Chapter 6 Destiny
Destiny
Icome to violently, choking and coughing up frigid water.
It burns my lungs and throat and mouth and my whole body seizes as I wretch.
I'm aware of the hard, frozen ground below me first, and then my jumpsuit which feels like it may already be freezing around me.
Then I feel warmth—blessed warmth—as huge, furry arms encircle me.
“I've got you. You're going to be okay." A deep, rumbling voice says and the massive, furry chest I'm leaning against vibrates with it.
A huge Dhugaren man is carrying me, I think distantly. But he's so warm and I'm so cold and sleepy all I can do is snuggle deeper into his chest before slipping back into oblivion. I’m not worried though. He’s got me.
The next time I wake up it’s much warmer.
I feel like I’m wrapped in a giant cocoon and something soft is stroking my brow.
It’s soft and comforting so I lean into it, keeping my eyes closed and enjoying the toasty bliss.
It’s heavenly after the freezing cold water–my eyes pop open as the memory of what just happened floods my mind.
The winter wonderland hidden on a space station, and my plunge into the icy pond.
Leaning over me, stroking my brow until moments ago, is the abominable snowman, or a yeti possibly, with thick, curving horns.
My jaw hits the floor before I realize he’s a solid white Dhugaren.
In the cold recesses of my hazy memories I remember a warm, soft chest and a deep rumbly voice. I’ve got you.
“You saved my life,” I say.
“You fell into an ice-covered pond in an artificial arctic habitat that you entered with zero weather protection gear.”
“I…” The fuck. Who did this guy think he was? I mean… he isn’t wrong, but no need to point it out. “I didn’t fall in on purpose! I slipped.”
“You shouldn’t have even been on that ridge. It’s a dangerous way to climb the mountain. Furga knows this.”
“She was just going to show me the view. You don’t have to be all growly about it.”
He is indeed, practically growling with frustration and anger. It isn’t scary, though. It feels a bit more like a tantrum, honestly, which is baffling. Which one of us almost died here?
“I am trying to thank you, you grumpy old polar bear.” I huff, trying to keep my tone light. He did save my life, after all.
“I do not know what that is, but you can thank me by taking a bit more care. How long have you been on Sanctuary?”
“Today was my first day,” I reply in a small voice, pulling my arms up to wiggle my way out of the suddenly too-warm cocoon of blankets.
“And how many times have you been injured?” He nods at where my wrapped hand is wrestling awkwardly with the blankets tucked tightly around me.
“None of your business. Where am I? I appreciate you helping me but I probably need to go.” Did Furga abandon me?
Am I even in Division 5 still? I am, after all, alone with a strange man…
er… male… I have never met, and I realize as I finally get the covers loosened, in nothing but my bra and panties.
I scream, pulling the covers back up to my chin and turning my glare to the Dhugaren accusingly.
“Why am I naked?”
“Body heat. You were going hypothermic. I had to–”
He has the grace to look chagrined, but his excuse is cut off as another Dhugaren, a pale gray female clutching a steaming cup, enters the room with Furga just behind her.
“Khur! Leave the poor human alone. She needs rest, not a lecture. Go on, go check and make sure the cubs are all sleeping. Brajha has been trying to sneak her data pad into bed again. The cot is already made up for you in the common room.”
He huffs, but immediately rises, piercing me with a heavy, heated gaze before he leaves.
I notice his eyes are such a dark brown they’re almost black, like the bitter dark chocolate I used to love melting on my tongue.
I haven’t had chocolate in years, but for a moment I remember the decadent richness.
Too bad he seems like a controlling asshole.
“Thank you so much for welcoming me into your home,” I say to the soft gray Dhugaren woman. For some reason I get a twinge of disappointment when I realize this must be Khur’s wife, and those must be his children.
“Well, Khur burst through the door with no clothes on and you, turning blue in his arms. I couldn’t say no, could I?” Her voice is higher pitched than Khur’s, but still plenty growl-y. “Besides, he was insistent we put you in his bed, so you’re his guest more than mine.”
I squeak, but I can’t do much more than that with no clothes. This blanket is my only protection. Wait…
“His bed?”
“Yes, he said you would never warm up on a cot. I imagine he’ll sleep on one out in the living room for the rest of the night, though, if I can convince him you don’t need a bedside nursemaid.”
