Chapter 4 #2
He flinched as if I had struck him. His eyes slid away, glassy and distant, and for a moment, he looked like a ghost of the man I once loved. I turned from him, feeling Valkaryn stir.
‘Do not say anything,’ I warned her.
She fell silent.
My heart still pounded from the confrontation. The river rushed nearby, a constant whisper on the rocks. Kaelric sat frozen, shoulders hunched, too proud to beg again, too broken to fight.
I walked away, collecting Valkaryn from the rock, and the moment my fingers closed around her hilt, she hummed low.
‘You were honest,’ she told me, gently. ‘He needed to hear your truth, or you would never be able to get past this.’
I swallowed hard. I wish honesty didn’t hurt so much.
The forest filtered sunlight in soft bands as I made my way back to camp. Everything looked too peaceful for how wrecked I felt. Godric waited near the training field, already reading my mood by the tightness in my jaw.
He rose without a word. “Want to spar?”
Did I want to spar? I wanted to rip someone’s head from their body. If I didn’t hit something, I might scream.
We moved to the open field. I stripped off my outer cloak, and he tossed me a wooden practice blade. The moment my fingers curled around it, the buzzing inside my chest eased. Godric stepped in with an easy stance, offering the first strike.
I lunged. He blocked. The impact rattled my arms, grounding me in motion instead of memory. My mother didn’t raise a weak woman. I wouldn’t come crawling back to him just because he now realized his mistakes.
‘Not without a fig tree,’ Val murmured from her place at my scabbard.
‘A what?’
Her answer floated through my thoughts like smoke. ‘Sorry. It reminds me of an argument I had with Kaelric’s father.’
I snorted. ‘You fought? You were mates.’
‘Oh, we fought like hot oil and cold water. I loved it.’
I grinned. There was warmth in her tone, a whisper of humor beneath the old grief. I focused on Godric, bringing the blade up as he swung. We traded blows, fluid and controlled.
‘What was the fight about?’ I knew if she didn’t want me to ask, she wouldn’t answer.
‘Kaelric’s labor was long,’ she said.
‘I don’t want to talk about him.’ My blade met Godric’s with a sharp snap.
‘It’s part of the story. I was in my twelfth hour of hard labor… and Drake leaned in and whispered, “Honey, I am tired. Could you possibly hurry?”’
My grip faltered. I barked a laugh. Godric seemed to be used to my mental conversations that didn’t involve him.
‘Did you kill him?’
‘I almost did. I grabbed his hair with the next contraction and screamed some not so nice words right into his face.’
A smile broke across my lips. Godric took that moment to sweep my leg. I hopped over it, light on my toes.
‘After twenty hours of labor, little Kaelric was born. Drake felt terrible. The next morning, I was exhausted and sleep-deprived. He brought flowers, but I threw them across the room and told him I would not be having more children for him.’
‘What did he do?’
Her fondness bordered on aching. ‘The next day, he brought ten bouquets. I said flowers were for when a man said I looked fat in a dress. If he wanted to soften me, he should think bigger.’
‘Did he bring a hundred?’
She laughed. ‘Brynn, the man dug up the fig tree in our orchard and wheeled it inside. He parked it at my bedside and told me I could have fresh figs while I rested. I forgave him instantly. Men are just idiots sometimes.’
Men are just idiots sometimes. It was sage advice.
I smiled at the image and pressed harder against Godric’s guard. Sweat slicked the back of my neck. He moved with power, but he was holding back. Teaching. Watching.
We sparred until our chests heaved and both of us dripped sweat. The grass beneath our boots was trampled by our repeated steps. Fatigue pulled at my limbs, and I was feeling the pull on my energy that Valkaryn had used to mentally speak to Kaelric, but I was determined to fight it.
Two wolfkin women clapped nearby when Godric finally signaled the end of our spar. I wiped my upper lip, smiling politely.
“Thanks,” I breathed.
“You want to grab some food with us? We want to hear the story of how you came to wield the Alpha Killer,” one girl called.
Godric nodded once at me, silent approval.
I shrugged. “Sure.” Maybe more food would energize me.
They led me toward the wide food tent. Godric walked a little behind us, quiet, watchful. The tent was full of chatter, voices rising from long tables covered in mismatched plates. Metal clinked against stone bowls, and steam from something savory made the air warm.
One of the women, with bright copper hair braided down her back, bowed her head to me. “I’m Adrina.”
The girl beside her mirrored the gesture. “Flora.”
“I’m Brynn,” I said, bowing my head in return. They giggled as if I’d done something charming.
