Chapter 61
“I thought you’d be happier to see me,” Larkos said, “or at the very least your boat. It’s not easy chasing a man down in this country when I have no idea where he’ll be.”
Gaeren tried to smile but suspected it came out like a grimace. He scratched at the scar of his bond mark, picturing Aeliana in the woods, grinning up at him with that teasing glint in her eye. Why hadn’t Larkos come just another day later?
“A lot has happened,” he said.
“I have letters for you and Riveran. Enla must have seen our reunion because she sent them to me in Valorian, knowing I’d get them to you.
” He chuckled as he sat on Gaeren’s desk, an action that previously would have made Gaeren threaten demerits.
“In some ways, those letters gave me the confidence to keep sailing west, knowing I’d find you one way or another.
It’s handy having a sister who can see the future, eh? ”
Gaeren laughed, but it held no humor. “Not sure that’s the word I’d use to describe it.
” Had Enla seen all this? She must have if she’d pushed him to break his bond with Lenda.
But what reason would she have for encouraging him to fall for Aeliana?
Sure, she cared for his happiness, but everything always boiled down to the good of Vendaras.
Even as he pictured Aeliana waiting for him back in Bayla’s home, the visions he’d seen of Enla’s and Aeliana’s futures revolved in his mind. By breaking his bond with Lenda, had he put Enla in danger? Or Aeliana?
Without meaning too, he’d followed Sylmar’s request and solidified Aeliana’s trust in him.
Even though that hadn’t been his intention, would it still put him on a path to find out Aeliana’s true motives?
Would he discover she was branded just like Sylmar suspected?
He shook away the suspicion, trying to bring back the image of her asking him for a kiss.
“Well, since you’ve gone mute, I’ll go ahead and give you the letter now and find Riveran to deliver his.” Larkos tossed an envelope on the table, then stood, ambling his way toward the door out of Gaeren’s quarters.
Gaeren stared at the familiar script, his longing for home warring for his hope in a new home, because what did his old home hold for him anymore?
Parents who were losing their hold on this world.
A sister who gave him conflicting advice every time she saw him, changing her instructions at the whim of every vision she happened to see.
A class of noblemen and noblewomen he could never relate to.
He lifted the envelope, and despite knowing he would question everything she had to say in the letter, he ripped it open and pulled it out.
Dear Gaeren,
I have been so afraid of which future you might pick.
It’s my greatest hope that you’ve made good choices that have led you to a place to receive this letter.
But I’m still afraid that you have not. That you’ve placed others’ welfare before your own and my letter has no destination.
Too many of your paths fade because your love grows too deep.
Please don’t forget how much you’re needed.
Please don’t forget that sometimes the way you can save others is by saving yourself.
Mother and Father are still upset. I’m not going to sugarcoat that truth.
But I have not marked you as a traitor. I know the heart behind your words.
I know you desire the best for our people.
Even if you and I have different ways of getting there, we have the same end goals in mind. Don’t forget that either.
I’ve seen things. Things I can’t put in writing, but things I need to tell you.
I’m terrified of what’s to come. Not just of the possibilities, but of the certainties.
So many of the paths narrow and our options are too slim.
If Larkos gave you this letter, you should be near Rykarn.
Please come see me before you head off on any more adventures.
I know your missions are important. I’ve seen your goals and I won’t keep you from them.
But you can’t reach them without hearing what I have to say.
Please come see me.
Your loving sister,
Enla
The chill that had begun crawling down Gaeren’s back settled over the base of his spine, leaving a dull ache that felt more threatening than the Sayhleens when they’d been at their worst. He didn’t want to think of Enla as the enemy, but he had to consider the possibility that this was a trap placed by his own sister, sanctioned by his parents.
And then he also had to consider the possibility that it wasn’t.
What had she seen and how would it impact his ability to protect both Aeliana and Enla?
The idea that their end goals were in line felt ignorant.
He could call his sister many things, but ignorant was not one of them.
