7. Sapphire
SAPPHIRE
I wake in a panic, not knowing where I am. I can’t breathe, but not because of the nightmare I woke myself up from. It’s Sin, lying half on top of me, one arm slung over my body.
At the mere change in my breathing, he lifts off me slightly. “Sapphire?”
“I’m okay,” I whisper, trying to stop my heart racing as I sit up. “Go back to sleep.”
We fucked again in the shower, not that it’s big enough for the two of us, but I’m not complaining. Sex with Sin is not something I’m ever going to complain about.
What the hell happened tonight?
More to the point, what am I doing in his room?
The clubhouse is quiet now. I should’ve left to find my own room instead of following Sin’s advice. That whole “claiming your woman” crap is a crock of shit. I’d like to claim a man and have him wear Property of Sapphire. Wouldn’t that be a hoot!
He sits up, his eyes assessing me in the dark. “Nightmare?”
I nod. “I have them from time to time.”
“What about?”
“My dad,” I explain simply.
Of course, he can’t know the truth. Nobody can. The truth will go with me to the grave.
What I did…
If Sin ever found out? More to the point: if Reaper found out.
I swallow, and his eyes stay fixed on me.
“Saph?”
“Go back to sleep,” I say again.
“You need somethin’?”
I don’t know why his words pain me.
Perhaps because I’m used to relying on myself. I’m not a man-hater, far from it. Just because the most important man in my life let me down doesn’t mean I hate all men. I like men. A lot.
But some secrets can’t ever be confessed out loud.
“I’m fine.”
I slide back down as he turns on his side, resting his head in one hand. “How often do you have bad dreams?”
“When I’m in an unfamiliar bed.”
His eyebrows scrunch for a fraction of a second. “How often is that?”
I swat his arm. “Shut up.”
Sin leans over to kiss me, and it’s surprisingly soft.
“We’re not supposed to be doing this.” I sigh.
“Doin’ what?”
“Kissing and cuddling.”
“Why not? You like it, don’t you?”
“Yes, but?—”
“No buts. If you like it then stop complainin’.”
“I’m not. I was merely stating that canoodling like this will only be harder for both of us.”
He ignores the insinuation and snorts. “Canoodling?”
“It’s probably best we forget tonight ever happened.”
“You don’t mean that.”
Why does my heart jolt? Because I agree with him. I don’t mean it.
“I’m going back to Saddle tomorrow.”
“Saddle is only an hour away, faster on my beast.”
I blink. “Sin…” I pinch the bridge of my nose. “It isn’t just Reaper. I have a club, one that I’m dedicated to. It’s my life, and I have no plans to leave?—”
“Like I said before, you wouldn’t have to. We could make it work between the two places. It’s not that difficult.”
I stare at him, unable to process his words.
Of course we could do that. I doubt any of the Stilettos would give a shit, but his club brothers might have something to say, including my own.
I’m making a mountain out of a molehill, but it’s what I do.
I run away when things get hard or heavy. I know this about me.
“You think I’m scared of Reaper?” he asks.
“No, it’s not that. There’s so much going on back home, I should be there.”
“But you’re not. You’re here. The club will survive without you, but I’m not stoppin’ you goin’ anywhere.”
I glance at him. “Really? You bolted the door.”
“Because you were sassy last night.”
I’ve been this way my whole life. It’s what I do. “You, of all people, know why.” The words are out of my mouth before I realize their impact.
He brushes a knuckle gently across my cheek. “You have a smart mouth to protect yourself, to keep others away from you.”
And there it is.
Sin has always been able to see right through me.
“Didn’t work though, did it?” Sarcasm is what comes naturally to me.
“What do you expect? You’re every red-blooded man’s wet dream.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
I’ve never known Sin to be like this.
Tender.
Sweet.
It’s all-consuming. I’ve seen this beast knock a man unconscious with one swing—and I have no doubt he’s done much worse—and here he is brushing the hair off my face and caressing me like I’m something valuable.
Something to be protected. I can’t find fault in that.
As stubborn as I am, I don’t want it to end. I like it.
“You should let someone look after you for once.” He places one finger over my lips before I can speak. “And before you cuss me out, I know you can look after yourself, you’ve been doin’ that since you were a child, but sometimes it’s okay to let your guard down.”
Jesus. He’s getting to me. My eyes glaze over, unshed tears. I run my fingers through his chest hair, trying to distract myself. A soft groan leaves his lips, his eyes dipping to where I’m touching him. No.
“I’ve never done that,” I admit. “Let my guard down. Every time I tried, someone screwed me over. I’ve learned to rely on myself, and my girls, but men have never been a reliable source in my life?—”
“That’s not entirely true,” he objects. “What about Reap?”
“You’re right. He’s an amazing brother. Reaper is the only one who gives a shit about me.”
“What about me? I give a shit.”
I swallow again, my eyes firmly on my fingers, playing with his chest hair. “I know you do. It’s just… this is new for me. I didn’t expect to come here and be in your bed, and now we’re what? Playin’ happy families?”
“My family is my sister, you and Reap, and my club. You’re part of me, like air is to my lungs, always have been.”
As I try to grapple with his words, I frown. “Why didn’t you ever say something?”
“Too chicken.” He shrugs. “Never thought you’d look at me twice, but we’re different now. Older. I’d like to think wiser, too. One thing I’ve come to realize over the years is how short life is, especially in our world. It goes by so fast, and it’s too short to waste not shootin’ your shot.”
“Is that what you’re doing, Alexander? Shooting your shot?”
He cups my face, his eyes sparkling with warmth and sincerity. “Yes, I am. It’s taken me all this time to finally do it. You don’t have to give me an answer tonight, but soon. I want you to be my ol’ lady.”
My eyes blink rapidly. “You’re serious?”
“I know how that probably makes you feel, but you’d own me too, babe. I’d be yours, and only yours.”
My heart beats rapidly in my chest. Holy fuck a duck.
This man.
“This is a lot to think about. I didn’t… I didn’t expect it.”
“The question is, do you want it? Do you want me? Take some time to think it over. Tell me to fuck off if you want, but I need an answer, and soon.”
“What’s the rush?”
He rolls over the top of me, pinning my hands above my head. “Like I said, life’s too short to fuck around. I want you. I want to be with you, be your ol’ man. Think about it.”
He peppers kisses down my neck, over my breasts, suckling on each nipple, then proceeds south, down my torso, stopping at the apex of my thighs. He nuzzles against my pussy as my legs fall open
“Daddy’s home,” he mutters, then dives in like there’s no tomorrow.