Still in the doorway, Furga chuckles a bit at that, stepping forward.
“He’s been at your side since he pulled you out of the water. He’s acting a bit crazy really, but that might have more to do with the war than you.”
“War?” I remember the brief description in the orientation video, but what does that have to do with me?
“Back on our home planet. Khur was in the thick of it. Having to jump into action to save you probably mucked his memories up a bit.” Furga shrugs, as if PTSD is not a serious mental illness, then goes on, “Destiny I’m so sorry about what happened.
I had no idea how sensitive you’d be to the cold.
I wish you’d told me! We could have found some gear for you! ”
Perhaps he isn’t just a controlling asshole, after all.
“I should be apologizing to you Furga! I know my limits. I’m not a complete idiot. I just thought we could take in the view and then leave.” I can’t help but add, a bit quieter, “I don’t have any credits yet, remember?”
“Yes, well, the mountain will always be there, as we like to say,” the other woman cuts in, “I am Urzu by the way, Khur’s sister.”
I completely ignore the spark of joy that alights in my belly at the word sister.
“My name is Destiny. Nice to meet you, and thank you so much for your kindness, but can I get my jumpsuit back?”
“It’s in the laundry machine now. It will be done in the morning.”
“What about my shoes? They’re the only pair I have.”
“Khur brought them. They’ll be dry in the morning with your jumpsuit.”
I am overwhelmingly grateful, but even still…
“In the morning? I really need to go now. My dad will be worried about me.”
“It’s very late in the night cycle now. I must insist you wait just a few hours ‘til morning. I don’t like the idea of you wandering the dark corridors alone.”
The public halls and corridors are lit by artificial daylight and dimmed at night.
That is one thing the orientation videos taught me, anyways.
And I don’t much want to try to find my way home in the dark, either.
The Orientation Video went on and on about how safe this place is, but I am not an idiot either.
I am worried about my dad, though. Is he freaking out yet? Urzu must see my concern.
“At first light, Khur will walk you home. Until then try and get some rest.”
“Do you have maybe a nightgown or a big T-shirt? I really need to go to the bathroom.”
“Humans really are prudes, huh?” Furga asks me.
I sputter.
“What! No! We just aren’t big on nudity!”
“Don’t mind Furga, dear. Most species are modest with their nudity. Dhugarens are the odd ones in that respect.” Urzu is a calm, steady presence as she pulls a tunic out of a cabinet hidden in the wall. “Here. It’s big, but it’s soft. This should do.”
The tunic falls almost to my knees and the neckline gapes enough to slip down my shoulder, but it covers all the important bits.
Urzu and Furga are polite enough to look elsewhere while I slip it on.
It really is so soft, and it smells like the mountain did: clean, fresh, a little pine-y.
Then I realize that this must be Khur’s tunic, and his smells, since this is his room.
And Urzu is his sister, not his wife. Not that I care if he has a wife, because he is an alien and seems kind of like an asshole.
No matter how good he smells or how beautiful his eyes are, I can’t think about him that way.
As a man. I’m not quite that adventurous… am I?
I sneak down the hall to use their lavatory, avoiding the common area and the Dhugaren male presumably sleeping on a cot out there.
By the time I return to the bedroom I am exhausted again.
I didn’t realize how much almost freezing to death would take out of me.
Snuggling into the warm blankets, I’m asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.
I’m awoken some time later by a terrible sound. Somewhere between a growl and a groan, it sounds like someone is in pain. Before I can think twice, my legs are swinging over the side of the bed and I’m making my way down the hall.
All these apartments seem to be set up the same.
The common room is the main “body” of the apartment, and the living quarters and lavatory and kitchen are all placed down hallways connected to it, like legs.
My feet pad silently on the cold metal floor as I make my way down the dim hallway and into the common area.
I hadn’t gotten a chance to see it before, being unconscious and all.
Now, even with the lights dimmed, I can see Urzu has taken care to decorate the apartment with lovely blue blankets draped over furniture, and a massive silvery-gray rug laid in the middle of the room.
On that rug, next to a sofa-type piece of furniture that does not look very comfortable, lay a cot, and on the cot, thrashes a sleeping Khur.