Not when she could see all the possible paths of the future.
Not when she sought them out to her own detriment.
She sounded clear in the letter, but how much more had her mind failed since he’d last seen her?
Was Croft keeping her from overusing her power?
A knock sounded on the door of his cabin, and without thought, he bade them to enter. Riveran stood in the doorway, the concern on his face twisting the X on his forehead. “What did your letter say?”
Gaeren frowned, having forgotten that there had been a letter for Riveran as well.
It wasn’t the first Enla had sent Riveran, and it seemed inappropriate now that she was married to Croft.
Or perhaps it simply rubbed him wrong, knowing that she’d likely given Riveran instructions because she didn’t trust Gaeren to follow hers.
“She wants me to come see her,” Gaeren said.
Riveran nodded, then licked his lips, glancing down at the paper in his hand. “She insists I bring you to her,” Riveran admitted.
Gaeren snorted. “Was her letter as cryptic to you, or does she spell things out more plainly to someone who’s not her sibling?”
Riveran shook his head. “If this is her speaking more plainly, then I’m afraid for her.”
That same chill in Gaeren’s back broadened, reaching around like ice in his stomach. “What do you mean?”
Riveran hesitated, then passed the letter to Gaeren.
It started out much like the letter he’d received, urging Riveran to bring Gaeren home, insisting they were not in trouble and that she could deal with her parents.
But there were times where her pen trailed off, as if she’d lost her thought midway through the sentence.
There were even statements that held affection, proof that either her bond with Croft had never fully taken or that her mind was deteriorating and falling back into the past when she’d cared for Riveran so deeply.
“I wasn’t sure if I was going to go,” Gaeren said, “but I can’t ignore this.”
Riveran’s face relaxed. “What about Aeliana and the others?”
Gaeren rubbed the scar on his palm, then slid his hand under his sleeve to touch the braid.
Aeliana planned to return to the Myndren Mountains, but he couldn’t go that far.
Not if Enla needed him. And yet how could he leave Aeliana now?
Especially if Sylmar suspected she was branded.
He squeezed his eyes shut, unable to consider that possibility.
If Aeliana was branded by Mayvus, she wouldn’t express affection for him, would she?
And yet how had Iris been fooled by Holm’s brand for moons?
This decision went far deeper than his feelings for Aeliana or even for his need to protect his sister.
Both women would want him to protect the Vendaran people.
Staying with Aeliana could allow him to protect the Vendaran people’s future leader if the Recreants had their way.
But staying with Enla could help him pave the way for Aeliana to have that future while still protecting his sister.
“They don’t need us right now,” Gaeren said slowly. “In fact, the distance might be good for a time.”
“It’s all right for you to be with Aeliana,” Riveran said. “Breaking your bond freed you from a connection you didn’t willingly make.”
“That’s not why I want distance. But I’m glad she and I will at least be parting on good terms. It should be temporary.
” Even as he said the words, his heart ached over the idea of saying goodbye.
“We were born in opposing families, but we’re not destined to always be at odds.
Not if I have any say in it. I just can’t ignore Enla’s plea for help. Not after—” He glanced at Riveran.
“The sprites?” Riveran asked.
Gaeren nodded, then clenched his teeth as he folded up Enla’s letter.
“So you’ll let them sail on without you? In your ship?”
“It was a gift from my parents to distract me and appease me. It served its purpose. Now, it’s the Recreants’ ship. To the Deep and Back was never truly mine. Larkos can use it as he sees fit.”
Riveran’s mouth swung open, but Gaeren strode past him and out onto the deck. Several of the sailors greeted him while they worked, including Brogdon, who seemed far more at ease than when Gaeren had last seen him before they’d crossed the barrier.
Erech gave him a grin and salute from where he swabbed the deck, looking taller and tanner than Gaeren remembered. He returned the boy’s smile but didn’t change course as he made his way to Larkos, who instructed several sailors where to put supplies being brought on board.
