Chapter 28
At the grocery store, Ben considered the two six-packs already in his shopping cart. Hell, may as well add a third. Other than beer, he was getting toilet paper and steak. Lots of steak.
A baby cried a couple of aisles over and Ben”s heart started pumping faster. But it wasn”t McKenzie”s cry—he would recognize her sound anywhere, and this wasn”t it. His heart rate went back to normal, except maybe duller than before. Fuck, he hated this. He missed McKenzie, he missed Delilah.
It had been six days since they left, and it felt like six hundred fucking years.
He paid for the groceries and brought them home, then looked around the house. It didn”t feel right anymore. It hadn”t felt right after Chase died, and then it had felt even worse after Doug left. He had deserved that emptiness, he had deserved to be punished. But now, couldn”t the punishment end? Why did his past mistakes have to rip Delilah and McKenzie away from him, too?
There was an old nineties punk song about that by 88 Fingers Louie. He put away the steaks and beer, then went back out to his truck. Drinking alone, with his brothers’ voices filling his head, hadn”t worked, not since Saturday night and not any day in between. He got in his truck, pulled up ”Past Mistakes” by 88 Fingers Louie, then played it on repeat all the way to Hart’s.
He was hoping to find Viviana and Hudson, or maybe even Rafe and his mate, Brigitte. Instead, the only members of his pride at Hart’s were Gracie and Fraze. They sat at the bar, their legs touching. Gracie looked thoughtful, her deep pink lips pursed as Fraze talked.
Ben thought of turning around and walking out again, but if past mistakes were haunting him, maybe he should try one more time to tell them he was sorry.
As he approached them, he noticed their postures get stiffer—they had smelled him approach. How fucking horrible did he have to be, that his mere presence made people cringe? Yeah, he knew the answer to that. He had tried to kill Gracie.
Ben came up and stood next to Fraze. He noticed that Gracie”s and Fraze’s drinks were low. He signaled to the bartender. ”Can I get another round for these two? And a Guinness for me.”
”We don”t want your drinks, Ben.” Fraze”s voice was so low it sounded like a rumble.
”Be polite,” Gracie said, putting a hand on Fraze’s arm.
”I won”t bother you,” Ben said. ”I know you”re tired of hearing from me, so after I settle up this bill, I”ll wander off and leave you two in peace.”
Gracie looked at him. ”You know, we can get along. We can be civil.”
The bartender dropped off Ben”s beer, then came back with Gracie and Fraze’s drinks. Ben left some money on the bar and turned around, clutching his beer. He started walking toward the other end of the bar.
”But we don”t need to be friends,” Fraze added after him.
Point taken. Ben got it. He had tried, and he would keep on trying, but it would probably never be good enough for them. It was just like in the 88 Fingers Louie song. Somehow, Ben would have to make his own peace with that.
Besides, his problem now wasn”t Gracie and Fraze or anything to do with them. It was Delilah, and McKenzie. Their absence was slowly eating away at him. He could handle anything else—his twin’s absence, Gracie and Fraze’s scorn, even Chase”s death—as much as that hurt and as wrong as that was. But what he couldn”t handle was living another day without Delilah. He wanted her in his house, in his arms, in his life. How could she not feel the same? How could she so easily have packed up her things and driven away?
He couldn”t tell her now, not with beer on his breath. But tomorrow evening, when she got off work, he would be waiting in front of her house. He would be ready to say everything he had kept inside, all the feelings he had hidden away in the hopes of protecting himself.
He didn”t even finish his beer. He had a purpose now, something to do. A plan. He would beg Delilah to accept him if that”s what it took.
He started for the door. It opened before he reached it, bringing in scents of the summer night, and Viviana and Brigitte walked in. Ben mumbled hello and tried to walk past them, but Viviana grabbed his elbow.
”I thought you might want to know, the alpha put Rafe on the rogue”s tail,” she said. ”But about five minutes ago, Rafe lost him. We don”t know where he went, although we hope it”s back to the Saltwood Pack.”
Ben stared at her. ”Has she sent anybody to Delilah”s place?”
”Not yet, her first priority is finding the rogue.”
Ben swore. He bet his shiny truck that the rogue was going straight to Delilah”s. She still had that knife. If he wanted it bad enough, he would make another try for it.
”You think he’s still after the knife?” Hudson said, peering at Ben.
Ben didn’t know for sure, but he wasn’t taking any chances. ”I”ll head over there now.”
As Ben sped through town and down the highway leading to Maxon, he had one thought in his head: protect Delilah and McKenzie. Protect his family.