He is having a nightmare. His head shakes back and forth, his hands squeezing the blankets fiercely in his fist. Another painful groan comes from him and then my babelfish picks up muttered words.
“No… no… go back. Turn around. No!”
I rush over to his side without another thought. I can’t stand to see anyone suffering, and this male did save my life. This is the least I could do. I gently put my hand to his shoulder.
“Khur. It’s just a nightmare. Wake up. It’s ok.”
Dark brown eyes open at the same moment a clawed hand circles my wrist. His eyes are blank, though, and I get the feeling he isn’t quite out of the dream yet.
“It’s Destiny. I’m here. It’s ok.” I keep talking in a low, calm voice and inwardly pray he doesn't shred me with those massive claw-tipped hands. The one around my wrist holds me like I’m no bigger than a twig.
One twitch and he could break my wrist. For some ridiculous reason, though, I don’t think he will.
My survival instincts must be on the fritz because for some reason I kneel down and use my free hand to stroke the soft white hair out of his face.
The main circle of his face, from his brow to his chin and across his cheekbones, is not covered in fur.
Instead he has deep black skin that's silky soft but still unbelievably warm.
As I brush the hair away he leans into my hand and closes his eyes, inhaling deeply.
We stay like this for what could have only been a few seconds, but it feels like such a long time.
An eternity of him nuzzling into my palm.
It feels entirely too good, too right. I pull my hand back suddenly as his head turns and warm breath tickles my palm–and something else warm stirs low in my belly.
Khur’s eyes pop open immediately, looking at me warily.
“You were having a nightmare,” I whisper into the darkness. His eyes are dark pits I could fall into. I lean back to escape their depths.
He nods, still not speaking, then swings his legs around to sit up, but doesn’t move to stand. Instead he pats the spot next to him on the bed and not knowing what else to do, I sit next to him, our legs almost touching.
“Thank you,” he finally says, voice even coarser than normal with sleep clogging his throat, “for waking me up.”
“Do you…wanna talk about it?”
“Why?”
“Talking it out helps sometimes. Makes the nightmares feel less real.”
“These were real.”
“Maybe they were real once, but they aren’t any more.”
I know the exact kind of nightmares he’s talking about. Memories. The ones that haunt you and make you relive them over and over in your dreams. I have my fair share of those.
He makes a noise in his throat and I think he is going to argue with me, but then he just says, “War. I dream about war.”
“Mmm, you came from a stratocratic world, right?” I vaguely remember that Dhugarens had destroyed their home planet with nuclear war. Much like humans did with pollution and oil drilling and greed.
“Yes. We were technologically advanced savages,” he says, staring at the hands he has fisted on his knees.
“Didn’t seem that way to me when I was exploring a winter wonderland and then getting rescued by one of those so-called savages.” I elbow him lightly.
“Hmph. Were you trying to strike me just then? It felt like a tickle. I did not realize humans would be so weak.” He smirks at me, glancing sideways to see my reaction.
“I wasn’t trying to strike you! I was teasing.
Trying to get you to smile. And we’re not weak!
We all have different strengths.” That last bit is a quote straight from the orientation video and I mentally pat myself on the back for that one.
Plus, it looks like Khur is actually struggling not to smile.
“That is true, we do. And now I know that yours is not striking. Or swimming. Or withstanding cold temperatures. Perhaps you can demonstrate some human strengths for me." He's fully smiling now, and I know he’s teasing and the easy ribbing feels fun between us, comfortable in a way I haven’t felt in a long time. Too bad the guy is a different species than me. He doesn’t seem like a growly asshole in the dim light of the common room, sitting on a cot that is straining to hold us both.
“I can’t reveal all my tricks. Perhaps you’ll have to find out for yourself.”
My bare shoulder, peaking out of the loose collar of his tunic, brushes his warm, furry shoulder and I realize I’ve been leaning into him subconsciously.
I’m drawn to his warmth like a moth to a flame and that feels entirely too dangerous and alien.
So I do what I do best and get the heck out of there as soon as things get uncomfortable.
“Anyways, I just wanted to wake you from your nightmare. You were making noise in your sleep. Have a good night.”
He doesn’t respond and he doesn’t have any more nightmares for the rest of the night. I know because I lay there in the darkness of his bedroom, sleep just out of reach, until morning.