8. Sin
SIN
Two days later
Days after Sapphire is gone, I still feel her presence.
It has nothing to do with the sweet scent of her perfume still evident on my pillows, or the fact she was tangled in my sheets for one entire night.
If I could’ve kept her in my bed for the rest of the weekend, I would have, but Reaper would’ve been looking for her.
I haven’t said anything to him, and nobody ratted me out after carrying her upstairs, so for now our secret’s safe. I don’t like lying to my best friend, but if Sapphire doesn’t want me back, there is no point adding fuel to the fire where Reaper is concerned.
Right now, me and Mika are finishing up lunch because we do that every Sunday.
I try to catch up with her as much as I can, and it saves her from coming to the clubhouse.
I love my club, but I don’t need my little sister hanging around.
She’ll only get ideas, and then the guys will be all over her.
I really don’t want to be knocking out every brother in the clubhouse, so it’s easier this way.
There are a couple of nice places to eat in Blackstone. One of them is Mika’s favorite and owned by the club: Blackstone Burgers. Yeah, the name is average, but it’s simple, and the grub is good.
“You seem different,” she says, scrutinizing my face across the booth. “Something’s up.”
She’s got a sixth sense like you wouldn’t believe.
“Nope,” I say. “Eat your food.”
“Don’t be bossy. First, you came to the table whistling. Then you let me order the lobster roll—the most expensive thing on the menu. And now you’re changing the subject. What are you hiding? Ooh, is it a girrrrl?”
I give her an exasperated look. “How old are we, like twelve?”
“Ha! It’s a girl, isn’t it?”
“Fuck off.”
“Aww, what happened? Did she shoot you down?” She laughs, shaking her head like this is the best news ever.
While Sapphire didn’t shoot me down, so to speak, she also didn’t give me an answer, and I don’t know when I’ll see her next.
That irritates me, but I don’t want to crowd her.
She’s like a cornered animal when given an ultimatum, and I don’t want her to feel pressured.
But she didn’t deny the way she felt. If Sapphire really wanted to leave, she would have.
There ain’t nobody on the planet who can keep that woman from doing something she wants to do, including high-tailing it.
“What’s gotten into you today?” I throw back. “Maybe you’re the one with somethin’ to hide?”
She pokes her tongue out childishly. “Right, like anything exciting ever happens in my life.”
“Let’s keep it that way, less chance of getting into trouble?—”
“Mom?”
I blink, then follow her gaze over my shoulder.
Fuck no.
Our mother is at the counter, picking up a takeout bag. She hasn’t seen us, but Mika is already out of her seat.
I snag her wrist. “Mika, don’t.”
She looks at me sharply. “Wait, you knew she was in town?”
I sigh. “Yeah, okay, I knew. She’s here for a few days, hoping for a family reunion.”
My sister gapes at me. “And when were you gonna tell me?”
“Meek, I was gettin’ to it.”
“Really?” she huffs, “because it doesn’t look that way to me.”
Like some kind of horror show about to unfold, my mom turns our way. Her eyes meet Mika’s first, then they flick to me.
Tears spring to Mika’s eyes. It’s been years, five if I had to count, since Mika’s seen her. I didn’t tell her about the last time Mom needed to borrow money, claiming it was for groceries, but I knew she wasn’t clean.
I don’t know what I expected, but Mika doesn’t move.
Mom looks at her shoes nervously, then puffs out her cheeks, as if she’s deciding what to do.
She’s always been an attractive woman, there’s no doubt about it.
She and Mika look exactly the same. Long, chestnut curls, except my sister has bangs, the same blue eyes.
They’re both slight women and stand at five-three, Mom may be half an inch taller.
Mika faces me. “You lied to me.” She looks hurt and angry, her eyes full of unshed tears.
“No, I didn’t. I was protecting you. I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“You’re hurting me now. You know I’ve always wanted to see her again, and you were going to rob me of the chance.”
How the fuck did this become my fault?
“Because she’s only going to hurt you, except this time you’re well aware of it. I wish I could say she’s changed, but I don’t know that she has.”
“That isn’t for you to decide,” she throws back, but it’s too late. Mom is walking toward us.
Her eyes are also welling with tears. I’ve never seen her look like this; well dressed, makeup on, her hair styled. She looks alive. Like someone switched the light on inside her.
“Hello, Manika, Alexander,” she says softly. “I—I didn’t know you’d be here.”
“It’s a small town,” I mutter.
My sister just stands there like a statue, frozen.
“Mom?”
“We’ve established that,” I grunt.
“Hello, honey. Don’t be mad at your brother, you know how he worries.”
Anger boils inside me. How the fuck would she know what I am and what I’m not? She was too wasted, partying instead of raising her kids, and now she’s lecturing my sister?
“Of course she knows,” I say, malice in my tone. “I raised her, remember?”
Then I’m horror-struck as my sister rushes at my mom to hug her, tears freely flowing now. “Mommy.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. No fucking way.
“Oh, sweetie.” Mom’s crying, too, and people are starting to stare.
“Why don’t you take a seat?” I mumble. “People are trying to eat. They don’t need dinner and a show.”
The two of them stare at each other as Mom tucks my sister’s hair behind her ears, assessing her. “You look real pretty, Manika, stunning.”
“Where were you?” she bleats, sliding into the booth as Mom sits next to her. “Why didn’t you call?”
Mom glances at me, and I stare at her stony-faced. Yeah, Mom, why don’t you tell her?
“Honey, there’s a lot I have to answer for, but now isn’t the time or place?—”
“Damn straight,” I cut in.
“Sin?” My sister shoots me a death glare. “Enough! I’m not a child anymore, you don’t get to decide for me.”
“No? Well, you just remember everything we’ve been through. What we had to do alone.” Okay, that may not be fair, but I’m pissed.
Pissed that our mom showed up out of the blue, and now Mika will get her hopes up.
My hopes have been dashed far too many times for anything to be believable anymore.
Mika is still young, and while she’s had her world ripped right out, she hasn’t carried the torture of worrying about how to make things right when you don’t know what the fuck you’re doing.
“I’m so sorry,” Mom says, and now I feel like an asshole. “I wasn’t a good mom. Heck, I didn’t deserve to have kids, but to get another chance, even a small one, you don’t know what that would mean for me.”
She looks pained, and it tugs at my heartstrings. Despite what people may think, I do have a heart buried deep inside.
I swallow hard. “I’m out,” I reply, tossing my napkin in the middle of the table. “I can’t do this.”
Mika’s eyes go wide and glassy, like she might cry. If she wants to be sucked in by this woman again, I can’t exactly stop her.
“Alexander!” Mom and Mika call at the same time, but I can’t.
I won’t put myself through this again.
Not for anything.