“You’re funny,” Adrina said.
I shrugged. I was still learning the rules.
We filled plates high with fragrant rice, lentils, and garlic flatbread. We sat outside beneath a tall black pine, Godric nearby polishing his sword on a patch of grass.
‘He trusts no one with your safety,’ Val said. ‘Kaelric’s orders.’
Probably smart, though these women seemed harmless.
Flora stared at Valkaryn. “Does she really kill with one cut?”
I shrugged. “If she wants to.”
“That is so cool,” Adrina breathed.
They peppered me with questions. I answered them as best I could, though some memories tugged too deeply to explain. When their curiosity turned to the trials, to the Dregs, I told them pieces that felt safe to share. Their eyes stayed wide, brimming with fascination instead of fear.
Eventually, the fatigue got the better of me, and I excused myself to go lie down.
After a long nap, I made my way to the women’s bath tent.
I washed the sweat from my body with a lukewarm bucket of water, scrubbing my skin until it tingled.
Lavender soap scent clung to the air. After rinsing, I pulled on clean clothes and stepped outside to find Godric waiting like a stone statue near the entrance.
He didn’t speak. I didn’t either. We had developed this easy-going relationship that didn’t require constant conversation. We walked through dim paths back toward the tents, where the campfire smoke drifted skyward, curling into the evening moonlight.
Godric went into his tent, and when I entered mine, there was a letter on my pillow.
Even from across the space, I recognized Kaelric’s handwriting. Tight. Upright. Controlled.
I sank onto the bed and read.
Brynn,
If I’m being completely honest… I don’t know how to love.
Each day that passes, I forget a little bit of what it was like to see my parents together.
I know they loved each other. I’ve heard stories of their great love, but I grew up in a time of war and loss, when a lot of expectation was placed on my eleven-year-old grieving shoulders.
It’s not an excuse for how I treated you.
I was so mad I didn’t know who to blame.
Maybe you should have taken the magic? It’s not like you can do anything against Harrow with my mother anyway.
What if it was all for nothing? And my people inside those walls suffer forever because I can’t save them.
Those thoughts keep me up at night. But so do thoughts of you.
The look on your face when I told you I’d never forgive you.
The way you screamed in my face last night that you risked everything for me.
I messed up, and I’m miserable without you by my side.
I could live a thousand years content if it meant I got to kiss you goodnight each and every one of them.
I had to blink rapidly to clear the tears that formed.
Forgive me, even though I said I’d never forgive you. It was a lie. It is myself who I will never forgive if you stay mad at me.
Your mate,
Kaelric
I blew out a breath and set the letter on my lap.
Damn. He could write.
‘It is no fig tree,’ I told Val.
‘No. It is better,’ she said.
She was right. Men rarely poured their hearts out like this. Especially powerful men. Especially alphas.
I tugged on my boots again and slipped outside. Godric sat in a chair a short distance away, carving wood with a little knife. His gaze flicked up to mine.
Busted.
“I’m…” My voice struggled. “Kaelric needs to see me,” I lied.
Godric rose, slid his wood project into his pocket, and walked ahead without question. He escorted me to Kaelric’s tent. The guard saw me and lifted the flap immediately. As if I was expected.
Inside, Kaelric stood near a tin firebox, warming his hands. He spun at the sound of me entering. Hope sparked in his eyes.
“If you’re here to yell at me, maybe save it for tomorrow. I don’t think I can handle it tonight,” he offered.
I nodded. “Okay. I’ll come back tomorrow.”
I turned, walked three steps, then spun with a grin.
His mouth popped open. “Brynn Brighton, you are truly evil for a little human.”
I walked back over to him, feeling my heart melt at his pet name for me.
“What can I say, little alpha? I’ve learned to be tough to survive.”
He winced. “Never call me little alpha again.”
I laughed, tipping my head back. He stepped forward, arms sweeping around me, lips brushing my throat.
“Creator help me, you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
Heat flushed my skin. I rose up, fingers gripping his biceps. “I got your letter. Did your mother teach you how to apologize, or your father?”
He grinned. “Neither. Elia did.”
I laughed. “Then I owe her a thank you.”
His expression softened. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I think old childhood wounds broke open, and I lashed out at the wrong person.”
My chest ached at his honesty. “I forgive you,” I said. And I meant it.
Love was messy. Love was flawed. Love was forgiveness. And sometimes men were just stupid.
“And I didn’t even need to get you a fig tree,” he added.
My mouth popped open. “You know that story?”
