Chapter 4
Chapter Four
“Kaelric wants me to meet him by the river,” I told Godric.
Godric nodded, stood, and set his food aside. “I’ll take you.”
He led me into the thick trees, away from camp. We walked for maybe five minutes before I heard water. The rushing river came into view, wide and fast, cutting through stone and thick undergrowth.
Kaelric sat cross-legged on a flat boulder near the bank, eyes closed, hands on his knees. There was no one else, no guards, just Kaelric and the river.
Without opening his eyes, he spoke: “You can go, Godric. Thank you.”
Godric glanced at me, checking to see if I was okay with that. Warmth flickered somewhere in my chest. I liked that he was protective.
I nodded once, giving my permission, and Godric disappeared through the trees.
“Have you suddenly taken up meditation?” I asked Kaelric.
He patted the rock beside him, still not opening his eyes.
Really? After screaming in his face last night, he wanted me to sit next to him?
I huffed, unsheathing Val and setting her on the wide flat rock behind us as I plopped down. The stone was cool under my legs. I peered at Kaelric, and I wanted to hate him. I wanted to cling to the barrier I’d built around my heart this morning.
But the way sunlight filtered through the leaves and landed on his face made it difficult. He looked almost unreal. Sharp nose, strong jawline, long dark hair gathered loosely, lips relaxed. The shield around my heart bent slightly but held.
“Sometimes, when I sit really quietly, with my eyes closed, I can remember things she told me that I’d forgotten,” he said, voice low.
My heart pinched, and I frowned. “Your mother?”
He nodded, eyes still closed. “I was only eleven when my family was killed. I was in the middle of my training, but I never took it seriously. I wasn’t the eldest, so the odds of me being alpha were slim.”
I stayed still beside him, the sounds of the river curling around us like quiet company. Sunlight filtered through the leaves overhead and made thin, shifting shapes across his face. He looked ethereal, sitting like that, almost like the wild itself had paused to listen to him with me.
I swallowed hard. I couldn’t imagine my mother and father, and all my siblings being murdered when I was that young. The thought alone made my chest tighten. I could not fathom bearing the weight of such huge heartbreak on such small shoulders.
“My mother was my father’s top war advisor. She had a mind that was unlike anything he’d ever seen. An ability to sort out problems he thought unsolvable.”
His voice softened when he spoke of her, the hard edges of him easing as though the memory smoothed them. A breeze brushed the river, carrying the scent of pine and wet stone. Kaelric lifted his chin slightly, eyes still closed, as if he could feel her presence when he thought of her.
His eyes popped open, and his gaze fell briefly to my lips.
“But as hard as I try, I can’t remember what advice she would give me for this situation,” he said, then he turned and glanced at the sword that lay on the rock.
The river rushed steadily below us, stealing the silence. I followed his gaze and felt Valkaryn’s grief even though we weren’t touching. It slid over my skin like a slow ache, blooming beneath my ribs.
‘Tell him I love him and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for leaving him too soon,’ Val said, her voice quieter than usual, as if she were speaking through water.
Her sorrow struck deep. It wasn’t loud or angry, just unbearably sincere. I had to exhale slowly, grounding myself before speaking.
I didn’t want to be the translator between the love of my life and his dead mother, but there was no other choice.
“She says she loves you and she’s sorry.”
His gaze narrowed, green eyes sharp as glass.
“Sorry for thinking I wouldn’t be pure enough to wield her?”
There was so much venom in his words, resentment honed over months, maybe over every moment he’d spent trying to be stronger, more capable, more worthy. I realized I might have underestimated how deep that wound ran.
‘I don’t think. I know. Just as I knew the second you walked into the binding hall, Brynn, that you were worthy. It’s a gift I have.’
I blinked. That was… a lot. It explained things that had never made sense. Why she’d chosen me so fast. Why Kaelric felt so betrayed.
Even though I was still mad at how Kaelric had treated me for something beyond my control, I still cared for him. I cared that he not be emotionally scarred from this. Those scars were already deep enough.
I reached out and took his hands in mine, his warmth sinking into my palms. The moment our skin met, that familiar connection sparked to life, and a soft buzzing heat spread through my belly.
His eyes locked on mine, and I almost forgot what I intended to say.
I could stare into those eyes forever and still find something new, shaded emotion, flickers of memory, the tiny flecks of gold that appeared when his wolf stirred.
