6
6
Present day
It’s Maya who snaps me out of my thoughts first, bringing me back to the sunny beach. “So, who’s the secret admirer?”
“No secret,” I say with a sigh, opening up the note card to give them all a look at the message inside. “They’re from John.”
A unanimous groan fills the air as Maya, Val, and Jessie tip their heads back at once. I guess I can’t blame them. They’re more protective of me than I am of myself when it comes to John. They were the ones who picked up the pieces after that night on the balcony, when I realized once and forever that he had a cold, calculating streak about him that would never consider me. Or my feelings. Still, this is a message I can’t ignore—maybe he regrets that night as much as I do.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Val says, exasperated, snatching the note card and reading it out loud. “‘Princess. Congratulations, honey baby. You stole the spotlight. Couldn’t take my eyes off you. John.’ It’s not exactly Shakespeare, is it? Fuck, how long did it take him to come up with that?”
“It’s kind of sweet,” Maya tries, picking up one of the roses and twirling it around.
“Wasn’t he with Emma last night, though?” Jessie asks. “When did he even buy these? And how did he know where to send them?”
“Maybe while Riley was sleeping next to him,” Val sarcastically tells her. When she sees the look on my face, she grimaces. “I’m sorry, Princess. That was uncalled for. I’m just so pissed at him.”
“It is what it is. It’s none of my business anymore anyway,” I tell her, though this back-and-forth is starting to feel like a carnival ride. It’s been a month of misery wondering if I made a rash decision at the party—if we both damaged what we had beyond repair—and not a day’s gone by where I haven’t convinced myself I made a mistake. He has such a grip on me, and I’d like to think he’s been just as miserable as I’ve been. I try not to let the flowers drag me back into his orbit, though that’s easier said than done. Because, at the end of the day, I still can’t trust him.
“Princess, I really don’t want to break your heart some more, babe,” Maya says, sitting down in the sand beside me and squeezing my arm, “but she has a point, harsh or not. We didn’t want to tell you because we knew it’d hurt, but since he’s trying to work his way back into your life, I guess you’d better know about—”
“Know about what?” I don’t like where this is going, nor the way Maya and Val exchange glances as if they’re about to drop a bomb onto my world.
“Riley was in the studio with John the other day, and they went to lunch after,” Val says carefully, watching closely for my reaction.
I keep a straight face, trying not to let it show that this affects me. “How do you know?” I hesitate to ask, but I need details.
“Her IG. She posted the two of them in the studio and then tagged him in a pic of her lunch at Great White.”
I can taste the bile rising in my throat. Working together is one thing, and that already fucking sucked, but going to lunch together is a whole other thing.
“You’d think if he was so set on winning you back he’d be a little more cautious about getting caught doing the one thing that made him lose you, right?” Maya shakes her head.
“Riley knew exactly what she was doing, posting him like that. She’s so damn petty.” Jessie sighs. “You can do so much better, Princess,” she adds, offering a smile, as if she knows I’m spiraling inside.
I don’t want to do better. As much as I hate to admit it, I still want John. Part of me feels guilty for making him choose between his work and me—and for having the girls go so hard on him. I know that’s not fair, but neither is this fucked-up situation. If we were really a team the way he’d always claimed we were, then my being disrespected by Riley should be equally a problem to John and intolerable in his eyes. Her unpredictable backstabbing and how low she’s willing to go should be a warning to John too. Imagine what would happen if she turned on him? I’ve seen it happen to other people, and John could be next if he doesn’t do everything she asks him to do. People are disposable to her—why would he be any different?
“They’re only flowers at the end of the day. I’ll text him to say thank—”
“No!” Val and Maya blurt at once.
“Don’t give him what he wants,” Val continues, shaking her head firmly. “He hasn’t even apologized, let alone changed.”
“Seriously, he needs to do a lot more than send flowers.” Maya pulls a face in disgust. “You don’t need that energy in your life. You’re on some new shit now—I mean, look at you, Princess! You just had a huge release party, your music is streaming like crazy. Babe, you need to focus on yourself and not let him distract you.”