Larkos showed little surprise when Gaeren shared his plans, but his suspicions ran far deeper than Gaeren’s own.
“Do you think she’s always telling you the truth?” Larkos asked.
“No,” Gaeren admitted. “I think she tells me whatever she thinks will get me going down the path she wants me on.”
Larkos nodded. “Well, at least you’re not as oblivious as you seem.” The words came out on a huff that softened the barb.
“You asked me in Andel how I could best serve the Recreants, how I could make a difference for my people.” Gaeren frowned, his gaze on the door, his mind conjuring Aeliana and all the ways he thought protecting her might be best for the people.
But despite Lady Merinnia’s warnings, he couldn’t believe that protecting both Aeliana and his sister was impossible.
“I still think Aeliana is key to the Recreants’ success.
I can’t explain why. But things have changed, and I no longer have a role as her protector.
Perhaps I was only meant to help her get through Sayhla Island.
I don’t know. But Enla calling me home is an opportunity I can’t pass up.
You and the southern Recreants were right.
I can do more to thwart my family’s power if I take my place as throne warden. ”
The decision left him uneasy even though he knew it was right.
Going up against his family while pretending to support them was the deepest sort of lie he’d ever told.
But it was for their own good. He patted the arrow in his pocket, remembering his rash promise to the southern Recreants.
He didn’t regret making it. Taking down their throne from within would be far less bloody than letting the Recreants take it down from outside.
Besides, if he stayed with the Recreants, Sylmar would keep pushing him to spy on Aeliana, and that was a line he wasn’t willing to cross.
“You don’t think she knows you’ve switched sides? After all, she sees the future.” Larkos’ words held a hint of fear, one of those rare moments Gaeren was reminded the hardened sailor saw him as a son more than a prince.
“Whether or not she’s seen my discussions with Recreants in the possible paths or whether she’s seen this exact conversation, she’s confident she and I have the same end goals. That’s why she’s called me home.”
“Are you so sure?” Larkos asked. “Sylmar likes to keep his enemies close. How do you know your sister isn’t doing the same?”
Gaeren shrugged. “I think if she saw me as a true enemy in the future, she would have already put an end to my path. As much as she loves me, she will always love Vendaras first.”
Saying the words out loud was painful. He didn’t want them to be true, but it was a reality he couldn’t ignore. Not any longer. Enla put the future of Vendaras before her own health and safety, so he couldn’t ever assume she would do any different for him.
“She’s not evil,” he added, feeling a need to defend her. “I think she means it when she says she’s doing what’s best for her people. I’m just not sure she knows what’s truly best. Not anymore. She thinks we’re both fighting for the same thing. She doesn’t realize how little our paths align.”
Larkos’ eyebrows raised, shifting the tattoos lining his scalp. “Strange words about someone who can see possible paths in the future.”
Gaeren winced, wondering if he’d underestimated his sister.
Was he wrong? “Just because she can see the possible paths doesn’t mean she interprets them well.
She used to berate me for not trying hard enough with Lenda.
Then she insisted I break my bond. She changes which path she wants me to take on a whim when she sees something new.
When I return, she’s probably going to tell me to mend things with Lenda.
Her mind is breaking. I don’t know that we can trust her visions anymore. ”
Larkos nodded. “Calia always feared as much for her. It’s why she has a soft spot for her, even though she’s destined to be queen.
Calia’s mother had a similar fate. She lived a long life, but the last twenty years were spent in her mind, living out some future path no one else could see. It was difficult to watch.”
Gaeren’s fear for his sister grew tenfold.
“Why have you never told me this?” he asked, even though he knew it wouldn’t have made a difference. Enla’s choices were her own, and he couldn’t stop her from this path. Not if it was one she wanted to take.
“Because I still have hope for her.” Larkos’ smile held a strange sorrow. “Even Calia still has hope for her. Enla has something Calia’s mother didn’t. She has you.”