29. Chapter Twenty-nine
Katie excused herself from a conversation with Megan and some of the Hart cousins and walked over to the refreshments, where she filled a glass of lemonade. Though she’d only previously met a handful of the people in attendance tonight, she’d enjoyed getting reacquainted and meeting some she hadn’t known.
She sipped her lemonade and sensed someone coming up behind her. Turning, she smiled as Ethan joined her. They had spent little time together since dinner, but she was happy he was spending time with family.
“Are you enjoying yourself?” He reached to pour himself a glass.
Despite her internal questions earlier, contentment settled comfortably inside her. “I am.”
“Out there dazzling everyone with your dress?”
She shrugged, ducking her head. “A few people have asked where I got it.”
“Of course they have. Your work is amazing.”
Her smile broke out as she fought not to blush again.
They then turned to watch the crowd. The music and dancing had started some time ago with various tame country and pop songs mixed in with classic polka music. Everyone looked to be having a marvelous time, especially the kids.
Ethan shifted, and Katie turned back to him. He gave her a coaxing smile.
“What do you think about getting out on that dance floor and showing everyone how it’s done?”
She laughed. “I don’t know about showing anyone how it’s done. I’m about as graceful as a baby elephant.”
“Nonsense. I remember you dancing quite well at that little music festival we went to as kids.”
“Oh, my word, don’t remind me. What were we, like eleven?” She shook her head and half-covered her face. She’d been so awkward during those pre-teen and early teenage years. “That was so embarrassing. And your mom has a video of it, doesn’t she?”
“Don’t be embarrassed. We were all having fun. It was great to see you let loose. So what do you say? Do you want to let loose again tonight?” He held his hand out to her, a lively country song just starting up.
She stared at his hand, but how could she say no? “All right.”
Taking it, she gave him a playful smirk as he led her onto the dance floor. “Just make sure we stay away from the punch bowls.”
“Oh, very funny. I guess I had that coming after bringing up the festival.”
She laughed at his exaggerated eye roll and let him lead her into the dance. In hindsight, wedges weren’t the best dancing shoes, especially for up-tempo songs, but all her misgivings soon faded in the fun. She and Ethan danced to a few songs together before Marshall and Charlie joined them. Then, the four of them danced for a time, though laughter often overtook any actual dancing. Once the kids had run off with cousins and friends, Katie and Ethan coupled up again.
They’d just completed a polka when a new song started, soft and slow.
Ethan glanced at the DJ. “Oh, now we’ve got a slow oldie. Someone must have made a special request.” He lifted his brows at Katie. “What do you think?”
She would recognize the romantic opening notes of the song anywhere—I Swear by John Michael Montgomery, one of Grandma’s favorites. In their later years, it had been her and Grandpa’s song, and she had played it at least once a week on her old cassette player. In fact, one of the only clear memories Katie still had of her grandpa was of him and Grandma dancing to it in the kitchen.
She smiled at Ethan as the sweet memory played in her mind. “Why not?”
He mirrored her smile. “Why not.”
He took her hand and rested his other lightly on her waist as they slowly danced to the song. Katie focused on the lyrics she hadn’t heard in far too long. Grandma had always said Grandpa embodied every one of them, and Katie should find a man who did the same. A man who would stand beside her through her life and be there no matter what—the good and the bad.
Drew drifted into her mind again. Did he embody those lyrics? This was the first time she’d asked herself that question. Memories floated in, one after another, of moments he both had and hadn’t been there for her. No one was perfect. People let each other down. It was just the product of living in a sinful world. She knew she was letting him down by staying in Two Lakes. But there were definite moments he should have been beside her. Moments like Grandma’s funeral. He hadn’t been there.
But Ethan had.
From the moment she showed up at the church that horrible morning until now, he’d been at her side through everything. He was the one who supported her dreams and decisions. He knew and understood her in ways Drew never had, even after three years together.
The lyrics spoke of old age but love never aging. When she imagined her future and where she’d be when she was Evelyn’s age or even Grandma’s age, she found she couldn’t picture Drew there with her. Just trying to conjure up the image took effort and felt foreign.
But Ethan—seeing him at her side—that was easy. That was natural. He always had been there, and she had no doubt he always would be.
She suddenly became aware of how they’d drawn closer during the song. Ethan’s arm now wrapped around her, and his chin brushed against her hair as they swayed with the music, his breath warming the base of her neck. Whether she had closed the distance or he had, she couldn’t even say, but she didn’t pull back. Instead, she sunk deeper into the security of his arms. He, more than anyone else she’d ever known, made her feel safe.
The song ended, and it was as if Katie snapped back to reality from a dream. For one final second, she just stood there in Ethan’s arms. But then he let her go, and they both stepped back from each other. Her thoughts all jumbled, and she didn’t even know what to do with her hands now that they were empty. What had just happened? Her heart kicked up a gear, further muddling her mind.
Ethan cleared his throat, an odd expression on his face. “Wow, that was, uh…real 90s throwback.” He seemed almost as flustered as she was. An awkward pause followed before he grasped at something to say. “Would you like more lemonade?”
Katie nodded, perhaps a bit too vigorously.
They walked back over to the refreshment table. Now would be a great time to make a joke and break the awkward tension, but her mind would not cooperate. Without a word, he poured her a glass before taking one of his own. She gulped down a sip, nearly swallowing wrong. Too many disjointed thoughts flew around in her head for her to think straight.