He nodded. “My father told me a dozen times growing up.”
He cupped my face and looked deep into my eyes. His gaze flickered from green to yellow. “I love you, Brynn, with everything that I have.”
I whimpered when his lips crashed against mine.
The kiss stole all thought. His arms locked around me, powerful and sure.
My fingers threaded into his hair, and the world shrank to the taste of him.
Warm. Wild. Familiar. He pulled me closer, and the hard planes of his chest pressed against mine.
My heart raced like it wanted to leap into his ribs.
Time unraveled. His thumb brushed my jaw. His mouth moved with unguarded need. I felt dizzy, alive, unraveled. When he finally pulled back, our foreheads rested together, lips barely apart, breaths mingling.
“You undo me,” he whispered, voice rough.
I closed my eyes, savoring the warmth of him. He squeezed my hands.
“In my dreams, I make you my queen, Brynn. Have children with you. Grow old arguing on the porch in Hildreth.”
All the air left my lungs. “I want that, too. And… there is a way.”
His brows drew down. “A way?”
I nodded. “Your mother told me how she was able to be with your father fully. To give him children.”
His expression darkened. “I was wondering when she would tell you. No, Brynn. My mother was one of a kind. What happened to her was a freak accident. Others die when bitten like that. I have seen it.”
My chest tightened.
But still… the thought burned.
“It would not have to happen the same way. Not a rabid wolfkin. Maybe controlled. Someone like you…”
He recoiled like I had wounded him. “I could never. My wolf would never allow me to hurt you like that.”
“Not even so we could be together?”
His voice cracked. “Brynn, this is a fantasy. The odds of you dying, or worse… are too high.”
But I knew I would survive. Because I was made for him.
I smiled faintly. “It was just a thought.”
He squeezed my fingers. “Don’t think I have not imagined it. But it’s not the answer. And I don’t mind being with you like this. My heart belongs to no one else.”
My throat tightened. I knew time would shift that. His people needed heirs. His kingdom needed a future. Our bodies needed release.
“It would allow your mother to fully use her power. Right now, she is limited by my weak human vessel,” I added.
He lifted my hand and kissed my knuckles. “Nothing about you is weak.”
I grinned, warmed by his sincerity. “Have you tried using your alpha power on Harrow? Maybe you could control him while I get Maelis in and out.”
He nodded. “Two years ago. I barely survived. Lost three men.”
Damn. Silence pressed thick between us.
“Well, I should get back to my tent before rumors start.” I winked.
He looked disappointed at that, but I knew that kissing him more would only lead to me wanting to do more of that, and the end of that rainbow was marked with his death because of the curse, so I wasn’t going to risk it.
After another kiss, I slipped outside, and Godric was twenty feet away, chatting with another guard. He signaled that I wait for him, so I did.
Val stirred.
‘I have an idea…’
‘Please tell me you thought of a way to save Maelis,’ I pleaded.
‘I don’t know about that yet. But if you could get inside the city and speak with a few people on the outskirts, I may be able to see Mind Render’s spell on them. Then I will know how hard it is to break.’
‘A recon mission?’
‘Yes. One where you are not in danger. We will stay far from the castle.’
I nodded to myself. I loved it.
‘When do we leave?’
‘Godric and Kaelric will tear this camp apart if you vanish. If you leave a note explaining where you went, they will storm the city looking for you and die. Harrow’s army is vast.’
‘So what do you suggest?’
She hesitated.
‘You must leave Kaelric a note saying Godric escorted you back to Hildreth to think about things. Tell him you are unsure about being with him.’
My heart fractured. It would destroy him.
‘It’s only temporary until we get back tomorrow night—at the latest. Then you can tell him it was my idea. He respects my war strategy.’
I bit the inside of my cheek. That didn’t go so well last time she had an idea.
‘And Godric? He will go to Hildreth and look for me.’
‘You convince him to lie to Kaelric and go into the city with you to protect you.’
My eyes widened. ‘No way. I can go alone.’
‘You can. But I don’t want you to. Godric will run fast to Hildreth and confirm you left. It’s the only way we buy a full day of silence. We need him on board.’
Godric appeared at my side suddenly, and I jumped.
“You okay?”
I let out a shaky laugh. “Just stuck in my thoughts. Sorry.”
He studied me quietly, then nodded once, accepting my answer.
The forest felt suddenly closer, shadows deepening as night settled fully. I glanced toward Kaelric’s tent, then toward the distant wall, feeling the pulse of my fate urging me forward.