Chapter 3
Gravel crunched under the car’s tires as Delilah pulled into her driveway. McKenzie was still halfheartedly fussing in the back seat, but thankfully the trip back from the pawn shop had been a short one. Delilah took the carrier with McKenzie in it out of the car, then grabbed the diaper bag. She got halfway to the door before she remembered her wallet.
Smiling down at McKenzie, who was now quiet, Delilah said, ”I remember a day when I only had to think about one thing every time I left the house. I just had to remember my wallet. And my keys. And my sunglasses. Okay, McKenzie, you make a good point. However, none of those things weigh very much. I”m either going to be totally ripped by the time you grow out of your car seat and start to walk, or I”m gonna have a broken back.”
McKenzie gurgled up at her, her petal pink lips quirking up at one side.
”Oh my gosh, was that a smile?” Delilah fumbled for her phone. She needed to get a picture of this. As far as she was concerned, the biggest tragedy of her life right now was that McKenzie had to be in daycare, and Delilah felt like she was missing out on McKenzie”s babyhood.
By the time she had her phone ready to take a picture, of course, McKenzie’s smile was gone.
”Come on, beautiful, work with me here. Give me a pout, give me a smile, c’mon, give me something....”
McKenzie blinked up at her and let out the loudest fart Delilah had ever heard.
Delilah burst out laughing. McKenzie blinked at her, still not smiling. Delilah looked around, wishing there was somebody she could share this with. That was the thing that sucked most about being a single mom.
She wondered again, not for the first time, whether she should contact McKenzie”s father. Her humor melted away and she pursed her lips. Although he was a nice enough guy, he just hadn”t seemed like the father type. He had been so open with her in some ways, so closed-off in others. They had broken up before Delilah even knew she was pregnant.
Gripped by guilt, Delilah had tried to call him shortly before McKenzie was born. He hadn’t picked up, so she’d left a vague message. He never called back. She had taken it as a sign, but now she once again felt that pang of wishing she could share McKenzie”s life with somebody who loved McKenzie as much as she did. Maybe she should try to call Chase again. If nothing else, she could give McKenzie the chance to know her father, which was something Delilah had never had. Not really, anyway.
Yes, she would call him. It was time—she had been putting this off for long enough. Once she’d gotten McKenzie settled, she’d try to call Chase.
She brought McKenzie inside and carried her to the nursery. Delilah had done everything she could to make McKenzie’s room a pleasant place. She had gotten some decorative touches on the cheap—pictures from old magazines at the rental agency where Delilah worked, as well as a bright rug that Delilah had found on clearance. The only thing she hadn’t skimped on when she was buying McKenzie”s things was the crib and the car seat. Safety first.
She took McKenzie out of her carrier and pulled her into her lap. McKenzie fussed until Delilah gave her the breast, and then she nursed. Delilah sat on the floor, leaning up against the wall. Her head lolled to the side. She was so, so exhausted. It would be so easy to put McKenzie down for the night and then stretch out and fall asleep on the bright orange rug in the middle of the room.
But Delilah had work to do. Her job at the car rental place wasn”t enough for daycare and then for the two of them to live on. At the grocery store yesterday, Delilah had overheard two moms talking in another aisle. One of them had mentioned that one of the caregivers at Tykes Palace had recently left. Maybe, Delilah thought, that meant there would be a job opening.
Once McKenzie was done nursing, Delilah carefully lowered her into the crib. She kissed McKenzie”s soft auburn curls and inhaled. Milky, sweet. There was just something incredible about the scent of a baby. Her heart clenched in her chest at the sight of McKenzie lying there, eyes closed, petal pink lips in a perfect pout.
”Sleep well, little bug,” she whispered.
She went back out into the living room. She didn”t have much in the way of furniture, just a single easy chair that had been left here from the previous tenant. When she moved in, she had covered it with a sheet after cleaning it as best she could. In her head, she called it the scum chair. Out loud, however, she said, ”I am grateful for this chair. This chair is my first step to having furniture of my own.”
Positive thinking hadn”t served her too well yet, but she knew it would start working soon.
She didn”t have a lot of data on her phone plan, so she did a quick search for Tykes Palace, wrote down the number, and then looked to see if there were any notes online about it hiring. There was nothing, but maybe the owner hadn”t posted the job opening yet.
