Chapter 21 Penny
Penny
“Sorry. I need to review this situation one more time,” Keira says. “Because I’m still in shock that you’re doing this willingly.”
We’re walking up the subway steps again in Brooklyn on our way to Matt’s gym, but unlike the last time we did this, when I was grumbling and giving Keira a hard time, now I’m practically skipping my way toward Bossfit in happy anticipation.
“Matt texted me earlier this morning. He said he had a special workout he wanted me to try. And since Tuesdays are my morning off, I figured, why not?”
A pang of guilt moves through me when I’m reminded that I still haven’t planned that overnight visit with my sister like I said I would.
“Did he mean sex?” Keira coos. “Because sex could definitely be the ‘special workout’ he wants you to try.”
“You do air quotes too much,” I say. “And no, you perv. He literally wants to exercise with me.”
“But you hate exercise,” she says.
“That’s not entirely true.”
How do I explain this to her?
“I hate feeling like I have to exercise in a certain way,” I continue. “I certainly want to move my body, but I hate the notion that suffering is somehow noble, or that pain is the only path to being healthy. I mean, do you hear how ridiculous that sounds?”
“Sure, I see your point…”
“Anyway, I expressed a little bit of that to Matt, and I guess now he’s feeling inspired to show me a new approach.”
“And then you’re going to have sex?”
I stop walking and give her a look.
“Sorry.” At least she has the decency to look sheepish. “I’ll cool it with the sex stuff.”
We start walking again and round the corner onto 8th Street.
“Seems like a deep convo for a quick text,” Keira says, a questioning tone in her voice.
I don’t tell her that it wasn’t just a quick text, that after our phone conversation last night, Matt and I stayed up for hours, sending each other funny memes and videos.
Eventually, he called me back, and we picked up the conversation where we left off.
But where we mostly spoke about him and his family during the first call, we focused almost exclusively on me and mine this time.
I told him how much I miss feeling close to my sister and her kids.
I told him about my mom’s incessant calls, guilting me about not attending her Christmas party this weekend.
We even discussed my mom’s lifelong obsession with my weight, how that led to me gradually withholding more food from myself during my final season as a Kickette until I realized what I was doing and got help.
I told him how that close call with my health terrified me enough to quit dancing permanently.
I admitted I miss dancing more than I can say, and that I want to find a way to do it again, but in a healthy way this time.
We talked and talked until I eventually fell asleep. I don’t even remember saying goodbye.
Matt asked me so many thoughtful questions last night that I found myself confiding things in him that I’ve never said out loud to anyone. Not even my sister.
Instead of making me sad like I always imagined it would, I woke up today feeling strong. Like a weight had been lifted off my chest.
And then I received a single text from him.
Matt: I’ve put together a workout just for you. Any chance you trust me enough to come try it out with me?
Of course, I trust him. I don’t know how it happened, but somewhere along the line, he became one of the most trusted people in my life.
When we reach Bossfit Brooklyn, I walk right inside like their members do, Keira following closely behind me.
“Hey!” Matt shouts from across the gym and jogs over to meet me. “You made it! And you brought Keira.”
He sounds surprised.
“Well, yeah,” I say. “We can’t really film content without Keira.”
“Oh.” He tilts his head to the side. “I guess I thought—”
“You thought what?” I say, confused.
“Should I… go?” Keira points a thumb toward the door.
“No, no, no. I’m sorry, Keira.” He reaches his arms out to her for a hug. “Get in here, girl. You know I’m always psyched to see you.”
They hug for a few seconds, and I can’t help but wish I were the one in his arms right now.
When he releases her, he turns to me and says, “I guess I didn’t think we’d be filming today. When I said I created a workout for you, I meant it was a workout for you.”
He gestures to the large whiteboard where the workout of the day is always written. In big black letters it says:
Today’s Workout
PENNY
“You named the workout after me?” I say softly.
“Sure did.”
“Aww,” Keira says.
“Listen,” Matt continues. “It’s totally up to you whether you want to film some segments. I mean, I’m certainly not opposed to all the spicy commenters on Herald’s social media feeds. My ego enjoys their creative hashtags. But, yeah,” he lowers his voice. “I thought this one would be just for you.”
Eugene comes out from the back room at that moment, looking dressed for his own workout.
Keira’s posture immediately stiffens. “You know what? That sounds great. I really should be back at Herald’s anyway. Unlike Penny, I do not have the morning off. You guys have fun, okay?”
