes her head, but I catch her chin in my fingers.
“Keep shaking your head like that, and you’ll give yourself whiplash. Tell me you’ll stay, Lena.”
Only a second passes before she whispers, “I’ll stay.”
“Good. I’m making steak and eggs for breakfast.” Her stomach growls, making me grin. “I’m hungry too.”
She nods, but she’s not smiling. “I’ll just freshen up and meet you downstairs.”
“Take your time.”
I have to make myself turn to walk away, because every cell in my body wants me to stay here with her. To hold her and comfort her.
Before I reach the door, Lena says, “Gideon?”
“Yeah.” I turn back to find her pulling my hoodie over her head, showing me her bare midriff and the bottom of her white bra. Jesus fuck. Her skin looks smooth and inviting, and I want to know what it tastes like.
“Here, you can have this back.” Her head pops out, her hair in disarray, and she offers it to me.
“Nah, you keep it. You look better in it than I do. See you in a few.”
“You grilled these steaks at six in the morning,” she says as she takes the last bite and closes her eyes. “Like, on the barbecue.”
“How else am I supposed to make them?”
She lifts one shoulder and then finally smiles at me. “It was really good. I can probably hit a target today. We’re shooting, right?”
“That was the plan.” I eye her as I push my empty plate away and pick up my mug of coffee. “But I have questions first.”
“Okay.”
“Have you ever shot a gun?”
“No.”
“Have you ever held one?”
“Not that I remember.” I narrow my eyes, and she smirks. “No.”
“We’ll start here with some instruction, then. Never point the barrel of a weapon at a person, unless you plan to shoot them. So if you’re holding it, keep it pointed at the floor.”
“Okay. Point it at the floor or kill someone. Got it.”
“Some of the weapons I’ll be training you on will have some kick.”
“But you’ll tell me before I shoot it, right?”
“Of course.”
“Okay, let’s go.”
I chuckle and stand to put my dishes in the dishwasher, and Lena follows me. “You’re excited for this.”
“Look, I have some aggression to get out, okay? Sure, I could go punch one of those bags in the gym, and I might do that later, but shooting the hell out of something sounds cathartic.”
It definitely can be, yeah.
But before we can head out of the house, my phone rings, and our ranch manager’s name is on the screen.
“Hey, Dusty.”
“Hey, boss,” the old man says. “A big delivery was just made over at Ryker’s, and we thought it was for the barn, since there’s so much of it. But it’s not for us. It all has your name on it. Want me to bring it over?”
An idea starts to form in my head.
“No, keep it all there. I’ll come get it. It’ll be a couple of hours before I get there.”
“You got it.”
He hangs up, and I turn to Lena. “Change of plans today. You’re getting a tour of the ranch.”
Her eyebrows climb in surprise. “So no target practice?”
“We’ll save it for tomorrow.”
“Cool. How big is it, anyway?”
“About fifty thousand acres.”
Lena coughs. “Holy shit, Gideon. That’s huge.”
I grin at her, and that sassy roll of the eyes has my cock paying close attention.
“The ranch, big guy. Not, you know.”
“No, I don’t know what you could possibly mean.” I cross my arms over my chest, my lips twitching as she scowls, her lips tipped down in the corners. I want to kiss her. “Enlighten me.”
“You have a dirty mind.”
“I have a dirty mind? I’m not the one who went there.”
“Yes, you did. You totally did.”
Yeah, baby, my dick would wreck you, and then you’d beg for more.
That’s definitely a line I can’t cross with this woman, no matter how much I want her.
“Come on.” Without a second thought, I reach for her hand, and she pauses, as if surprised by my touch. “You okay?”
“No, I’m fine.” She slides her palm over mine, and I link our fingers. “I’m just . . . You know that hug earlier?”
“Yeah.”
“It was nice. I don’t remember the last time someone hugged me. I guess I needed it.”
Stepping in front of her, I tip her chin up so her lavender gaze meets my own. “What do you mean?”
“What do you mean, what do I mean?”
“You haven’t been hugged?”
She bites that plump lower lip and glances down at my chest.
“I mean, of course I’ve been hugged. Just not in a long time. Sometimes a person just needs to be touched.”