“Agreed,” Jessie says. She knows how conflicted I am about all this. We’ve spent hours on FaceTime going through everything together. “Focus on you and let the John drama go. If he proves himself worthy of you, that’s a different story, but for now, they’re just flowers.”
With a sigh, I close the lid on the box of roses and lie back on the beach towel. “You’re right. I need to worry about myself.” But even as I say it, the words feel empty. Honestly, I don’t know if I’ll ever want anyone else. I just wish he’d stop acting so clueless and make things right between us.
Whatever. For now, I’ve got the sun, sand, and my girls. I’m good. Right?
After another hour on the beach we head back to the house, planning to make use of the home movie theater with some of our old favorite movies and all the softest Barefoot Dreams blankets we can find.
But when we step inside the walled driveway, that plan fizzles out instantly.
“You have got to be kidding me. We have a girls’ day planned.” Maya growls under her breath, gripping my arm and striding forward with me as if we’re about to bypass him altogether.
“I repeat, how’d he even get this address?” Jessie whispers.
John leans against the wall beside the fancy front doors, but when he hears Maya’s voice he looks up from his phone and right at me. Those ocean-blue eyes glitter in the midday sun as he stands tall to greet us. He’s dressed casually, in sweatpants, an oversized designer sweatshirt with a subtle logo, and stark white sneakers, my favorite look of his. He looks gorgeous but tired. Maybe he has missed me after all?
“Kimi gave me the codes to get in, I hope you don’t mind. She said to blame her if anyone was pissed,” John jokes.
“You should leave,” Val warns him, pushing her shades onto her forehead. “Read the room.”
“This better be good, John,” Maya says.
“Guys, let me just hear him out.” I pull free from Maya’s grip and linger as the girls step into the house.
John clears his throat and scratches the back of his neck. “Can, uh . . . can we talk?”
I glance at the girls urging me in through the doors and then back at him. I’m still carrying the box of roses, and it’s such a shock to see him here. I would be lying to myself if I said I wasn’t dying to hear what he has to say. Am I about to get some big romantic apology like in the movies? Isn’t it actually pretty sweet he went out of his way to find me here? Or am I just being impressed by the bare minimum again?
“Give me five minutes,” I say, offering an apologetic smile as Maya rolls her eyes theatrically and Val groans her disapproval. “I’m sorry, I’ll be in ASAP. And if you’re voting on which movie to watch first, I say The Proposal.”
“We’re just worried you’re making a mistake,” Maya singsongs quietly to me, shooting John a look that makes him shift uncomfortably beside me.
“It’s my mistake to make. I’ll be back in five,” I repeat, gesturing for John to join me on the small deck at the side of the house overlooking the smooth sand and picturesque waves of the Pacific.
“Thanks for hearing me out, Princess.”
As we walk away, I keep my eyes focused on the never-ending ocean ahead and don’t acknowledge him until we’re seated on a set of huge beanbag chairs. All I want to do is melt into his arms and forget this whole thing happened. But I’ve got to get a grip, keep it together, and have some self-respect. John knows he’s lucky I’m giving him a chance to talk right now. I just hope what he has to say is worth it.
“Why are you here, John?” I ask, staring out at the water.
“Seeing you at the release party last night, I was so proud of you. You’re really blowing up and I hate that we aren’t on good terms.”
“So you came here because my career is doing well?”
He shakes his head. “No. That’s not why I came.” He drops his shoulders in disappointment. “Listen, I took some time to think about what happened and I understand now where you were coming from.”
“Are you gonna stop working with Riley?” I ask, before I allow myself to even consider forgiving him.
“I get it, it wasn’t just about the song. You felt betrayed, and I know it didn’t feel good to have to share the spotlight with Riley and then to hear from her that we’re working together. It wasn’t cool and I should have had your back. Honestly, I drank too much, and I was only thinking about how I felt and how big a song with her would be. I didn’t mean to break your trust or embarrass you.”
I close my eyes for a moment, taking in what he said. His apology feels deeply genuine. Neither of us is perfect. The vulnerability in his eyes and his voice makes me weak, but I need to be strong or we’ll continue this cycle.