“Keira, no, you’re welcome to stay!” Matt shouts after her, but she’s gone.
“Was it something I said?” Eugene looks to me. “That woman really knows how to make a quick exit, doesn’t she?”
I sigh. “Lately, yeah. She does.”
Each day, I feel more and more strongly that Keira should tell Eugene about this unfortunate tie that binds them. I know the affair between Tagg and Elinor is in the past, but still. Shouldn’t Eugene know all the important information about his fiancée before he marries her?
“Hey, Eugene!” I say, keeping my voice light. “Matt mentioned you’re getting married.”
He nods as he grabs a protein shake. “I am, yeah.”
“Cool. When’s all that happening?”
“New Year’s Eve.”
Damnit.
“Wow! That’s– That’s um. That’s really soon!”
“Right?” he chuckles. “Tell that to your friend Matt here. He’s still dragging his feet on bringing a date. Seriously, dude, if you don’t give us your plus-one’s name by this weekend, Elinor says you can no longer have one.”
“Ah, Elinor,” Matt sighs. “Such a sweetheart.”
“Anyway, I’m off for a run,” Eugene says, ignoring Matt’s sarcasm. “Penny? Always a pleasure.”
“Likewise,” I say.
I wish so badly that I could tell him the truth. But Keira swore me to secrecy. And it’s not my place. Right?
“Shall we?” Matt gestures to the main workout space once we’re alone.
I smile and join him in the center of the room. I arrived in my workout clothes, so I’m ready to go.
Matt hands me a long, thin PVC pipe and keeps one for himself. He demonstrates how to warm up my shoulders, and I copy his movements as we talk.
“Is Keira okay?” he asks. “I’ve been meaning to ask you that.”
“That’s um. That’s not the easiest question to answer. Has she been better? Yes. Has she been worse? Yes. Will things continue to improve for her? I have full faith.”
“Why do you sound like a troll at a drawbridge saying riddles?” Matt laughs. “Your voice even sounds funny.”
Because this topic makes me nervous as hell, that’s why.
“Ha! I don’t know.”
Be honest with him.
At least as honest as you can be.
“Keira and her husband are in a bit of a rough patch,” I say. “But they’re doing their best to work through it.”
Matt keeps his pipe overhead and drops into a squat, then stands back up, nodding for me to do the same. I do.
“Yeah, I kinda picked up on that,” he says.
“At the World’s Fittest Santa audition, she yelled at all the guys in the hallway.
Something about us keeping our peckers in our pants?
But, ya know, that first day she came in here, she was super emotional as well.
And kinda cryptic too. Let’s do a series of five. ”
We drop into our squats and stay in perfect sync with each other. I’m still so new to this Bossfit stuff, it amazes me that he can carry on full, unbroken conversations while we’re doing this.
“Cryptic?” I huff.
“Yeah,” he says, breath perfectly smooth. “Cryptic. She asked to see Gene specifically, but then backtracked on it and never explained why. And now it seems like she doesn’t want to even be in the same room as him.”
We finish the round of warm-up squats. He takes the PVC pipe from me and stacks it in the big tin can with all the others.
“Any idea why?” He looks directly into my eyes.
“Any idea why Keira would be weird around Eugene?” I ask, trying to buy myself time to think.
“Yeah. He said he’d never met her before in his life. Though if you ask me, I’m sensing energy between them.” He starts doing a hamstring stretch.
“What kind of energy?” I mirror the stretch Matt is doing.
“I dunno. Like he thinks she’s cute, maybe? But Gene’s the most upstanding guy around, so he’d never admit that. And he’d certainly never act on it. Unfortunately, he’s one hundred percent committed to Elinor.”
“So tell me about this Penny workout,” I say.
“You’re right. That’s what we’re here for. Eugene’s a big boy. I’m sure he can handle himself. Same goes for Keira, right?”
“Right.” I nod, hoping like hell we change the subject off Keira and Eugene once and for all.
“Alright.” Matt rubs his hands together. “You feeling limber?”
“-ish,” I joke.
“We can work with ‘-ish.’” He grabs an erasable marker from the whiteboard ledge and pulls off the cap. “For today’s ‘Penny’ workout, we will need…” He scribbles out the words while he speaks. “Two rowers… six dollars… and one ’90s music playlist.”
I laugh. “What kind of workout is this?”
