Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Eleanor had seen her son at every stage of life.
She’d seen him when he was a squalling infant, red-faced and utterly perfect, dependent on others for every need.
She’d seen him as a mischievous child who had found every preexisting way to get into trouble and invented a few more besides.
He’d actually been relatively good-humored, as far as teenagers went, but he’d had his moments…
and Eleanor had been there for those too.
Therefore, it was extremely silly that she was so nervous about his arrival. But she was. She had to admit, as she fussed over the line of books in the science fiction section, that she was both nervous and extremely silly.
Jeremy was a college student, not to mention her son. He wasn’t going to judge her for having a few specks of dust on her high shelves… dust motes that weren’t there, obviously, since she’d wiped up there.
Twice.
Except, as she moved over to the self-help section and saw titles like Overcoming Denial and Transferring Emotions, she had to admit that her stress over making certain that the bookstore was really in order was actually about Jeremy and Garrett meeting for the first time.
She checked her phone for what had to be the thirtieth time in the past hour, but found no further updates from Jeremy.
She’d heard from him early that morning to tell her that his flight was delayed by a few hours, and then again confirming that they had actually taken off. But after that, nothing.
And she knew that he was an adult, that he lived on his own, traveled on his own. She knew that he could get from place to place without her interference.
But just because her kid was grown up didn’t mean that she suddenly lost her protective mom instincts. So, between that and the ‘meet the boyfriend’ situation, she was, in a word, a total wreck.
She was, indeed, so much of a wreck that when the door to the shop opened, she practically jumped out of her skin, never mind that this was a public business and people coming inside was kind of the whole point.
This time, however, it wasn’t a customer coming through the door; it was Garrett.
“Hey, honey,” he said, a warm smile curling from behind his beard as he crossed the store to kiss her on the cheek. He glanced down at the dust rag in her hand and raised an eyebrow. “Is this normal cleaning or stress cleaning?”
She hid the rag behind her back.
“I plead the fifth,” she told him.
He chuckled, then used his longer reach to snatch the rag from behind her, then tucked it in the basket where she kept all her cleaning equipment.
“Listen,” he said, wrapping a soothing arm around her shoulder.
“It’s going to be good. You are going to have a wonderful time with your son.
So these nerves… this is not the energy you want to bring to the table.
” He rubbed a reassuring hand on her side.
“Get excited! This is going to be a great time!”
Eleanor leaned her head on his shoulder, soaking in his solidness and warmth.
“You know you’re acting nuts when the town grump is the one telling you to lighten up,” she teased.
He huffed out a laugh before pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
“I didn’t say nuts,” he said. “I would never use that word. But if the shoe fits…”
She pretended to shove him, and he, laughing, feigned an injury. She stuck her tongue out at him.
It was silly, in a harmless, childish sort of way…
Which meant, of course, that this was the exact moment when Jeremy walked through the door.
Eleanor froze as though she had been caught doing something wrong. That was ridiculous, obviously. But for a moment, she felt like she was the kid, and a naughty kid at that.
“Jeremy!” she exclaimed, her voice sounding weird and high-pitched even to her own ears. “Hi!”
Her son looked bemused, which really was fair enough. She was acting so strange.
“Hey, Mom,” he said.
Then, he dropped his bag to the side and came across the room to hug her, and the weirdness was gone. As her arms went around her son, all her nerves vanished. Jeremy was finally here! Her son, her baby!
“Hi, sweetie,” she said, rocking back and forth as she squeezed him with all her might. “Oh, my gosh, I am so, so, so happy to see you!”
He returned her hug with equal vigor.
“Me too, Mom,” he said into her hair. It had been years since Jeremy’s height had surpassed hers, but Eleanor would never get used to the idea that he wasn’t small enough that she could tuck him under her arm any longer. “I missed you.”
After one last squeeze, she let him go. She needed to get a good look at him, after all.
“I missed you too, honey. Did you grow taller? You look taller.”
He laughed. “I think my growing days are behind me.”
Eleanor couldn’t resist putting a couple more loving pats on his arms and shoulders. Then, she remembered.
“Oh!” she exclaimed. “Jeremy, sweetheart, this is Garrett.” She stepped aside so she could extend an arm to her boyfriend, inviting him to step forward. “Garrett, this is my son, Jeremy.”
