29. Ezra
Ezra
Eshe’s fingers reached my lips, and I allowed her touch. It was warm and sweet. So soft that I reveled in it.
The confession I spoke burned deep in my soul—I had to let the fire out. I couldn’t contain it anymore.
I swallowed dryly. I could sense the regret in her eyes as she played her little game.
“I won’t tell anyone,” she promised through the darkness.
Her silver-gray eyes pierced into me. I had never felt so vulnerable before. I wasn’t hiding anymore. But this needed to stop. Even if she knew the truth, that didn’t change anything.
She was the strongest weapon. One that could kill me if I wasn’t too careful. One that, if I wasn’t careful, would suffocate me just from how close she was to me. She could ruin me. Destroy me. And I, a stupid fool, would allow her to.
I had to leave.
The more she looked at me with those glossy, soft eyes, the more her body trembled with my every touch, the more I was slipping down a sandhill I’d never be able to return from.
It felt like a sliver of heaven to be able to touch her, kiss her body, and worship her, but it was against everything I stood for.
I wanted her safe, with me—away from her brother. Now, I was wondering if this was the best idea. Maybe I should have had Casimir take her instead.
The thought of Casimir with Eshe sent my blood pulsing. No, that wasn’t an option, either. There was only one option: I had to control myself.
I released a long, shaky breath and gave myself one more moment to study her moon-like eyes.
With my hands gripping sand, I let it go and rose to my feet. I couldn’t look at her anymore—I couldn’t trust myself.
I waited until I heard her rise and started to walk back.
A hand wrapped around mine and turned me around. Her hand felt so small in the palm of mine.
“For how long have I been your weakness?” she asked. Eshe’s eyes were open and clear.
“Too long,” I said with a clipped tone and dropped her hand as if it were venomous.
We managed to find our way back through the darkness, through the hallways, and back to our rooms.
That night, I fell into the most fitful sleep I’d had all year.
Every dream I had turned into a nightmare. Her brother finding her and murdering her in a hundred different ways. The murderer lurking in the shadows, capturing her, and taking her from me.
I checked in on Eshe, who was asleep with Norrah, only five times before I decided to sleep in the hallway across from their door. If anyone was going to kill her, they’d have to go through me. The dreams felt so real.
I had to tell her. Tomorrow.
Exhaustion finally swallowed me, and I slept.
When I woke, I found that the sun had risen and the door to their bedroom was wide open.
I flung off the blanket that I had covering my body and jumped to my feet.
Immediately, the thought came to me: she had left me.
I looked around the room and felt an empty presence, a phantom whisper.
With little sleep, exhaustion slowly crept into my mind as I grudgingly walked through the halls.
There was no way she had left. She didn’t have any means to.
She wouldn’t leave Norrah here, and Norrah would never leave knowing Gabriel was out looking for her.
I was overthinking it. I wasn’t at my best when I’d hardly slept.
Echoing off the walls, I heard laughter from outside.
Holding my breath, I peered through one of the red and yellow stained-glass windows.
My eyes caught Eshe before anyone else. She wore a thin linen covering—her thick, wavy hair shrouded her shoulders. She was laughing at something Casimir said, and immediately I thought of ways I could bury him in the sands.
Figuratively. Of course.
But that still didn’t make me stop the unpleasant images from crossing my mind.
God, what was this woman doing to me?
With a growl, I walked down the stairs into the bright sunshine that beat upon my bare chest. I had short linen trousers and was ready for some cool waters to make this frustration go away.
Eshe was now talking to Norrah with her hand on Norrah’s forearm, seemingly in an intense conversation. They erupted in laughter, their shoulders shaking from it. I shook my head, women.
I glanced over to the right where the runes waved in the far distance. The night terrors radiated in the back of my mind, sending shivers down my spine. I narrowed my eyes, wondering if I could see anything in the distance.
Kavid won’t find Eshe. Gabriel won’t find Norrah.
They’ll both be safe.