“And,” he continues, “I know I should have said all this sooner, but I wanted to give you time, and I wanted to make sure I didn’t make things worse.”
“You didn’t answer my question. Are you still going to work with her?” I open my eyes to see he’s focused on me.
He shifts nervously. “We already finished the song.”
“Of course you did.”
“I want you to trust me, Princess. It’s just work, and she’s well aware that talking about you is off-limits.”
“Trust is earned, John. That means not going behind my back to work with the one person in the whole of fucking Hollywood I have an issue with. And you’ve been hanging out with her outside of the studio. Please don’t even try to deny it, the girls have seen the posts.”
“I’m not trying to make excuses here, but you know how the industry is—we’re working together, I was just keeping everything cool.”
I hate that he has a point. I’ve done my fair share of long uncomfortable dinners and gone to parties I didn’t want to be at with people I didn’t want to be around, all for the sake of making connections. It’s part of the business.
“You should be careful with her, John. I’ve seen what she’s capable of and it’s not fucking pretty.”
“Princess.” He evens his tone. “I didn’t come here today to go back through all this. I actually have something to ask you.”
I shake my head. He continues to avoid accountability.
“I want us to work together again,” he says.
My eyes flick to meet his, and he tries a smile. “Not just me—my publisher wants this too. I would produce your next project. I have some great co-writers on board already. It’s a solid team, P. You should at least consider it, regardless of what’s going on with us.”
He’s right; it could be amazing. It would just be so much sweeter if this whole thing wasn’t lingering over us.
“Are you asking me to work with you because you want to work with me or because your publisher thinks you should? Is this about us or about your work?”
“It’s about us being good together—in the studio,” John says quickly, the look in his eyes telling me more than his words. “The song with Riley is finished and doesn’t mean shit compared to this, compared to us. Let’s create something special together and forget all the other bullshit.”
There’s so much passion in his voice, and I can tell he really wants this. I just don’t know if it’s because he cares about me or because it’s good for his career. I study him while I think about it. He watches me, too, his familiar sweet smile tugging at my heartstrings.
“This is all about you. No one and nothing else. We can make the biggest song of the year. I can get you a huge feature. You could have a massive record, go on tour, so many opportunities could come from this. The possibilities are endless. We both know you level everything up. This could be huge, for both of us.”
The sound of the ocean masks my silence. I’m not quite ready to respond. John doesn’t push me, and I appreciate it.
“Okay. For the sake of music, let’s do it.” His face lights up, so I hold up a finger. “But I’m in this for the music only right now, nothing else. This isn’t me agreeing to forgive you on a personal level. Let’s just take it day by day and see what happens, okay?”
“I get it, I hear you, and honestly, P., I’ve been thinking a lot about our breakup, and you were right,” he says.
My chest sinks. I had stupidly assumed that he came here to try to win me back, using our chemistry in the studio as a cover, but in reality, this is just about work.
“You won’t regret this, Princess. We’re going to make your biggest music yet.”
If he’s over us, so am I. And if I trust anyone to make a hit with me, it’s John. Now that I’m having such a big moment, I know everyone will be asking me what’s next. Always hungry for more.
That’s how it always is in this town; no matter how high you are, what’s next is all that matters, and for me, the next thing has to be a hit produced by John with a big feature attached.
“You better hope so.” I join his smile with mine. It worries me a little how easily I succumb to him, but I know how talented a producer he is, and at the end of the day, the song will speak for itself.
“Have your people hit up Kimi or Wayne so they can discuss the details.” I stand up. “I need to get back to the girls. You’re kind of intruding on our time together, and you’re lucky none of them threw you over the balcony,” I tease him. My shoulders are lighter; the weight on my mind has lifted so much since he arrived.
“I’ll leave you to it. I don’t want them to jump me,” he jokes. He heads back to the driveway. I follow, listening to him express how excited he is for us to work together. Excitement bubbles inside me too; there’s no one I make better music with than John.
“Don’t get too hyped yet, we still need to make the song,” I tell him as we reach the end of the driveway.
