Chapter 2
Ben winced. He could hear that baby screaming all the way across the parking lot. Damn shifter hearing. He could hear too much, all the time. Most of what he heard these days were the voices in his head, telling him he”d never measure up, telling him he”d never be good.
Good for nothing—that’s what his older brother had called him.
He watched dispassionately as the tattooed woman drove away, the baby still squalling in the back seat. He was glad he had helped her. Maybe he should”ve done more, bought her a burrito or something. Poor lady looked malnourished with that blue tank top hanging loose about her, but maybe she was just skinny. He couldn’t tell for sure, and so much confused him now. He’d been a dick over the past few years, and now he was attempting to be a better person. That meant, in part, trying not to judge or stereotype people. It was fucking hard.
There was a wild, smoky scent in the air—maybe a shifter had been nearby at some point. But the town of Maxon was neutral territory, and Ben didn’t need to worry about other shifters unless there was a problem.
After the tattooed mom was gone, he climbed into his truck. Best truck ever. It was the only thing that made him happy. Shiny cherry finish, four-wheel drive, extended cab, leather interior, always growled eagerly when he started it.
He leaned back in the seat, his belly full of burrito, taco seasoning filling his senses. He opened up his pocket calendar again and flipped through. Every day of this year had a slash mark going through it. Today”s good deed didn”t seem that big, but he”d had to overcome his personal aversion to babies in order to help that mom. It counted for extra points, as far as he was concerned. Yesterday, he had given himself a slash mark for buying a sandwich at Dristan”s deli and giving it to the homeless guy sitting outside. The day before had been a close one. He almost didn”t have a good deed, so he went to Hart’s, the local bar, and redeemed the day by breaking up a fight without hurting anybody or allowing anybody else to get hurt. A year and a half ago, he would”ve been joining in, fists swinging.
He turned the key just enough in the ignition so he could open his windows. Mid-June in the Montana mountains wasn”t too warm, but it was warm enough. His shifter blood made him run hotter, anyway.
He flipped to the front of his calendar. His eyes landed on the three letters he”d written there when he’d bought the calendar in January. GJM. He had to make things up to her, somehow. He didn”t deserve her forgiveness, but if he was able to win it, maybe he could quit all this good deed nonsense.
Right now, though, this was like training. He had to work out his good muscles every day, get himself stronger, better. It was like what he’d done when he became a Guardian for the Corona Pride. Exercising constantly, training constantly. He had started out at the bottom and worked his way to becoming one of the most elite Guardians in the pride. It had been hard, but worth it. His older brother had done the training along with him, and his twin brother, Doug.
Fucking asshole, Doug. Ben grabbed his phone from the cup holder. He should call him, see how he was doing. It had been too long. He frowned at the screen. Just do it. Call him.
He started to put the phone down again, then one of the voices in his head said, Calling a brother is what a good person would do.
Annoyed with himself, Ben pulled up his brother’s number and dialed.
The phone rang three times. Ben held his breath. Maybe Doug wouldn”t answer. Ben wouldn”t blame him. They”d kept their distance from each other ever since last July. It was too painful.
Then Doug answered. ”Hey, fucker.”
”Your phone greeting could use some work,” Ben said dryly.
”Nope, I meant what I said.” Doug chuckled. ”What”s up, brother?”
Ben shook his head and stared at the taqueria. A line was forming inside, and soon it would go out the door. Dinnertime was getting closer.
Why had he called his brother? Ben shook his head. ”Nothing”s going on, just thought I would check in.”
”Nothing much is going on here, either,” Doug said. ”The Rock Creek Clan is boring as hell.”
”Are you making friends?”
Doug snorted. ”You know, yeah, that”s my strength. Making friends and influencing people.”
”Do you know when you”ll be coming home?” Ben worked hard to keep the emotion out of his voice.
”Aww, does my twin miss me?” Doug laughed. ”Depends. Are you still doing that good deed bullshit?”
”Yeah.”
”Then I”m staying away. I don”t know what the fuck you think you”re going to accomplish.”
”Penance,” Ben said.
Doug made a scoffing sound. ”Fuck penance.”
And then he hung up.
Ben tossed his phone in the seat next to him, started his truck, and drove back to the house he had shared with Doug. He drove slowly, not in any sort of rush, because even though the place was empty, it was crowded with his self-recriminations.