“The fun kind,” he says. “The tailor-made-for-Penny kind. Working out should be fun, right?”
“I certainly think so,” I say, my tone implying that other people don’t.
“And I agree with you,” he says. “A lot of people hold themselves back from making positive steps in the right direction because they think it should look a certain way. I’m here to tell you that’s bullshit. This is our life. We can make up our own rules. And our own workouts.”
I try not to look into the fact that he’s saying “we” and “our” a lot more these days.
“Case in point. You told me you used to love rowing, right?”
“Right.” I smile.
When I was in high school, I joined the rowing team, much to my mother’s horror. “Such a masculine sport,” she always said. I loved it, but I eventually quit just to make the snide comments stop.
“Well, rowing is one of the best full-body exercises a person can do. So that’s Part One of our Penny workout.
I can’t get you out on the East River on an actual boat at the moment—give me a few days and I’m sure I can figure it out—but I do happen to have two of Kingpin Fitness’ finest stationary rowers right here at Bossfit we can use. ”
“You’re going to row with me?”
“Of course I’m going to row with you. ‘Penny’ ain’t no spectator sport!”
“Alright.” I laugh. “Chill, dude.”
He continues, “You also said last night, and I quote, ‘I’m a New Yorker. I get most of my exercise from walking.”
I nod. “It’s true. And when I’m on the floor at Herald’s, I usually double the number of steps I normally get.”
“Love it. So… I don’t think you’d balk at the idea of ramping up your usual walking pace to a light jog and running with me to Mother of Junk for a quick peek in the dollar bins?”
“No, I would not. That sounds delightful.”
“Cool. That is what the six dollars are for. And for Part Three…”
“Don’t tell me we’re having a 90s jams dance party,” I joke.
“We are indeed,” Matt says proudly. “Let’s review!
” He recaps his marker and uses it as a pointer on the board.
“Part One: a five-minute row. Part Two: a two-block jog to Mother of Junk, where we will buy the first two items in the dollar bin that catch our eye, followed by a jog back to Bossfit for… Part Three: a 90s music dance party for ninety glorious seconds.”
“This sounds delightful.” I beam at him.
“Glad you think so, because we’re doing three rounds of that for time.”
“Three rounds?!” I squeak.
“Three rounds, Pennywise. You got this. Why don’t you take a few sips of water while I get the rowers set up, then we’ll be good to go.”
“Sounds good.”
“Oh, and I have the cash money ready.” He holds up some dollar bills before stuffing them back in his pocket. “Today your junk’s on me, lady.”
I stifle a laugh.
“That came out weird, didn’t it?” he asks.
“Sure did.”
God, he makes me laugh.
Matt pulls down the first rower just as my phone rings.
Surprise, surprise, it’s my mother. I’ve ignored her past few calls, so I might as well nip it in the bud and get this over with.
I answer the call. “Hi, Mom.”
“Hi, Mom,” she mimics me. “That’s all you have to say after ignoring my calls all week?”
“I haven’t been ignoring you, Mom.”
“Well, you certainly haven’t been calling me back.” She scoffs.
“It’s the busy season at work, Mom. You know that.”
“Yes, I do. And you know how much the Whitaker Wonderland party means to me. It’s important to us that you be there.”
Matt pulls down the second rower, then gets close to me. He whispers, “Everything okay?”
I cover the mouthpiece and lower the phone. “She’s still harping on this party.”
“It’s on Sunday?”
I nod.
“You said last night you want to see your sister and her kids, right?” he keeps whispering.
“Right…”
“So maybe this is a good chance to do that?”
“Yeah, maybe, but my mom is just so…”
My mom exemplifies my point by shouting into the phone, currently dangling by my side, no doubt pissed that I’m not responding to her right away.
Matt takes another step closer and cups my cheek. “If your mom wasn’t a factor, would you want to go?”
I think for a second.
“Yeah,” I say. “I would.”
“Well then, consider me your mom-buffer.”
He grabs the phone from me and places it to his ear.
“What are you doing?!” I whisper-yell.
He holds up a finger to me.
I can hear her ranting through the speaker.
“Whoa, whoa whoa,” he says. “Mrs. Whitaker? Yes. Hi there. Wow, you have a lot of energy, huh? That’s great! Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you. My name is Matt. I’m Penny’s boyfriend.” He gives me a wink. “Thank you so much for the invitation. Your daughter and I can’t wait to see you on Sunday.”