“I know. I know.” He comes to a stop and turns to look at me. His voice goes quiet and his eyes get even more intense as he says, “I won’t get ahead of myself, but I know how talented you are, and I’m more than confident that the next song we make will be massive. Just wait and see, deal?”
“Deal.” I can’t help but agree with him.
He turns to the gates and lifts his hand in a small wave. “I’ll talk to you later, P.”
“Bye, John.”
“Uh, Princess?”
At the confusion in John’s voice, I stop walking back to the house and turn around to face him. But John isn’t looking at me. Gesturing with his finger at the gate, he urges me to follow his gaze.
I do, and my heart stops.
Standing close to the iron gates with his face pushed nearly all the way between the bars, muttering something to himself that I can’t hear from this distance, is a man with wild, beady eyes and disheveled hair. And he’s staring right at me.
“What the fuck?” I say at the same time as John asks, “Who the hell is this creep?”
I don’t know, but something’s off. And from the way this guy’s fixated on me, still muttering, head still through the bars, looking like he’s about to shove his whole body through and come running right at me, I know this isn’t safe.
“Princessssss . . .” the man’s voice slithers across the space between us.
My blood runs cold.
“You know me, PrincessesKing38. Come on and open up the gate, beautiful.”
“Do you know him?” John asks me. I shake my head, something going off in the back of my head, like the tiniest of a memory. It does sound a bit familiar . . .
“Princess, open the gate. I need to talk to you!” The man’s voice becomes more aggressive as he grows impatient. His arms poke through the space between the bars, reaching in my direction. I’m frozen in fear, hoping the gate does its job.
“Wait.” My blood runs cold. “I think I know him. Not in real life, not him, but the username. Oh my god.” I pull out my phone and open my Insta. There it is. His name on my activity feed over and over. I’ve thought about blocking that account, but the last time I did, it gave him the attention he wanted and he came back with a new account immediately, messaging even more often and aggressively.
“Get inside,” John directs me, closing in on me and shielding my body from the stranger. “Quickly, let’s go.” He shuffles forward, guiding me toward the house. My feet and legs feel like molasses, my mind reacting faster than my body.
“I need to call Kimi and Wayne. I should’ve hired security here. The neighborhood’s supposed to be safe!” I say as I enter the house, peeking behind John at the strange man who’s still calling out my name.
“What’s going on?” Val’s walking past the front door when we rush into the house, and she stares wide-eyed at John as he slams the door shut and flips all the locks into place. “What are you doing?”
“Shut and lock every window and door in this house now,” John demands, already heading into the living room to check the floor-to-ceiling windows.
“Can someone tell us what’s going on?” Val shrieks. “Should we call the cops?”
“The cops?” Maya bounces into the room with Jessie, but when she sees the looks on our faces her smile drops. “What happened?”
“Lock the doors and no one go outside.” John pushes through the little group we’ve formed in the hallway, dialing a number on his cell phone as he strides into the kitchen. “This isn’t a joke. And don’t go near the windows!”
I peek through the window beside the front door, relieved to see the guy’s still safely behind the gates—but he’s still staring right at me and his mouth is moving insanely fast.
“Who the hell is that?” Jessie whispers as we back up to the stairs. There’s real fear in her eyes. I grab for her hand and squeeze it.
As John runs around checking all the windows and doors, trying his best to keep us safe, a spark of hope appears beneath the surface, and it rekindles a flame inside me that I’d thought had died. The last thing I should be thinking about is my relationship with him, and I know that, but I can’t seem to help it.
John stays with us until the panic of the intruder dies down. The stalker disappears as soon as he hears the cops’ sirens, no harm done—thankfully. It gives me the shivers to know someone like that has me on their radar, and we have no clue who he is, how he found me, or what he wants.
Kimi and Wayne put full-time security in place to watch over me in case he comes back, and all four of us give witness statements before heading to bed for the night, too exhausted after the commotion to even think about our planned movie night.
Later, I’m lying in bed with the girls fast asleep beside me when a text pops up at exactly 11:11 p.m. As I read it, that flame of hope burns even brighter.
John: I just wanted to say good night and sweet dreams, Princess. I hope you’re okay after what happened. I can’t wait to see you in the studio