Chapter Three #2
“No appetite,” she said. “If I get hungry, I’ll Change and hunt.”
She could tell Nory was considering it.
“Please?”
“This place is about to fall down around us,” Nory pointed out.
“Go get by the door,” she said, gesturing toward the exit.
The front door had been boarded up from the inside.
When Nory was out of the way, she went and tested the walls, pushing her hand against them.
She tried the support beam that was near the dilapidated side of the house, but it only creaked. She tried again, but it wasn’t budging.
“This place has probably been here for eighty years. It’ll stand another couple of days.”
Nory cocked her head and offered a sympathetic smile and then nodded. “Liam and I are camping just outside tonight. I’ll bring you some food, and our extra sleeping bag.”
“But then you’ll be cold,” Delta argued.
“Next to Liam? Impossible. He’s the temperature of a bonfire. The extra sleeping bag is just sitting in the back seat of his truck.
“I need to grab my bag before Nate leaves.”
“Want me to get it?” Nory asked.
But Delta shook her head. She needed to be tough about all of this. She needed to end this with her head held high. She and Nate would still be in the same Pack. She would have to find some kind of stability between them. “I’ve got this.”
Nory followed her out and veered toward Liam’s truck, squeezing her hand just before they parted.
The guys were still arguing, but it was more subdued, and the fireworks seemed to be over.
Nate’s eyes locked on her and he approached, his hand out like he wanted to help her over an uneven patch of ground.
“I’m good,” she clipped out, and passed him by, heading for his truck.
He caught up to her and slowed his stride to walk with her. “Can we talk?” he asked.
“Not right now.”
“Please, Delta—”
Delta turned and hugged him up tight. Nate froze under her touch, his hands clenched at his side.
“I liked what we were for a little while, and I appreciate all that you did. You built me a garden, and I loved it. You let me have peace. You let me move into your space and made room for my belongings and bought me all those nice things for the kitchen.”
The tension in his body didn’t relax at all, and that was that. He couldn’t relax with her, and there was something so wrong about that.
He wasn’t hers.
She released him and stepped back, clenching her hands behind her back so she could hide how much she wanted to hug him again. It was their first. First and last.
She inhaled deeply and couldn’t meet his eyes. Instead, she stared at their shoe prints in the snow.
“It wasn’t so bad being paired to you at times, and I will miss parts of it,” she said, preparing her goodbye in her mind.
“I hope that someday we can be friends. Pack mates are supposed to be friends.” She gestured to the others, who were gathering around Liam’s firepit, casting glances over here at her and Nate, and talking low amongst themselves.
“The Rogue Pack hasn’t figured that out yet, but hopefully it will.
Hopefully we can figure that out someday too.
” She forced a smile, but her stupid lip was trembling and there were tears in her eyes again.
“Sorry,” she whispered shakily as she wiped her eyes. “I’m trying to do this good.”
“You’re doing great,” he said softly, and when she looked up at him, there was a softness to his eyes.
“We’re both going to do great. I hope for the best things for you, Nate.”
“What will you do?”
She shook her head. “It’s not for you to worry about anymore.”
He ran his hand down his short beard and paced off, then turned back and nodded, his eyes on the snow. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be. You just never felt it. Not your fault. I’m… fuck.”
“You hardly ever cuss,” he pointed out.
“Yeah.” She offered him another tear-stained, forced smile. “It’s been a day. I feel like…shoot.”
“What?” he asked.
“I feel like I’m not enough and I hate it.”
“It’s not that. You’re pretty.”
She hung her head. “I wasn’t talking about being pretty, Nate.” She inhaled deep, searching for strength. “I’m staying here. I’m pretty tired, so I just need to grab my bag, and I’ll be out of your hair.” Forever.
“Fuck,” he murmured, his hands on his hips as he started out into the woods.
“We tried,” she said kindly.
“Did we?” he asked, his voice thick.
Delta pursed her lips into a thin line. “I tried.” Even she could hear the truth in her voice.
His eyes sparked with some emotion she couldn’t read, and she couldn’t do this anymore. She was building up to big tears again, and she wanted to end this strong. “Goodbye, Nate.”
“I’ll see you again. We’re in the same Pack. Or whatever this is.”
“That’s not what I meant?” She’d meant goodbye as her mate. She would have the paperwork filled out to dissolve their pairing by tomorrow.
She inhaled raggedly and gave him a wave and then forced herself to turn around and finish the trek to his truck.
“Let me,” he said, appearing beside her. He pulled her bag out of the back of his truck, but she took it from his hands.
“I’ve got it.” She swallowed hard and tried to smile at him. “I’ve got this,” she said with more conviction.
Nate licked his lips and parted them like he wanted to say something more but didn’t. She was glad. She wanted the goodbye to be done. She wanted him to leave so she could fall apart because that felt detrimental right now. The drive here had been eternal and had drained her emotionally.
She would have to break into pieces in order to glue her life back together. God, she hoped it would be better. She hoped she could do this. She hoped she could find something good at the end of all this mess.
She had really liked him. Delta had truly and deeply cared for him and made future plans. Imagined her babies with his eye color. She’d been happy in the slow build, but it hadn’t been the same for him, and now the continuation of that life had been snapped in half like a twig.
She shouldered the heavy duffel bag, squared her shoulders, and made her way past the others with a small wave, and yet another forced smile. Nory was still rustling around in Liam’s truck, and she was thankful. She wanted a little time alone, even if it was just a couple of minutes.
That trip here in the silence of Nate’s truck had been torture.
She wanted to look back at him, and see if he was still watching, but what would that do for her? He didn’t want her. Maybe they could salvage a friendship out of their relationship.
Some Arrangements just didn’t work. She hadn’t ever thought it would be hers, but it had failed in record time. Two months. It was embarrassing but it couldn’t be helped.
She really didn’t want to be with a man who didn’t want her back.
She needed to belong somewhere, but it wasn’t with him.