So they both sipped their lemonade in silence. She kept stealing glances at him, too afraid to actually catch his eye. He seemed just as hesitant. The longer the silence stretched out, the more awkwardness crept in, and panic spiraled deep inside her. Something had transpired during the dance. An awareness that had been slowly growing over the past few weeks had fully awakened in her tonight. An awareness she’d unintentionally made far too apparent, creating this discomfort between them and putting their friendship in jeopardy.
When the next song ended, an announcement came that it was time for the send-off. Katie hadn’t even realized how late it had gotten. Everyone gathered at the barn’s entrance with sparklers, seeing the bride and groom off with great cheering. Katie tried to enjoy the magical moment but found herself utterly distracted.
After Abby and her husband had driven away, everyone else exchanged goodbyes and trickled toward their own vehicles. Nighttime quietness settled as Katie and Ethan walked back to his truck. The silence continued until they were about a mile up the road. Finally, Ethan spoke, his casual tone forced. “All the kids sure had fun tonight. I remember what that was like.”
Katie flashed a quick smile. “Yeah, me too.”
Another stretch of silence.
“The popcorn bar was great.”
She nodded, adjusting her seatbelt that, for some reason, felt too tight. “I loved that. It was a fun idea, especially since there were so many kids.”
She drew a slow breath. Why couldn’t she think of more to say? Conversation had never been so stilted between them before, and fear gripped her chest with every fluttery heartbeat. What if she had irreparably changed things between them? How would she live with that? He meant more to her than anyone else—more than she’d even fully realized before tonight.
Painfully awkward snatches of conversation marked every couple of miles of the drive. Katie hated the relief she experienced when they pulled up in front of the cottage. But she needed time to process and think clearly. Hopefully, she could figure out how to fix the colossal error she’d made tonight, and things would return to normal between them. If it didn’t, her life would turn upside down again, and this time, she wouldn’t have Ethan to turn to. That thought nearly shattered her inside.
Gathering as much optimism as she possessed, she turned to him with a smile. “Thanks for inviting me. It was a lovely evening.” And it was, right up until she’d let herself feel things she’d never felt before.
His comfortable answering smile helped soothe a little of the fear swirling inside her. “I’m glad you came. I’ll see you in the morning.”
She nodded and let herself out of the truck. Once she was inside and he had driven away, she breathed a huge sigh, feeling as if the entire world had shifted.
Ethan pulled up to the cabin and just sat there, staring off into the trees barely illuminated by his porch light. He didn’t know what to think of what had happened. Something had, but what? He’d gone over and over the dance in his mind. The natural way she’d fit in his arms. The moment he’d let himself imagine what it would be like to share his life with her. He’d been so dangerously close to confessing everything. To telling her that every poignant lyric of that song was how he felt about her.
But as soon as the music had ended, the spell had broken. Everything had shifted after that, creating the awkwardness he’d always feared. His actions had likely spoken louder than any words and revealed the truth he’d been hiding for so long. A truth that could ruin everything.
He ran his hand through his hair. He should have done a better job of keeping his feelings in check. He’d let his guard down, and now both he and Katie might pay for it.
His phone dinged, the screen lighting up the cab. He grabbed it and saw a text from Becca.
I made decaf if you want to join me for a late night coffee.
The text brought a slight smile to his face. He could use a coffee and time to let his racing thoughts settle before bed. After changing into a more comfortable pair of shorts and sweatshirt, he headed to the house. Becca waited on the porch with a mug all prepared for him.
Sinking into the seat beside her with a sigh, he sipped the coffee. “Thanks.”
He studied her face in the warm glow of the lights strung along the porch. She looked tired. Not that he could blame her after the eventful evening, but it was deeper than that. This had been the first big family event they’d attended since she’d come home from Duluth. He’d been so caught up with everything involving Katie he hadn’t thought about how anxious she must have felt leading up to the wedding.
“Were you able to enjoy tonight?”
She smiled and nodded. “More than I thought I would. I was nervous about it, but it turned out all right.”
“Did anyone say anything?”
“A couple of people asked me how I was doing, but I think most were reluctant to bring it up. Sometimes, it’s the avoidance that’s the worst, though. They all know what happened, but if they don’t say anything, then I have no way of knowing what they’re thinking. Most of the family is very gracious and understanding, but there are always a few you can’t quite tell.”
He gave her a knowing look. “Like Great Aunt Florence.”
She smirked. “Like Great Aunt Florence. I think she was the only one not having any fun tonight.”
“Her loss.”
Becca stared at him for a long moment—long enough for him to squirm because he knew the direction this conversation was heading.
“It looked like you and Katie had fun.”
“We did.”
“And?”
Ethan sighed, exhaustion suddenly settling. “You already know my feelings and that Katie is my friend.”
“Just friends don’t dance like you two did tonight.”
“I don’t think Katie saw it that way.”
Becca didn’t look at all convinced. “It’s not like you were forcing her to lean into you like she was. She looked pretty comfortable to me.”
For the hundredth time tonight, he replayed those moments. Did he dare hope Katie shared his feelings? It was a dangerous hope. If he opened his heart to the possibility now and was wrong, he wasn’t sure he’d ever fully recover from it. No, he couldn’t let himself hope. Especially not with the awkward way they’d left things. The dance may have said one thing, but Katie’s behavior afterward said another. Perhaps she’d just gotten caught up in the moment and regretted it afterward, in which case, he felt at fault for putting her in that position. After all, he should never have been slow dancing with another man’s girlfriend.