27. Ezra
Ezra
The room was dark, and orange smoke swirled around my head when I entered.
Candles lit every small, low table in the stone-domed room and in the hanging chandeliers.
The smoke drifted up my nostrils, and I tried my hardest not to inhale too much.
It would create fog in my mind, and I couldn’t afford that, not with Eshe around, especially since I chose this life for myself.
Casimir couldn’t help himself. All he could think about was partying. I shook my head and scoffed. The sun had already set, and though I had been feeling particularly refreshed, my body was frustrated.
But I suppressed it.
Casimir had Yven on his lap, and they were laughing over something probably not worth laughing over.
At least he was enjoying himself.
Norrah was eating some of the meat and cheese spread out on the back table, enjoying herself. It was easy to tell she had grown up in a wealthy family by the way she carried herself.
My eyes flitted over to Eshe, who was talking to one of the servants near the smoking bar. The only thought running through my mind was my throbbing fist meeting his nose so hard he no longer breathed right and then died in his sleep because of it.
What the fuck was wrong with me? I shook my head again.
She was wearing a green linen dress, revealing too much of what was between her chest with too many rippable buttons from the center to the floor.
Her vulnerable naked body was fresh and now permanently ingrained in my memory as I attempted to push it to the furthest part of my mind.
I fought the largest war I’d ever had in my head when her legs were wrapped around me.
Her skin was so soft, her body just so fucking perfect, naked in my hands and in my arms. I fucking hated it.
If I were a gentleman, I would have taken her to the stairs, but I was not.
Instead, I wanted her entire body around me. I wanted to claim her until she shattered, trembling beneath me. I suppressed it and stupidly allowed myself to be so close to her. Just close enough, but not enough to break my discipline.
I shook the thoughts from my head again, and I walked over to my brother. I should stay far away from Eshe tonight.
“Casimir,” I nodded in greeting.
Casimir lifted his eyes, which were big, sparkling saucers, and he had the largest smile on his face. “My brother! Welcome.” He lifted the long, thick pipe my way.
I gave him a death stare.
He always did this, thinking I’d change back to my old ways. Not a chance.
I had the self-control of a rock during a thunderstorm. Nothing could make a dent in my walls.
Yven was sitting on his lap with a flush on her cheeks. Casimir’s hand was around her hips, lazily brushing against them. A flash of memory went back to my hands on Eshe’s bare hips, sliding over them, feeling her entire ass in my hands, slowly pressing into her skin.
Suppress, suppress.
“No fun.” Casimir winked at me.
“No regrets.” I gave him a flat smile.
“Life’s not all about control, Ezra. Sometimes it’s nice to just live life and relax a little, don’t you agree?”
“No. I’ll relax with God when I die. You? I’m not so sure.”
Casimir dropped his head back and gave a full belly laugh. I wanted right then to have Eshe hear this. At least someone understood my sense of humor. “Harsh. I like to think God puts the finer things in my life so I can enjoy them, no?”
I smiled and shook my head. Backward thinking.
“I think we believe in two very different gods, Casimir.”
“Thank God!”
We laughed in unison, though we weren’t being entirely serious. Most of our religious talks ended like this.
“Remember when we smoked some of that Silver Snake, and we couldn’t shake it off for two days?”
I pinched the bridge of my nose, wanting to forget all those memories.
“You smoked a Silver Snake?” Norrah gasped, stepping into the conversation. It was nice to see her finally open herself up. When I first met her, she was shaking from head to toe and could barely form a proper sentence.
“Not literally, but the poison—yes. After we burned the venom out,” Casimir rumbled another laugh, and I with him.
We were idiots.
“What happened?” Yven asked.
“We couldn’t stay out of our harems for two days,” Casimir deadpanned. “That’s what happened.”
Norrah turned red with wide eyes.
Suddenly, I felt a little too warm. I tried not to think of cringeworthy moments, but Casimir liked to remind me often of how I used to be.
He missed that part of me. I knew he did.
“We brought a Silver Snake with us.”
All three of them snapped their heads to Eshe, who was leaning on one of the tables near us. But I stared ahead and rolled my eyes.
After a few moments, I threw her a death stare to shut the fuck up, but she only curved her lips even further.
“No way…” Casimir drawled, his eyebrows high. “Who killed it?”
“Me,” Eshe and I answered simultaneously. We glared at each other.
“One of you is lying…” he sang. “Who could it be?”
“It was my kill. Ezra stole it. It’s just like him to steal the choice of everything.” Eshe looked over to Casimir.
I narrowed my eyes at her. What was she getting at?
“Ah, typical.” Casimir pursed his lips in defeat. “Anywho, let’s smoke this venom and have the night of our lives, shall we?” A twinkle flashed in Casimir’s eyes, and he winked at Yven.
“No, that’s not happening,” I blurted.
“I’ll go get it!” Eshe beamed.
Norrah bit her lower lip, looking more curious and brave by the minute. “Oh my God, I’m scared,” she squealed.
I whipped my head toward Eshe. I could tell she was up to something. I was this close to wrapping my hands around her neck and throttling her. She had no idea what she was messing with.
Eshe turned on her heel and walked through the dim room, but I caught up quickly. I grabbed her elbow and twisted her body to face me.
“I’m not talking to you tonight,” she hissed. “And I’m still thinking about whether I’ll talk to you for the rest of my life.”
She yanked at her elbow, but I only tightened my grip. “And why is that?”
“You lied to me.”
“You’re going to have to be more specific.”
She pursed her lips, pink splashed high on her cheekbones.
“You could have brought me to the stairs. Yven told me there were stairs,” her voice wavered. “You liked seeing me weak. You liked seeing me—be like that!”
She was hurt. Something I wasn’t used to seeing on her face. Usually, she was more composed.
“You’re not even going to deny it?” She pressed.
“I’m not going to lie to you, Eshe.”
“Then don’t.” She twisted against my hold, but I just pulled her closer. I couldn’t hear the voice in the back of my head that frequently told me to keep her at arm's length.
That fucker was gone.
“Let me go! I’m over your games!” Eshe whisper-yelled at me, ensuring no one else heard our argument.
“There is no game,” I hissed back.
But God, aren’t I playing a fine line here?
Her eyes cut into me again—
“You are when you wanted to see me cry, you wanted to see me hurt and in pain. You liked it—reveled in it. You’re a heartless, cruel man, Ezra.”
My chest tightened. I didn’t know why her words bothered me so much.
“I did not want to see you hurt.”
Her eyes glistened. It felt as if my stomach had just received a blow. I swallowed a lie and decided to tell her the truth.
“I liked that you needed me.”
Eshe stopped pulling her arm and met my eyes.
They slit through my soul, and I attempted to close off any emotion she might see.
“Why?” she breathed.
“Hey! What’s taking so long?” Casimir shouted from the back of the room.
I looked behind to Casimir, but Eshe took that moment to slip from my grip and hurried out of the room.
I didn’t chase after her. If she wanted to go completely out of her mind and get incredibly high on endorphins, then that was on her.
Burning the venom out of the saliva of the snake created the Lover’s Bite, but without the bite. It was ridiculous and childish.
I walked out into another barely lit room where I planned to sleep on the couch, far away from these childlike games, but most importantly, far away from where Eshe would be sleeping tonight.
I needed to give my nerves a break.