There was nothing at all impolite about the handshake that the two men exchanged, but there was nothing beyond politeness in it either. Eleanor knew that she shouldn’t be disappointed by this, but some part of her, deep down, had wanted them to immediately hit it off.
Or maybe it wasn’t that deep down at all, actually, since a frown threatened to pop up on her features.
“It’s real nice to meet you,” Garrett said gruffly.
“Yeah, you too,” Jeremy said vaguely. As soon as he dropped the handshake, he rubbed a hand over his face, then down the back of his neck.
The gesture drew Eleanor’s attention to the weariness in his posture, which she knew was fair.
With all his delays, what should have been a short flight from Pittsburgh to Boston had taken her son more than eight hours, and he’d been up since well before the sun had risen above the horizon.
An awkward silence followed.
“So, what do we think about all going to get lunch together?” Eleanor asked brightly.
“I have a part timer who helps out here at the shop, and she’s coming in, so we can grab something quick or even take the afternoon, if we feel like it.
And the weather isn’t so nice, obviously, but maybe we could take a quick walk, just to get ourselves moving a little bit while the day is at its warmest…
not that that counts for much,” she admitted.
There was another uncomfortable pause. She was babbling. Why was she acting like she’d never spoken to either of these men before, when they were actually among the closest people in her life?
Jeremy gave her a sheepish expression. “You know, Mom, I’m kind of wiped. I don’t know that I’m up for much more than a nap, not without being really bad company.”
“Oh,” she said. “Yeah, right. Of course.”
“Another time,” Jeremy reassured her, although he didn’t sound all that enthusiastic about it. But surely that was just because of his long journey, right?
“Of course,” Garrett said gruffly.
He placed a hand gently on Eleanor’s shoulder, clearly a consoling gesture, but Eleanor watched as Jeremy’s gaze went to the gesture.
She hoped that her son didn’t have secretly mixed feelings about her new relationship.
He had always said he was happy for her, but plenty of kids, even adult ones, had complicated emotions surrounding their parents’ divorces.
“Of course!” she echoed, her tone so bright that everyone in the room knew she was overcompensating, even her. “We’ll plan a whole day together soon, after you’ve rested. We’ll figure out things that everyone will like. It will be so, so, so much fun!”
That was at least one “so” too many. Eleanor didn’t know what was worse: keeping smiling like she was doing or giving up and melting through the floor.
“That sounds great, Mom,” Jeremy said, stepping forward to brush a kiss over her cheek. “Is it okay if I go upstairs and grab a shower and a nap? I feel like I’m all gross from the plane.”
“Yeah, of course,” Eleanor said in that same goofy, cheerful tone. Goodness gracious. “It’s right up the stairs. Bathroom is the first door on the left, guest room is right across the hall.”
“Great, thanks,” he said, lifting his duffel and slinging it back over his shoulder. “Garrett, nice to meet you.”
“You too,” Garrett said. Did he sound gruffer than usual, or was it just his regular gruffness? Eleanor couldn’t tell. She’d lost all perspective on this thing.
Jeremy went upstairs, and Eleanor felt herself deflate.
“Was that terrible?” she asked her boyfriend, leaning back more heavily against him now that her son was out of the room. “I feel like I was acting so weird.”
“It wasn’t the most normal I’ve ever seen you,” Garrett admitted, his tone tinged with fondness as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders. “But it’s okay. He’ll understand.”
“Ugh,” Eleanor said. Then, she leaned her head back so she could look at him upside down. “Any chance you want to go grab lunch even if Jeremy is out of commission?”
He gave her a rueful look. “I really should make some more progress on that barn door,” he said. “Sorry, babe. I’ll see you later, though?”
“Yeah, yeah, go,” Eleanor said, trying to hide her disappointment. It wasn’t either Garrett or Jeremy’s fault that she had cleared her schedule without consulting them first. “I’ll see you tonight.”
“Probably late,” he said, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Don’t plan on me for dinner. Just have a nice time with your son.”
She forced a smile. That was all that she wanted, but this first meeting hadn’t gone exactly the way she’d hoped, and that made it tough to be optimistic.
“We will,” she reassured him anyway. “Good luck with your carving.”
He gave her one last absent wave as he headed out the door, leaving Eleanor standing all alone in her immaculate bookshop. There wasn’t even cleaning for her to do to distract herself, and there was always cleaning to do.
She decided to take one last pass at the shelves, just to be extra certain… and to distract herself from the disappointment that rose inside her like the tide.