Taking a deep breath, Delilah dialed the number.
”Hello?” a woman said.
”Hi, is this Tykes Palace?”
”Yes,” the female voice said. ”I”m Janine, the owner.”
Delilah”s breath came out in a whoosh. ”Oh, good,” she said enthusiastically. ”I was hoping to speak with you. I overheard that one of your caregivers left recently, and I was wondering if you had a job opening.”
”Yes, I do. I haven”t had a chance to look for a replacement yet. Do you want me to email you an application?”
”That would be great. Although, I have a quick question first.”
”Sure, what is it?” Janine asked.
It was better to get this part out of the way, find out if there was any hope of getting this job and bringing McKenzie with her. ”See, the reason I”m looking for a job is that I have a baby. I can’t afford both day care and rent, and—”
”Say no more,” Janine said. ”We can arrange something so you can bring along your baby. I know how it is—I was in the same position once.”
Inexplicably, Delilah”s throat felt tight. She had mostly gotten used to the strange ups and downs in her moods, but every now and then it still took her by surprise. In a garbled voice, she said, ”Thank you.”
”Oh, honey.” Janine”s voice was laced with sympathy.
”It”s okay, I’m, I”m just. Well, you know.” Delilah gave a little chuckle.
”Yeah, I do.” Janine paused, then added, ”What”s your email address, hon?”
Delilah gave it to her.
Janine said, ”I”m emailing the application to you right now. Fill it out, and then we”ll talk again soon. Okay?”
”Thank you so much, Janine. I hope we get to talk again soon.”
They said their goodbyes, and Delilah held her phone tightly in her hand. Other than the sneak attack from her emotions, the call had gone remarkably well. Janine sounded really nice. This was it—Delilah”s luck was finally turning.
Delilah took a deep breath and looked around the living room. Dull brown curtains covered the tiny windows. Hoping to make the place more cheerful, she had found other pictures from magazines discarded at the office and put them on the walls. She stared at an image that had been pulled from a travel magazine. It showed pine trees, majestic mountains, and a homey cabin nestled among the shadows, orange-yellow lights emanating from the windows. One day, she would be able to take McKenzie to a place like that. She would watch her daughter run through the trees, laughing and spinning.
Maybe now was a good time to call Chase. Tiptoeing, Delilah made her way to McKenzie”s doorway. She peeked in. All was quiet in the crib, and she could see McKenzie”s tiny chest rising and falling with each breath.
Now was the time. She was going to do it. She walked back to the scum chair and pulled up Chase”s phone number. The last time she’d tried to call him, she had run through every possible reaction in her mind. She ran through them again now. He could be delighted. He could be angry. He could just not give a single fuck. But he hadn”t been a bad boyfriend, as short-lived as their romance was. It was only right to give him a chance to know his daughter, and it was only right to give McKenzie a chance to know her father.
Sitting up in the chair, Delilah touched Chase’s name on her screen.
”We”re sorry, but the number you are trying to reach has been disconnected. Please check the number and dial again.”
”Dammit,” Delilah said, turning off her phone. What a stupid time for Chase to get a new phone. Didn’t he know he had a kid to meet?
No, he didn”t know he had a kid, because Delilah had been too confused and overwhelmed to even tell him. This was her fault, not Chase”s.
Well, there was one other way to reach him. She knew where he lived. One town over, in Belnedge. They hadn”t ever spent the night at his place, but one time they had stopped there so he could grab a six-pack of beer to bring to a party. She was pretty sure she could find his house.
She closed her eyes and visualized what she wanted to happen. She would find his place easily, and McKenzie would be a perfect little angel and she wouldn”t cry the whole way there. Chase would come out of the house, Delilah would give him the wonderful news of his adorable daughter, and then...what? What did she want from him? He would listen. He would be happy to meet McKenzie, and he would listen while Delilah told him all of the wonderful things about her. Maybe he would even hold McKenzie for a few minutes and let Delilah take a shower.
Opening her eyes, she turned her head and subtly sniffed her arm. Yeah, it had been a while. A shower would be great.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow, McKenzie would meet her daddy.