“She didn’t think you would not be worthy enough to wield her. She knew. It’s part of her gift. Just as she knew when I walked into the binding hall that I would be the one to wield her.”
Pain flickered across his face, but instead of pulling away, he squeezed tighter, as if he were borrowing strength from me. The way his thumb brushed the inside of my wrist was instinctive, like he couldn’t not do it, like some part of him still believed we belonged to each other.
A soft pulse came from Valkaryn.
‘I want to try something I think might work. It will take energy from you, but you are not in danger, so you can go and rest after. Would that be okay?’
‘Yes.’
The moment I agreed, she warmed. That quiet hum of her power settled low in my arm.
‘Put your fingers on his temples. I am going to try to speak into his mind for a short moment. You will hear it, too, but it will be nice for him to hear my voice.’
My throat tightened unexpectedly. This felt so intimate.
I smiled despite myself, and Kaelric cocked his head slightly, confused by the sudden shift.
“She wants to try something,” I whispered, releasing his hands so I could lift mine to his face.
His lips parted, breath catching. His eyes bled to bright yellow as I cupped his jaw and let my fingers settle at his temples. His skin was warm. So warm.
‘Close your eyes and try to make your mind go blank,’ Val told me.
Right. Easy. Sure.
I closed my eyes and instantly lost focus. The rushing water was suddenly so loud. Constant. My brain decided that was the perfect moment to obsess about fish, whether any were swimming near us, whether bears lived in this region, and—
‘Brynn,’ Val scolded, exasperated.
I winced and forced myself to picture a black night sky, empty and still. One star. Then none. Just dark. I breathed into the quiet, and slowly thoughts drifted away like leaves carried downstream.
After a moment, when my mind finally stilled, I felt Val stir.
A presence slid through me like cool air.
‘Hello, son.’
Kaelric gasped.
His fingers twitched against his knees, but he didn’t break the connection. I tried not to react either, keeping my breathing even, my focus on the black sky in my thoughts.
‘Brynn is the only one of your generation worthy to wield my power, chosen by the Creator himself. It was at my request that she decline magic for her family and keep me instead, for I knew if she forfeited my power, you would not wield it, and it would be lost for another hundred years at least.’
My heart lurched.
I heard him whimper. Kaelric Morvain, who could command armies and split stone with his bare hands, made a small, broken sound.
‘But how do I save our people without risking Brynn? I never wanted her to keep you because I don’t want to put her in danger, but your power is the only thing that can stop Harrow.’
His voice echoed in my mind, raw and terrified. It felt wrong to listen. But Val kept us connected, so I stayed.
‘You have no control over that, son. But we will find a way. You have to have faith.’
He let out a shaking breath. His posture softened, the tension spilling out of him.
‘I missed your voice, Mama.’
He sounded like a little boy. My eyes burned, and tears slipped out beneath my lids. I didn’t wipe them away.
‘I miss everything about you, Son.’
He smiled. I could feel it, his cheeks lifting beneath my palms.
We sat like that in silence for a long time. Minutes. Maybe more. Just Kaelric listening, Valkaryn humming gently, a song from his childhood maybe, and the river whispering around us.
Finally, she spoke again.
‘I will find a way to free our people, Maelis included.’
Then the power ebbed. I let my hands fall from his face and opened my eyes.
Kaelric stared back at me, bright yellow eyes burning. His jaw was clenched so tight the muscles trembled.
I swallowed.
“You okay?”
“No,” he ground out. “My wolf is not okay with how I treated you for keeping the sword.”
His voice was strained, low and rough.
I just watched him, surprised he admitted it.
“But you are?” I pressed.
His eyes snapped back to emerald-green so fast I flinched.
“No. Brynn, I’m sorry.” He put his head in his hands. “I was mad at my mother, not you.”
I crossed my arms, holding the steel wall around my heart firm. “I could have magic right now, Kaelric. My entire family could be helping rebuild homes for our people with magic, not with blistered fingers. I gave all of that up to help you.”
I stood, and he dragged his hands down his face, looking up at me with a desperate expression.
“I know. I’m sorry. Please, little human. Forgive me?”
The pet name cracked something inside me. I stepped back anyway, needing distance.
“I’ve cried myself to sleep for months with one thing on repeat in my head: I’ll never forgive you for this. Those words cut into my soul, Kaelric, and you’re a shitty mate for ever saying them.”